The Kissing of the Mistletoe
DISCLAIMER: None of these characters belong to me. However, if DC Comics would care to leave Dickie in my Christmas stocking this year, I would greatly appreciate it. Hee. Hee hee. XD
This is sorta based off the cartoon, I guess, but since Wonder Girl and Batman make appearances, I put it here instead. So if some of the characters act more like the cartoon than the comics… it's because I've never read a comic. O.o Use your imaginations. And even though there's a disproportionate amount of smooching in this fic, there is no romance to be found here, slash or otherwise.
Speedy grinned as he looked around the rec room in the Titans' Tower. Green and red garland criss-crossed all along the ceiling, and brightly-colored Christmas lights lined the walls. The falling snow was visible through the windows, except from where they had hung the wreaths. A large tree was in the corner; the Teen Titans had just finished decorating it and were now busy enjoying the party.
Christmas was Speedy's favorite time of year—mostly because of the presents, granted, but also because of the annual party the Titans threw on Christmas Eve. Although not all of the Titans celebrated Christmas per se, they still showed up to take part in the festivities and joy that only seemed to come around at the end of December. Raven had even agreed to show up for once, although she and a few others had yet to arrive.
"Great party, huh?"
Speedy whirled as Kid Flash unexpectedly popped up next to him. Normally, he'd be firing one of his exploding arrows at the annoying speedster for sneaking up on him. But since it was Christmas, he decided to give the guy a break.
"Yeah. But it'll be better when the others show up so we can get the presents already."
Kid Flash rolled his eyes.
"Don't you mean give the presents?" he suggested.
"I do what I want and you do what you want, okay? Hey."
Speedy slapped Kid Flash's arm to get his attention, and pointed at a spot just above the doorway. Kid Flash blinked, and then said with a wry grin, "Mistletoe. I wonder who put that up."
"I don't know… but I think we're in for a very interesting evening."
---
Starfire walked through the door.
She was eager to spend her first Christmas here with her new friends on Earth. Robin had been telling her all about some truly wonderful Christmas traditions, and she couldn't wait to experience them for herself. They sounded like such fun!
Finally, the Tamaranean looked up. Her green eyes became wide at the sight before her, and she could hardly hide her squeal of delight. There it was! Now was the perfect chance to try out one of the traditions Robin had been explaining to her earlier.
Starfire promptly flew up to where the small sprig of mistletoe was hanging in the doorframe. She gazed at it for a moment, studying the soft olive-green leaves and round white berries. It really was a pretty plant, she decided. No wonder humans had invented this tradition!
Leaning forward, Starfire gently brushed her lips against the mistletoe, enjoying the moment between her and the plant.
The 'moment' was interrupted by Cyborg, who had been watching his Tamaranean teammate in confusion, then panic.
"Starfire! What do you think you're doing?!"
"How nice to see you, Cyborg!" Starfire replied cheerfully, floating downward. "Is this not a lovely evening?"
"Starfire, that plant is poisonous," Cyborg informed her, not looking quite as amused. "I know your taste in food is a lot different from the rest of us, but—"
"I was not trying to eat it. I was kissing it."
"…Kissing it," repeated Cyborg.
"Yes! Just the way Robin told me!"
"So Robin told you to kiss the mistletoe."
"Yes!" Starfire said again, smiling all the while. "He told me about a most delightful Christmas tradition known as 'the kissing of the mistletoe'. It truly is a marvelous thing to do on Christmas, to show your appreciation for that beautiful plant. I do believe I shall try it again!"
Cyborg stared in shock as Starfire flew back up towards the mistletoe. Somehow, he couldn't help but feel as if Robin's explanation had gotten lost in translation.
"Riiiiiiight," he muttered.
---
Raven walked through the door.
Remind me again why I agreed to come, she asked herself. Parties weren't her style; she'd much rather be up in her room meditating. Or reading. Or, better yet, thinking of jokes to use on Beast Boy. Maybe Speedy, too. They were both idiots.
Well, she was here, so she might as well stay. She had promised to come, after all.
Raven was sorely tempted to break her promise when the first Titan she ran into was Beast Boy.
"Raven! You're here! Couldn't stay away from me, huh?" the green-skinned boy laughed mischievously.
Raven just groaned and rolled her eyes in disgust.
"Hey, look!" Beast Boy (unfortunately) spoke again. He pointed up, and Raven followed his finger. "Mistletoe. You know what that means, don't you?"
Beast Boy puckered up and made slobbery kissing noises. Raven closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on something more pleasant. Like maybe Slade.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"We're standing under mistletoe, Raven! That means we're supposed to kiss each other!"
"Don't even think about it."
"Aw, c'mon! Get in the spirit!"
Raven glared at him, and then at the offending plant. Her eyes began to glow a bright white as her powers built up to do her bidding. The mistletoe trembled, fell from its perch, and landed on Beast Boy's head.
"Um…" Beast Boy paused, trying to think of a snappy comeback. "Does this mean we're engaged?"
THUMP!
THWACK!
"Ow!"
"Definitely in the spirit now," Raven decided, suddenly feeling much better.
---
Aqualad walked through the door.
Or rather, he walked up to the doorway, stopped, and let out a sigh. He should have known that somebody would get the idea to hang mistletoe somewhere.
Being from Atlantis, Aqualad wasn't all that familiar with the tradition of kissing under mistletoe, as they didn't have an abundance of mistletoe to kiss under. He had, however, heard Robin explaining it to Starfire a couple of days ago. Now he could only hope that the first person he ran into wasn't… masculine.
"Hey, Gillhead!"
Aqualad sighed. Just about everybody called him Gillhead, but since that voice sounded a lot like Kid Flash, his next duty would be extremely unpleasant.
Kid Flash started to say something else. But he forgot what he was going to talk about when Aqualad leaned forward and pecked him on the cheek (he absolutely refused to kiss that bonehead on the lips).
Kid Flash didn't hesitate to react.
"Bleah, YUCK! DISGUSTING!" he spluttered, rubbing his wet cheek fiercely.
"My sentiments exactly," Aqualad agreed. He was making odd faces, trying to get the bad taste out of his mouth. Kid Flash didn't seem to notice.
"Are you nuts? What are you trying to do, punish me for calling you Gillhead?!"
Aqualad suddenly smirked as the proverbial light bulb went off over his head. Then he replied to Kid Flash's accusation with a simple, "Yes."
Kid Flash stared. He blinked. Finally, "So what you're saying is… if I ever call you Gillhead again… you'll kiss me."
The Atlantean nodded. Kid Flash stared for a second longer before shaking his head in confusion and wandering off, looking generally disturbed.
Aqualad just laughed.
---
Wonder Girl walked through the door.
Speedy had been watching that door very carefully all evening, waiting for his favorite Amazon to arrive. When the raven-haired heroine finally showed up, he grinned. Now was the perfect opportunity!
Smoothing his hair back, Speedy strolled forward to make his move.
Wonder Girl saw him coming and smiled brightly. True, Speedy was a jerk most of the time, but there was something about the Star City archer that she liked. Maybe it was his inherent recklessness, or the fact that he seemed lonely. In any case, she tried her best to be nice to him.
But as Speedy came closer, Wonder Girl sensed something about him that she rather wished she didn't.
"Merry Christmas, Wonder Doll," Speedy greeted with a big, charming smile. "Glad you could make it."
"I wouldn't miss it for anything. Is everyone here yet?"
"Nah, but who cares about Short Pants? We don't need him to have a good time. All we need is you, me, and that little ol' piece of mistletoe up there."
As Wonder Girl looked up to stare at the mistletoe, Speedy slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. She definitely noticed, but decided not to say anything about it for the time being. Instead, she observed slowly, "Ah, yes, mistletoe. Robin says it can be deadly if you eat it."
Speedy nearly sighed in exasperation.
"Why do you keep bringing Wonder Breath into this conversation?" he whined. "He's not even here! I, on the other hand, am. Who cares if the stupid plant is deadly? A kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it…"
The archer closed his eyes and leaned in as if to prove his point. Wonder Girl miraculously managed to avoid his lips and give him an all-too-sisterly kiss on the nose instead.
Speedy's eyes shot open. That wasn't exactly what he'd been hoping for. In fact, it wasn't even remotely close to what he'd been hoping for. And, judging by the way Wonder Girl was grinning at him, she knew it, too.
Speedy laughed good-naturedly.
"Oh, so you're playing hard-to-get, huh?"
He pulled her a little closer, and this time, Wonder Girl resisted.
"Speedy, why can't we just enjoy the party?" she hinted, trying to let him down gently. "There will be time for other things later. Besides, we're blocking the doorway."
"Who cares?" Speedy replied. He reached for Wonder Girl once again, and she took a careful step backwards.
"Speedy, I wish you would stop…"
"Why? Aren't you having fun?"
It was right about then that Speedy made the mistake of putting his hands back around the Amazon's waist, which is a very bad thing to do when an Amazon doesn't want your grubby mitts on her. Speedy found that out the hard way when Wonder Girl whipped out her lasso, tied him up, and left him hanging from the top of the Christmas tree.
"Well, I would have preferred an angel, but I guess you'll have to do," she thought aloud, unsuccessfully trying to keep the laughter out of her voice.
Speedy just grumbled, "I sure wish Robin would show up."
---
Meanwhile, down the hall, Robin had finally arrived at the Tower for the party. He was well aware of the fact that he was late, but it wasn't his fault. He'd wasted nearly fifteen minutes in the Cave arguing with Batman.
I should have known he'd win and saved myself the fifteen minutes, the Boy Wonder thought darkly.
Turning to look up at his mentor, Robin grumbled, "I don't know why you insisted on bringing me to the party, Batman. I've been to the Tower a million times! What makes Christmas Eve so different? Because something's telling me you didn't come here just to join the party."
"If you think I'm going to trust a bunch of irresponsible teenagers by themselves at an all-night party—"
"Hey, I promised to be home by eleven, and the Titans are not irresponsible!" Pause. "Well, okay, they can get a little wild sometimes, but it's nothing I can't handle. By myself."
The Dark Knight glared sternly at Robin, who sighed.
"Okay, fine, but promise me you'll leave as soon as we get to the rec room," pleaded the boy. "It'd be so embarrassing if everyone found out I had to be escorted to the party by my own senior partner…"
Finally, the duo arrived at the door of the rec/party room.
"Alright, we're here. Can you go now?" Robin hissed desperately.
Batman didn't have the chance to respond before someone in the rec room began yelling loudly. It sounded as if there was trouble.
As one, Batman and Robin raced into the room, only to stop short in the doorway. Turned out that the person who had been yelling was Speedy, and he didn't really have any particular trouble. Except if you include the fact that he was hanging from the top of the Christmas tree while the others tried to make a piñata out of him.
Robin stifled a giggle, his previous bad mood forgotten.
"A little wild, did you say?" Batman grunted. Robin just rolled his eyes and ignored him, wondering whether he should cut Speedy down or let the others have a little more fun with him first. Besides, how was he supposed to free Speedy when the only one who could operate the lasso was Wonder Girl? Oh well… what was a party without a piñata, anyway?
Speedy, however, did not seem to agree.
"C'mon, guys, cut it out!" he was yelling. "Beast Boy, quit poking me with that arrow, or I'll use it to turn you into a shish kabob! Cyborg, no—stop, Raven, stop!"
The archer stopped shouting just long enough to stare at the doorway, where Batman and Robin were still watching the action.
And then he burst out laughing.
Robin felt his face turn crimson as everybody fell silent and turned to stare at him. Great. Now they all knew that Batman had felt it necessary to bring him to the party like he was some little kid. He should have known this would happen!
After an uncomfortably long pause, Beast Boy broke the silence by hollering at the top of his lungs, "EEEEWWWWW, GROSS!!"
Then, much to the Boy Wonder's dismay, the other Titans added to the noise with loud, whooping laughter. The only one who didn't laugh was Raven, who just smirked evilly in the same way she had when she found out what Beast Boy's real name was, which was definitely a bad sign.
"See? I told you this would happen!" Robin grumped, his face an even brighter red than before.
"Robin."
"What."
"That's not what they're laughing at."
The boy noted that his partner was looking up at the ceiling, so he followed his mentor's gaze. What he saw did absolutely nothing to improve his mood. If anything, the blush in his cheeks spread towards his ears and all the way up to his hairline.
"Ummm…" Robin muttered, shuffling his feet slightly and suddenly looking rather awkward. His eyes never left the mistletoe hanging innocently above his head. "They don't actually expect us to… I mean we can't… that would be, like, harassment… molestation… or… well, holy desperation! It's gotta be something illegal!"
Batman glanced at the howling Titans, and then back at his own teenager.
"They're not going to stop until we do it," he observed quietly.
"Sure they will! You're Batman, for crying out loud! Just scare the spandex off 'em and they'll leave us alone."
"I thought you said you could handle the Titans. By yourself."
"Uh—well—" spluttered the Boy Wonder. "It's your fault! If you had trusted me to come down here alone then we wouldn't be in this mess!"
"You're their leader."
"Oh, well that's just fine!" Robin said hotly. He had to yell to be heard above the Titans' riotous laughter. "I've been leader of the Titans for two and a half years already, and you pick now to finally acknowledge the—"
The angry speech was interrupted when Gotham's vigilante unexpectedly bent down and placed a gentle kiss on top of Robin's head.
Batman left, leaving Robin standing there with his jaw hanging open.
The other Titans were equally stunned. Those who had been flying (like Starfire and Wonder Girl) promptly plummeted to the ground. Beast Boy, meanwhile, had fallen over as well. He might have hurt himself if Raven hadn't taken a cake from the buffet table and placed it on the floor in front of him to break his fall.
"Ooh, chocolate!" Beast Boy observed, and began to devour the rest of the cake.
"He did it…" Aqualad whispered, unable to believe his eyes. "I can't believe he did it…"
Speedy giggled a little from his spot on the tree. He wished he could tease his teammate about this, but in his present position, Robin would probably bop him with a Batarang. So he settled for snickering as the other Titans moved as one to join Robin under the mistletoe.
"It is good to see you, Friend Robin," Starfire greeted, curious as to why Robin hadn't moved yet.
"Uh, yeah," Robin said mechanically as he came out of his stupor. "Good to see you, too…"
"I don't suppose you'd appreciate it if I started singing about you and Bats sitting in a tree, would you?" Kid Flash asked with a big grin.
Robin glowered for a moment, but then he, too, started to smile.
"Don't get so smart, Twinkletoes. Look where you're standing."
The smile suddenly slipped off his masked face, and he reluctantly looked up to realize that he and Robin were situated directly under the mistletoe.
"If I ever find out who put that stupid plant up there…" the speedster grumbled, storming away from the troublesome spot.
"Merry Christmas to you, too," Robin laughed.
Kid Flash turned around for a second and allowed a little smile to replace the scowl.
"Yeah… Merry Christmas, Short Pants!"
The End
I hope I didn't weird you all out too much. And yes, those were lines from Batman Returns you read in the fifth section. C'mon, the whole kiss/mistletoe bit was just TOO appropriate! ;-)
Happy Holidays, everybody!!