"What if it's me?" says Mack, Haymitch's younger brother.
"It won't be you Mack" Haymitch replies whilst sipping on porridge around the kitchen table.
"It could be me. It could be you. In fact, it could be both of us... together."
"Let's not think like that" Their mother says whilst bringing in a tub of water. Mack looks up over his bowl at his brother. Haymitch eyes him back for a second, quickly wondering what he would do if that did happen. What would happen if he and his thirteen year old brother were reaped for The Hunger Games. But not just any Hunger Games, the Quarter Quell Hunger Games. Double the amount of tributes. Haymitch figures he doesn't know what would happen. They both finish the rest of their morning meal in silence.
"Hurry both of you, you don't want to be late for school" Mother persists. Both the boys get up and kiss their mum goodbye as the leave for school.
But school drags that day. Haymitch can't stop thinking about the reaping. He's been through the process four times before but he can't stop wondering what will happen. This year feels different. He doesn't pay attention in class and he barely listens to what his friends have to stay until the end of the day when one friend says, "Haymitch, Tansy's waiting for you."
Haymitch looks up immediately and sees her. A sight for sore eyes. Her long brown hair, her sparkling blue eyes. She waves and smiles widely. The world has stopped and all he can see and think about is Tansy.
He walks up to her, hugs her and whispers in her ear, "I've missed you"
"It's only been a day, silly" She laughs back as she hugs him too.
"Come on, let's go." He takes her hand and they run. They run and giggle and talk until they can't remember how they got to the place they are. So they sit under a tree and they giggle and they talk until the sun begins to set and they can't remember how long they've been out enjoying each other's company. The fog that's been clearing Haymitch's mind all day seems to clear until one question slips past Tansy's lips.
"Tomorrow's the day, huh?" Tansy asks, as she rests her head on Haymitch's shoulder.
"Yeah, I was trying not to think of that" He replies as he plays with the grass between his fingers.
"Are you scared in case it's you?"
"No" Haymitch says, he turns his head and looks the other way.
"Then what's bothering you?" Tansy's asks, raising her head to face him but he just shakes his head as if to shake the question off too.
"Haymitch, what's the matter?"
"It's just... I hate to think like this but... what if it's you? I'm ruined. For Mack, I could volunteer but for you, I'm forced to watch from the sidelines. Hopeless to help and I can't physically go through that pain, Tansy. You're my weakness; I'm not strong enough when it comes to you" by this point Haymitch is looking directly at her. Trying to find a flicker of hope in her eyes but deep down, he knows she's thinking the same.
"Haymitch, I-"She breaks off, trying to figure out the right words to say. "I wonder about things like that too, but, you can't think like that. There are a couple hundred kids in that reaping bowl. The odds aren't that bad. Just... just don't worry because whatever happens, I love you-"She places a hand on his cheek. "-and promise me when I say this, nothing else matters. I love you."
She's never said that before. He's never said that before. Haymitch bows his head down so their foreheads meet.
"I love you, too and I promise, that nothing else matters." He replies. They both close their eyes to absorb every second of this moment. Then he reaches down a little further so their lips meet. She brushes her lips against his and suddenly Haymitch realises what she means when Tansy says nothing else matters.
The couple stay together for an hour or so longer while they watch the sun set completely. Then Haymitch walks Tansy home but they don't run home, they don't giggle, they just talk.
The next morning, Haymitch wakes to find a clean white shirt and smart pants laid out for him to wear. He put the clothes on and looks in the mirror. His reflection doesn't look like the handsome, young Haymitch Abernathy today. He just looks like a stranger staring back. Blank expression but on the inside, he's breaking down. Mack wears smart clothing too and they eat their morning meal in silence just like the day before.
It's not before long until mother says, "Time to go boys." She looks worried to death. She always does on reaping day. Both her sons give her longer than usual hugs and they all leave together. Haymitch glances at Mack through the corner of his eye. Mack looks nervous but really, Haymitch knows he has nothing to worry about. At least he has someone to take his place.
The sun beats down on the dusty, dull place of District 12 and the lights and cameras are in place in front of the Justice Building. Merit Madison, the escort for District 12 stands in her Capitol clothes and make-up upon the stage. Merit doesn't seem so bad. She's not so over the top as other Capitol people.
Merit begins, "Welcome all to the 50th annual Hunger Games! The Quarter Quell is finally here! Now, let's skip the chit-chat and please, ladies and gentleman, let's reminds ourselves about the important message behind the reason we are here."
Then the video comes on like it does every year. Haymitch doesn't watch it, he watches the floor. But when the video ends, his heart starts to beat faster than it has ever before.
"Let's start with the ladies, shall we?" Merit says. The sound of her heels clipping over to the bowl sounds so loud to Haymitch that it's unbearable. He thinks about how somewhere in that bowl, there's slips with Tansy's name on. Merit picks one and smiles even though every single person in District 12 knows that this is nothing to smile about.
"Maysilee Donner" Merit Madison says the name but it doesn't decrease Haymitch's fear one bit. There's still another chance for everything to be ruined. The girl, Maysilee, Haymitch recognises her from school, she's the same age, but that's it. She walks up onto stage and noticeably swallows a lump in her throat. She looks far behind the crowd in deep thought of fear. She knows she has no chance. She knows she's going to die.
"Shall we have another?" Merit says in an all too enthusiastic voice. She practically runs over to the bowl and quickly picks up the top slip and after a big gasp of breath, she says,
"Ginette Hamel."
Haymitch sighs in relief out loud. He watches as this girl takes her place next to Maysilee on the stage. He thinks of Tansy and how she will be relieved too. She's free for certain, at least for another year.
"Great! Our two lovely girl tributes. Maysilee and Ginette. Now for the boys!" Merit says. As her hand slips inside the bowl Haymitch remembers. My name is in there, Mack's name is in there and before he can register what he just thought Merit Madison reads out the name.
"Haymitch Abernathy." The world stops. But not like when it stops when he sees Tansy. It stopped like he'd never felt before. It was Mack who brought him back to reality.
"HAYMITCH, NO!" He's shouting, protesting his brother's name. Squeezing through the crowd of teenage boys to try and reach him.
Haymitch gathers enough sense in his body to stop Mack before he does anything stupid, like volunteers. "Mack, be quiet, don't say another word. It's okay."
Haymitch walks up to the stage and turns to face the crowd. The lights shine brightly, directly in his eyes. He looks into the crowd. He sees his mother weeping holding on to Mack who's weeping too. He can't find Tansy in the crowd of girls. He wonders if she's crying. Haymitch is not scared of the games. He's scared of the pain those three people are going to feel watching him. He remembers how he explained to Tansy about how he'd feel broken if it were her. Now, his mother, brother and dearest sweetheart will feel that pain. That makes him hurt more. He hadn't paid attention to anything else until he and the other tributes were shoved into a room in the Justice Building.
"Maysilee, that left room please. Ginette, over there. Haymitch the room furthest right and Erik, come this way." Merit directs everyone into separate rooms. Haymitch guesses this is where everyone will say their final goodbyes. Just as he goes to step into his room, he looks round at the other boy tributes. He recognises him as one of Mack's friend. Erik Baliss. Thirteen years old and off to slaughter.
The room is elegant. Fancy tall chairs and cases holding a couple of books gathering dust. He picks up a small ornament from the desk and studies it in his hands. Everything is silent for a second.
"LET GO OF ME!"
A ruckus from outside sparks up suddenly. Haymitch knows that voice. But before he can question anything, Tansy comes bursting through the door. She doesn't even look at Haymitch. She bolts the door behind her as fast as she can before the peace-keepers can follow her in.
"Tansy, no, don't." Haymitch knows far too well that she will pay for this.
"No, Haymitch. I want to say goodbye. They wouldn't let me. They said family only. I ran, I had to. You'd do the same, you know you would." She says in a rushed voice.
"How did you even know where I am?"
"I didn't but as soon as they saw me, they guarded this door first." She runs into his arms before he can reply. Tansy knows that time is limited. The peace-keepers bang on the door, demanding entry.
Haymitch pulls away first. He doesn't know what to say. He hoped he wouldn't have to see her now so that the memories from the night before would be their last memories together.
"You can do this" She whispers. He turns away.
"No, Tansy. Chances are I probably won't come bac-"
"Don't think like that!" She interrupts.
"But in the end we have to. I'm not saying that I'm hopeless. I'm just making a point." He stops and sighs. He doesn't know what he's saying. It sounds like the peace-keepers are prying the door open and he feels like he's making things worse because at this point, Tansy is crying hysterically.
Haymitch turns and takes both of her hands.
"I will try to win. I will try. I promise." She can't reply. The peace-keepers have won and they take her away. She's reaching out. Screaming. Haymitch stands life-less. He's wasted what could have been the last time he will ever see her. The door slams shut and silence refills the room.
Nothing else matters, she said. Nothing else matters, he agreed.
Haymitch decides that those three words will be what his life will depends on. They will be his strength.
His time for goodbyes with his mother and brother were shortened from three minutes to two. This was the only punishment the peace-keepers could give him because he was going off to slaughter anyway. At least he was still allowed some time.
The two minutes went pretty quick. The three of them sat huddled together, holding on to every last moment. Mack had stopped crying but he still looked distraught. On the other hand, Haymitch's mother's eyes hadn't dried. Not many words were shared. There wasn't much to say.
Just as they were getting escorted out, Mack turned and said, "I believe in you" then he walked out. His mother nodded in agreement then passed Haymitch a yellow cotton handkerchief.
"This was your fathers. I've kept it all these years because he told me that it meant something special to him. He never told me what that special thing was. All I know is that he got it the day you were born. Use it as your good luck charm." She kissed his forehead and left before the tears started again.
Haymitch was left in silence for the third time today.
He clutches the handkerchief in his hands and then presses it against his lips. This handkerchief was definitely going in the arena with him. His father was a very smart man and he was known for it. Maybe intelligence is exactly what he needs as a skill in the arena.