Author's note: This idea was given by Alesandra Night who had given me the most beautiful review ever. She thought thoroughly through the story, that her suggestion was a definite yes. She had given me the excerpt of "Falling out of love". Thank you and this is specifically for you.
Fallen Out of Love?
Life is not always happy and sweet as Angel once thought. She was currently boxing the items that they once loved. She still loved them, but it seemed he no longer did. She never thought this day would come but it was final, today was the day that she would go back to being Angel Lennon.
She wiped her tears forcefully, angry at herself for crying. She thought she had shed enough tears of weeks of yelling and arguing. What she hated most of all is that she fought till the end, while he gave up easily. That must have hurt the most that he was the one who had given up.
She had loves before him that was for sure. She had the longest standing crush for L; but who didn't? He was what little girls dreams of finding. While other girls moved on, her eyes still were laid on L, that is until Soar married him. She then had suffered her first heartbreak. She was young then, barely 13, when they married during the Kira case. They married in case the case would cause his death, it almost had.
Her second heartbreak had occurred when she was fifteen. Mello had been following her for some time, and she had been ready to try and date boys her own age. Carys, her best friend had been in a relationship with Mail Jeevas for years and it was about time she received some love in return. She finally allowed him to take her on the date. On the eve of the date she walked down the halls, only to see him kissing Linda. That was her second heartbreak.
Her third as many say, was the worst one. Near had asked her to join his SPK as soon as it L needed help. She packed her bags messily and followed him, not ever looking back at the place she called home. She devoted herself to work, and even Near himself. Their short conversations turned to hours long conversations. Their long conversations turned to waves as they walked near each other, or light touches when something was accomplished. Finally those light touches turned to warm intimate touches that she couldn't forget as much as she tried. She had remembered last night.
Flashback…
It was the darkest hour, after talking for hours they had come to a decision; make that Near came up with their decisions. She had signed, he had signed. She had to be strong, she wasn't the young girl that she was years before. She looked around the room; each inch of the room had a memory of them together.
The pictures all around the walls all held many of their memories. Their first date and the photo booth, their first kiss in central park all these memories taunted her. They seemed so happy, but then suddenly he wanted to separate from her. He wanted her away from him, she couldn't handle that. She wiped more tears and sniffled.
She walked towards their, no his bed and she slid under the covers. She shuffled towards the corner and curled against the wall. Her tears were silent, but the moonlight couldn't reach her, thus she felt safe. She had been brave, she hadn't let him see her in this state, she couldn't. She knew since the beginning she was the weakest one of the pair and she would be damned if he found out that she wasn't over it.
Near entered the bedroom and squinted his eyes the darkness blinding him. After a while, he managed to get used to the darkness. He heard short breathing and he turned to face the bed. What he saw was something he never really expected. There was Angel crying her eyes out. He turned on one of the lamps and while it didn't light up the whole room, it was enough to make it less dim. What he saw broke his heart.
There on the bed was his wife, his soon to be ex-wife. He could clearly see her tears running down her cheeks. She was trembling and her cheeks were red from her exertion. He couldn't look away from her face, her body, all of her. He still loved her, but it wasn't safe.
Angel finally managed to look up and their eyes connected. Brown eyes met grey and he saw how sad she actually was. He walked towards her and her frame showed more clearly. He could see her tears running down her cheeks and her frame trembling as he got closer, her fists closing around the bedspread. He climbed towards the bed tentatively looking as if she was a cornered animal. She looked small and fragile and he knew it was because of him.
His hand touched hers and their eyes began their silent conversation. Her deep brown eyes begged him to change his mind. She begged him not to go but his eyes led towards their hands. As if it was natural, their fingers intertwined and their warmth spread through both of them. They both knew it was too late.
He did what was second nature to him, and pulled her towards him. She snuggled and nuzzled the crook of his neck. She loved him, she always had and he knew it. She loved him almost as much as he loved her but it wasn't right.
"I love you" he heard her whisper, it was almost inaudible, but he heard it.
She didn't have to say it, he didn't need to hear it, he knew. They both knew.
"I love you too" he croaked out finally saying something.
"Then don't leave me" she whispered.
"You're the one leaving" he replied somewhat defensively.
"You asked me too, you pushed me away" she said and hiccupped as fresh tears appeared.
They didn't move for a while and just held each other close, fearing losing their other halves. He suddenly felt cold as she pulled back. His eyes met hers once more as she crawled in front of him. They leaned towards one another and they shared a kiss.
One kiss lead to another, one more passionate, more desperate. Their hands separated and slipped into each other's hair. He leaned towards her, making her back hit the bed. It was an uncomfortable position but neither one cared, all that mattered was that they were together, for now.
"Near" she whispered.
"Call me Nate" he said silently begging. "Please"
"Nate" she corrected herself and their lips met once more.
His hands led down her body and tugged her legs from under them so she laid down comfortably. He kissed her tears that continued to run down her cheeks. He kissed her cheek and traced a teardrop down from her eyes, to her cheeks, to her neck and he caught it. As he kissed the tears and collected them on his lips, his hands made work of her clothing. Clothes were shifted from, ripped, lost against their actions.
They no longer cared, all that mattered was the now. Tomorrow….they would deal with tomorrow, all that mattered was today. His hands warmed her body and her hands showed him the love that she expressed everyday of their unity. Her eyes, her words, her fingers all showed her devotion.
They gasped as they became one, the dance that many danced since the beginning of time. The silence of night ended with little gasps, moans and cries. As their completion arrived, and he separation from her body, he pulled her towards him once more. They looked at each other's eyes, they shared one final kiss, and they lay against each other. No words were now needed to be uttered; their previous actions had said all they needed to say. All that was heard was heavy breathing. Angel's tears had dried up, Near had collected most of them.
The night was coming to an end. Their grief was tugging at their hearts. They wanted to make up, they wanted to stay like this, but this time it was different. This time they had fallen out of love, correction, they were ripped apart because of love.
End Flashback..
She shook her head remembering last night's activities. She would no longer blush at those memories, because it didn't bring embarrassment, it gave her grief. She taped shut the last box and looked around the room. Most of their things were packed, their pictures she had decided to keep them all, he didn't protest.
"Are you done packing?" A voice asked.
She turned and smiled a tired smile to Mello. He was kind to her, being their only single friend he had offered her a room. She had no choice to accept, she didn't want to bother the other married couples.
"Oh squirt" he said and pulled her into a hug.
"I'm not gonna cry" she whispered.
"I know, just….just hold it till we get home okay?" he asked.
She nodded against his chest and pulled back.
"Take this to the car please?" she asked.
"Of course" he said and lifted the box.
As he walked towards the exit he saw Near coming towards them. He glared , angry at his frienemy and muttered.
"Idiot" he said.
Near looked at him and glared in return. He turned to face his now ex-wife who held her hand against her chest. Her eyes were dulled, her glint gone and she looked like she had lost some weight. He had noticed that the previous night, but he said nothing, to engrossed in their action.
"You're leaving" he said, he didn't need it ask, it was obvious.
She nodded. He thought she wasn't going to say anything, but he was surprised when she did.
"I am" she said.
He didn't know what to say.
"Goodbye Near" she said.
He hadn't noticed she was walking away from him. He instinctively pulled his hand out to grab her. She turned to face him absolutely expressionless.
"Wait don't I have to, we have to-" he stammered.
She slipped from his grip and shook her head.
"You should have done this last night. I think we've talked enough Near, don't you? You and I are going in two different directions, you towards more cases and for me, the urban live. I'm still eighteen you know? So it works fine, two years of marriage was enough, or so you suggested. Have a good life ….I-I love you" she said.
She walked out from his life and he had simply let her go. He walked towards the entrance to see her slipping in the car with Mello. He saw her expression change as soon as she left the room. As he saw them drive away he suddenly felt something. He felt anger, anger towards himself.
"Damn it" he hissed.
He wouldn't ever see her again, he started this and she had ended it. She nailed the last nail on the coffin, yet he had nailed the rest. He didn't know this, but he wouldn't see her for a while…
Next year…
He knocked on the door, tugging the sleeve of his tux . He was once again in a church, but this time it wasn't his wedding but his friends. The door opened and the blonde smiled.
"Glad you came Albino!" Mello said clapping him on the back.
"Glad to be here" he muttered and slipped into the room.
He looked around and saw Matt and L inside as well.
"Can't believe you're getting married man" Matt said shaking his head.
"It was bound to happen" L commented.
"To Halle?" Matt said laughing.
"Shut up" Mello said.
Near looked at them, he was the only one that was single. All of them were happy in their relationships in spite of all the arguing.
"Is she coming?" Matt asked.
Mello looked at him like he was stupid.
"Not Halle, but you know" Matt rephrased his previous comment.
Near tensed at his question.
"Naw I wanted her to but she can't. She's in the states working. She did call Halle and me two nights ago to wish us a great day and you know her blessing. And today her present came, man she bought us a vacation. She's doing damn good." Mello said.
Near frowned.
"How does she look?" he asked.
All the men turned to face him surprised he managed to ask.
"She looks great and she's happy …it took her a while but she's happy" Matt said quietly.
"She talks to you?" Near asked somewhat surprised.
"Well, not me, well sometimes yeah! But she normally talks to Carys" he said.
Near nodded and looked at the red rose on his tux.
"You miss her?" Matt asked.
"Sometimes" Near muttered.
"It's your fault" L said.
L was always the blunt one.
"Come on you guys, this is my day. Let's get me married!" Mello said.
Near looked at Halle coming out of her dressing room in a white dress. He remembered how she looked in her wedding dress . Her light blush, her shyness. He shook his head and paid attention to the wedding.
Two years later.
He closed the door behind him. He no longer lived in their old home, the memories were too hard to ignore. He wasn't paying attention and he crashed into another frame. He grunted and the person squeaked. He froze, he knew that squeak. That was one of surprise, the woman he knew had many different types of squeaks: a spider squeak, an excited squeak, and one of surprise.
"Sorry" he said after a while.
He looked down at the ground to see her . Her. Her hair was much longer than he remembered but she looked just as beautiful as before. He noticed she had finally seen who he was. She looked up at him in surprise, shyness, and worry. Obviously she didn't know he lived here much less in front of her apartment. They both seemed to study their changes, three years had been a long time.
Finally he seemed to function and stuck out his hand for help. She shyly took it and he pulled her up with so much force she landed right on his chest. He tensed and closed his eyes remembering her, her scent and how she felt around him.
"Sorry" he muttered.
"It's fine" she sighed.
She pulled back and wiped the dirt from her clothing and smiled at him. He was surprised by her action but she had forgiven him. He felt himself smiling back at her.
"How have you been?" he asked somewhat stupidly.
"Fine, busy you know with work" she said.
"Oh, what do you work in?" he asked.
"I started my own business. Cooking and baking you know?" she said.
He nodded. She really had a normal live like she wanted.
"And you?" she asked after a while.
"Fine, working on cases" he said twiddling his hair nervously.
"Seems nothing's changed with you" she said.
He noticed she was somewhat disappointed. Maybe it wasn't the smartest thing to say.
"Excuse me" someone said after a while of uncomfortable silence.
They turned to look at a woman that lived in 34J.
"Could you two move ? Go on a date or something" she said pushing through.
As she walked buy she continued to mutter things like "Kids these days" and "Idiots"
Angel blushed as did he.
"Wanna take her suggestion?" she asked.
Near looked surprised and blushed nodding. He noticed her confidence had grown and she was different. It seemed maybe she was a totally new person.
"Well?" she called out.
He shook his head and looked around for her, only to find her at the end of the hall and pushing the elevator button. She slipped in and waved.
"You comin?" she asked.
He nodded and ran over to her. This time he was coming with her, and he wasn't going to fall out of anything. He slipped in as the elevator doors closed behind him. She giggled.
"Accepted my date huh?" she said.
"Yeah, I do" he said.
"Good, I'm buying" she said winking.
"I will treat then next time" he said.
She looked at him amused.
"Next time?" she asked "How do you know there will be a next time?"
"Uh well I" he said nervously. He felt out of his element and he acted unlike himself.
"We'll see" she said.
"What?" he asked.
"We'll see who treats who the next time" she said with a small smile.
He slipped his hand around hers and squeezed it. She tugged her hand back and he thought she was rejecting him. Suddenly he felt an elbow to his side.
"Don't get fresh with me Mister" she said coyly "You need to work for this" she said pointing to herself.
"You've changed" he said commenting.
"Yeah, and for the better" she said.
They smiled and as the elevator dinged, maybe it was the start of something new. Maybe before they weren't ready, but this time they were….well he didn't know about her, but he was. He wasn't going to let her fall out of anything.
"Hurry up Nate" she whined.
"I'm right behind you" he said.
And he definitely was.