Hey guys! I hope you guys like the story, I have had a lot of fun writing it. The first few chapters are just set up for the rest of the story, but I promise, eventually Bellamy and Clarke are reunited. :)
She stared at her small campfire. She didn't risk building the flames up too high. There was still a lot about Earth that they didn't know. She couldn't risk attracting too much attention. Not that she was risking very much. She didn't have much to risk.
Clarke sighed and took the final bite of the only fish she had managed to catch today. Fishing, apparently, wasn't her strong suit. She hadn't gotten much practice up on the Ark. Some of the other kids from the 100 had picked it up as if they had been doing it their whole lives, they could feed all of Camp Jaha.
A stab of pain lanced through her entire system, she physically cringed from the shock of it and instinctively shifted her thoughts away. Everything related to her past life hurt. What she had done. The people she had hurt. Killed. The people she had left behind.
"I bear it so they don't have to," she remind myself and take a steadying breathe. Clarke didn't know how many times she had repeated those words to herself since she had left Camp Jaha. Since she had said them for the first time to Bellamy. Again, a stabbing longing caused her to consciously change her train of thoughts.
She stood up and dusted off her pants. She headed into the trees to check her security line the she had circled her small camp with. It was really just some line with cans attached, any human could easily get around it. Hopefully though, if any animal tried to sneak up on her she would hear it in time to at least get a fighting chance. It was a long shot, but there wasn't much else she could do to keep herself guarded. She had to sleep at some point. After tightening the lines, she went back to her fire. It was starting to die. The nights were starting to get colder, which made her yearn to keep the flames burning throughout the night. But, again, she couldn't risk it, not while she was sleeping. So, instead she laid out her small bedroll. Tomorrow, she would concentrate on finding a more permanent place to live, somewhere that could last her the winter.
Clarke pulled out the last of her water for the day and splashed it on her face. The last remnants she dumped on the fire, effectively dousing it. The darkness washed over her completely, blinding her. She sat still and waited for her eyes to adjust to the surrounding forest. As she waited she listened to the creaks of the trees and the distant sounds of animals. So far, most of the animals she had met were relatively harmless. But there were a few exceptions. And when she was alone in the dark, her mind always remembered exactly what those exceptions can do. Slowly, her eyes adjusted and she laid down on her bed roll, ignoring the rocks that dug into her back. She tried to focus on what she had to do tomorrow, gather roots, find somewhere to live. But that distraction tactic only worked for so long.
The nights were the worst. She couldn't stop her mind from wandering. And every time she closed her eyes she remembered the way he looked at her when she had told him she didn't want him to come with her. When she had abandoned him when he was willing to give up everything for her.
"I'm sorry," she whispered to the wind. She hoped he knew. Selfishly, she hoped that he forgave her. She hoped she hadn't hurt him too much by leaving. But most of all, she hoped she did the right thing when she walked away. She didn't want to put him, put any of them, through watching her suffer with what she had done. She didn't deserve their comfort and they didn't deserve her pain. She knew she had to pay her penance, but it didn't change the fact that it felt like she was getting ripped to pieces every moment she was away from those she loved at Camp Jaha. She needed them. She needed him. She wasn't sure how to put herself back together now that he wasn't there to help her figure out exactly how she should start. But this was the one time she wouldn't let him be her partner. She would bear it so he didn't have to.
Please let me know how you think I did on portraying Clarke. I feel pretty confident seeing as this was my first time writing her, but I would love feedback. :)