A sad little Pansy fic about her relationship with Draco Malfoy. Read and review!
Sometimes she thinks that they're in love, and sometimes she knows that she's lying to herself. He's dashing, and when he sweeps that blond hair out of his eyes and smirks at her, gray eyes glinting coldly, she could just die. It's funny, she thinks. How something so cold can make her want to melt.
Sometimes she pulls out the pictures from under her bed. She made frames to hold the pictures of them at the Yule Ball, and in the pictures she looks so happy. And she remembers being happy and feeling so besotted. She could hardly eat the whole night, she was so nervous. In the pictures, he's wearing that same smirk she's so accustomed to, and she likes to pretend that it's a real smile. But when he comes into the room, she shoves the pictures back under her bed, because he can't stand sentimental drivel like that.
His parents like her and her parents like him, and sometimes she thinks that it's almost like a fairytale. Almost. He greets her with a cool nod and says, "Parkinson." He talks to her like she's a little lapdog, like she's going to just crawl over to him and obey his every command. And the sad thing is, she does it too.
She catches him with other girls all the time, and no amount of yelling and crying will ever make him feel sorry. She looks at herself in the mirror at night, and keeps her haughty expression carefully fixed. She's the perfect Slytherin princess, cold and beautiful like a diamond.
But he's so rich that a diamond doesn't impress him, and he just throws her aside most of the time.
She walks into the Common Room and finds him in the middle of a very heated snog with a fifth year girl with long dark hair and smoky eye makeup. The room goes quiet, and she can feel the sympathizing looks from the other students. She hates their sympathy, hates the way they're all thinking, "Oh poor Parkinson is just getting her heart stepped on by Malfoy."
The sad thing is that she can feel her heart being stepped on, and no matter how many times it happens it still hurts so much she doesn't think she can bear it. The rest of the school thinks that she's just a dainty little pureblood snob, but she knows that she's stronger than they could ever imagine. Because it takes strength to stand getting her heart broken again and again.
" Draco," she says, and she can hear her voice trembling.
He looks up, hair tousled and eyes lazily half closed. Seeing her, he grins and leans down to kiss the other girl one more time, and then sits back. "Parkinson," he responds with an amused smirk. "What do you want?"
And the sad thing is that he knows how much this hurts her, and he likes to watch as she struggles to hold back the tears. She would like to control her emotions, but she always lets them get the best of her and he always wins.
"You can't keep doing this!" she screams, and she's shaking. "We're bloody engaged!"
He looks unaffected, and he's looking at his fingernails now, completely disregarding her. "Don't tell me what to do, Parkinson," he finally says in a quiet voice, flicking her a glare that's clearly meant to put her in her place. "I will do what I please, and I expect you to understand this. I will not tolerate another outburst from you, do you understand?"
He stands up and leaves the room, the leggy fifth year clinging to his arm.
She can't help it, she crumples to the floor and the façade of the perfect Slytherin princess is lost as tears streak down her face.
She's always been in love with him, and when she was little she liked to imagine what it would be like to be married to him. Big mansions, lavish social affairs, pretty gowns, lots of kisses… her fairytale never truly died out, and a part of it still lingers in her heart.
But she now knows that being married to him will be hard, and that she'll get her heart trampled on every day. She'll end up like Narcissa Malfoy, a woman delicate like smoke. Reduced to almost nothing because her heart couldn't take the pain of her husband's affairs.
Pansy iscrying, and crying so hard that the Slytherin Common Room is just a blur of emerald and silver.
And the sad thing is that she still loves him so much that her heart breaks just thinking about it.