LOL ... Sallie challenged me to write a fic with the following:


People: Team Rocket (any of em),

Pace: Bermuda triangle

must include two of these (or more):

Pink elepahnt
Feather boa
Scented candle
A brick

Someone must any one of these things (or more):
"I didn't expect it to be that sticky!" or
"Whoooooaaaaaaaaaa.... duuuuudeeeee!"
or
"You look like David Bowie on a bad day."

~*~*~*~*~
SO HERE IT IS!
~*~*~*~*~
Title: Blueberry
Author: AUDREY! HEHEH
Disclaimer: Yop, own no one, yop yop ..
Summary: LOL ... read Sallie's challenge, and you shall see ^^;;
Dedication: Sallie Rocket, who challenged me to write this!
Note: See, I didn't make James gay, so NYAH! I am insane ...
~*~*~*~*~

"Oh, Jessie, I'm so excited!"

I looked up from my cheap romance novel. James looked absolutely enthralled.

Not good.

"That's nice, James," I said quickly, hoping his attention span would collapse.

"Don't you want to know what I'm excited about?"

"If you must tell me."

"Well, since we're kind of pressed for money right now ... I got a job in Bermuda! Think of it, Jess, livin' right on a point of the Bermuda Triangle! Isn't it grand?"

"... Bermuda?" I shuddered.

Meowth chose to ask the unevitable question: "What kind of job?"

"Drag Queen! Isn't that great?!"

There were a few uncomfortable minutes of silence, before I finally threw down my novel and slapped James across the cheek.

"James, what do you think you're DOING?! Only gay guys get jobs like that!"

"And she should know you're not gay," Meowth whistled.

"Well, I enjoy wearing women's clothing," James pouted. "Besides, Jess ... aren't you sick of chasing that dumb old Pikachu? Wouldn't life in Bermuda be so much more ... exciting?"

...

~*~*~*~*~

Three weeks later, I was backstage at the Cafe Ole club. It looked like some place you would find Ricky Ricardo in a twisted dimension. It was James' fourth night performing, and he begged Meowth and me to come and watch. I had refused up until now ... the whole idea simply scared me ...

"Ooh, Jessie, come into the Green Room! I want you to meet some of my friends!" James grabbed my arm and proceeded to drag me down the backstage hall. That hall was a nightmare in itself. It was painted with all sorts of weird, abstract drawings that made absolutely no sense. It was frightening being surrounded by huge painted china dolls and pink elephants, that seemed to just stare endlessly into your soul ...

"Here we are, Jess! I want you to meet my new best friends!" James giggled.

Meowth screamed.

"Ooh, a kitty!" Some random dude ran over and began to pet Meowth. He proceeded to scream again.

"Meowth, Jessie, I would like you to meet Dale. He's really funny," James smiled.

"Oh, James, you're such a scream!" Dale did that weird hand thing that all gay guys do. "Say James, do you think your friends would like to watch us put on our makeup?"

"They'd love to!"

With that, James dragged me into the dressing room. Apparently, no one saw any problem with me being in there because, after all ... James was the only straight one ...

James and Dale dove headfirst into a big kaboodle of makeup, giggling wildly. I think poor Meowth was already scarred for life.

"Ooh, Pink Passion lipstick!" James squealed, then put some on. "How do I look, Jessie?"

"You look like David Bowie on a bad day."

"Ooohh!!!"

" ... That wasn't a compliment, James."

He didn't hear me, however. He and his little gay friend were rumaging through costumes now. James hopped out in a gold sparkly leotard and a big, black feather boa.

"Do I still look like David Bowie?"

I shook my head sadly.

"Hey James, you wanna see something REALLY special?" Dale asked, and James nodded happily. "Alrighty, let's sneak behind this curtain here, and then we'll surprise your friends with a whole new outfit!"

They were behind that curtain for a long time. I kept hearing very random phrases and lots of hushed giggling. Mostly stuff like, "God, I feel just like Tina Turner!" and "Whoooooaaaaaaaaaa.... duuuuudeeeee!". It was when I heard "I didn't expect it to be that sticky!" that Meowth fainted.

Poor thing.

Finally, they jumped out with a loud "TADA!"

They were dressed like a cross between Brittney Spears and someone from Destiny's Child. It was so scary. God, it was scary ...

~*~*~*~*~

I woke up to the smell of blueberry.

"Jess! Are you alright?" James was standing above me, blinking down at me behind his fake eyelashes. He still had on that Brittney Spears/Destiny's Child outfit ...

~*~*~*~*~

I again woke up to the smell of blueberry. James was sitting above me, in normal clothes.

"Aw, Jess ... you missed my show! Oh well, I hope you're feeling better now! Meowth, too, for that matter ... he's asleep in a basket somewhere. Ooh, smell that blueberry! I just love those scented canfles Dale buys!"

"James ... what happened ...?"

"Ooh, well, they're doing some construction upstairs, and a brick fell through the ceiling and hit you on the head! You were passed out for a while, then you woke up, but then you passed out again ... I don't know what made you pass out the second time. Oh well!"

I shuddered. "James, please let me leave this place. Let's move away from Bermuda. Please?"

"Oh, I guess so. But first, you just absolutely have to see this new nail polish Dale bought me! Oh, by the way ... we're wearing a costume that requires the use of a black bra, and I know you have one, so ... do you think we could wear the same size? I could wear a C cup, at least!"

And that was when the room went black once more ...