Title: Indecision
(1)
Author: Yih
Written: May 2001
Disclaimer: All
rights are Gainax Inc.
1-1: The Association (Which Does Not Imply Causation) ß
still totally on my Statistics theme ^^;;
"BAKA!"
"BAKA!"
"BAKA!"
"Shinji?" murmured Rei softly. "She is calling you."
He lifted his head off of his pillow and glanced to where
Rei was sitting on the edge of his bed.
He studied her with an intensity often seen on his face now. Rei hadn't changed very much,
physically. She had grown to resemble
his okaasan even more so now than she had then. But she still look like the Rei he had always known, and it was
comforting to him after so much had changed--that she was still the same. If anything, he liked her better now than he
had then. She had grown more open in
the years, interacting more with him.
He found pleasure in her company.
"Shinji?"
"Hai?"
"She is calling you.
Asuka."
"She doesn't want me," he responded. "She wants him."
Rei knew without asking who the 'him' was. Who didn't know? Asuka had been drooling about Kaji since she had come to Japan
four long years ago. Now, that he had
finally summoned the courage to ask Misato to marry him, Asuka seemed even more
volatile than before. She wished she
knew what made the second children so emotional. She, herself, wished she could be that expressive. But she knew it wasn't in her. She was who she was; there was no changing
that.
"You do not know that."
"I know," he said confidently. "I've been living with her three years more than you have."
A glimmer of a smile appeared on her lips as she remembered
the day she had first come to live with Misato, Shinji, and Asuka. She didn't really mind living with Misato;
she didn't particularly want to live with Asuka; but she did want to live with
Shinji. When Ikari-shirei had come to
her, to offer her a chance to live in one of three choices: with Misato,
Ritsuko, or Maya, she knew it would have to be Misato. She wanted to be around Shinji; she enjoyed
being with her. If--if Ikari-shirei had
offered his place, she might have chosen it.
She didn't know whose company she really prefered.
"I think she wants you," Rei offered him her opinion.
It was rare for her to ever give her thoughts on
something. Rei more often than not
didn't speak, and when she did speak, it was usually just to make a
statement. It was with these thoughts
that Shinji knew he would have to consider what she said. Rei wasn't the type of person to say
something that was without truth or meaningful in its own way. If anything, Rei was a truly honest person
because she wasn't filled with an emotional outlook or anything to gain by
lying. She was rational thinking at its
best.
"BAKA!" Asuka screamed again.
"You should go to her."
He really didn't know why Asuka provoke Rei to say so
much. When he wanted to get into a
conversation with her, she would say 'hai' or 'lie,' and that would be
all. But whenever Asuka was screaming
at him to come to her beck and call or even when she did it for the hell of it,
Rei told him to do yield to her. And he
would do it, for Rei. He found it
satisfying to listen to Rei. It was
like she was his mother.
When he had discovered more than three years ago that Rei
was made of his mother's DNA, it made him feel ugly for having abnormal
feelings for her. He had since shaken
that off, and he had found that while Rei may have had his mother's genes, she
wasn't really his mother. They were two
completely different people on the outside.
It was wrong to think of Rei as his mother.
"BAKA!"
He really didn't understand Asuka's continual need to scream
at him almost every morning. It was so
expected that he had become quite good at ignoring her until Rei told him that
he should just go to her. He wondered
himself if Rei did it so that the loud racket would stop. It undoubtedly upsetted Rei, who was use to
a quietness because of years of living by herself. He wondered if she missed living by herself. Life with Asuka and Misato was hardly the
peace she had once had with the solitude of her old apartment.
"BA--"
"I'm coming!" he said abruptly, cutting Asuka off.
"Make me breakfast right now!" she exclaimed sharply. "I'm ravenous!"
He wish he had the courage to tell Asuka in her face that he
wasn't going to make breakfast for her like her 'house maid' anymore. However, he lacked the bravery to do that. He didn't like to admit it, but she could
still scare him to death, even after all this time. He liked to think he had more of a backbone now than he had then,
but truthfully though, Asuka had mellowed out slightly in the years. He hadn't really changed all that much.
"What would you like for breakfast?" he asked, hating
himself for giving into her for the millionth, or was it the billionth
time? He decided he had long ago lost
count after knowing her for the first week of her permanent stay in Japan. Though, he did think he was giving in less
now than he use to, or at least he'd like to think he was.
"Noodles!"
"What would you like, Rei?" he inquired, climbing out of his
bed.
Asuka slid his door open, shaking the fragile frame. "Wonder girl, doesn't care does she? She'll eat whatever I want, right?"
"What would you like?" he asked again.
Rei glanced from the unusually awaken Asuka and back to the
wrinkled Shinji. She shrugged and said
nothing. She had done enough talking
this morning, she decided. She got up
from Shinji's bed and walked passed Asuka.
She had her own chores to do this morning. She had to make her bed, brush her hair and teeth, and get
dressed for school. It was enough to
keep her out of Asuka's way until she had to eat with breakfast.
"Why is it that she never talks to me?!"
Shinji would have liked to tell her that it was because she
was so brutally rude to Rei. He wanted
to know why Asuka treated Rei so poorly, but then again, she showed him the
same courtesy. He gave her the same
answer as Rei; he shrugged his head. It
was too early in the morning to get into a losing argument with her. He never seemed to be able to beat her in
anything try as he might. It really was
hopeless.
"Answer me!" she commanded him.
"What do you want me to answer?" he queried, knowing that he
would probably be slapped.
"Oh! Nevermind! Just cook the noodles before I starve to death! Go!
Go to the kitchen!"
Shinji stared at her retreating figure in amazement. He never thought Asuka would ever backdown
from anything. He supposed that it was
a first. He didn't get to enjoy the
feeling very long because Pen-pen agreed with Asuka. It was time to eat. Only
Pen-pen couldn't tell him in words, the penguin settled for poking at Shinji's
shins. Everyone had too easy of a time
bossing him around. Even the bird that
couldn't fly!
He grumbled mentally to himself before getting out the
necessary ingredients to make the simple noodle dish. He was reminded by another peck that Pen-pen was not the only
famished one in the house. Shinji took
out Pen-pen's food and warmed it up before setting it in his dish. It wasn't long before Pen-pen had polished
off his meal and was happily snoozing on the couch for his daily nap after
breakfast.
Shinji had just finished breakfast when Rei came out and
offered to help him. She was putting
the food on the table when Asuka knocked her to the side and scarfed down the
noodles. Shinji shook his head, Asuka
was really hungry this morning. He
almost smiled at her antics. He
couldn't help bit like her enthusiasm or her fieriness. He didn't even really mind her when she was
beating up on him. She was the same
Asuka as always.
He seated himself in between Asuka and Rei, helping himself
to the food he had just cooked. He
frowned when he saw a pair of underwear of both men's and women's right in his
line of vision. It was too late to
shove them out of Asuka's view. He
swallowed with some difficulty, wondering how she would react to the blatant
example of Misato and Kaji's relationship with each other.
"I guess they were at it again," Asuka muttered lamely.
"I guess so," Shinji responded pathetically.
"Do they do it more or is it just me?" she asked with an
edge of anger in her voice.
"No, it isn't just you," he answered.
"Would you please move those--those things off the table!"
"Me?"
"Yes! You! Who else?" she yelled.
"Uh--"
"I don't care if you get a nosebleed, get it out of my
sight! Or else I'll give you something
worse than a nosebleed!" she threatened menacingly
Shinji just couldn't do it.
Luckily, he didn't have to. Rei
obliged both of them, to their surprise by pushing the boxer and panties onto
the floor. She nodded to both of them
pleasantly and sat back down in her seat.
Shinji and Asuka continued to stare at her in shock. She blinked at them once before continuing
to eat her meal. She didn't understand
what was so strange about her actions.
She just did what she did so Asuka wouldn't punish Shinji. She really didn't like to see Shinji get
hurt. Besides, it was such a simple
thing to do.
"Arigato," Shinji murmured.
Rei nodded. She
finished the rest of her breakfast. She
took the bowl and chopsticks and set them into the sink. Then, she walked to her room to get her supplies
and books for school.
"Wonder girl really has changed," Asuka commented.
Shinji knew it was better not to say anything. He knew even the slightest thing would set
her off. He didn't really blame her
either. He would to be if he felt the
way she had felt for Kaji. He thought
it would be better if he just sat in companionable silence with her. Maybe then he could escape to school without
setting off the anger that was waiting to burst. She hadn't been screaming 'baka' out early just for the fun of
it.
"What are you staring at, baka?" she asked in a biting
tone.
"Uh--" He was sso
sure he was going to die. He hated
himself for feeling this way. He told
himself over and over that he shouldn't be scared of Asuka. It was irrational, but it seemed that he
couldn't stop feeling that way. He had
long ago accepted he was a coward. Nothing
was going to change that. He searched
through his mind in a panic on how to answer Asuka in a way that would not direct
her anger to him. "No--nothing."
"Are you sure?"
"Y--yes."
"Stop stuttering!
You're going to make us late for school! Hurry up and clean the dishes!"
Shinji stared at Asuka's back with slight resentment. He would like to know why she had to treat
everyone like dirt. He still liked her,
and he supposed he must not really mind her treating him like that if he still
liked her. He still would like to be
treated decently once in a while. But
that was too much of a hope. He sighed
and gathered up his and Asuka's dishes, putting them with Rei's. He washed them as he always washed
them. He put them up in their place,
and he went to his room to get ready for school.
He could tell it was going to be a long day.
Side Note: This storyline is based after 3I, if you
couldn't tell. And for the first time,
it features "Rei" in a big way. I would
like to write a Shinji x Rei fic, but I'll keep it open-ended for a while. Shinji, Rei, and Asuka are 18. ^^;;, explanations later. (pounds my head into the wall: I'm way too
into 3I fics, though they are totally different eek!)
Author's Note: I guess you could call it my "rewrite"
of The Right Words to Say. Face it, I'm
never going to finish Rightwords; I probably won't get around to putting the
ending to ILYA for a few weeks or a few months (2 chapters to go). And if anything, this will be a traditional
WAFF. This isn't the story that I will
try not to put too much of my literary curiosity into. I'll leave that to SD1 (which I'm working on
Chapter 3). Haven't gotten to chapter 2
on this one, and frankly I'm not worried out it. If you guys like it, I'll write more when I want to. If you don't, I'll leave it on the shelf for
a few more months and work on more promising projects (namely original short
stories). (took me 2 months to write
Chapter 2 of SD1). Enjoy.
