Vancouver, April 2193
Kaidan Alenko watched through the front window of his mother's home as a shadow passed over the yard. The familiar whine of a ship's engine accompanied it, and he cringed slightly at the thought of having turned one of their fields into a makeshift spaceport. He had been expecting them to arrive in a shuttle. Not the Normandy itself.
"I'm not sure which is more depressing these days," Garrus commented from the kitchen. "The fact that I always get a tear in my eye whenever I see her, or the fact that we're not on her crew anymore."
"We're doing good work on the Citadel, Garrus," replied Kaidan, setting down his coffee and making his way to the door. "Jane put down the foundation. We're just continuing what she began during the Reaper War."
Nearby, their Prothean companion snorted. "I still believe you would have accomplished more as a Spectre."
"I gladly handed off that responsibility to you, my friend," the human teased as Javik scowled. But still the Prothean followed, with the Turian not far behind them. The three men emerged from the house, blinking as they adjusted to the sunlight. Years ago, it would have triggered a migraine, and Kaidan still shaded his face with his hand out of habit. He couldn't help pulling his lips into a smile at the sight of her as she stood in the field, memories bubbling to the surface as he made his way to the warship. They crossed the yard just as the cargo door descended, revealing ten anxious crew members on board.
"I see you went with familiar faces for the new crew, Commander," he said, taking the officer's hand when the distance was closed and giving it a firm, friendly shake. "It's good that the Normandy's still keeping her family close."
"Wouldn't have it any other way, General. Or is it Ambassador now? Whatever. I said I'd take care of her for you."
"You marines and your formalities," interrupted Garrus, making his way past Kaidan to give the Normandy's CO a handshake of his own. "How the hell have you been, Jimmy?"
"Busy. But when haven't we been, right guys?"
Commander James Vega turned to look at the crew behind him, nodding at them to follow him off the ship. Kaidan greeted all of them, with warm embraces for Kasumi, Samantha and EDI, handshakes for Grunt and Kolyat, a pat on the back for Joker and Cortez. When the last two came down and the pilot remotely closed up the frigate, he gave them a warm smile.
He had met Treeya and Milque during the aftermath of the Reaper war, and they'd even socialized the few times James had brought them to the Citadel in the years afterward, but they'd never before taken up the offer to join in their annual memorial gathering. But Kaidan knew that Vega wouldn't let just anybody join his crew on the Normandy, and that when the right people were brought on board they somehow managed to ease their way into the tight-knit family.
"So, Kaidan," started Joker as the group made their way around the house. "Is that really an SR-1 replica in your backyard? Because I seriously did a double-take when we flew over. I mean, I'm all for nostalgia and everything, but that's a little overboard." Kaidan chuckled and exchanged a look with Garrus. The turian had expressed an identical reaction when he and Tali had arrived the day before.
"It's from our friend on Omega. For the kids."
"A playhouse? From Aria?"
"That's the rumor. She contacts us now and then through one of the Shadow Broker's agents." At this, Javik coughed discreetly and Kaidan gave him a quick wink. "She seems to think that since we keep popping out miniature crew members..."
"And just what is the official count up to now?" interrupted Kasumi, just as the sounds of squealing children hit their ears.
"Eleven was the last I heard," Traynor answered when they rounded the corner of the house and the crew they hadn't met up with yet came into view. It was quite the sight, with young humans, Krogan and even one asari scrambling around the yard with a pair of varren pups.
"Twelve," Javik corrected, his eyes lighting up as an awkwardly pregnant Liara noticed the newcomers and stood to greet them.
"Yeah, saw that one coming," interjected Joker. "Still not as surprising as Miranda waddling around with the twins."
"A one-time-only experience, I assure you," replied the very woman Joker had mentioned. She was coming down from the porch, a cup of tea in hand. "If anyone other than Jane had asked, it would have never happened."
Kaidan absently slipped an arm around Miranda's shoulders and gave her an affectionate squeeze as everyone else drifted off to mingle. For all that he had once groused about Shepard's involvement with Cerberus, he had to admit that some good things had come out of her time with the organization. Her bonds with the new crew-mates that had helped her stop the Collectors had eventually given them an edge against the Illusive Man, and Kaidan had even become friends with them all over the years. And Jane had hand-picked the genetically engineered brunette as her surrogate.
"You had the perfect opportunity to spill the beans about number thirteen," she said, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
"Tomorrow, Miranda," he responded, pulling her in the tiniest bit closer and watching the children play. "Today is her day."
Miranda Lawson was no Jane Shepard, and Kaidan was thankful for his wife's understanding of that fact. It had taken him two years after the twins were born to come to terms with the fact that the woman who had born their children for him had never once tried to occupy the space in his heart that Jane did. But over time, Miranda had managed to carve out her own place, and he knew that Jane would never have forgiven him for not moving forward when he had the opportunity. She had sacrificed herself to create a future for all the races of the galaxy, and had made certain beforehand that her own children would be able to flourish during a time of peace. The children that Jane and Kaidan had talked about having together in the weeks before she activated the Crucible.
He had never been happier than the day Ashley and David were born. He knew that as hard as it had been without Jane, he wouldn't have changed a single thing that had brought their children into his life. Kaidan looked out across the yard at the tangle of offspring, pleased that the next generation had already begun to form bonds as strong as those of their parents. Urdnot Bakara had come in Wrex's stead to the celebration, with their brood of five in tow. Jacob's boys were the oldest humans of the bunch, with Liara's firstborn the same age as the former operative's youngest. And after years of trying for their own, Tali and Garrus had finally succeeded in producing a daughter, who was now toddling after Jack's complacent pet varren, Eezo.
The day breezed by much as Kaidan expected it to. Overall, it was the largest gathering of the various Normandy crew members since the party seven years prior at the Citadel. But rebuilding the galactic civilizations had taken priority, and everyone had their roles to fill in order to make sure that happened as smoothly as possible. He'd made certain to take time for everyone, to swap stories with the adults and dote on the children. So it startled him when, at the end of the night after the kids had gone to bed, Garrus pointed out something Kaidan had missed.
"Does anyone know where James disappeared to?"
"The twins wanted him to read them a story," Miranda replied.
"That was an hour ago. Shouldn't he have been back by now?"
"I know where he's at," supplied Steve, exchanging a worried glance with Milque as he stood. The human sniper nodded briefly before turning back to his quiet conversation with Kolyat, and the shuttle pilot indicated for Kaidan to follow him outside. Once they had stepped into the night and left the others behind, Cortez picked up the conversation with a heavy sigh. "Do you remember the last time Vega saw the kids?"
"About three years ago, at their first birthday party. Come to think of it, that was the last year he came to our annual crew reunion, too." Kaidan noticed that they were walking towards the Normandy, and that her cargo door was open. With everyone else back at the house, it was easy to deduce that James had returned to the ship.
"Which we have on Jane's birthday."
"Yeah, but I still don't understand why..." and Kaidan interrupted himself with silence as the wheels began to turn. As they got closer to the Normandy, he could see James back at his old station, putting some serious work into the punching bag. "She was incarcerated on her last birthday."
"And he was the last one of us to celebrate it with her."
Kaidan knew there was more to the story than what Steve was telling him, but they walked up the ramp without saying a word. James glanced at them out of the corner of his eye, but continued annihilating the athletic equipment without any further acknowledgment.
"Vega, it's time," Steve said, approaching his commanding officer and friend yet still managing to stay out of grappling distance.
"Not now, Esteban."
"Yes, James. Now." This time, Cortez stepped into range of Vega's swing, an act he wouldn't have done if he was certain he would be hit. With a frustrated sigh, the Commander stepped back and dropped his fists, running one hand across his face.
"Go on back to the house, Cortez. I'll talk to the Ambassador."
James watched as his friend walked away, arms folded across his chest. Eventually, he moved to lean against his old workbench, gesturing for Kaidan to take the spot next to him. Cautious, he did as requested, though he was on guard in case the bigger man lost control of his emotions. But James seemed to be at ease, even if his posture indicated nervousness.
As they stood there in silence, a conversation he'd once had with Jane swam to the surface of his memories. When he coupled that with what he had just learned from Steve, Kaidan decided not to wait for Vega to start talking.
"It was you, wasn't it?"
A sigh, and then, "Yeah."
"Jane and I, we...talked about it. Argued a little. But she never told me who or when. With the war on our minds, it just wasn't important to fight about."
"And now?"
"Now I..." Kaidan struggled for the words. Years ago he would've been pissed off, but time had changed his circumstances and had given him a different perspective. "You're my friend, James. And you were there for her when I wasn't sure if I wanted to be. So if you're keeping your distance because you regret what happened..."
"I don't regret one second I spent with Lola," James interjected. "But I knew the moment we saw you in the hallway the day the reapers hit that she was yours."
"And you let her go?"
"I had bigger things to worry about than my feelings towards the Commander."
"Your fee...oh, shit. Yeah. Now it makes sense." James didn't need to say another word. Kaidan knew exactly what he meant. To fall in love with someone only to lose them, and then have something pop up that brings all the suppressed emotion to the surface again? For Kaidan, it had been seeing her on Horizon. He suspected that for James it was difficult to be around the family he would have once wanted as his own. "If you want forgiveness, you have it, James. It's not my place to judge what happened between you and Jane. But if you're looking for answers, I can't give them to you."
"Thanks, Kaidan," Vega replied with a sigh. "It helps that you know, even if she never did."
London, November 2236
The city looked nothing like he had remembered. Everything was new. Rebuilt. James stood for a long time in the spot he had last spoken to Commander Shepard, struggling to fight back the emotions it triggered. He should have told her. But at the time, he was certain of his own death, not Commander Shepard's, and James didn't want her to have that burden on her conscience when there was so much else at stake in those final hours.
He hadn't been able to bring himself to come back to London. When the Normandy had finally limped back to Earth, Joker flew her into Vancouver. After that, it was off to Brazil to complete his N7 training, which he had actually entered into at rank four thanks to Lola's last minute recommendations. A few years later, he had been invited to follow in her footsteps yet again, but he turned down the Spectre position in favor of keeping an Alliance officer on the SR-2 as XO under General Alenko.
It hadn't been much of a surprise when Kaidan stepped down in 2191. The twins needed him more than the Normandy did, and he would be starting a new life on the Citadel as the Alliance Ambassador. James knew they were grooming him for a Council position, and also knew Alenko would be perfect for it. The general had found a new purpose. A new love. And James, while happy for his friend, was forced to discover that his own feelings towards Jane had never really gone away.
With a sigh, and one last look at building that had once been a broken-down makeshift operations base, James turned to face his escort. "I'm ready."
"We have a shuttle waiting if you'd rather..."
"It didn't kill me the first time, Lieutenant."
"Understood, Admiral."
Fifty years had done nothing to diminish Vega's memories. Where there were now shiny new vehicles, he saw an overturned Mako he had once used as cover. The parking garage where they had been attacked by brutes and husks had been rebuilt. The shell of the reaper they had lured into missile range was now gone. But when he climbed up the last hill expecting to find a field of daisies, James had to take a moment to catch his breath.
It was exactly as he remembered. A kilometer-long swath of destruction between where he stood and where the beam to the Citadel had once glowed against the evening sky on that fateful night. The beam was gone now, but one other thing hadn't changed: Harbinger. The ancient reaper hadn't budged from that spot after returning from space when the Crucible was activated.
"I remember you, James Vega," he heard through his comm as the machine turned its eerie green gaze upon him.
"Yeah, I distinctly remember getting shot at by you a few times."
"Rest assured that will not be the case today."
"Good to know."
Minutes passed in silence as James made his way across the no-man's land. His hands itched with the desire to have a gun in his hand again, and the weight of mortality replaced his armor. The stillness of the debris field was more deafening than the push to the beam had ever been.
"So why did you stay here?" he asked Harbinger, grasping for conversation in what was already an awkward situation. "You could've gone anywhere. Helped rebuild. Flown off to make reaper babies or whatever."
"To atone for my sins. Two generations have been born since you last set foot on this land, Admiral Vega, and many of your peers have fallen to age. Soon, none will be left to give a firsthand account of the destruction my kind once inflicted upon the universe. This battlefield exists because of conflict between organic and synthetic species. While we have all evolved beyond it, we must never forget what Shepard went through to achieve the peace she sacrificed herself for."
"So you volunteered?"
"'Had to be me. Someone else might've gotten it wrong.'" James nearly jumped out of his skin as the reaper sent the broadcast of Mordin's last words to Shepard through his comm link.
"Dios! Warn a guy before you do that."
"My apologies, Admiral. I believed his words to be the most accurate response in this instance."
Uncertain of how to respond, James felt it best to fall back into a comfortable quiet as he walked the final meters of his journey. In place of the Citadel beam was a statue of Commander Shepard, beaten, bloodied and broken, much as James believed she had been after pushing herself forward when all others believed she had perished in Harbinger's final attack.
"Lola," he whispered, unable to stop himself from reaching out to the stone face. When he did, a small compartment at the base of the memorial slid open, and James gingerly crouched to investigate. Inside was a note and … dog-tags. Her dog-tags. With hands that had suddenly began to shake, he read the letter.
Vega,
She wanted you to have these.
-Kaidan
He closed his fist around her tags, unable to believe that she had left them for him, and unwilling to let them go in case he was simply imagining it. And for the first time in fifty years, James Vega closed his eyes and wept. In the darkness of his mind, he could pretend she was there, arms wrapped around him and whispering how happy she was to finally see him.
"I thought you'd never come," he heard her say. Her voice was so real, and James could feel her breath against his neck. And she was so warm in his arms...
"I've missed you, Lola. So much," James admitted, finally opening his eyes and noticing that he was most definitely not sobbing at the foot of a cold statue, but instead somewhere completely different with Jane Shepard right in front of him. Or...it looked like her. And did he just shed the past 50 years, because he hadn't looked this good since... "I died, didn't I?"
She chuckled, and the air around them rippled. "No, your body is still very much alive and kicking out there."
"So where are we? And why are you here?"
"I honestly don't know. Some sort of limbo my soul got thrown into after I joined with the energy from the Crucible. Probably my own stupid fault for working with Javik & Liara to create an Echo Shard doodad out of my ID tags."
"So you can't...move on?"
"Can't you?" She had him pegged with that simple observation. He didn't know what to say, so James stared quietly into the black void. Jane stood nearby, watching him and waiting for a response.
"I tried. Was even engaged for a while back in my forties. But it never felt right. Honestly I … I don't know how Kaidan did it." James knew he probably shouldn't have brought it up, expecting Lola to be upset at the mention of her former lover, but the look on her face was one of contentment. With just a touch of her trademark mischief thrown in that forced him to smile at her. "He came here, didn't he?"
"Liara brought him after he proposed to Miranda. It was...much easier than I expected to let him go."
"And I bet he came back after he found out about..."
"He did. But Kaidan didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. I'm just surprised it took you this long to find me."
"You knew?" James sputtered, certain that his heart would stop. All these years he was beating himself up for having never told her...
"I did. And I've had plenty of time on my hands to figure out what that meant in the grand scheme of things." Jane looked wistfully out into the expanse of darkness, and he noticed for the first time that there were tiny spots of light in the distance. It didn't quite remind him of looking out into space, but it was close enough that he could appreciate the simple beauty of where they were. "Kaidan was my first love," she continued, still staring into the black. "The fairy tale kind, that every girl dreams of having. After Horizon, while I was with Cerberus, I was so mad at him. I hated that he didn't trust I was still doing good work in spite of the uniform I wore. But that part of me who still had little girl dreams of happily ever after just couldn't tell him 'no' when he asked to come back to the Normandy on the Citadel."
"Your...first love?" prompted James. He had heard the rest, but something in her tone of voice hinted that there was much more to her story. She looked at him then, lips turned in a smile that melted his heart.
"After I left Cerberus, I took an extended shore leave in Vancouver..." James chuckled at her choice of words, which lifted the light in her eyes as she spoke. "There was this marine that kept coming by to keep tabs on me. He made sure I was eating, staying in shape. Found ways to keep me busy when the anger and depression at being grounded started to overwhelm me. He...became more than a friend. Briefly. And then..." She sighed, then shook her head and stared at her feet.
"The reapers," James finished for her, reaching out to tilt her head back up.
"And Kaidan." Jane leaned into his hand, allowing a single tear to roll down her cheek. "I knew how you felt about me. And I knew your anger those first few days weren't just about leaving Earth, or about what happened on Fehl Prime. But you stayed with me. And through all that mess, through all the choices I had to make, you never wavered a single moment in your loyalty to me. You never doubted me. You never doubted yourself. And there wasn't anyone else on my crew I can say that about."
"Jane, I..." he started, but she silenced him with a fierce and sudden press of her lips against his own.
"You loved me. Unconditionally. And wherever I go from here, I won't 'move on' unless you're with me."
"Lola, mi corazón," James whispered, pulling her against him and kissing the side of her head. "I would follow you to eternity."
Citadel, November 2236
"Dr. T'Soni?"
"Yes, Glyph?"
"Harbinger wished for me to tell you that Admiral Vega has passed away, and that Commander Shepard's echo shard is no longer active."
"He finally found her," Liara whispered, closing her eyes and smiling contentedly. "Thank you, Glyph. She's been waiting a long time for him."