A/N:Hey guys!! I suck at summaries! This is my first fanfic and first attempt at a multichapter fic so I'm sorry if the formatting is a bit off and if I'm not too great at it but hopefully I'll get better at writing it as I go along. I've kind of tweaked the storylines from the show a bit, it's set in late season five but for the sake of my story, the ambush in the season three finale never happened and Martin and Samantha never broke up. I'll be referencing things that happened in the show along the way, so if you haven't seen past season five and don't want any plot spoilers, you probably shouldn't read this. I don't have anyone proof reading this, so any spelling/grammar mistakes are completely mine. Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Without a Trace or any of its characters. If I did, Danny would never be wearing a shirt.

Summary: After their breakup; Samantha and Martin try to rebuild their relationship whilst dealing with the challenges that life presents them with.

"It's like one step forward and two steps back

No matter what I do you're always mad

Baby I'm sorry to see maybe we're not meant to be"

-Theory of a Deadman "Not Meant To Be"

-March 2007-

"I don't want to talk about it!" Sam jammed the key into her apartment door.

"Well I think we need to talk about it!" Martin pleaded with her as he followed her inside. "You can't keep shutting me out of things!" He took his jacket off and slammed it onto the couch.

"There's nothing to shut you out of! I've just had a bad day and I'm tired" Sam dropped her keys into the bowl on her hall table.

"You've had a bad day because something about this case has clearly affected you. One of the cops at the scene of Abby Horton's body said you took one look at her and took off. What happened?" Martin's voice was full of concern as he put both of his hands on her shoulders. "Talk to me" He pleaded.

"Like I said before there is nothing to talk about! Now stop asking me! She pulled both his hands off her shoulders and went into her bedroom, slamming the door in the process. It wasn't until she heard Martin flick the television onto Sports Centre that she burst into tears, knowing he wouldn't hear her. She had lied to him. Abby Horton had affected her. When she saw her body, an image came to her mind, something that she had not faced in seventeen years. A sudden flashback of the night she killed her mom's boyfriend, the night her life changed forever. She couldn't tell Martin the truth; she was afraid she would lose him forever. And for that, she cried. She knew anyway that at the rate they were going at, she was probably going to lose him anyway. And for that, she cried even more.

About an hour later, Samantha emerged from her room wearing track pants and a tank top with her hair swept up into a messy ponytail. Martin was still sitting on the sofa with his tie loosened from around his neck. The television had been turned off and he sat, staring at the black screen with a beer in one hand.

She sat down in the chair across from him. "Are you hungry? Did you want to order pizza or something?"

Martin remained quiet for a long time. Finally, he placed his beer down on the coffee table and said in a quiet controlled voice, "No, I'm not hungry. But I do want to know why my girlfriend was crying for an hour and I couldn't go in to help her."

Samantha began to say something but he continued.

"And then it occurred to me. I couldn't go in to put my arms around her and tell her it would all be okay because I have no idea what has upset her. And I realised this is because she never talks to me, never lets me in to anything that's going on inside her head. So I've been sitting here for the last forty five minutes questioning why I keep trying to force my way in when she so clearly doesn't want me."

Sam didn't want to hear this. She knew where he was going with this. She just looked at him, got up and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of wine and a glass. He followed her but stopped at the door, leaning against the doorframe.

"So I've decided to stop trying. I've decided to stop everything because no matter how hard I try, I get nowhere with her." Samantha turned around but said nothing, she just stared blankly at his face.

"I can't do this anymore. I've tried with her but it's just not working!" His voice grew angrier with each word. "And it doesn't matter that I am so in love with her, that's right, so fucking in love with you Samantha, you can't seem to love me back!"

"I just…I just need more time." Tears began to roll down her cheeks for the second time in an hour.

"More time?" He asked angrily. "More time for what Sam? It has been a year! One whole year and you still don't want to move in together, you rarely come with me to visit my family, you also don't like to acknowledge the fact that we are together at work despite everyone knowing and you haven't been able to tell me that you love me even though I have been telling you for months now. What do you need more time for Sam? We have had all this time and we've gone nowhere. We're still stuck in the same place we were when we started dating and I just can't do this anymore. I can't sit around here and try to make this work when you so obviously don't want it to." And with that, he left the kitchen, grabbed his jacket and left.

Sam felt numbed. She sat down at the table and poured herself the glass of wine. She was angry at Martin for not staying but she was angrier at herself for pushing him away. She downed the wine and looked over at the sideboard, seeing her favourite framed photo of the two of them from his birthday last year. Looking at their smiling faces, Sam let the tears flow. She cried and cried and completely fell apart.

-----

Five weeks had passed since the breakup and things at work were tense to say the least. Martin had barely said a word to her since that night and it was starting to affect the team. They read into people's lives for a living. They knew a messy breakup when they saw one.

Samantha had hardly slept and drank more and more wine each night. Her friends were worried about her, particularly Danny and Elena. They were hopeful that she would eventually move on and return to her normal cheery self. Then Emily turned up.

Samantha had pretty much re-buried the memories of killing Joe. After that night two weeks ago, she hardly thought about it. She hardly thought about anything. She was already wound up enough and having Emily show up out of the blue was the last thing she wanted. After confronting her at the café and telling her she couldn't get involved with whatever Emily was going through, Sam went home. Her place was a wreck; she hadn't really done much in the way of cleaning over the last couple of weeks. She went into the kitchen to grab out another wine glass and the bottle when she saw a box on the table. On closer inspection, she found a few of her things in the box along with a note.

Sam,

I just came by to return your things. I grabbed my Foo Fighters CD and spare suit on the way out. Anything else you find of mine, just throw in the bin. My key to this place is in the box too.

Martin

She looked in the box and found the key along with her mascara, toothbrush, tube of moisturiser and pink satin singlet. The few items highlighted her lack of prescence at his place. She didn't spend a lot of time at his place and even though they were together for over a year, they still lived quite separate lives. This was mostly her doing; she didn't want to lose her independence. She only gave him the key to her place when she was getting back on her feet after she was attacked whilst undercover on the Colleen McGrath case. She looked at the note and took in the cold and impersonal tone. It was so different, it wasn't the Martin she was used to. "Screw you" She muttered before scrunching up the note and tossing it into the bin. She went into her room, changed into a figure hugging red dress, pulled her hair up and applied some lipstick. On her way out, Sam made a promise to herself that she wouldn't stop tonight until Emily, Joe and Martin were far from her mind. And with the killer red dress on, Sam hoped to find someone to replace Martin, even just for the night.

-----

Sitting at the bar, Sam was finishing off her third martini when a voice from behind the bar asked "So what was his name?"

Sam looked up and saw a young man drying off some glasses. "What makes you think it has something to do with a guy?"
The bartender put the glass down on the bar and threw the tea towel over his shoulder. "I'm a bartender. I'm very good at reading these things. Besides, there is no wedding ring and I rarely see a woman as beautiful as you alone in a bar drowning their sorrows in martinis unless they have recently become single."

Sam smiled and held out her hand. "Samantha Spade"

The bartender smiled back as he shook her hand. "Brian Donovan. So, did you want to order another drink and tell me all about it?"

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