Is it so hard to die Author's note : It's Cedric, he's dead. Duh. But he's talking as a dead here. He reflects on the fact that everyone seems to think that he's great, and all. Wa, it's 11:16, I'll just post that.

Disclaimer : I own nothing.

Is it so hard to die ?
by Heir of Darkness

I've always wanted to be someone. My father was so proud of me, of anything I did. Really anything. But I know that the moment he really burst out from glee was when I won this Quidditch match over the Gryffindors. Over Harry Potter himself. He was literally shouting with joy when he learnt it. But it was nothing much. The field had been invaded by Dementors, and I would like to have seen him trying to catch the Snitch when he could hear his mother crying and begging for his life, and being unable to help it. I did do nothing hard. Just stupidly taking advantage of the enemy's weakness. And that was what he was proud of. Blinded by the pride, by the fact that his son, his son had won a match against the Boy who Lived.

Inside, I was remorseful. Why did I do that ? I tried to have the match replayed, but no one would listen. I wasn't sharing my House's triumph. It was too easy. Too easy. It just didn't flow with my habits and goals as a true Hufflepuff. Loyalty, and hard-work. Winning this game while the other team's Seeker was barely able to stay onto his broom from the shock of the emotions over-helming, I considered as treachery and tricking. It didn't fit me to look cunning and calculating. I wasn't. Just impulsive, I couldn't help resist the temptation, seeing the Snitch wandering about at three feet from me, and the other one not being even in sight. I didn't think twice, and went for it. So unfair. It was. Of me. A Hufflepuff. I fell like I've betrayed my House, they've always seen me as their hero, and they still do. How much do I deserve it ?

Well, that's an old story. It all happened in sixth year, and you see, I still haven't forgotten. How could I, it was one of the biggest thing I did wrong in my life ! I just failed myself. No, nothing but that. You say, nothing much to worry about, huh ? Riiiight. I see that we're apparently not willing to hold up to the same standards, are we ?

Well, today I listen to what they say, and they are words of regret and respect. And admiration from the younger students. Not what I wanted. Well, not exactly the way I had wanted to gain them. I wanted to be someone, to be remembered, but after doing something, damn it ! Oh, of course, when I heard my name coming out of that Goblet, I just can't describe the rush of bliss and happiness I felt. At last, they were going to see, what I was really worth ! And perhaps Cho Chang would eventually notice me.

But what good did come out of it ? Nothing. Now I DO have recognition, but not to my real value. I've done nothing to prove the world I was worth it. What ? I did ? What did I do ? I died. Oh, that's a hard thing. I remember the Potter case, when I was only three. There was this guy, named Pettigrew, who really went up to a Death Eater and shouted at him. That's what I call being suicidal. How could I have known, that I was going to go through almost exactly the same thing ? Such a waste. I really wanted to do something out of my life, and it ended just so abruptly, like that. Cut of. My last thought before falling was, if I remember well, "Just like this Pettigrew guy." And then I was here, not having really understood what happened. Oh, it was all explained to me. Killed off by a Death Eater. Nothing less, nothing more. Harsh, cutting, however so explicit words. And all I found as an excuse for an answer had been "Oh." Well that's what I call eloquence. It's so unfair. So unfair for me. Was I given a chance ? Oh noooo, it was like that, it was my fate, to have my name being admired and respected among the others that deserve it thousands times more than I do. Oh, well. I'm not going to complain now, am I ? I'm going to be remembered in the wizarding world, as someone who sacrificed himself for a good cause. The only problem is that I didn't even know I was going to die before the last moment.

Well, I guess it couldn't be helped. That's destiny, it strikes you when you last expect it.

I'm boring you to death, aren't I ? Ok, I'll stop bothering you with my rambling now, you can go back to what you've been doing before I came in. At last now you know what I feel like. Bye, and see you in the above.