This has two meanings. The first thing is Harry may have thought of this once or twice along his time. being done and tierd. but he found his grounds and fumes. the 2nd this is just how im feeling right now. I feel like this is better than any Fanfiction writing i've done. even if 'ive only posted like A single chapter on this website. I just wanted for people out there to know that its ok to be upset and down every once in a' while. I mean life and emotions happen right? another thing. this is a raw piece im writing it as all my emotions are going around my mind so no, there is no grammar. im sorry about that. if you wish you can help me fix it. but for now it is how it is.
...I do not own Harry Potter that would all be JKR. thank you for letting me poor my soul out .
Being done is like having the last cup of coffee. People will look and cry about it then go on the way to bitch more and not do anything about it. But then there are people who use the grounds from that coffee and muster up something to push on. To push to get that job, to get that goal of theirs. But, what happens when the grounds are gone….what happens when all the fumes that the gas tank was running on are gone. When the motivation you had is gone. When your support system is now scattered across the whole damn world? When the people who are by you and say that they will always be there for you just leave you to hang out with each other and leave you to sit and look from the side line at the fun that they are having than come back and say "next time you'll need to go" but know in your head that you will never get to go because there wont be a 'next time' that is what im feeling right now. So tired that I don't want to push so tired that I don't want to even attempt to find more grounds or fumes. But I have to. For my kids. The two who count on me all the time. For my son who love to cuddle into my side. For my daughter who is taking her first steps. For my mom who lost people to their demons. For my daddy who should never have to bury another daughter. For my sisters because I know that they both love me and only want the best. But also for me. So that I can say to myself when the sun is out and everything is better in about five years, 'see you are strong, you are brave, you can withstand everything. But right now right now I don't have that strength in my body I don't have any of that right now I have tears down my face and thoughts in my mind. Thoughts and feelings that are mashing together so fast I don't even know how to label them or sort them. Right now I just want one friend. One who I can poor my soul to. But I don't have a flesh and blood friend for that. I have you all. The people on the other side of this screen. That's who I have right now I guess. If anyone even reads this. For now. Im down. Tomorrow ill be back to finding coffee grounds and gas fumes..