Self-challenge ficlet; Requisite line: "Personally, I don't see why I have to take it twice daily."

Notes: Gave up on the time limit; I didn't really set one for myself, anyway. Written kind of late, but I think I like the way it turned out, especially considering the requisite line I had to work with. Written for Katy, my darling muse who sets challenges that are almost impossible. Just be glad I wormed my way out of having to use the line "Good God, is it supposed to squirm like that?"

Let me know what you think, please!

P.S.: I know you don't "take" Mako (or at least I don't think you do). Call it poetic license and ignore any of my misconceptions; I was trying to make the line fit.

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"General? General, are you there? Hello-o, General?"

Sephiroth resisted the urge to hurl the intercom against the nearest wall, thereby smashing the infernal device. The nasal voice issuing from its speaker had interrupted him in the middle of reviewing a case brought against one of his SOLDIERs who was accused of absence without leave from duty. He had been in the middle of penning his name to approve the prosecution when the intercom clicked on, sending his pen skittering across the page.

Rummaging through his desk for ink with which to white out the error, he snapped sharply, "What is it?"

Praying that The General – capital 'T', capital 'G' – wasn't in the mood to skewer her, the secretary hurried on, "Sir, the Intermediate Level Materia Mastery instructor has requested your presence immediately at his current lesson."

Sephiroth growled. He did not have time to babysit the new SOLDIERs. "Tell him to get Lieutenant Zack if a bunch of green recruits are giving him a problem."

On the other line, a pause, followed by some rustling, low murmuring, and further rustling. Sephiroth resisted the urge to bang his head off the desk; he resolved to threaten Rufus into getting him a more competent secretary.

After another long pause, the nasal voice returned. "Sir, I believe the problem is Lieutenant Zack. The instructor requires your presence because it seems that the Lieutenant is attempting to kill a large number of the new recruits."

Scowling, Sephiroth snatched the Masamune down from its brackets on the wall, failing to give his secretary further notice before he stormed out of his office. She was still leaning over the intercom when he stalked into the reception area, black coat and silver tresses flying in an impressive display of fury. She jumped back abruptly and smiled nervously, trying to edge her way back against the wall, presumably to be as far away as possible from the six-foot long sword he wielded effortlessly.

Shin-Ra executive offices were fairly high up in the building, but Sephiroth made his home away from home closer to the training rooms and grounds. He stalked down three flights of stairs after putting two elevators out of service; they did not arrive at his floor as promptly as he would have liked. Distantly he also resolved to get a private elevator out of President Shinra, one way or another. Preferably another; he would give anything for the slightest reason to skewer the fat, pompous bastard.

At any rate, it did not take Sephiroth long to find the Intermediate Materia class. The lesson had been very obviously interrupted by the whirlwind that was Zack. Evidently he had managed to disrupt all other classes going on simultaneously, as there were several training masters currently holding him back from hurling himself at a terrified group of SOLDIERs Second Class huddling in the corner. Scanning the room in that cold way of his, he saw another anomaly: a red-haired nurse in the corner with a small, wiry blonde kid.

Sephiroth sighed and decided to attend to the straining instructors first. The Buster Sword lay forgotten several feet from the huddled group of teenagers, and Zack was striving to get to them. When Sephiroth entered the chamber, silence fell over the room. Attempting to keep his expression serious, The General strode over to his First Lieutenant and the masters, who let go of the SOLDIER First Class so they could all stand at attention.

"Zachary," Sephiroth stated solemnly. "We have a problem. You can't continue trying to kill the recruits."

Zack grinned cheekily at him. "It's under control, Boss. They learned their lesson. Right, boys?" Dark eyes flashed as Zack turned slightly to look at the clustered mass, out of which came a jumbled, assertive reply. Smiling, Zack turned back to his superior, adding, "See? All under control."

Rolling his eyes, Sephiroth grabbed Zack by the arm and shoved him towards the door, hauling Masamune over his shoulder. "My office. Now." Zack hurriedly snatched up the Buster Sword before strolling out of the room, whistling to himself. Sephiroth shook his head before turning towards the blonde kid with the nurse. "Cadet Strife!"

Cloud Strife looked up, azure eyes wide at being addressed in so public a place by The General. "Yes, sir?"

"To my office ASAP."

Cloud nodded. "Yes, sir!"

Nodding to himself, Sephiroth left without another word, waiting for the bellow of the training instructor bawling out his recruits before he headed back upstairs. He sighed exasperatedly when he entered his reception room; his secretary was tormenting Zack again.

"Violet," he growled, aqua eyes flaring, "you are to let Lieutenant Zachary into my office any time he happens by here, whether I am in or not. Chances are I have sent him. Understand?"

As his last word was more of a roar than a snarl, the terrified secretary nodded and offered a meek apology to Zack. Whistling cheerfully again, he winked broadly at her before strolling into the office ahead of his senior officer, taking a seat on the edge of Sephiroth's desk. Striding past him, The General fell into his leather executive chair, completely and wholly exasperated with the situation.

"Do you mind telling me why you saw fit to beat the crap out of a bunch of unwitting SOLDIERs Second Class?"

Zack shrugged unconcernedly, lifting a paperweight and tossing it up towards the ceiling. "They were picking on the little guy again. You know I can't stand it when the training instructors let groups of these punks beat on Cloud."

"He has to learn to defend himself if he wants to get anywhere in SOLDIER, Zack."

"They broke his arm, Seph!" Zack protested in earnest now. "How's he supposed to protect himself if his arm is broken, eh?" When Sephiroth sighed, Zack carried on, "Besides, we both have a soft spot for the kid. You can't ask me to stand by and watch as a bunch of cowardly punks beat on that cute face."

Sephiroth sighed again and shook his head. He closed his eyes and pressed the heels of his palms to closed lids; this business was giving him something of a headache. "Cute but exceedingly naïve. All right, Zack, you can get out of here."

About to comply, Zack set the paperweight back on the desk and rose to leave. Pausing, he reconsidered and asked hesitantly, "Didn't you invite Cloud up here?"

"Ordered it is more like it," Sephiroth replied absently, his mind already on other things. He still had to figure out how to fix that ink spot on the AWOL report, and he would have to deal with Cloud…

Zack took a seat on Sephiroth's sofa, which gained him a speculative glance and a raised silver eyebrow. He shrugged. "If the kid's coming here, then I'm staying. I can't leave you alone with him." His smile was altogether insolent.

Sephiroth opened his mouth to reply when Violet's voice carried over the intercom, distracting and annoying as usual. "Sir? Cadet… what's your name, kid? Cloud? Like clouds in the sky above the plate? What kind of n… is this thing on? Oh dear! Sir, Cadet Cloud Strife is here to see you. He says you asked him to come." There was muffled shouting coming over the intercom and indeed through the door; no doubt Cloud asserting his case.

"Send him in, Violet!" Sephiroth shouted, his patience for the secretary evaporating with this last stunt.

"Yes, sir, right away, sir!"

Cloud appeared in the doorway moments later, his arm loosely in a sling and an abashed look on his face. Zack got up and slammed the door on the nosy secretary, pulling Cloud further into the room. At least the cadet had the grace to look embarrassed. Zack made himself at home on the sofa again before pulling Cloud down with him, who blushed a faint rosy color at all the attention from the older man.

"Is your arm broken?" Sephiroth gestured with his pen, bristling inside with the same indignation that set Zack on the recruits. Cloud just looked too young and pathetic all covered in painful-looking bruises. "Are you getting Mako treatment?"

Cloud shook his arm a little, sliding it out of the sling. "It's not broken… it doesn't even really hurt all that much. But yeah, they're making me get Mako treatments to heal it." Cloud sighed wistfully and added, "Personally, I don't see why I have to take it twice daily."

Zack looked appalled at this statement, and Sephiroth could see the cogs churning in his friend's mind as he reviewed every possible meaning behind Cloud's statement. He returned as fast as possible to reading the report; from Cloud's sudden squeak from across the room, he could tell he would not be getting much more work done; Zack and Cloud would make sure of that.