Sweet Charity
by PrettyGothGirl
Summary:Cid has a new project and Rikku has come up with a way to earn money for it. Then Gippal finds out and he's not happy about it and has come up with a plan to get all of Rikku's sweetness to himself.
Author's Note: I'm back! Yes, I am off hiatus. I have a new policy now though, check my bio for details. Life is a lot better, but I don't have as much time for writing now. Anyways, I wrote this during my hiatus and I think it's the most humorous of the lot, which is why I'm posting it. I missed all of you and I welcome new readers! -PGG

"You're doing what?" Gippal asked. His eye wide and mouth slightly open as he stared at Rikku. The tone in his voice would have made anyone else of his acquaintance pause and rethink what they just said. However, since this was Rikku. She blithely continued on with a big smile on her face.

"I'm pledging kisses for charity." She repeated. She flipped her hair over her shoulder. "If you donate gil, I promise to give you so many kisses in return. You'll even have a coupon and everything." She pulled something that looked like checkbook out of her pocket and waved it at him.

"Give me that." He muttered and snatched it from her hands. He needed to see who else was trying to kiss Rikku. He wanted to be the only one kissing Rikku. He didn't need rivals.

"A single kiss is worth one hundred gil or I'll kiss you for one minute for one thousand gil. My goal is a million gil."

Gippal flipped through the pages, noting the names and the amounts of gil already pledged. He also noted that Rikku hadn't said what type of kiss she would give. A kiss, even a kiss for one minute could mean anything. He paused in his flipping. "You asked Clasko before you asked me?"

"I was closer to him than you. Jeez."

He gritted his teeth and mentally reminded himself that throttling her wouldn't do any good. It would also put his chances back of getting her as a girlfriend. "What's the gil going towards?"

"Building a town for the Al Bhed who want to live on Bikanel but were displaced when Pops blew up Home." She waved her hands. "It's going to be really great. Pops is drawing up plans and Anikki's consented to work half-price to ship materials. Oh, and I'm supposed to ask if you wanted to help out in some way, other than donating gil."

"I suppose Rin is helping." Gippal muttered going through the book one more time just to make sure he hadn't missed any of the names.

"Rin is matching the donations." Rikku bounced. "So, do you wanna help?"

He looked over the book at her. "Do I get time to think about it?"

"Oh sure. I can come back and bug you more."

He snatched a pen from a glass on his desk. "All right." He spread the coupon book in front of him, filled one out, ripped out his copy and handed it back to her. She grinned and hopped off the corner of the desk.

"Thanks, Gippal. I knew I could count on you."

He grinned back. "Not a problem."

She bounced on her toes as she walked towards the door, opening the book. Her steps faltered and she paused. "Five hundred thousand." She stuttered.

His grin turned into a smirk. "Now all you have to do is raise the other half."

She inhaled and started to walk again. "Right."

He watched her leave. He had the motivation, information plus a reason to see her again to get more information. Now, he needed to come up with a plan. No one else was going to kiss his girl, not even her father or her brother. He placed his fingertips together in front of his nose. It didn't matter if he already had five hundred minutes or five thousand kisses. He wanted them all. What's more, he didn't want to have to pay gil to get them. But for the moment, he would take what he could get.

He pulled a notebook over and began writing down names and amounts. It wouldn't do to forget somebody.

Rikku sat down at her station and pulled her coupon book out. She flipped it back open to Gippal's entry and stared at it. There in his neat blocky Al Bhed writing was his name and an amount that made her blush. She knew he would donate, but she hadn't thought he'd donate that much, five hundred thousand, five thousand kisses, or five hundred minutes of kisses. She groaned and sank into her seat.

Could she kiss Gippal five thousand times without her true feelings coming out?

"Something wrong?" Tidus leaned over her seat.

"Nothing's wrong. Nothing at all." She closed the book.

Tidus snickered. "You're really bad at lying."

She rolled her eyes. "Thanks. I didn't know that."

"Well, I like stating the obvious. Since, we were at Djose. I bet it has to do with Gippal."

Paine looked over Tidus' shoulder. "When Rikku lies, it always has to do with Gippal."

"Pa Xiead." Rikku glared at Paine. "You aren't helping."

"You seem to think I want to help you." Paine crossed her arms and tilted her head.

"It's called gender solidarity." Rikku huffed.

Paine snorted.

Tidus reached down and grabbed the book from her lax fingers. He opened it and his eyes widened. He whistled. "I wouldn't call that nothing."

Paine's eyes flicked to it and a smile appeared before she could stop it. It disappeared quickly. "Impressive."

Rikku flushed again. "It doesn't mean anything other than he has this need to embarrass me."

Tidus dropped the book back in her lap. "Umm-" Paine kicked his ankle and just looked at him. Men with more courage than Tidus quailed from that look. "Never mind." Tidus held his hands up and backed off. "I'll just go donate more to Yuna then."

Rikku tried to slide down more in her seat. Paine's stare wasn't comforting. "I'm in so much trouble."

Paine crossed her arms. "This isn't a new situation for you."

"He has a plan. Gippal always has a plan." Rikku muttered.

"Not always." Paine noted. She knew Gippal well enough to know that if he didn't have a plan right away, he made one up quickly. It just appeared he always had a plan. What he did have was a knack of analyzing information and implementing it quickly to his best advantage. Now, if Rikku couldn't figure out the advantage to Gippal donating so much gil to her, Paine wasn't going to tell her.

Rikku ignored her. "If I could just figure out what it is-"

"Or what it's going to be."

"-I could thwart it."

"Or try."

"I'm doomed."

Paine's eyes lit up. "Think of it this way, you get to kiss him five thousand times."

Rikku covered her face with her hands.

"And, this was all your idea." Paine raised a hand.

"Oh Spira, don't remind me."

"You came up with this all on your own. So, it's all your fault that this is happening."

"You're cruel, a meanie."

"And I don't have to kiss Gippal." Paine paused. "I promise not to tell Anikki and I'll make sure Tidus and Yuna don't."

Rikku sighed. "Thanks."

Gippal had his plan. Given what he had decided to do, he decided it was in his best interest to approach Cid first. In reality, it would be best to approach Cid first no matter what if he wanted to get involved with Rikku. Not only was Cid her father, he was still the somewhat dysfunctional leader of the Al Bhed and could order him to cleaning latrines in the farthest northern excavation camp he could find. Gippal shuddered and entered the Fahrenheit's bridge.

Cid had his legs spread and his arms crossed as he stared into the sphere-oscillafinder that held pride in place in the middle of the upper deck. Gippal cleared his throat to get his attention. Cid peered for a few minutes more before turning to face him. "You here about my city, boy?"

Gippal grinned. "In a way."

Cid's eyes narrowed. "You've got something going on in that brain of yours. You can't fool me."

Gippal crossed his own arms and leaned back. "I could if I was trying to, but I'm not so, why waste the effort." He said and shrugged. Cid snorted. Gippal's eyebrow rose. "I've decided I wanna to help out. I'll donate my workers labor free of charge to you. All wages they would earn working on the city would come out of my pocket." He covertly wiped his hands on his sleeves. It didn't do any good given his palms were gloved, but it helped him think he was wiping the sweat that was making them feel clammy off.

Cid's eyes narrowed. "I wasn't born yesterday. What's the catch?"

"You can't tell, Rikku."

"That seems easy enough, though she'd be happy to hear it."

"And she will, just when I want her to hear it." Gippal twitched.

"Which would be when?"

"Well, that's the trick now isn't it?" Gippal flicked his eyes away to look everywhere but Cid.

Cid stared at him for a few moments. Gippal was doing a fine act of his normal confidence that his daughter would call downright arrogance. It was a good act, just not good enough."Get on with it."

Gippal blew out his breath and heard his heart pounding in his ears. "I wanna date Rikku, but she's going around soliciting donations for which she pays in-" He ground his teeth as Cid began to chuckle. "-kisses."

"So, what does this have to do with me?"

Gippal swallowed. "Are you okay with me dating Rikku?"

Cid rubbed his chin. "Seems to me that decision is up to her. She slaps me down every time I try to interfere in her life." He shrugged. "You've my blessing for what it's worth."

Gippal relaxed a little. "All right." He exhaled. "All right." He grinned. "Then, all that's left is the small matter of the ten thousand gil donation you pledged her."

Cid paused in his chin rubbing. "She's my daughter."

"Well," Gippal bit his lip. "I wanna buy it from you at equal or greater value. You can do whatever you want with the extra gil. I don't care." He waited for Cid to do something. He smiled. "What would you rather have? One man kissing her or one hundred?"

Cid leaned his head back and he started to grin. He pulled out his coupon.

Gippal reached for his wallet.

"Here, buy something nice for the chocobos."

"Oh thank you, thank you. I can get them plenty of pretties with this."

"That's- nice."

"So, have you decided yet?"

"Nope."

"Come on, it's a yes or- hey!"

"What?"

"That's my business."

"Really? I just wanna see how you're doing Cid's girl. If I'm going to help there's going to have to be enough money involved to make it worth my while."

"So does that mean you're going to help."

"No."

"Gippal!"

"Look, I want to kiss her. She's cute and famous."

"And I want to smash your face in. So let's just keep things pleasant and do business."

"All right. All right. Fine. If she means that much to you, why are you letting her do this?"

"You're assuming she asked permission."

"Oh, one of those. Sorry."

"Thanks. I think."

"I understand, ya. If it was Lu, I wouldn't want anyone else coming around and laying their dirty lips on her either. Don't know where they've been."

"Ain't that the truth."

"I'll put a good word for you with da guys. They'll appreciate the effort you're going to."

"Here, buy something nice for Lulu."

"You don't have to do that."

"I insist, since you're helping and all."

"Ya, it's nothin'. And not a word to Rikku?"

"Not a single word."

"So-"

"No."

"Let me get the question out."

"Fine. Ask the question, while I look at this."

"How did-?"

"You aren't the only thief."

"Don't tug on my braids! Are you going to help or not?"

"Haven't decided yet."

"Oooh."

"It's a tough decision."

"Fine. I'll be back."

"Promise?"

"This whole thing is a huge scam. She's not going to do it. So, it'd be in your best interest just to let me buy your coupon and you can use the money to take your girl somewhere nice."

"A scam?"

"Yeah. The whole city thing is real, but she won't go through with the kissing. Trust me. I know her. Tobli's got a nice group going at the Moonflow."

"The Moonflow?"

"Yeah, new band, good for waltzing. Here. Free tickets."

"All right, if you're sure."

"Positively sure."

"If you let me buy your ticket, I won't tell Cid about that the thing with that person. We can both go our separate ways and I'll never bother you again."

"Never."

"Never. Never."

"Not a word to Cid."

"Not a solitary syllable."

"Right then. It's yours."

"Always a pleasure."

"And I never want to hear from you again."

"You won't, at least not on this."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing."

"Kimhari is Rikku's friend. Donations make Rikku happy. Kimhari likes to see Rikku happy."

"And she'll be happier if you let me buy your ticket from you."

"Kimhari is unsure…"

"She likes me, she likes me a lot. And I like her too. She's a great girl and I want to make her happy and this is a first step towards that goal."

"You make Rikku cry, Kimhari hurt you."

"I believe you."

"Come on Dachi. It's a measly thousand gil."

"A thousand gil I promised Rikku, not to turn around and have you give it to her."

"It will still get to her. So, what's the difference?"

"The difference is that you will receive the kisses and not me."

"Name your price."

"This must be tough on you. None of your usual tricks will work with me. No blackmail. No bribery. No bargaining."

"You are my only real rival here. You know it. I know it. So, there's no use pretending that we aren't both high on the sexiness department."

"Tell me your plan."

"And you'll sell the coupon to me."

"Yep."

"And no telling Anikki?"

"Well, you'll just have to trust me on that one."

"Are you going to help or not? The pledge drive ends tonight. I have to get the donations tomorrow after the opening ceremony."

"Come back tonight."

"You already know what you're going to do, don't you?"

"Yep."

"Then tell me."

"Nope."

"Argh. You are up to something."

"What makes you say that?"

"You're smug."

"Well, I'm always up to something."

"You're still smug, oh for Spira's sake, give me that! And stop laughing at me!"

"You want what?"

"Will you be quiet! I don't want her to hear."

"No. I won't be quiet. You can't just-"

"Anikki!"

"bsalfbljoidafbldkafjoiweugnbigh…"

"If I let go of your mouth, do you promise not to yell?"

"uowisoudsngoidougndie"

"Just nod or shake your head. Fine. I'm giving you one chance."

"You get plenty of action. You don't need hers. You'll just end up breaking her heart."

"I won't. I promise I won't. Just sell me the coupon."

"I won't let you hurt my sister!"

"I'm not going to hurt her! I want to have a chance of being with her. She's as slippery as a fish and as flighty as a butterfly and I love her."

"… you love her?"

"Yes. And I'll steal your coupon if I have to."

"Hmph. You know what happens if you hurt her."

"You'll tear out my gizzard and gouge out my eyeballs and yadda yadda yadda. I know."

"Good."

"Thanks Anikki. I owe you."

"I'll remember that."

"For the last time-"

"Sure. I'll help."

"You will."

"Yep."

"You aren't just saying that to pull my leg."

"Nope. Free work, well, free to you, not free for me."

"Really?"

"Really, really."

"Oh that's wonderful, wonderiffic."

"I need to breathe."

"Sorry."

"All done with pledges then?"

"Yep, oh for- it hasn't changed since this morning."

"Just making sure. You know, any last minute additions."

"So, I'll see you tomorrow morning?"

"I wouldn't miss it."

Rikku wanted to hug herself with excitement as Pops turned the first ceremonial spade of sand. But that wouldn't fit what little dignity the occasion had, so she satisfied with grinning. Cid passed the shovel to Rin, who passed it to Gippal. Her heart pounded. Everyone was working together to create something again and she had helped. The men shook hands and clapped each other on the back. Music began to drift over the work site.

The crowd dispersed towards the refreshment tables and groups into the work site to point out where they'd marked out plots of land to be houses; their houses. She skipped over to the men and hugged her father. "Good plan, Pops."

He leaned into the hug. "You came up with the way to make it possible." He grumbled. Gippal straightened, stared a second and shook his head. Cid chuckled. "You want to turn some earth?"

Rikku giggled. "No thanks, I'd rather watch the men get all sweaty."

"There will be plenty of that to see." Rin said.

She smirked. "I know." Then she looked up at her father. "Well Pops, you owe me ten thousand gil."

"Nope. I don't."

Rikku ducked out his arms and turned to face him. She placed her hands on her hips. "Yes, you do." She pulled out the coupon book and waved it under his nose. "I even have the paper to prove it. You have one too."

Cid clenched his fist in the effort not to start laughing. "No such thing. I ain't got a coupon."

Rikku narrowed her eyes. "You do so! I gave it to-" Someone tapped her shoulder. Rikku turned her head, her eyes widening at the check Gippal held there.

"I believe I owe this to you."

She took it and read the amount. "You- you- you can't! This is the full amount."

"Yep, one million, two hundred seventy-eight thousand, nine hundred gil. Which means you owe me, twelve thousand, seven hundred, eighty-nine kisses. Not quite a lifetime supply, but a fair quantity."

She spun on her heel. Her mouth opened to protest that he couldn't owe her this much because that would mean he had all the coupons. And he couldn't have all the coupons. He pulled out a thin pile of coupons clipped together. The blood rushed from her face. He did. He had them all. Her mouth was dry. She tried to work her jaw and voice. She jerked her gaze to his face.

Gippal smirked, leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. His tongue lazily invaded her mouth. She felt someone take the check from her lax fingers before she dropped it. She brushed her tongue against his, her nerves almost jumping out of her skin when he teased it back. She closed her eyes. Her body arched towards him as she became more involved in the kiss, the feel of his lips on hers, the touch of his tongue. Vaguely she was aware of some beeper going off. He broke away. She whimpered, eyes fluttering open. He grinned. "That's just a taste." He said, voice husky and eyes hooded. "Except that you have to start them."

She whimpered again for an entirely different reason. She licked her lips.

He raised his eyebrow. "That was fifty-nine seconds."

Rikku flushed. He had managed to embarrass her.

Gippal grabbed her hand. "Wanna drink?" He asked as he started to drag her away.

"Only if it's straight alcohol."

"Babe, I've seen you when you're drunk. I don't think so."

"Babe?"

"Well, if we're going to go have a picnic lunch I can't call you Cid's girl."

"Picnic lunch?"

"You know, a blanket on the beach with food." He reached over and tugged on a braid. "Ants. Good company."

"Stop tugging my braids." She batted at his hand

"They're there."

"And use my name."

"Eh, you aren't ready for that yet."

"Not ready! I am stronger than you."

"Oh, I'm shaking."

Rin turned to Cid and sighed. "There goes trouble."

Cid chuckled. "Trouble is what keeps life interesting."

"That should be an Al Bhed saying."

"It isn't. I thought it was. Oh well. I'm getting too old to keep up with trouble."

"Me too, my old friend. Me too."

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