Disclaimer: No owns Hetalia.
Summary: Switzerland has been paid to host a defense-tip class with Hungary as a co-host. Sealand, Iceland, Latvia, Seychelles, Wy and Liechtenstein are his 'students'. The point of this class is to raise public awareness and how to defend themselves from strangers or France. In the end, Hungary uses her frying pan a lot and France gets smacked by young children...
Notes: Yay~ *dances* I got another request~ but this certainly is a different turn from all my friendship/romance fics...and with so many nations in it...agh! I wonder if I'm the right person for the job. But this shortie will try her best to fulfill the request to the best of her mediocre abilities!
"Oh, my beautiful head..." a certain French country opened his blue eyes wearily, taking in his surroundings. He realized he was tied up and inside some sort of cell.
"Oh no! What has happened?" France started to panic. "My beautiful arms are being ravaged by these ropes! Someone help me!"
Suddenly, he was blindfolded and muffled by someone. He heard them mutter, "This is stupid..." and then France felt like he was being dragged outside.
When his blindfold was removed, there was a bright light. France winced and squinted his eyes, trying to adjust to the new environment he was introduced in. What he saw were multiple bright lights and glint from cameras.
He recognized that he was on a stage, and there was quite a crowd he was facing.
"Oh~ I see. You all have come to see Big Brother's France beautiful face, oui?" France realized he was still tied up. "Hey! Why won't you untie me?"
"Because I know you'll try to run away."
France turned his head towards the speaker, and his jaw dropped.
"Switzerland?" France asked in disbelief. The country scowled and rested his gun against his shoulder.
"It's not like I vant to do this as well." Switzerland admitted. "But I am getting paid money for zhis."
"What? What are you going to do?" France asked warily. Before Switzerland could answer the French man, there was a loud and booming voice.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WELCOME TO THIS SPECIAL PROGRAM!"
There were loud cheers erupting from the ground, and France turned his attention to Switzerland.
"Program? What, are you going to teach people how to shoot Italians?" France asked.
"Not really. They told me even though I was getting paid, zhis announcement vouldn't be charged by zhe media or something. Apparently, the purpose of zhis is to raise awareness and to change public attitudes towards a social issue...or in zhis case, you." Switzerland said casually.
"WHAT?!" France yelled out, trying to back away from the Swiss man. "What do you mean by that, Switzerland?!"
"I vould answer you, but I guess you'll have to vait and find out." Switzerland answered. "They've made me the host...so I have to perform my duty as best as I can, if I vant to get paid extra."
France paled, but before he could protest more, he was muffled by a rag. He turned around to see Iceland, who didn't look pleased about the situation.
"Sorry. But I'm getting paid with bundles of licorice." Iceland shrugged.
"OKAY EVERYONE! TIME TO GET INTO CHARACTER! THE CAMERAS ROLL IN THREE MINUTES!"
"B-Big Bruder, I don't think I can do zhis," Liechtenstein whimpered, clutching Switzerland's sleeve in worry. "I-I do not think I have zhe heart to-"
"It's okay Liechtenstein. You don't have to if you don't vant to," Switzerland reassured. However, Liechtenstein shook her head.
"B-But if everyone else can do it, then I can," Liechtenstein sighed, a determined look on her face. Switzerland smiled at her determined face. It was amazing how she changed in just a few seconds.
"D-d-do your best, Sealand!" Latvia offered.
"You too, Latvia!" Sealand said back. "You too Wy! We'll prove to the world micro-nations are the best!"
In response, the micro-nation country sighed in irritation. "I've already told you, don't associate yourself with me. I've been recognized as an independent country."
"You say that, but you've joined the micronation club I've made, remember?" Sealand teased.
"Do your best, Iceland~" Seychelles offered her own words of encouragement, looking excited. "I'm so glad they've invited me here as a participant! I'm so happy~"
"Tch." Iceland looked away from the island nation, a blush evident on his face. Whether it was because of the girl or out of embarrassment of the cameras, we may never know. "I don't even know why the heck I am here...oh right. Licorice."
"I hope you're watching me, Mr. Austria!" Hungary waved to the cameras happily. Meanwhile, Prussia was freaking out. France just noticed his fellow friend was also tied up. Now France was worried about his role in this program as well...
"Cameras rolling in three!"
France began to pray for his safety.
"Two!"
Prussia tried to squirm his way off the stage.
"One! Action!"
"N-nice to meet you!" Liechtenstein bowed. "M-my name is Liechtenstein. My big bruder is going to teach a class in a few minutes. These are my classmates zhat are learning with me."
The audience 'aww'ed at the sight of Liechtenstein. Off in the shadows, Switzerland grit his teeth and Hungary gave him a warning look to not shoot any of the audience members.
"Hello~ my name is the Republic of Seychelles~" Seychelles waved casually.
"I'm the Principality of Wy." Wy gave a small nod of her head.
"I'm the Principality of Sealand!" Sealand jumped up and down, waving wildly.
"U-U-Um, I am the Republic of Latvia..." Latvia had frightened tears in his eyes as he bowed.
"I'm the Republic of Iceland," Iceland said coolly. There was a gunshot in the air, which caused all of the young nations to jump.
"Alright, it's time to start class." Switzerland walked into the spotlight, sporting a rifle against his shoulder. He turned to the cameras. "I'm the Swiss Confederation. But I'll be known as Switzerland."
"He's the host~ and my name is Hungary! I'm the co-host!" Hungary waved, smiling and sporting a frying pan in her right hand. Switzerland turned towards his 'class'.
"Today, you'll be learning about self-defense tips." Switzerland's posture was rigid as he paced in front of them. "Recently, zhere have been reports of strangers attacking young nations like you. My job here today is to teach you how to defend yourself. For example!"
Switzerland pulled a chalkboard out of nowhere, grabbing a piece of chalk. He began to furiously attack the chalkboard with chalk, but actually he was drawing small pictures.
Very weird looking ones, if you asked Iceland.
"This is France." Switzerland jabbed the chalk at a rather crude drawing of said French nation. All the young nations(except Latvia and Liechtenstein) sweatdropped. "When you see him, try to avoid contact. If he does happen to catch sight of you, you either run like a coward..."
He slammed a hand on Latvia's desk, scaring the poor nation.
"Or you fight back like a true country!" Switzerland said. "France is prone to many things, but he is also weak to countries like you as well. To fight back, as you must do is simply smack him in the face. He vill then proceed to cry about his beautiful face being ruined. You can smack him again if you'd like, but I vould be very happy if you managed to smack him in zhe face at least once."
"U-Um..." Liechtenstein was shaking, a wanting look on her face as she stared at the chalkboard drawings. Switzerland sweatdropped.
'Oh crap. I forgot she liked my drawings...'
"Moving on! Zhere is another country you must be vary of!" Switzerland turned his attention back to the chalkboard. However, he could feel Liechtenstein's distress and he started to shake as well.
"Hungary, vould you like to take over? I vill be right back." Switzerland muttered.
"Of course!" Hungary smiled. Switzerland rushed off the set, causing confused looks from among the nations and crowd. "Now, the country we were going to talk about: Prussia!"
"When you see him, he will try to steal your happy place!" Hungary said, reaching out and grabbing Prussia by the collar. He gulped when Hungary pointed her frying pan at his neck. "Now, the best option for you dears is to run, right?"
"I-I don't like violence..." Liechtenstein whispered, clutching the hem of her dress.
"Well, that is where you are wrong!" Hungary, with a scary smile on her face, slammed a fist on Latvia's desk, which caused the nation to jump and start to whimper and cry. Sealand pat his fellow country's back in reassurance, quite scared of the dark aura emitting from Hungary as well.
"You see this frying pan?"
Before any of the nations nodded, Hungary brought the pan right to Prussia's face with a really loud smack. Everyone winced.
"My assistant that is certainly not Prussia will now demonstrate what will happen when you manage to get a hit in!" Hungary said happily, letting go of his collar. Prussia began to writhe on the ground.
"And to make sure that he will not take you or your friend's happy place, simply do this!"
Hungary stomped her foot on Prussia's happy place.
Iceland, Latvia, and Sealand's hands instantly went to their own happy place as they heard a loud crunch. They all paled and winced. Latvia even managed to faint.
"Now, any questions?" Hungary asked.
"What was the relevance of this class?" Seychelles asked, raising her hand.
"Oh, good question Seychelles!" Hungary clapped her hands together happily. "But before I answer your question, since Switzerland has yet to return, we will move on to the final secession of this program!"
"...Which is?" Iceland asked, afraid of the answer.
"I need to see all of you in action! What will you do when you encounter France?" Hungary walked off to the side, grabbing France's collar and dragging him to where the nations were seated. France was crying and screaming about 'his happy place and how he did not want to end up like Prussia'.
"WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME, HUNGARY?"
"I'm doing this to you because you got whipped by Mr. Austria..." Hungary hissed in France's ears.
"What?!" France exclaimed. "How is that my fault?!"
Hungary didn't answer as she threw France right next to the unconscious Prussia.
"Now, who would like to demonstrate what they learned first?" Hungary asked with a sweet smile. Everyone shivered in fear as Sealand began to clutch Wy's arm.
"No volunteers?" Hungary pouted.
"He's my Papa!" Seychelles protested. "Sure, he's perverted and he even tried to grope me before, but he hasn't done anything wrong right now!"
"..."
"Seychelles..." France looked at the island nation with happy tears in his eyes. "You..."
"If I smack him, will I get my licorice payment?" Iceland asked, not interested in anything but his licorice right now.
"Yes!" Hungary nodded.
Iceland got up from his seat, hand in his left pocket. He quickly slapped France with his right hand and walked away from the set casually. France stared dumbfounded after the Icelandic country.
Sealand exchanged looks with Liechtenstein, Wy and Seychelles.
"Well...if I want to get more attention..." Sealand muttered, getting up from his seat. On the way to France, he kicked Latvia gently. It was enough to wake him up though.
"By the way, I'm only doing this because you wouldn't recognize me as a country!" Sealand declared, smacking France across the face and skipping back to his seat.
"Wonderful!" Hungary clapped her hands happily. "Latvia, you're next?"
"Wh-what?" Latvia stuttered. Sealand nudged Latvia towards Hungary, and the poor country had tears running down his face as Hungary grabbed his hand and led him to the dumbfounded France.
"I can tell you need some help on this!" Hungary smiled. "Here!" She grabbed his hand, and with all the force she could muster, she used Latvia's hand to slap France across the face.
The force caused Latvia to yelp as he felt a stinging pain in his hand. Meanwhile, France's face had somewhat twisted and he got thrown to the side a few feet, some of his teeth falling out and tears running down his eyes.
"Oh, what a horrible day! Getting smacked by children!" France sobbed.
"Miss Hungary! That was too much!" Liechtenstein scolded, running to the fallen France with Seychelles in tow.
"Ah, two angels have decided to save me..." France sighed. His cheek was bright red and there was a bruise forming. Liechtenstein's eyebrows creased downwards into a worried frown, laying the French's head onto her lap. Seychelles had managed to grab some water and handed it to France.
"Hey! The objective here is to raise public awareness about stranger danger! We're supposed to tell them to smack a stranger in the face, not treat them after they're smacked!" one of the media directors whispered harshly.
Seychelles glared at them. "You have no right, treating France like this! He hasn't done anything wrong at this moment! You want us to harm a man who can't fend for himself?"
"Pretty much..."
Seychelles facepalmed.
But when France had suddenly shot up and snuggled his head into Liechtenstein's non-existent chest, it caused the girl to yelp and Seychelles's jaw to drop.
"I stand up for you and then you do this?!" Seychelles demanded, smacking France across the face after yanking him away from Liechtenstein. The girl was whimpering and clutching her chest.
Meanwhile, Wy was watching everything from her seat, not moving an inch. She sighed.
"This is stupid. I was only here to kill some time but it was just a waste." Wy declared, getting up from her seat and started to walk away.
"Oh, I don't think so." Hungary placed a hand on Wy's shoulder, preventing the micro-nation from moving any further. Wy gulped when she felt a dangerous aura behind her. She didn't dare to turn around.
"All I need is for you and Liechtenstein to smack France across the face. Then I can let you go away and I can be satisfied."
"I refuse to be roped into your problems." Wy struggled to get her shoulder out of Hungary's grasp. Wy realized Hungary had an iron grip and would not relent on it.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...if I do this, would you stop crushing my shoulder?"
"Of course!" Hungary smiled and moved her hand towards Wy's hand, dragging the small girl over to where France was holding his cheek and crying while looking at Seychelles.
"France~" Hungary sang. France saw Wy in tow and he turned a pleading look towards her.
"I have no choice," Wy said in monotone.
France screeched and got up to run. Hungary then realized France had somehow gotten rid of his ropes. That's why he was holding his cheek...
"I don't think so!"
Hungary did a cartwheel and ran in front of France, using her frying pan to knock him out. France collapsed at her boots, and Hungary smirked.
"Well, you knocked him out. Too bad. I guess I should leave now." Wy said quickly. Before Hungary turned around the micro-nation was out of that stage set as fast as she could run.
"Oh well. I got to smack France with my frying pan~ I guess it's alright now." So, with a smile, Hungary turned towards the camera. "Remember, when a stranger approaches you, you either smack them across the face or smack them across the face with a frying pan! Happy smacking!"
After they cut the camera, Switzerland had walked onto the set holding the drawings he had just finished for Liechtenstein. Then he realized the situation everyone was in. They all turned to look at him.
"Where were you? You missed all the good stuff!" Hungary chirped.
"Umm..." Switzerland hid the drawings behind his back. "I vas cleaning my gun."
Liechtenstein ran to Switzerland, wrapping her arms around his in a hug.
"Thank you, Bruder." Liechtenstein whispered, grabbing the drawings from behind his back.
Seychelles watched the two with a smile, before walking towards France. She began to drag him off the stage set by the arm, and Hungary walked off the stage set with a smile.
The audience also began to pile out of the room. Latvia followed behind Sealand closely, scared of anyone attacking him randomly.
Finally, Switzerland and Liechtenstein pulled away from their hug and walked off the stage set as well, Liechtenstein rambling on how she was going to make some cheese fondue for dinner.
Wait...there's someone missing here, right?
"Ugh...my happy place..."
Oh, nevermind.
...yay?
...
...
Wow...did I really just write this? Yup...
I was wincing the whole time I wrote out France's and Prussia's torture. Yeow...Sorry if there are any boys out there who read this.
Well...I did my request...wrote more nations...failed at writing out accents...but this is probably the last one-shot for this month. School will be starting on the 27th and I wanted to get this and one more chapter of Chibinamu out. I hope you guys like this!
So, happy smackin- I mean, reviewing~