Another one-shot guys.
Tell me what you think.
Clary POV
They say it's unhealthy, what I'm doing. But I can't help it. I can't stop it. It's already a part of me and it's not leaving any time soon.
They say that it take twenty one days to make a habit and twenty days to break one, but honestly it's a lot less to make it. I started this and after four days, it was a habit.
They say I'm killing myself. That I need to stay healthy if I want to live a happy life. But the way I see it, I can only live in the present. I'm not wondering what my future will hold because I'll get there when I get there.
They say that going to the therapy will help me. I know it won't. I don't think anything can help me at this point because I'm already too far in.
They say it's bad that they can see the bones in my arms, in my legs, in my face.
I don't care about what they say anymore. I am my own person and I hate being forced to eat.
This is what happens when you're bullied constantly for your weight. Because why would you want to keep living in the 'fat' body nobody thinks is perfect.
This is what happens when you keep getting up, only to be pushed back down and laughed at.
They say that my chances of having kids will be slim.
They say that no boy will ever want me if I'm fat.
They say that nobody should be judging me for my body.
They say that I should stop crying and just lose the weight.
They say that I am a person and that everybody cries. That I shouldn't be ashamed.
But then why does everybody else judge me for my body rather than what's on the inside? I bet none of them know that I draw. I bet none of them know that I have a brother who died two years ago because of a car crash. I bet none of them know that that's one of the reasons my body looks the way it does.
And maybe I wouldn't have done this if someone would have just stood up for me. Instead, the girl with the long brown hair and the boy with the golden eyes, along with several others, just watched, too afraid to speak up for concern that they would be bullied too.
But then, my body broke down from starvation, and I went into a shock. My parents rushed me to the hospital and helped me, but I still fell into a coma.
When I woke from my coma, almost a month later, my body had regained some weight from the I.V's.
When I woke from my coma, a boy entered the room.
When I woke from my coma, the boy with the golden eyes told me I was perfect the way I was.
When I woke from my coma, the boy with the golden eyes told me that he would help me feel more confident about my body. About myself.
Three years later, I smile.
Three years later, I have a beautiful boy with his fathers' golden eyes.
Three years later, I have another child, a girl, on the way.
Three years later, I realize all the people that called me fat, that told me I'd be better off dead, that told me no one could ever love me the way I was, were wrong.
Three years later, I am happy.
Okay, so this one is a bit of a downer, but it has a happy ending.
I don't know. I like it.
I want people to know, that there was a girl in my town that recently committed suicide because of people that called her fat. She was a happy girl, a girl that made everyone laugh and had a lot of friends. This kind of stuff actually happens to people. And then they wonder why she committed suicide.
All I'm asking, is that the bullies who may or may not be reading this, please, think before you say. You're words do have an effect on people. Apologize to those you have bullied. Put your words to good. Make a difference. Do you really want to be responsible for someone's death?
To those that walk in the hallways, and see others getting pushed down, and think "I'm not bullying them, I'm not bystanding," you are. By-standing, is when you see someone getting bullied and you don't do anything. That's all they want. They want some friends, they want people that will stand up for them. They want someone to think that they're one of the best people in the world.
And to those that lend a helping hand, that help them up when they've fallen or been pushed down, you are a hero to them. Stand by them through thick and thin. It will help and improve their moods and their life.
I have been all of these people, plus someone that has been bullied. It's not fun.
One of my best friends made fun of me for my weight whenever one of his cousins came to visit because he wanted to be cool in front of them and I was just the lame girl that tagged along.
I made fun of the odd boy because he wasn't like the rest of us, and because no one else wanted to be his friend. I pretended to be his friend and then I stabbed him in the back, and if I could I would apologize instantly. I wish I hadn't of done it and it's one of the things I regret most in life.
I used to walk around my school's hallways, and think that. I would see people getting pushed down, and I wouldn't help them. And one day I saw one of them crying before class, and that was when I started helping people being bullied.
BULLYING IS WRONG! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP TO STOP IT!
Tell me what you think about any of this. Please. And if you're a bully, P.M me. It will forever be a secret, but I want to know.
Thanks,
-Jace loves me.