Remembrance
By Michelle

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of NBC, Aaron Sorkin, or whoever. I'm not writing this for profit in any way, shape, or form, but because I have a lot of spare time on my hands.

Spoilers: None.

Rating: PG

A lone woman entered the quiet moonlit cemetery. She was in her late thirties and very pretty with blonde hair. She walked slowly towards her destination. When she reached it, she knelt on the ground beside the tombstone and began to talk.

"Hi, it's me. I made it, just like always. I bet you were afraid I wasn't coming, but you should know me better than that. No matter what I have to do, I make sure that I can get here every year. I have to, for you." She smiled sadly and then continued to talk. "I miss you. Did you know that? It's been ten years today and yet... Sometimes, it still feels like I lost you yesterday."

She paused for a moment, conjuring an image of him in her mind.

"Do you know that I still think about all the plans we had, all the dreams?" She asked quietly, even though she knew he could never hear her. "Even now, I can't help remember the nights that we stayed up late just laying in bed, talking about our plans. We had so many."

She paused for a minute, just remembering. This was always so hard on her, but she couldn't bring herself to not come. Deep down inside, she still needed that connection with him.

"Sometimes I even wonder about what would have happened if we hadn't lost you. We'll never know for sure, I know that, but I believe that it would have been great." She confided softly. "But that doesn't mean I'm not happy, I am, it's just... It's not the same. It never is."

She looked down at her hands and at the wedding band that rested there. For a moment she thought about another ring, one that she would have worn if things had different. It was a long moment before she finally began talking again.

"I am happy, I know that that's what you would want. I think you'd even be happy that it's with him. It's strange, I know that, but... We both loved you and we both hurt so much when we lost you, I guess in the end that's what brought us together." She was quiet for a moment, thinking about her husband.

"I love him." She said finally. "Not like I loved you, I'll never love anyone like that again, but I do love him. And I know that wherever you are, you know that and that you're happy for me. That you'd want me to be happy. Even if it's not with you."

She smiled sadly. "I wonder if I'll ever stop wondering what we could have had. I guess not, since I haven't yet and I've been married six years with two beautiful children. Is it wrong? Is it wrong of me to think about you and about what we might have had if things had been different? It's not like I do it all the time, just once in a while."

Her voice was soft and a little wistful as she spoke. "I love you. Even after ten years, I still love you. I think I'll always love you, even if I love him too." She smiled sadly once more. "You know, the memories are still bittersweet. I mean, some of them are the nicest I'll ever have, but I still can't think if you without remembering how it was all taken away from me. But I'm trying to and I think I'm succeeding, day by day I live my life and I'm happy, and a little bit of the pain goes away. A little bit of it will always be there, it'll never go away completely, I know that. But in time, I think I'll be able to rememebr the happy times without thinking about what might have been."

She stood up then and gazed down at the headstone for a moment, lost in thought. Finally she took a deep breath and smiled sadly, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "I love you, Joshua Lyman."

Then, taking one last look, Donnatella Moss Seaborn turned and walked out of the cemetary.