You were the boy in the house next door who made me wish I'd never been born.
More accurately, that you'd never been born.

You were the boy with the stupid red shirt
And the stupid stuffed tiger
And your stupid clubhouse
That I was not allowed to enter.

You were the boy who brought snail sandwiches to lunch.

You were the boy who'd run off screaming during class.

You were the boy who'd always make me cry
Though I'd never admit it.

You were the boy I was sure would never grow up.

You were the boy who sent me dead flowers on Valentine's Day.

You were the boy I dearly wished would be my friend.

You were the boy who was always shorter than me
Until you got taller than me
And I wasn't sure what to think.

You were the boy who'd ring my doorbell
And hit me in the face with a snowball
And laugh like a hyena.

You were the boy who could write better
Than any other boy in our third grade class.
You got a ribbon for that story
Remember?

You were the boy who remembered my birthday
Even when no one else did
Even if your card was only a feeble construction paper attempt at a card.

You were the boy my mother warned me to stay away from
Because the last thing we needed
Was another 'him' running around.

You were the first one I broke the rules for.

You were the boy who taught me about snakes
And dinosaurs
And aliens.

You were the one who forced me to listen.

You were the boy who laughed when I asked you to the middle school dance.

You were the first boy I ever slapped.

You were the boy who'd throw spit balls at me during homeroom
And paper towel balls at me during science
And notes during English class.

You were the boy with the stupid blonde hair
And the stupid cocky smile
And the stupid blue bicycle
You finally learned to ride.

You were the boy who decided it was okay if we hung out
As long as no one else knew.

You were the boy who defended me when the other girls called me fat
And tried to show me I wasn't.
I really wasn't.
I just couldn't see it.

You were the boy who found out my secret.

You were the boy who called me late at night and told me he would never tell
And that we could work through it together.

You were the boy who'd sit next to me every lunch to make sure I'd eat
And teasingly offer me a bite of your spider pie
Which made me laugh
But only a little.

You were the boy who asked me to prom.

You were the boy I turned down.

You were the boy I changed my mind about going to prom with
When you came to my house in a tux
And told me you'd 'misunderstood' my answer.

You cocky bastard, you.

You were the boy my mother wasn't sure about
But my father liked.
He said you seemed like you had a good head on your shoulders.
I remember the time he called you a psychopath
When you were running around our backyard in a cape.
That was a long time ago…

You were the first boy I saw naked.

You were the boy who held me in your arms
Until we both fell asleep
In your small bed, while your parents were away.

You were the boy who told me you loved me.

You were the boy who no one thought would go to college
But they were wrong.
You graduated with better grades then I did.

You were the boy who called me every day
Who visited me every weekend
Who would always be there when I needed you
And I always needed you.

You were the boy with the stupid denim jacket
And the stupid silver earring
And the stupid diamond ring
Which you gave to me on your birthday
And said the only thing you really wanted this year
Was for me to say I'd marry you.

You were the boy my six year old self would have killed
And my twenty six year old self loved more than anyone in this world.

You were the boy who could no longer fit the stupid red shirt
And no longer carried around the stupid stuffed tiger
And would probably break the stupid clubhouse
That you eventually let me enter
On more than one occasion.

And now you stand there
In your stupid new tux
With your stupid black tie
And that stupid look on your face
That I used to hate so much
But god, you're so handsome now.
And when did you get so tall…?

You were the boy I hated
I liked
I loved.

So say it, Calvin.
Say 'I do',
And make me cry again.

I promise I'll forgive you this time.