The End of the End
Usual Disclaimer: This world does not belong to me. i just borrowed it along with its inhabitants. Thanks J.K. for lending me your ready made world of magic.
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Graduation had been great. Harry and Hermione had been the valedictorians and now, sitting around him, everyone was enjoying the feast in the great hall. Laughing, gossiping and asking each other the same question. What are you going to do after Hogwarts? Harry and Ginny had made plans, they were due to be married the next year and were getting a house when Ginny graduated. Harry was to have a gap year before going to Auror training school and Ginny was opening a florists in Hogsmeade. Ginny had been allowed to attend the graduation feast with Harry and she stood talking happily to Ron. Yet Harry sat subdued at one of the tables, feeling the weight of his heavy heart more than ever. She looks so happy, he thought. She doesn't know anything about what I'm planning. He felt like he had lied to her for so long. He had made up his mind what to do months ago. None of their plans could become reality and she knew nothing. She looked over and smiled at him and he smiled weakly back. He couldn't believe what he was about to do to her and it was all to be completed that night, he had some serious letter writing to do. Everyone thought it was over. He had defeated Voldemort, nearly killing himself in the process. For everyone else it was over but it would never be over for him. He could never forget. They wouldn't let him. They couldn't see the scars, not the mental ones. They would always be there. Things had to change, and soon Harry Potter would cease to exist.
***
It was his last night at Hogwarts and instead of spending it celebrating with everyone else, he was sitting in his room doing the hardest thing he would ever have to do in his life.
Dear Sirius,
This is so hard and I don't know what to write. Thanks for always being
there for me and don't worry I'll be okay. Look after everyone for me and don't
think of me with sad memories. Live your life now that you have it back and live it well. I will never be Harry. Now, instead of being the boy who lived, I'm the boy
who saved everybody. I'll never forget you and I'll think of you always.
Harry.
He gave the note to Hedwig and sent her to Sirius' flat in Hogsmeade. Sirius was at the celebration so he knew it was safe to send it. Sirius wouldn't find it till morning.
Molly, Arthur, Fred, George, Bill, Charlie and Percy,
I don't want you to worry about me. I'll be okay. I just want to thank you
for being my family and taking care of me. I'm sorry I broke your daughters heart I hope you will forgive me and never hold sad memories because the ones I have of
you are happy ones. I know you can do without my troubles and don't mourn me, I don't want to think of any of you being sad. So, to the best family in the world,
Goodbye.
Harry.
***
Hedwig was back from her trip to Hogsmeade and she hooted when she seen another envelope. He slipped his animal translator round his neck and talked to his owl.
"This is a longer one." He said.
"That's okay master Harry" she hooted.
"For me as well Hedwig. We might not see each other again."
"Why master Harry?"
"It's complicated."
"Is it to do with the bad man?"
"Yes, sort of. It's me. I don't want you to be sad."
'But I will miss master. You are kind to me. Will Ginny go too?"
"No, You'll be Ginny's owl now." Harry looked into the owls large, round, sad eyes.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry master I will look after miss Ginny."
"Thank you Hedwig. When you've taken this to the burrow and left it. I want you to
come back and wait in Ginny's room. She'll have the translator necklace. Tell her that no words can say how much I love her." He gave her the letter and she took off. "Goodbye Harry." she hooted softly.
***
Dear Ron,
A goodbye letter is hard to write but here's a piece of advice before I go.
Don't let Hermione go. You don't know what you've got until you have to leave
it behind. You were the best friend and brother I could ever have wished for. I
want you to have my broom. Try to get better or you'll never play for the Chudley
Cannons! Thanks for anything and everything you've ever done for me. Goodbye.
Harry.
Dear Hermione,
I hate to have to say goodbye to any of you. Don't be sad after I'm gone.
I just want to leave happy memories if it's possible. Keep a tight leash on Ron and
don't let him go. look after Ginny for me and try to find a use for the cloak. Get up to some mischief for me. I'll never forget my best friend or my sister. Thanks for being there every step of the way. Goodbye Hermione.
Harry.
He lay his invisibility cloak next to Hermione's letter and his Firebolt X-model next to Ron's.
Professor Dumbledore,
Thank you for being there for me. For being my teacher, my friend and my
mentor. You guided me through the hardest parts of my life and helped me find my true friends and family, including you. I couldn't have wished for a better home than Hogwarts and I'll never forget a moment spent here. Tell Hagrid I'm sorry and goodbye.
Goodbye Professor Dumbledore.
Harry.
They kept getting Harder and Harder to write. Now came the hardest one. The one which hurt him to write.
Ginny,
You are my heart and soul but I have to leave. I hate to break your heart and word's cannot express my feelings for you. This is not a goodbye because goodbye's are for forever it's more like a see you later. I'm sorry our plans a not reality and never will be. I want you to have this ring anyway and remember me always. I hope the CD
I've left for you can say it better than me but I love you Ginny Weasley. Don't ever change.
Look after Hedwig for me, this necklace will let you talk to her. See you later. XXX.
Harry.
Harry dried his tears and hid them yet again. He had some messages to deliver and then he would be gone.
***
He had left the letters for Hermione, Ron and Ginny and could no longer stem the flow. He stood in front of the mirror and looked at his reflection. This would be le last time he would see this reflection. He performed the spell and crept out of the castle. He left silently and outside the gates, he took one last look at his home and apparated.
***
~I don't know how to leave you,
And I don't know how to stay.
I got thing that I must tell you,
That I don't know how to say.
The man behind these empty words,
Is crying out in shame.
Holding on to this sinking ship,
Where nothing else remains.
All I want is everything,
Am I asking too much?
All I want is everything,
Like the feel of your touch,
But all I have are yesterdays,
Tomorrow never comes.
It's hard to hold your head up,
When you're kneeling down to pray.
And talking don't come easy now,
When the words get in the way.
And if you could see what's going on,
Behind these private eyes,
The truth would look so easy now,
But I'm running out of lies.
All I want is everything,
Am I asking too much?
All I want is everything,
Like the feel of your touch.
All I have are yesterdays,
Tomorrow never comes.
You think the shadow of doubt,
Is hanging over my head.
It's just an Angel whose wings hide the sun,
And it's myself I betray,
I cannot wish this away.
Took my chance an now the damage is done.
All I want is everything,
Am I asking too much?
All I want is everything,
Like the feel, the feel of your touch.
All I have are yesterdays,
Tomorrow never comes.~
Ginny listened to the song and tears poured down her face. She looked at Hedwig who looked so sad. The next thing she knew, Hermione had rushed in and enveloped her in a tearful hug. The song replayed and Ron stood in the doorway. All three listened and sobbed.
***
They had been due to be married now. James Evans lay under the stars staring at a photo of a beautiful red headed girl. It had been over a year since he had left. The thought of her constantly and now he made a snap decision. He had to see her.
***
She had no idea that he was watching her. She wouldn't even recognise him. He stood in her busy little florists shop, looking around. She looked up from the counter. "Can I help you?" She said, smiling. He was stuck, she looked exactly like he remembered her, he could not speak. "Do I know you from somewhere." His breath caught in his chest as she uttered these words and he seen the realisation in her face. She buried herself in his arms and he was no longer James.
"Harry!" She whispered. "You changed without a wand."
"No I didn't. You changed me."
"Where have you been?"
"I can't tell you. I don't want anyone to follow me. I don't want to upset you. I just had to
see you again, I didn't think you'd recognise me."
"Please!" She pleaded. "You cant leave again! You have to come home."
"I cant. This cant be my home. I cant be Harry. I have to go soon. I didn't plan this..."
"You are Harry! You will always be Harry!"
"To you, yes. And that's how I want you all to remember me but I wont be back again.
Harry cant come back. He doesn't exist any more. I'm James now."
"He does exist! He exists in our memories."
"And that's where he'll stay." He transformed back to James and looked into her eyes. There was something missing from them the way he remembered him. He looked deep into her soul and knew he had taken a piece from it which could never be replaced.
"Harry will always be here." He said placing a hand on her heart. "I have to go...Goodbye Ginny." He said. a tear ran down his cheek and he apparated.
"But goodbyes are forever." She whispered into the air, for the words from his letter had been burned into her brain, and she knew she would never see him again and yet she could not cry. He had changed. He wasn't the Harry she wanted him to be.
Harry Potter only existed in her heart.