"In the reason of King James ascension to the throne, it is of ultimate importance the presence of the Dauphin in the Court. God forbid anything to happen with His Majesty, but we need the first in the line of succession here at Court." Air is sucked out of her lungs as the words leave the mouth of one of the Lords at the throne room.
She knew that that moment was going to arrive, that as soon as her husband had been declared dead and her son ascended to the throne unmarried and childless, the line of succession would revert to Catherine de' Medici sons. Francis would become the Dauphin again and would be needed at court to take his position.
"Does anyone know his whereabouts?" She can hear her son ask the nobles but she's more focused on trying to breathe, as her corset suddenly seems too tight and the throne underneath her not enough to keep her body steady as should.
It's been sixteen years. Sixteen years that she decided she would rather keep him alive and hating her then having a few years together, of happiness and love, that at the end would cost his life.
"There are rumors about him living at a small village on the South, Your Grace." She hears another noble answer James and Mary, Queen of Scots and now Queen Mother of France, lets out a breathe she didn't know she was holding. Of course some of the nobles would be aware of his whereabouts, especially the ones who never agreed with Sebastian's ascension as King. But the thought of him living so close to the castle, not in Italy with his mother, as she had once wondered about, makes her heart ache.
"We can set up a search party, if you like, Your Grace." A third noble says and Mary finally turns to look at them, all gathered around James's throne, waiting for his decision. They might not have enjoyed Sebastian's ascension to the throne, but they learned to respect him. And to respect James. "My men can leave first thing in the morning if it is necessary."
"I don't believe this would be needed, Lord Besnard." James quickly turns to look at his mother from the throne beside hers and she smiles to his worried blue eyes, eyes that remind her of another man that once was supposed to sit beside her in that same throne room. "The Crown will be responsible for searching for the Dauphin and we will bring him back to Court as soon as possible." The nobles seem pleased with her answer and they bow as the Queen Mother excuse herself to retire to her chamber.
Her son watches her closely as she strangely walks out of the room and deep down he knows it has nothing to do with grief by his father's death.
~0~
He walks in into her chamber after dinner, a time when she usually is sitting by the fire reading or talking with his Aunt Jane. But not tonight.
"Mother?" He asks out loud as she's nowhere to be seen inside of her chamber. But as he notices the opened door of her balcony, he's now very sure of her location.
"Are the fireflies already here?" He asks her as he walks in the balcony. She has her back turned to him, her eyes focused on the meeting of the dark sky with the lake in front of the castle.
"They don't come till mid-June." She answers with her back still turned to him and it's just after a few moments that she turns to look at her son, a smile plastered on her face. But the smile is not enough to hide the red of her eyes.
"You would always sneak me out of my chambers when I was a child so we could chase them. Father would spend hours looking for us, but still, you wouldn't tell him where we were. You always said it was something to be kept between us." He can hear his mother gasp as he tells her that and he cannot help but slid his arm around her shoulder, her head leaning on his shoulder.
James is a sixteen year old boy, a man actually, as he now carries the burden of a country on his young shoulders, but he is taller than his own mother. The whole Court jokes of how he has inherited that from his father.
Mary knows deep in her heart how truth that statement really is.
"When I lived here at French Court by the time I was a child, I would always sneak out of my chambers at night to chase the fireflies." Mary turns into her son's embrace to look at him. "Every time I come out here memories of my childhood come back. And of yours as well."
"Did the mention of my uncle brought up more memories of your childhood?" James is direct in his question. That he has inherited from his mother.
"James." He might be the King of France and he might be taller than his mother, the Queen of Scotland. But that does not prevent him from earning a glare from her.
"You were engaged to him when you were children. You came from Scotland to live here to get close to him, to be his wife. I cannot imagine you not having good memories of your childhood with him."
"I have great memories of my childhood here, James." She smiles as she feels her throat tightening. "Your uncle and I had great memories here. You will like him a lot. He's a great a man and I'm sure he will help you a lot in your new role as a King."
"He was the one born and raised to be a King after all, wasn't he?" James smiles and Mary cannot hold the single tear that falls from her eye. Yes, he was the one born and raised to be a King. And she was the one to take all of that from him. "Oh God, I didn't mean to make you cry, Mother."
Suddenly mother and son have their positions changed. This time Mary is not the one to wipe seven-year-old James' tears as he had just felt from his pony. James is the one to wipe thirty-two-year-old Mary's tears as her world had just crumbled down.
"I have no idea of what happened in the past. But I love you, Mother." He whispers between her dark locks just like his. "With no conditions." And once again she is reminded of how much he looks like his father.
Without even trying.
~0~
As the search party prepares to leave in the next afternoon, Mary stands to say goodbye to her sister. Jane Stuart, the Queen's bastard sister, who has lived in France since James birth, is the one recruited especially by the Queen to deal directly with the Dauphin. Mary wouldn't bear the idea of common guards breaking the news to Francis, brutally telling him he should go back to the castle and take back his position of Dauphin.
She knows he has scars from the past.
She has her owns. With that, she cannot even imagine the depth of his.
"You remember what I told you last night, don't you?" James tells his mother as they watch the search party leave. Mary doesn't answer, the previously night a blur in her mind.
She knew she shouldn't have broken down like that in front of her son. What would he think of her?
"I love you, Mother." He tells her again and oh, she remembers. "No matter what." She smiles to him and for a second she wonders if his thoughts of her would change if he knew the truth.
~0~
The Dauphin of France is found three days later in a small village at South from the castle. Jane Stuart follows the directions given to her by the butcher of the village and ends up in the blacksmith's house. She knows she is in the right place.
The man inside of the house whitens as a woman dressed in regal clothes, followed by guards carrying the new King's coat of arms can be seen from his window. The woman knocks on his door and he knows he has to face them.
"Francis?" She wastes no time on asking him, but she actually doesn't have to. She thinks it's because her sister has described him to her so many times but actually it's not that.
It's because she has lived with this same face at court for the past sixteen years. But a younger version of it.
"That would be me." He nods and bows, pretending to not know who he is talking to.
He actually doesn't but he can see the resemblance.
"Please, I'm no royal." She smiles to him and he has to hold stronger at the wood door, as memories of that same smile come crushing at him. "My name is Jane Stuart, I'm Aunt of King James. I believe you heard about King Sebastian's death and King James' ascension."
"Of course I have." He politely smiles, the sound of King Sebastian being pronounced still odd at his ear. "The whole kingdom is celebrating."
"So I also believe you know King James does not have a wife or children yet." He nods and he knows what is to come. "Because of that, the line of succession reverts to Catherine de 'Medici sons with late King Henry. More specifically to Francis, their oldest son." She can see as he swallows hard. "I believe we have a lot to talk about."
~0~
The King of France and the Queen of Scotland stand close to the castle's gates, waiting for the carriage carrying the Dauphin to arrive. They are alone to receive him, under Francis' request to be received only by them.
"Did Aunt Jane mention if he was coming alone?" James finally has the face to ask the question that had been plaguing him for the past few days. He knew that his mother and his uncle had been way more than childhood playmates but as much as he has the courage to ask questions other people don't have, there are lines he knows he cannot cross.
Lines that had never been crossed before as the little he knows about his uncle comes from gossip of the nobility and the old servants.
He still remembers when he was seven and he first heard the name Francis being mentioned as his uncle. He still remembers his father swallowing hard and his mother gasping as he asked them who this Francis was.
"She didn't." Mary answers as she does not take her eyes off the gate. "But he probably has a family, a wife and kids of his own." She is able to pronounce the thoughts that have been plagued into her mind for the past days, but it doesn't make any easier to think about another woman in his arms.
"Perhaps not." James is so sure in his answer that Mary cannot help but turn to look at him. "Father always told me that some kinds of love cannot be erased. Nor replaced. It was the kind of love he had for you all those years even though yours for him wasn't like that." She tries to open her mouth to answer her son, oh, she tries to at least come up with something, but the noises of the gate opening make her turn to look at it and she is suddenly speechless.
The carriage stops a few meters away from mother and son and James delicately grabs his mother's hand, squeezing it as she takes a deep breath. They don't need words to understand each other and Mary is glad for it.
Jane is the first to get down from the carriage, a small smile in her face directed to her sister. Mary smiles back at her, a smile that quickly fades away as the next person descends from the carriage.
His body is large and his posture not as regal as years before. His blonde hair still messily adorns his face, now a little more tanned than before. His blue eyes do not shine as before but are still able to take her breath away.
Mary takes a deep breath as she waits for them to walk in hers and James' direction but once again air is sucked out of her lungs as Francis stands beside the door of the carriage to help someone to descend.
They are about six or seven years, Mary can tell, dressed in simple light blue dresses. The Queen waits for their mother to follow them out of the carriage but the door is closed after them and she feels everything too much.
"Your majesties." Jane courtesies in respect for her sister and her nephew as Francis stand beside her with the two shy little girls in front of him, who do not look into Mary's nor James' eyes.
Mary feels of their same age as she cannot bring herself to look into Francis' eyes.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Francis. I've always heard lots of good things about you." They shake hands as James lies because he has not heard lots of things about him.
His name has not left his father's mouth once in his life and the only moments he has ever heard his mother speaking about her old betrothed have been in these past few days.
The young King has to swallow hard as he thinks about his father Sebastian at the same time he looks into Francis' eyes. He feels like looking into the mirror. But a few years in the future.
"It's a pleasure to meet you too, your Majesty." His voice is way harsh them before but the way he speaks is just like Mary remembers. "Unfortunately I cannot say the same since the little I know about you comes from gossips from the village." Jane raises her eyebrows to her sister but Mary shakes her head lightly. He doesn't carry an ironic nor resentful tone. He's being sincere and Mary knows it has everything to do with the way Francis looks to James.
He knows. Of course he knows.
Everyone probably knows.
James now probably knows too.
And she knows, she has always known, that that is the reason why no one ever defied James' ascension to the throne.
"That won't be a problem, for sure. We will have plenty of time to talk." James smiles and before he can continue, he notices as Francis' eyes turn to look at Mary.
She's older but her beauty is still the same. Her dark locks look as soft as he remembers and she seems the whole Queen she wanted to be years ago. She's regal and her smile is still able to light up every place she is in.
"It is really good to see you, Francis." She smiles and he cannot help but smile back.
The world around them seems to fade away as they look into each other's eyes for the first time in sixteen years. It doesn't go unnoticed by the people around them.
"Queen Mary looks as beautiful as people say." The small whisper coming from a little below them is enough to take them out of their trance and before Francis can say anything, Mary has bent down at the level of the source of the voice, a bright smile in her face.
They are both blonde and blue eyed, hair and eye an exact copy of the man who holds them so dearly close to his body, shielding them from any harm that could come. She notices as his hold gets lighter around them as she approaches. She doesn't mean any harm.
"Hello." Mary says as one of the girls hides herself behind her father's hand and the other, less shy, bow to her.
"Hello, Queen Mary." She's gracious, beautiful, and Mary can point the exact features she has inherited from her father.
She's exactly like Mary once wondered how hers and Francis' daughters would be. With the exception that they would be half hers.
"These are my daughters." Francis explains as if he even needed and Mary doesn't take her eyes off of the little girl. "Mary and Catherine." As the words leave his mouth Mary is glad for the hand her son puts in her shoulder, supporting her.
He has named one of his daughters after her.
Like he named the other after his mother.
After all she did to him, after taking his life off of him, he still has her as high as his mother.
"Hello, Catherine." Mary smiles to the one hiding behind Francis and he encourages her to give a step forward.
"Hello, Your Majesty." Her voice is nothing but a whisper as Mary notices she looks even more like Francis.
"There's no need for you to call me Your Majesty. I'm just Mary for you." Both the girls smile to the Queen as Francis does the same, remembering of a time she was just Mary for him too.
~0~
"Your Majesty?" The question is a mere whisper as the ashamed page stands by the door of the balcony of the Scottish Queen.
"Yes, Luigi?" She smiles to the page as he switches his weight from one foot to another, knowing well enough from the years working on the castle that the Queen does not like to be interrupted in her practically daily meditation on the balcony.
"I beg your Pardon, Your Majesty, but the Dauphin is requesting a meeting with you." She smiles and for a moment she forgets she's thirty-two and not sixteen and Francis needs to be formally announced to her chamber as he's simply the Dauphin. Not the Dauphin and her betrothed.
"Let him in." The page nods and Mary follows him inside of her chamber, as he opens the door for Francis and then leaves.
The tension is palpable as they remain alone in the same room for the first time in sixteen years. A mix of feelings runs through their veins as their blood run faster. It's like they can hear each other's heart beat even standing in opposite side of the room.
And it's no news for any of them how their hearts start to beat on the same pace. Like it did in the past.
"I don't believe it's appropriate you visiting my chambers at this hour." Mary is not serious as Francis can see from the smile on her face and notice on the tone of her voice. He cannot help but smile back at her.
"King James asked me to give you this." He handles her a piece of paper and for a moment the tip of their fingers touch. Neither of them can describe the shiver that run down through their bodies with the small touch.
"It's blank. It's nothing." Mary tells Francis as she shows him the empty piece of paper with a frown and he laughs.
"Good thing your guards don't know it." He keeps his hands in his back and she has to laugh at his mischievous smile. He looks a sixteen-year-old boy all over again.
"Cheeky." The smile continues in her face as she stares deep into his eyes. "So, what brings you here?"
"I just wanted to be sure that we are good. That there is nothing unresolved between us." He cannot help but wonder his eyes around her chamber. It is the same from sixteen years before.
"I believe I should be the one asking you this question, Francis." She doesn't have the guts to stare at him as she puts the piece of paper on her desk.
"Maybe. Maybe not." His eyes do not leave her face until she finally looks into it. Again, she does not find the same light it had years ago. "You married my brother to save me, Mary. Not that I ever believed in that prophecy, but you did. And it took me some time to realize that you did not just sacrifice my happiness, but yours too. As my brother would never make you happy as I would."
"Please, Francis." It doesn't take much for him to be transported to the time they were children as she clutches her fingers tightly on her dress and her eyes starts to water. In his mind she's not crying for decision made years ago but because the fireflies did not come that night. "What is done is done. We cannot change the past, you know that."
"I know that. That's why I just wish for us to start over. With no resentments." He gives a step forward in her direction and he is glad she does not move backwards. "I made peace with that a long time ago."
"I took off your life of you."
"Yes, you did. But not the way you think you did, taking off my throne and my position at Court. But the truth is that I don't want to talk about what happened or about what might have happened. I want to talk about what will from now on. Now that I can have my life back."
"You're the Dauphin again. Your daughters are being formally recognized as princess of France. A lot will happen, I'm sure of it." Mary smiles but she knows he does not speak about his new position or about his daughters'.
"And I want you to be by my side every step of the way. So I can finally have my whole life back." She holds her breath as she stares at his extended hand.
"We are not young anymore, Francis. And we have children to think about."
Your children, she thinks.
Our child, she thinks again.
"Remember when I told you I would spend my life, whoever long, with you?"
"Remember when I told you I would remember every moment for the rest of my life?"
There's a smile plastered in each of their faces as they stare at each other and as Francis nods his head in the direction of his still extended hand, Mary takes it without thinking.
Because both of them know they have no time to lose this time.
~0~
He's back at court and she's finally back into his arms.
The past stays in the past as neither of them mention their years apart.
They start over, older now and with three children in their backs.
He doesn't have to ask as he did years before, for the fourth to come.
And things are finally back into its place. Even if it took sixteen years to happen.
But it doesn't matter for them. Because they feel young all over again, as if they could conquer the world together.
It's not needed though.
Each other's heart is enough.