Author's Note: This story is part of my (ongoing) five part series forming what I like to call "my personal second season of Pan Am". All the stories are relatively independent and can be read in any order. However, if you want to read them in chronological order, I recommend starting with Kate's story: "We'll Always Have Beirut":

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For a complete overview of the series, please see my profile page or the last chapter of this story.

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Pan Am – "More Love Than Two Can Handle"

Persian Nights

v1.0.2 (June 25, 2013)

"Don't forget your appointment with Doctor Honigschnaps on Wednesday!"

Maggie was standing in the kitchen and spoke to Laura, who was still getting dressed in her room.

"I won't forget this time."

"Well, darling, I won't remind you a second time, so don't blame me for any consequences…"

Even though Maggie could not see her in this moment, Laura blushed at her roommate's frankness. Talking about this issue was embarrassing enough to Laura, even when she, if she was honest with herself, was not really threatened with the consequences Maggie was talking about. As a Pan Am stewardess, Laura was an unmarried woman by definition, and as an unmarried woman, she had no access to birth control. But as a Pan Am stewardess, Laura did have access to Doctor Honigschnaps, a very helpful and understanding practitioner, who understood the needs of unmarried women jetting around the world.

Maggie had first told Laura about him and his special patient base of fellow stewardesses when Laura had moved in with her. Laura had insisted that she was still a virgin, that she planned to marry the one man that would change this fact, and that she therefore didn't need Doctor Honigschnaps's special service, but Maggie had equally determinedly insisted that she had to see him. Maggie had been the stronger and more determined of them, and for some months now, Laura received "hormonal treatment for menstrual regulation" and renewed her prescription once in three months.

By now, Laura was no longer a virgin, but still unmarried, so in some respect, Maggie had been right. But then, Laura had not been with another man since her experience with Joe. In the end, all this was probably yet another thing that was part of being a modern and self determined woman, and so Laura had finally resigned herself to it. Exactly as she was going to resign herself to a totally different thing she didn't want to do just today.

Laura grabbed her coat and stepped out of her room, ready to go. Maggie was already waiting for her, and the both left their home. Today's appointment was not with a doctor, but in some ironic way, it was still linked with it, in that it wouldn't have occurred if a certain someone had known Doctor Honigschnaps. Amanda and Ted had invited all their friends from Pan Am – Dean, Sanjeev and his wife, Colette, Maggie, and Laura – to see their newborn baby. Once more, Laura wished she could trade places with her sister Kate. After leaving their crew for this strange special training course, she was now based in Paris and worked as a standby stewardess for Pan Am's European flights. It was the perfect excuse for declining the invitation. But Laura was not living in Paris, she was living in New York, and she was still part of Dean's crew, as was Ted. She was simply unable to be so rude to decline seeing the newborn child of a friend, and so Laura got in the cab with Maggie and they both set out for Ted's apartment.

Maggie was sensitive enough to feel that there was something wrong with Laura, who was staring out of the cab's window without speaking a word. And she knew what exactly was wrong with her, too. Maggie surely remembered last New Year's Eve, when Laura and Ted had kissed at the party and had watched the Times Square ball drop, standing together like a couple in love. For Laura, the thought of this night was painful and embarrassing at the same time. Only minutes after new year had begun, when Laura had talked about her plans for 1964, Ted had told her about Amanda's pregnancy. He had told her, that he would marry Amanda, and that Laura and he could not be together. Laura had started to cry in front of all her friends, and then she had rushed out of Ted's place in tears. Since then, she had not been back.

Then the cab reached their destination, and Laura and Maggie got out, entered the building and took the elevator up to Ted's apartment. When they were standing in front of the door, Maggie stopped and reached for Laura's arm.

"Are you sure you want to do this? We can still turn around and go. We will tell them that you were sick, or you can even tell them that I was sick and you had to care for me."

Maggie looked at Laura sympathetically, and this time, Laura was not embarrassed, but just thankful for her good friend.

"No, it is alright, I have to get past this now." Laura answered and took a deep breath. "Maybe, it will even get better after today?"

Laura tried to make a hopeful smile, but she was sure that Maggie would see the insecurity that was behind it. The smile Maggie answered her with was equally unconvincing, but it nevertheless made Laura feel better. Maggie knocked, and to their surprise, it was Dean who opened.

"Maggie, Laura, welcome! Come in." their captain invited them.

"Are we late?" Maggie asked when Dean helped them out of their coats.

"Colette and I just were here early." he answered. "Don't worry, you even arived before Sanjeev and his wife, they will be late."

Laura handed him her coat and then slowly peeked around the corner into the living room.

There were four people waiting for them, including the baby. Laura could not see Teddy Junior from the hall, but she saw his crib standing in the middle of the room. Colette was standing next to it. She was bending forward, with her face close to the blanket, and the expression on her face was that of every woman when she saw a cute baby. Amanda was sitting on the smaller of the two sofas, watching Colette admiring her son, and her face showed the silent joy of a proud mother. But she looked not half as proud as Ted did. He was standing next to her, his eyes focused on the crib, and his face all smiles.

To Laura, it came as kind of a shock to see him smiling so happily. After what had happened between them just eight months ago, Laura and Ted had strictly avoided each other. It had not been easy, considering that they worked together in a sealed metal tube that was only 140 feet long and 12 feet in diameter. The simultaneous absence of Dean, Colette, and Kate in the first half of 1964 hadn't made it easier. But they had both been surprisingly successful in their efforts, and at the seldom instances at which they had met, they both had displayed a professional, straight face, banning virtually all emotions. For Laura, it really was the first time she saw Ted with a happy face in the whole year.

Before Laura could even process the shock, Maggie rushed past her, and Dean followed her into the living room. Maggie expressed her congratulations to the proud parents and then joined Colette in her admiration of Teddy Junior. Laura took another deep breath, then put on her best smile, and finally stepped in. At this point, Ted noticed her presence. He looked at her, and his smile grew even wider.

"Laura, come, see my son!" he simply said, and then his eyes turned back to the baby.

When Laura moved closer, Amanda rose from the sofa and smiled at her. She stepped forward and bent down towards the crib, reaching for the baby. Very cautiously she took it in her arms, lifting the infant on one of her arms and wrapping the other arm tightly around it, bringing its head to a rest against her shoulder. All eyes were on the child, and for the first time, Laura saw the baby boy, too. His eyes were closed, and his little arms were resting on his mother's chest. The image of Amanda standing there, with Teddy Junior on her arms, was so peaceful, so pure, that nobody spoke a word. Only after one second, Laura noticed that she was even holding her breath.

"Look, Teddy, look who's there! It's aunty Laura, she is here to say 'Hello' to you."

When Amanda broke the silence, Laura was not only still holding her breath, her heart stopped beating, too. It was feeling like a stab. There it was, the child of the man Laura loved, and who loved her, in the arms of the woman that had destroyed their love. The baby was so innocent, it was impossible to feel anger or even worse feelings directed at it. But at the same time, Laura could not forget that, if Teddy Junior had never been born, she could be Ted's wife now. She felt that she was close to getting overwhelmed by her emotions, that she couldn't hold back the tears for much longer.

"Hello, little Teddy." was all she could say. She stood there frozen, and all she could do was to hope that her smile was frozen, too, so that her face would not tell her true emotions. At least Maggie and Colette had to be sensitive enough to feel what their friend was going through, and they both looked at Laura. Ted, on the contrary, seemed to sense nothing. His eyes were still fixated on his son, and his smile was still radiating warm joy.

"Please excuse me." Laura muttered, and without adding any further words she turned and went to the kitchen, leaving her friends behind in the living room. She gripped the back of a kitchen chair, holding herself up, fearing that she might collapse on the floor. She tried to calm down, breathing deeply with her eyes closed. Then Laura stepped over to the sink and turned on the tap. When she had poured herself a glass of cold water, she suddenly heard somebody stepping into the room and closing the door.

"Are you alright, Laura?"

It was Amanda's voice. Laura didn't dare to turn around now. As calm as possible, she drank the water and took one last deep breath before answering her host:

"Thanks, Amanda, I will be well. It's just… I'm just a little dizzy, but I will be well, soon."

For several seconds, both women were silent. Laura was still staring at the wall in front of her, but she felt the presence of Amanda in her back.

"You know, Laura, Ted and I, we are both very glad that you are here with us today." Amanda broke the silence. "Especially Ted, I mean, you saw his smile…"

"He is so proud on his son." Laura struggled to keep her voice from breaking.

"Yes, he is, but it is more than that. He is really happy to see you, Laura. You should have heard him talking at breakfast. He was so looking forward to this afternoon, and he didn't even hide it. As you said, he is so proud on his son, but to him, the most important thing about all this was to present Teddy Junior to you. To share his joy with you."

Laura heard Amanda breathing deeply, and she heard the tension in the other woman's voice. She stared at the cupboard right in front of her face, as if it was the most interesting piece of furniture she had ever seen. Because, the alternative, to turn around and look at Amanda, would have killed her. For eight months, Laura had been avoiding Ted, had been trying to forget what had been between them. Now, one look for two seconds had been enough to bring back all the feelings she had tried to ignore.

And Amanda had obviously felt it. Even worse, Amanda had felt her husband's feelings, too. Laura herself hadn't been sure whether Ted was still feeling anything for her. His bright smile, that was in so stark contrast to what Laura had felt in this moment, had made her doubtful about her hopes. But if Ted really was still having feelings for Laura, than Amanda, as his wife, had every right to be angry with Laura. And now, she was confronting her about it.

"Laura, you have to understand that I'm Ted's wife, that I want to be him a good wife, and that therefore I feel obliged to make him happy. But it is obvious, that I can't make him happy as you do. And it hurts me to see him unhappy."

"It hurts me, too."

The sentence had just slipped out. It had not passed Laura's brain, but came directly from her heart. Now she was in shock about what she just had said. It was so insensitive, so inappropriate, and yet, it was true.

"I know." Amanda continued. "And that is why I want to ask you to do what I can't do."

That last sentence came as a total surprise to Laura. What did this even mean? Laura was so confused, so stunned by Amanda's request, that she turned around and faced her. When she finally saw the woman she had been talking to for the last minutes, she realized that all the time, Amanda had still been holding Teddy Junior on her arms. When Laura looked at the mother with her son, Amanda smiled at her.

"Laura, I think it will make Ted very happy if you engage in an affair with him."

It felt like a slap in her face. The feeling was so physical, Laura could no longer control herself. There she stood, the wife of the man she loved, holding his son on her arms, and she was asking Laura to become her husband's mistress, to save her marriage by this. Laura felt that she was tearing up, but she still couldn't move a step. Her eyes were fixed on the scene in front of her: Amanda standing there with her innocent baby. But Laura's view was becoming blurred by the tears that filled her eyes. Without saying anything, Laura stormed out of the kitchen, ignoring Maggie and Colette standing in the hall, she stormed out of Ted's apartment and out of the building in tears.

– – – –

"This is going to be your last night with the crew of the Clipper Majestic! I won't let you get away that easy! Have you already forgotten everything I've taught you?" Maggie raised the shot glass in her hand and pushed the other glass over to her. "For this night, I'm still your supervisor, so drink this, it's an order!"

With great satisfaction, Maggie watched Liz downing the drink, and then she emptied her own glass. Liz had been with them for only four weeks, but Maggie had gotten used to develop some strange kind of motherly feelings for all those young girls that were entrusted in her care. Since Colette had returned from searching her brother in France, and with Kate being based in Paris now, the Clipper Majestic lacked the fourth stewardess. Pan Am headquarters seemed to have taken this as an opportunity for creating some kind of unofficial training course, because for the last eight months, the free position had been filled with young stewardesses on their first assignment after completing basic training. They all had stayed for only three or four weeks before being assigned to a new crew, but none of them would ever forget what Maggie had taught them in this time.

It was a strange fortune that Maggie, of all people, had become an example for so many young woman, but she was obviously enjoying it. For Laura, this meant that Maggie was no longer focused solely on teaching the finer aspects of the job to her. At the same time, her older sister had left, too. At first, Laura had felt kind of left alone, but then, she had realized that she had finally become a full-grown woman now, with nobody watching every step she made. She felt liberated by the new independence. And all the young women that were passing through looked up to her as a experienced stewardess, and this was a good feeling, too.

Laura felt somewhat sorry for Liz when she watched Maggie mercilessly pushing over the next shot of vodka. At the same time, she wished she was in the same opportunity Liz was in. They were all sitting at the counter of a bar in Tehran. Laura was placed between Dean on her left side and Colette on her right, but it was the sixth member of her crew that made her wish this was her last evening with all of them. Ted was sitting next to Colette, watching Maggie and Liz with an amused smirk on his face.

Ten days had passed since that day they all had been at Ted's apartment to see the baby, and since the sudden ending this afternoon had had. It had been impossible for Laura to avoid discussing all this with her roommate, and Maggie had been her a good friend in comforting her. Laura had felt way to embarrassed by the topic of the conversation she had had with Amanda in the kitchen, though, so she had left Maggie in the dark as to what exactly they had talked about. Colette had been available for consoling support, too, and even Dean had tried to cheer her up. But Laura had not talked to Ted since then, and even with Colette sitting between them, she realized that she was not able to go on like this. She had to cut Ted out of her life, she had to leave, because otherwise, she would never be happy again.

"This place is terrible! No music, nobody is dancing!" Maggie looked around the sparely crowded bar and shook her head in frustration. "I saw a club just hundred yards down the street when we were ariving at the hotel, and they played music there. I think it is time to move on for the next few drinks."

Before Liz could even think of protesting, Maggie pushed her from the bar stool and linked arms with her.

"What about you four, will you join us?"

"I don't have to follow any orders from you, you're not my superior." Dean answered with an amused smile and shook his head decliningly. Maggie's look wandered on to Colette and Laura, and both followed the example of their captain. For a moment, Maggie's eyes rested on Laura's face.

"Are you sure?" she asked. "You are missing a good opportunity to get drunk."

Laura repeated her gesture of refusal, but sweetened it with a thankful smile. She appreciated Maggie's efforts to make her feel better, but she was definitely not in the mood for drinking with Maggie and everything that came with it.

"Well, then we'll see tomorrow. You two better go to bed early, because I have the feeling you will have to take on some extra work on tomorrow's flight."

Maggie turned around quickly, tugging Liz behind her when she left the bar, without giving her captain the chance to protest against her plans. While Laura was still watching them go, Colette tipped on her shoulder.

"Would you mind changing places?" she asked, already standing behind the stool Laura was sitting on. Now that Liz was no longer with them, Colette felt no more need to hide. Both Ted and Laura knew about the relationship she and Dean had. It was wise to hide this breach of Pan Am's rules of conduct from a short time acquaintance like Liz, but Ted and Laura were friends that would never give away their secret. Laura moved over to the place Colette had been occupying, and at the same time, Colette and Dean shared their first kiss of the evening.

"You better don't even bother with making yourself too comfortable, I have other plans for us." Dean smiled at Colette when he took her hand and gently kissed its back. "There is a nice cozy restaurant just 15 minutes from her. No place for tourists, original Persian air. They serve the best Cheloe kabab I have ever had."

"Do you know this because you have been there before with a nice stewardess?" Colette teased playfully.

"My captain showed me this place when I was here on my first transatlantic flight as a first officer." explained Dean. "He was a very nice guy, though. I hope you don't get jealous."

"Well, I think I can handle this." Colette smiled and then turned to Laura and Ted. "I hope you don't mind us leaving you two alone."

"If you hurry, you can catch up with Maggie and Liz." Dean suggested, and then the two lovers were off for their romantic rendezvous.

Laura had looked after them across the bar, and when she turned around, she noticed the situation she had gotten into. After changing her place with Colette, she was now sitting directly next to Ted, and they both were effectively alone in the small Persian bar that was sparsely frequented by only some locals. She looked over at him, and she could read from his face that he was feeling as awkward as was she. They both avoided the other person's look and stared in their drinks. Just in the moment Laura had come to the decision to better leave, Ted started to speak:

"I hope I have good chances for promotion to captain before the end of the year. If there is no other way, I will ask my father to call some of his friends. Then I will leave the crew anyway, and we won't have to see anymore. I think this will be better for both of us."

"I thought about requesting a transfer, too." Laura replied dryly.

"If you can bear it, wait for my promotion. This way, you can stay with Maggie and Colette, and Dean. Maybe I'll take some weeks off to enjoy some time with Teddy Junior, then we'll have to see each other even less."

"I know that it is not easy for you to ask your father for this. Thank you."

Laura forced herself to thankfully smile at Ted, and he returned the favor. With some surprise, Laura realized that she really felt some relief. She couldn't have continued working with Ted forever as if nothing had happened. The time at which she had hoped for a happy ending for Ted and her were long over. But now she knew that there would be at least an end to all this.

"Are you going to meet with Kate at our refueling stop in Paris?"

"We both plan so, but she is always on standby, so it may not happen in the end. But if we can't meet tomorrow, we will still have another chance just next week." Laura answered, but then she realized something. "Are you trying to lure me into some small talk?"

"No, I'm just genuinely interested in this." Ted parried. "You two are sisters, and you live on opposite sides of an ocean, and still you get to see each other at least once a month."

"Stewardesses are lucky, aren't we?" Laura smiled at Ted, and he smiled back at her.

"Well, are you sure Liz would agree with you?" Ted replied. "What do you think, is she still on her feet?"

"I don't worry about her. Maggie will take good care of her."

"Are you speaking from first-hand experience?"

"Well, kind of." Laura laughed at Ted's question. "Back when I was new at Pan Am, Kate was always there for me, holding my hand and watching over me. But Maggie did teach me one or two things about the stewardess life style, too." Laura giggled when she remembered some of the most memorable 'lessons' Maggie had taught her. "There was this one night in Jakarta…"

"So, what happened?" Ted asked when Laura continued to giggle to herself.

Laura looked at Ted and shook her head. "Oh, I can't tell you about Jakarta."

"Why not? It can't be worse than when they arrested you and Maggie in Rio de Janeiro, and remember, I was the one who came to free you!" Ted insisted.

"Yes, you did." Laura looked at Ted and fondly smiled at him. "Okay, you'll pay the next cocktail, and I'll tell you about Jakarta. But only one more cocktail! Otherwise, I might end up dancing on the table… again."

If Ted had really tried to lure Laura into small talk intentionally, he had been successful. Laura told him about Jakarta, and he couldn't believe that she had been dancing on a table in a restaurant. She had to promise to show him the photos she and Maggie had taken. In return, Ted told her about one night he had spent in Panama in his Navy days. It was exactly like in the days before Ted had even met Amanda again. Back then, they both had been in love with each other, but they hadn't admitted it to themselves and had been just good friends. Now, there were still complex feelings standing between them, but they both knew what their future looked like, and that it wouldn't be a shared future. Somehow, this certainty had set them free to be friends again.

"We better get back to the hotel. Maggie warned you that you'll have to be fit tomorrow, and who knows when Dean and Colette will return. If Sanjeev won't have cured his headache till tomorrow, maybe we both will be the only ones doing all the work." Ted finally said jokingly, and Laura checked her watch. They had been talking for nearly two hours. When they both walked down the street that led to their hotel, Laura tried to sort out the confusing feelings she was having. This evening had started as the most painful evening since her talk with Amanda, but the last two hours had been fun. Laura caught herself drawing new hope from this. She didn't hope for Ted and her to live the love she had wished for for so long. But maybe, they could stay friends. If they just could preserve tonight's innocent happiness…

Meanwhile, they had not only reached the hotel but were already in the elevator. When the elevator car stopped on the floor both their rooms where on, Laura found herself regretting that she had given in when Ted had suggested to leave the bar. It had been her two happiest hours in the whole year, and now, this fantastic time were over. Only ten steps more, then they would part, and Laura feared that there would never again be a time as happy as this evening for her. They stopped in front of the room Laura shared with Colette.

"You are lucky again." Ted said. "Maggie and Liz are sharing a room, so they won't disturb you when they'll come back. I imagine that might get a little noisy."

"Well, I guess Colette won't disturb me either. She and Dean were in a very romantic mood when they left…" Laura answered when she opened the door, implying what they both expected to happen. Dean and Colette were not only living together in New York, they also shared a room wherever their flights took them.

As if this had been an invitation, or maybe just the occasion at which the awareness for the situation they were in came to them, Ted unexpectedly bent down to Laura and kissed her. Laura didn't resist. Intellectually, she knew that she better should stop this immediately. All the happy moments of this evening had only become possible when they both had accepted that there would be no love in their future, that there would be no shared future at all. Only seconds ago, Laura had hoped to stay good friends with Ted. This kiss would destroy all of this. It would spawn new hope that could never be fulfilled. It would be impossible to be friends when they kissed now.

But Laura didn't resist Ted, but answered the kiss. She slowly moved backwards into her room. Then she noticed that Ted seemed to have misinterpreted her movement. He didn't move at all, and their kiss broke. His eyes told Laura that he understood her step as a retreat from him, as a sign that she wanted it to end here. And while she knew that this was probably the right thing to do, it was not what she hungered for. Laura grabbed Ted's jacket and pulled him with her. Now Ted understood. Without looking, he closed the door behind him with a kick while they were now kissing again.

Laura stepped backwards until she felt her bed against her legs. Ted was already unbuttoning her blouse, and she started to do the same thing with his shirt. With a fast movement she opened the zipper of her skirt and then let both it and her panties slide down her legs before she sat down. Her hands ran over his naked chest, down over his belly and then they reached his pants, opened the button and pulled down the zipper. At the same time, Ted was still occupied with her bra. He finally managed to open it, and Laura took her hands of him to remove the bra and her blouse. Then she laid back on the bed.

For a moment, Ted didn't follow her. He kept sitting upright, his hands in his lap, and just looked at her. Laura started to fear that she had done something wrong, that she had somehow alienated him, or that he had a sudden fit of sanity.

"You are so beautiful." Ted said. "I have dreamt of this for so long, and now I wish I could spent the rest of all time just sitting here and looking at you in admiration."

He gently placed his hands on her torso, let his fingers circle her navel, and then wander up her chest. When his hands cupped Laura's breasts, it felt warm and tender. Ted kissed her mouth again, then her chin, her neck, her breasts. His tongue was exploring the valleys and the hills of her body, and every touch on her skin she felt deep in her body's center at the same time. Then his kisses took the same way back upwards, until his mouth was right at her left ear.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he whispered in her ear.

"I want to do this for more than a year, I am ready." Laura replied.

Ted's hands left Laura's breasts and moved down, gently gripping her hips and her tights. He pressed his lips on hers and simultaneously lifted her hips while he was slowly shifting his position. Their tongues met and when the kiss was at its most intense moment, she finally felt him enter her. Slowly, but with strength he sent thrust after thrust through her body. Laura moaned in pleasure. Her right hand grabbed the sheet, her left hand rested on Ted's shoulder, transmitting the exertion of his muscles while she was at the same time feeling it with her whole body and right in her center. Laura kissed Ted's face, his neck, his strong shoulders, but when he moved faster, pushing stronger, she was no longer able to perform such complex movements. She lost every last bit of control over her body, she fell back on the bed, her moaning grew louder, and then she was totally overwhelmed by the pleasure when it reached the highest point.