Author's Note: How about a little Christmas in July? Happy reading, folks!
Disclaimer: I own a netflix subscription. And a bottle of wine. That's about it.
All she had to do was finish this one last exam and she was free! Well, free for the next two weeks, but free nonetheless. She sighed and leaned her head forward, bracing it on her forearm. Her eyes scrunched as she fought to will her brain to think faster and come up with the right answer. She could hear the soft tick-tock of the clock coming from behind her and part of her felt anxious that she would not have enough time. The other part of her was already halfway out the door in vacation mode, waiting for the rest of her to catch up. Oh! Classical Conditioning, that was the answer! She quickly scribbled it down, ran through her test (but not really) to make sure she didn't miss any, and bound out of her seat and gave it to the teacher. With a wave goodbye and good riddance to the crotchety old nag who had it out for her since day 1, she skipped her way out of the school building.
As she headed into her apartment, she stopped dead. Killian's coat was already hung by the door, meaning he was home, but he should still be at school. Her first thought was that something must be wrong- their plan to head back to Storybrooke to visit their families was to wait until the traffic settled and leave after dinner. Before her thoughts could run wild, his appearance coming from his bedroom quickly her worries to rest. Her face must have spelled out her thoughts and he wordlessly held out his arms which she rushed into.
"Ah, my little worry wart."
She playfully shoved him away, before pressing her head back against his chest. She could feel through his plaid shirt the soft rumblings of his chuckles.
"Why are you home so early? I thought you had an exam. Wait- you didn't skip, did you? Killian Jones!" She stomped her foot at him, to which only made him laugh harder.
"Darling, why are you middle naming me? My professor changed the exam to a take home this morning. However, since you had your nose buried in your books…." His voice trailed off, his eyebrow raised (playfully) at her accusation.
"Sorry." She mumbled and hid her face into the crook of his neck, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. Since they were kids, her propensity to worry was something he loved to tease her about. His approach to life was relaxed, go with the flow, and often times it drove her crazy. Perhaps that's the key to why their friendship had lasted and worked for this long. He kissed the top of her head and pulled away.
"How did your exam go, Swan?" A hint of mirth graced upon his features prompted her to drag him to sit next to her on the couch.
"You were right. It was not as bad as I expected it to be."
"And…" He prodded her, with a tilt of his head, his chin jutting forward, to match the grin on his face.
"I could have totally gone out with you last weekend, and not stayed at home." She resigned and dropped her head back, against the couch, a pout adorning her face.
Sitting next to her, he laughed, a deep chuckle, that came from the bottom of his belly, before she decided to hit him square in the chest with one of their couch pillows.
"Well Mister, since you didn't have to go into school today, where were you?"
"I….was…ummm….well..Christmas shopping." He stumbled over his words, a faint red beginning to appear on the apple of his cheeks.
Her eyebrow raised slightly in disbelief and amusement at his discomfort. "At the mall? You hate the mall!"
He tried to turn away from her, but she pulled him back to face her, mischief dancing in her eyes. "Fine, yes. I went to the bloody mall to do some bloody Christmas shopping."
She clapped her hands in glee, her grin growing wider as the blush on his cheeks did as well. She was not going to let him change the conversation or drop it.
"Oh! What did you get? Did you get something for Liam? Or Elsa? Or the new baby?" She fired off her questions in excitement and he smiled, despite the nervous feeling churning in the bottom of his stomach. Emma's joy in the small things always amused him- a wildflower that he picked from a field would be found pressed into a scrapbook rather than throw away. A drawing that he would sketch out of boredom while they were waiting for their food to come, would be stowed away with the rest of her keepsakes. He found her genuine delight at the smallest gestures quite endearing.
He smiled at her tenderly, wondering when the day would come that he would finally get to tell her all that he had been keeping in his heart. All the words of how their friendship had turned into love for him after all these years. The words of how he wanted to spend all his time with her (which he already did) but not as her best friend, but as more. They had known each other since they were kids- Storybrooke was the first place he truly called home. He, Liam, and his father moved there right before his first day of school and that was where he met his best friend, Emma Swan, the woman he grew up with and fell in love with. As she kept pestering him about what he bought and who he bought it for, he had to fight the urge to just simply bend down to capture her lips with his and silence her ramblings.
There were times that he could swear she looked at him like she felt as he did. Times where she grabbed him into a hug and held onto him a little bit tighter, like a lover would do. He internally cleared his head of these thoughts- reminiscing about these what-ifs were not going to help him.
"Come onnnn! Tell me one present you bought!" She pleaded, giving him the look that she knew would make him cave. Minx.
"Swan, you know some men would find your silence off-putting…" He teased her, a sarcastic, but playful drawl underlying his words. He was met with a swat to his shoulder by the damn, blasted couch pillow again.
Her sweet giggles filled his heart with warmth and instinctively made him smile as well. They went over their plan to leave for Storybrooke tonight after dinner and each made their way to their rooms to finish packing. As Killian entered his room and shut the door behind him, his stomach returned to the mass of nerves that he had been desperately trying to ignore. He needed to muster up the courage and give this to her before they left- this would be one of the last times that they would be alone during this holiday season. Only question that weighed on him was, how would Emma react?
Oh Swan, of all times for you not be an open book to me.
-/-
She dragged out her suitcase to the living room, surveying the Christmas decorations they decided to put up this year. Her and Killian's stockings hung by the mantle of the fireplace- it was shocking that she was even able to find the name Killian on such an item. They argued back and forth over getting a tree and she managed to convince him that not having a Christmas tree was blasphemous! Their tree wasn't big or overly decorated, in fact it reminded her of a bigger version of the Charlie Brown tree (not by much). The ornaments they hung were maybe less than 20, but she smiled looking at each of them because they reminded her of how much fun she and Killian had picking out the ornaments and later hanging them up. In comparison to the way her mother decorated their family home back in Storybrooke, the decorations here were pitiful, but it didn't matter to Emma. This was her and Killian's home and she thought everything was perfect just the way it was.
It was getting harder for her to not imagine that they were more than just best friends. She had known Killian all her life- ever since he moved to Storybrooke. When it came time for her to go to college, it only made sense that she and Killian would probably end up going to the same school. They had never not gone to school with one another.
It had been tough trying to convince her father to let her and Killian live together and if it weren't for her mother, she probably would not have succeeded. Her father insisted that there must be something going on between them, but she swore up and down to the heavens that they were just friends. Of course, that came back to bite her in the ass, because she was in love with said best friend.
Sure, both of them had been in relationships (most recently, her with Walsh or as Killianaffectionately called him monkey boy and him with Elena or as Emma lovingly called her greenie) but for Emma at least, it always felt like something was lacking. She would be watching a football game with Walsh, but she wished she was watching it with Killian. He at least would find the commercials entertaining or would laugh at her snarky commentary. Instead, she was met with shushes from Walsh and she realized quickly on that this wasn't going to work between them. She wasn't quite sure what happened with Elena, but the day that Killian came home, grabbed and opened a new bottle of rum, and muttered the words crazy throughout the night in between drinks, suffice to say, it was evident that Elena and him were not going to work out either.
So many times she wanted to let the words slip off her tongue and tell him that she no longer saw him as just her best friend. Of course, they had always teased each other once they got older, but it seemed to Emma that this was different. Teasing walked the fine line of flirting and their banter definitely toed that border. Many nights after drinking she could feel a tug between them to kiss, but she was always too scared that the kiss would reveal all. After the kiss, there would be no turning back and she couldn't stand it if she lost Killian.
Her musings were interrupted by Killian meeting her in the living room, his own bag slung across his shoulder. He mentioned to her that perhaps they should just grab dinner before they left and she couldn't agree more. After she hung up the phone from ordering from their go-to pizza place, she found her way next to him on the couch. He sat there, lazily strumming his guitar, his fingers plucking at the strings to bring out smooth, soulful notes. Content to just sit next to him, she realized that this was all she needed to be content. Some really good pizza that would soon fill her belly, Killian sitting next to her-the two of them together.
He once tried to teach her how to play guitar, but she just kept getting distracted by him (something she never told him) that she swore she just didn't have the patience to learn (a complete lie). She closed her eyes, her head close to falling on his shoulder, just listening to the soft hum of his voice that accompanied his playing.
"You ready to go back to Storybrooke for the holiday madness?" His soft question caused her to open her eyes and look at him. Her eyes sparkled at him intensely and his next words were caught in the back of his throat.
"Nope. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm excited to see Mom and Dad and everyone else. But, I would be just as happy spending Christmas here." She shrugged. "What about you?"
"I agree. I think it will be fun to go back home and see the fam, but Christmas here sounds nice. What would we do?"
"For starters, we would have some awesome pizza."
He laughed. "Christmas movie marathon for sure."
"Hot chocolate with-"
"Cinnamon" they both added together.
"Popcorn." He added.
"And presents!" They eyes met and Emma quickly looked away, biting her lip as she did so. Before he could ask her what was the matter, their pizza was there and she quickly bounded off the couch to go grab it.
Since all of their things were packed for their visit, they had more than enough time to settle in and enjoy their dinner. However, Emma seemed unable to relax. She picked at her pizza, nibbling on the crust, as the movie It's A Wonderful Life played in the background. While it looked like she was watching the movie intently, Killian knew her better enough to notice that her eyes glossed over the film, the usual moments she would laugh or sigh met with silence.
Perhaps this was the wrong time to give his gift to her. All week long, he had been lucky she was distracted by her exam to not notice his odd behavior. But given the way she was acting, caused him to second guess his plans before they left.
"Emma, you okay?"
She shook her head, coming out of her thoughts, and apologized. "I'm sorry, Killian. I've been a little up and down all day- probably a combination of lack of sleep, too much coffee, and stress."
"Well perhaps, you need a little cheering up. How about I give you your Christmas present now?" He didn't mean to say that (god he wasn't ready), but he just wanted to bring a smile to her face and take away the sadness from her eyes. She perked up at his suggestion, before her face fell. "Your present is back in Storybrooke."
"That's okay, Swan. We usually exchange gifts back in Storybrooke anyways. But since I picked up your gift today, I think you should open it now." He eased her guilt with a wink, before he grabbed the box from his stuff and shoved it into her hands.
"I hope you like it." He whispered shyly, as he watched her thumb the ribbon that decorated the box.
"I'm sure I will, Killian. It's from you." She started unwrapping the package and looked up to find Killian staring intently at her, the worry lines barely grazing his face. She was curious as to what the box contained that would cause him so much anxiety. She tore off the wrapping and opened the box to find.a snowglobe.
It was a joke between her and Killian that she was obsessed with snowglobes. In fact, one summer she dragged him to go with her to a snowglobe museum. Between her excitement in shaking every glove and his apparent boredome, they were asked to never return again.
She brought the globe closer to her so she could peer and see what was beneath the glass. She gasped in surprise when she saw a mini replica of Storybrooke.
A little building with a sign Granny's- the place that they always went to for milkshakes and grilled cheese.
The library- where they spent so many hours either working on research papers or thumbing through the shelves looking for books to read.
Their school.
The sheriff station.
Her house.
His house.
The ice rink by their house.
Her eyes froze. Two little figures skating on the ice rink. Her and Killian. Their little figurines' arms wrapped around one another. Her eyes snapped up and met Killian's serious ones. The eyes that usually danced with bemusement and mirth were serious and blue.
She swallowed slowly, her hands starting to shake, her whole body waiting in anticipation for what he was going to say, what this present meant, what all of this meant for them.
He licked his lips, trying to stall for time, knowing that this moment- right here- would completely change the course of his future with Emma.
"I'm in love with you." His whole speech, the one he had been practicing and perfecting for days, completely gone- all the words escaped him and instead only those five words he had spent bottling for so long came out.
"Tell me, again Killian." She leaned in closer, her eyes filled with tears, but also hope.
That look she gave him was one he would never forget. It was the look of love and pure unadulterated joy rushed through him.
"I'm in love with you, Emma Swan." She placed the snowglobe on their coffee table, before she lept right into his arms.
"I'm in love with you, Killian Jones." He gathered her back into his arms and held her as they whispered words of love to one another.
He felt her body relax in his arms and he pulled back to cup her face. "I've been wanting to tell you for so long, love."
She looked back at him incredulously, "Really? I've been feeling this way too for a while."
They both laughed at themselves- they could have spared a lot of their worries if they had just told one another.
"I didn't know how to tell you." He revealed to her.
"I didn't want to lose you." She whispered softly as he tucked her back into his arms.
"My love, you don't have to worry about that." She nuzzled her face against his chest and then sat up in his lap so that she was facing him. Happiness and love were radiating from his eyes and she wound her arms around his neck, her lips brushing tentatively with his. That one small motion ignited the fire that had been slowly burning between them after so many years. He crashed his lips to hers, their lips moving against one another. His found his way into her mouth, her hands pressed tightly against his neck. She tasted like cinnamon and sweetness and he felt as if he couldn't get close enough to her. Their tongues met in a familiar dance, stroking caressing, never easing up on their movements. Her hands slowly ventured their way into his hair, softly tugging on it to bring him closer to her.
Regretfully, they both pulled away, their eyes searching the other's for any indication of regret. All they found was radiant happiness shining forth mirrored on one another.
"Best Christmas ever." She sighed in utter contentment, and he nodded in agreement, his chin grazing the top of her head that rested on his chest.
"Your dad's going to kill me." He resigned, as he stroked her hair softly, gently playing with the ends.
"Shhh. I'll protect you."
