Disclaimer: Kim Possible is owned by Disney, I'm just borrowing.
The Song "Goodbye Time" by Blake Sheldon is from the album 'Blake Shelton's Barn & Grill"; written by Roger Murrah and James Dean Hicks.
AN: I tried to come up with a different way of presenting this song-fic. I wanted it to be in a first person narrative that changes the perspective from person to person without giving the identity of that person. This is the way I intended it to be, you as the reader are then made to determine who, and what their perspective is. I'm not trying to be difficult, just trying out a different style of writing. I have separated the parts so to help keep the characters clear, I'm not that cruel. Constructive criticisms are always welcome.
Amateur Night at the Barn & GrillFriday nights will never be the same in my life again. Gone are the good times we had when we just hung out together after school. Going for a snack after practice, even our extracurricular activities are coming to an end. Now that you have him, my usefulness in your life is over.
Sure I was the one that won the talent show, and American Starmaker, but you are the one I wanted to impress. The one I wanted to win all the long. Now you found somebody else to share yourself with. All I can do is try to release the pain I feel in my heart, just to empty the pain, so I don't feel anything ever again.
I stand in the wings and wait for the singer on stage to finish before I move out into the spotlight. Her song finishes I step quietly out from behind the curtain. I take the solitary stool to center stage and sit down waiting for the spot to light. I can hear the emcee making the introduction and slowly the light fills my eyes. I gradually become accustomed to the light as my eyes adjust. I look out in to the audience and smile, albeit halfheartedly. I see can Monique sitting a few tables back from the entrance, I didn't expect her to show up for this. She was the only one I told about my performance.
Quietly the piano begins; most sad in its chimes. Ready for the first measure, I lift my voice
It's your life - you say you need a change
Don't all the dreams we've seen come true mean anything
You say it's different now and you keep staring at the door
How can you walk away don't I matter anymore
People have started coming in from the entrance hearing the song. Inquisitive at the least, but wanting to listen and watch the performance. To my surprise others from school have found me. I can see Tara and Bonnie with their dates standing in the doorway watching. Tara looks like she is about to break into tears, and Bonnie seems to have lost her snarky smile. Monique is looking for a tissue and I haven't even gotten to the second stanza.
Passing through the entrance to the restaurant she passes the stage area with her date. She can hear the music and see people milling around out in front. She stops short and listens to the singer as he begins the first verse. She can't help but find familiarity in the voice and the lyrics seem to ring out in a disembodied pain and loss.
It's his voice, Ron. Since when did Ron go in for performing, and in public no less? Sure he beat me in the talent show, and he was on Starmaker, but singing was always more my style. His song rips into my soul; I can feel the pain in his voice, the anguish in his words. He should be singing a song in celebration of love, but he feels so haunted. How did Ron, the happiest person I know, come to find the need to express anguish in his song? It's breaking my heart.
If being free's worth what you leave behind
And if it's too late for love to change your mind
Then it's goodbye time
I'm sure that Monique has figured it out by the look on her tear stained face. Tara has long since buried her face in the shoulder of her date. I'm sorry girls; I have to let it out before it consumes me. I gave my heart away long ago, only to have it sacrificed time and time again. Rejected, because I was only just a friend. Turned away with my heart in my hand, left to watch as what I longed for walked away; leaving me in the dust. With me watching her stroll away on his arm; the twinkle in her eyes that should have been mine.
Carefully, I push my way in to the tiny theatre, it's crowded. Monique is seated at a table near the back, and I can see Tara and Bonnie standing off on the far side. Tara looks to be in tears, and Bonnie, I could almost swear that is one running down her cheek.
The melody is getting to me as my eyes start to glisten. Is it me Ron is singing to, or is it only my imagination? He always seemed to begin to say something but would stop as if an inner hand grabbed him by the throat. Is this emotion I hear in his voice of my own doing? Have I been blinded by my own prejudices to see his feelings? Does he really care for me?
I can see the look in his eyes. Such a deep sadness, something I had once thought never could or would have been found in him, but there it is. He looks as though he could burst into tears. I can feel mine leaking from own eyes as I realize, the pain he feels is from my being blind to what he felt for me all this time. I have to make it up to him. He is the one I have been searching for. Hidden in plain sight all along.
Oh my God! She's here. I don't know how she found out about Ron performing here tonight, but here she is. Kim was supposed to be out with what's his name, the one Ron hates so much. Well, maybe not hates, but he can't stand to be in the same room with him none the less. I just hope Ron can't see her back there with him. If he did I can only imagine how he might react.
Good. She's headed back out the door. By Monday morning she would have heard all about it from Tara and Bonnie anyway. Another competition he won without any help from you, like you ever did anything to help him get ahead in life. You maybe my best friend Kim, but you wouldn't be half the person you are without Ron, it's just too bad you can't see it for yourself.
I can feel all the negative energy drain from me as I wait for the final chorus. With all my pent up feelings I stand up from the stool and give it my all. I can feel the emotions from the crowd wash over me as I really land the ending I have put so much work into. I only hope someday Kim can understand why I never revealed my feelings for her, she has been my friend for so long and so much of what I have done has been just for her.
Slowly I make my way backstage, careful not to be seen by any of my friends in the crowd. I feel bad for my date, but I make my apologies and made my way back inside. I hope he doesn't hate me, I don't like to leave anyone with bad feelings. I however have been in denial for far too long and now I have to make amends. I hope I haven't waited too long. I can see his outline silhouetted by the spotlights, he looks so handsome. Quietly I move behind the curtain catching mere glimpses of him waiting for the piano to catch up to him. He draws in a deep breath as he is preparing for the final climax of the sonnet.
My god my knees are feeling weak. It feels as though time has stopped just long enough for the torture to become almost unbearable. I have to do this not only for him, but I would never be able to forgive myself if I allowed the words I kept secret to go unsaid.
I can feel the weight of the world lift from my shoulders as I ready for the crescendo; I get a sense of energy filling me as I lift my face to the heavens. I can feel the air pressure drop from the sudden intake of breaths from the audience.
If we had known our love would come to this If being free's worth what you leave behind Goodbye Baby
We could have saved our hearts the hurt of wasted years
Well it's been fun - what else can I say
If the feeling's gone words won't stop you anyway
And if it's too late for love to change your mind
Then it's goodbye time
His voice puts it in such a place I never thought attainable. It brings it all into clarity for me. The thunderous applause as he takes a well deserved bow. He tried to make his way from the stage but is called back for another round of applause. The crowd is on their feet, whistles and calls of "Bravo" echo through the arena.
Without a word I take a step from behind the curtain into a soft light glazing the stage. Here and there I can see the audience point to me as I make my way out behind him. Ron can't hear my footfalls over the audience. I can see Monique shock and surprise in her eyes. Bonnie is now clutching Brick by the arm trying, in a unsuccessful bid, to stop the tears that are threatening to cleanse her soul, the same Tara has long since given in to. I feel like a hunter closing in on my prey, sneaking up like a lioness on her quarry.
A hand reaches out a tentatively to touch his shoulder.
Applause, for my performance. This I didn't have to rely on anyone being there to help me, this I did on my own. My own talent comes out to play on these seldom and few moments when I get to be; what I keep hidden from the world. I thank the crowd for being generous in their praise as I take my last bow before I turn to go. But this time there is something unmistakably different as I feel a soft hand touch my shoulder.
Time seems to stop as I turn around to look into the eyes I am now willing to lose myself in. She is here, beside me, smiling that wonderful quirky smile. I can only stare into those deep green eyes with a sense of wonderment. Her face softens; going almost smoky with a warmth I haven't seen in some time.
My eyes seem to question everything; the audience seems to have disappeared. I can still see them applauding from the corner of my eye, but the sound has long since muted. I can feel her hands on my arm sliding down to my wrists and back up to my shoulders. Gently she turns me to face her, I go willingly… almost needing. I can feel her arms go around me, pulling me closer. She has never embraced me before, but this is so different than I ever imagined it could be. She pulls my head lower slightly, down to hers, I can feel her breath on my ear. I feel a tear run down between our cheeks, as hers is now pressed to mine. Then I hear it.
"I'm here now Ron, you won't ever have to feel that pain again. You won't be alone again, not with me next to you."
I can feel her body press in close to mine.
"I won't leave you like she did. I will be at your side as long as you want me to be."
Her sobs tear at my own heart. Let me take this anguish from you; let me be here for you. Suddenly she pulled back, looking me in the eye, I see something I have never seen before, fear. Then she takes the plunge.
"Ron… I think I've been falling for you."
My arms clutch at her; drawing her back to me, even closer than before. Gently I nuzzle her neck holding her tightly; my mind is awhirl with thoughts and feelings long suppressed. Time to let them take flight.
"Shego, I have been having the same feelings myself. I have for such a long time, but I couldn't chance it that you would reject me too. I think fell for you too."
I hear a sharp intake of breath, her grip around my neck growing tighter.
"I couldn't take a chance that I might lose any part of who we were. I couldn't risk that it would be me to be the one to cause you any more pain than what you already have had in your life." Her voice full of a new fear, something I have never heard from her before.
She had begun to loosen her grip as I hear a small voice through her tears.
"Let me be strong for you now, you have done so much for me already. You took chances you never had to for my benefit. Knowing the risks you took the chances no one else would take, chased after me into danger that would have driven great men to shame. Trying to save me from myself all the while."
Being pulled closer I can feel her breath on my face as hers fills my view. She lowers her eyes demurely as she offers that once forbidden thought to my being. I accept with no regrets, offered lips brought to mine, I revel in the heated passion as a quick kiss turns into an ever deepening joining of hearts and souls.
Shego holds me tightly feeling the warmth of the embrace. I can feel the emotion in her voice as we make our way from the stage; still locked in her arms.
"I don't know what kind of life we can have together, but as long as we are together I know we can work it through. I'm just so sorry that it took so long for me to realize it truly was you that I needed." 'I will never admit it, but this frightens me, nothing has before, but this does.' "I love you. I need your love to save me, please. Love me…"
"From now on and always Shego, now and always."
As we step through the parted curtains I see a crimson haired girl crouched on the floor; my best friend in tears. I cradle Shego's head to my shoulder to keep the situation from spinning out of control. Her chief rival looking utterly defeated, broken at our feet as we walk off into our brave new life. I can hear the pleading sobs faintly as we walk away.
"I'm sorry… Ron I never meant to hurt you."
"Please, I'm sorry… I should have seen how much you meant to me. What you did for me."
"I'm sorry that I left it unsaid for too long… now I'm losing what I most wanted in life… the love of someone that I already held dear to me… a true love. Ron, I love you."
As we turn and walk away, "Good-bye Baby, goodbye…"