The Various Misadventures of Heather
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1. Ilyana
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A Crimean researcher whom no one had heard of had nonetheless performed an experiment where he shook a stick whenever he fed his pet dog, and eventually he got the dog to eat the stick, or something like that. Maybe it was a bell, and the dog had eaten the bell or something. Anyway, this anecdote has very little to do with our story, or maybe it does. Who knows?
Sometime during one of the many wars Tellius experiences on almost an annual basis, Heather entered a small tent where Ilyana sat on a small bed, reading a large leather-bound book. There was a thunder tome sitting on a small table to the side. What appeared to be fruit seeds were scattered on the grass below Heather's feet as she shuffled in.
"Hey, cutie," Heather said, slipping through the flaps of the tent effortlessly and without having to strain herself. Ilyana grunted. "Good to see you again."
"Hrm? I- I didn't hear you come in," Ilyana said.
Heather giggled. "That's kinda the point, isn't it? I wouldn't be a very good thief if you always knew where I was. That's how I got half of my possessions: being quiet. Hehe, I bet you can't guess what I else I can do quietly?"
"Um…"
"Hey, Ilyana. It's a little bit boring sitting around waiting to fight. What're you doing?"
"Um…" Ilyana was about to speak when a terrible rumbling issued through the room. There was a roar like the splitting of the earth or maybe a tiger. Heather blinked a few times. She had never heard anything quite like it before. She raised her right eyebrow and stood straight upright, eyes cocking back and forth from left to right, from near to far.
"What was that?!? Ilyana, was that you?"
"Well, er, I guess. Perhaps," Ilyana said. Still sitting, she placed her book down on the bed and rocked gently from side to side, her eyes closed. "I am…a little bit hungry…just a little…a bunch…a lot…much. I'm…very hungry…Feather…er, Heather…"
Heather laughed. "So that was your stomach? That's so cute. Hungry, huh? It's good to have such a ravenous appetite. It shows you're healthy." She put her hand to her chin and thought for a moment. Through the silky, billowing folds of the tent behind her, she could hear the sounds of bells, which signified lunchtime at the army's camp. Ilyana's ears pricked up.
"Was that…the lunch bell? I don't have enough strength to get up…" Ilyana fell back against her fellow pillow and the bed fluffed up and rippled under her. "That's not a nice thing to do. I wonder if they know I'm too hungry to move?"
"Hmm…" Heather grinned. She walked to the foot of Ilyana's bed and sat down on the edge. "Hey, Ilyana. I've got a proposition for you."
"Urr…what?"
"How about we make a little bet?" Heather said. Ilyana sat up and looked at the thief, whose torso was spun around to look at her. Heather's bright blonde hair fell haphazardly down her cliffs and hit the ground with a thud, although Heather herself gave the impression that she would never fall anywhere ungracefully, ever. She wore a headband that reminded Ilyana of ninja, strangely enough. "If you win, I'll get you all the food you want…free of charge, of course. I wouldn't charge a cutie like you." Heather winked.
"A bet? What happens if I lose?"
"Oh, don't worry about that," Heather said. "There are more important things than winning and losing, you know. So how about it? Wanna make a bet?"
"Okay," Ilyana said. Her stomach gurgled. She blinked her sleepy eyes. Her vision was foggy and all she could think about was food. Heather was a blur in front of her. All Ilyana could think about was a bowl of long, smooth pasta noodles and two watermelons. Her stomach gurgled harder. "What kind of bet is it?"
"Nothing too crazy," Heather said, swiping a strand of pasta out of her eyes. "Ready for it? Okay. I bet that you won't give me a kiss."
Ilyana blinked. "Huh? A kiss? That's all I have to do?" Ilyana could already smell the roast lamb and fresh vegetables and fresh fruit.
"Mm hmm. That's it. Easy, huh? Anything for a beautiful girl like you. So, do you accept the terms of our agreement?"
Ilyana could taste the food now. The lamb was charred enough to have flavor, but not enough to be burnt, and the fruit was juicy and sweet and perfectly ripe. "Yes," she said, and Heather leaned in. Ilyana could feel her mouth water and her lips moisten. It didn't hurt that Heather's lips were the shade of fresh strawberries, either. Ilyana leaned forward and kissed the taller woman—who had to crane her neck down until her pasta tumbled into Ilyana's face—on the lips. At some point during the kiss, Ilyana worried if she would accidentally touch Heather's uvula with her tongue. The parts of her mind not thinking actively about kissing or food were thinking about how intriguing a word 'uvula' was. She wondered what a uvula tasted like. About a minute passed and they slowly withdrew. Ilyana blinked, and Heather giggled. There were butterflies in Heather's stomach and nothing in Ilyana's.
"I guess you won," Heather said, uncharacteristically awkward, after a moment of silence. Through her fogged, still half-drowsing eyes, Ilyana saw the thief woman's face shade pink. "A promise is a promise, then, cutie. Don't worry, I'm sure I'll be able to scrounge up more than my single ration of food. It isn't like they keep the food stores heavily guarded, right?"
Heather walked to the flaps of the door, smiling broadly, then paused for a moment and turned to see Ilyana gently rocking back and forth on her bed, wiping her lips with her sleeve. When she was sure Ilyana was watching, Heather winked, sighed inaudibly, then withdrew herself from the folds of the tent.
Ilyana sat quietly, her mouth watering at the prospect of roast meat and succulent fruit. It was such an easy bet, Ilyana thought, lying back on her bed. Heather was nice. Maybe she'd give her food more often, Ilyana wondered—after all, she did seem to have quite a concern about her appetite. For some strange reason, from then on, whenever Ilyana's thoughts returned to Heather, she always thought about food and her mouth would begin to water almost automatically. Needless to say, Ilyana made it a point to spend more time around her.