I

Complications

April 2022

Fifteen is a difficult age for any girl: she has to juggle school work, friendship issues and boy troubles as well as trying to find her place in the world. Well for me, school work has never really been much of a problem, I may not be top of the class but I am confident about passing my upcoming OWL examinations, as for friendship issues, I have very few friends so there are very rarely many issues to deal with and as for boys? I have yet to have an actual boyfriend so there is no trouble in that area… so, life being the generous being it is, I have a different problem, a problem that could, in theory, affect all the areas of my life where I am presently problem-less.

I, Vivian Iris Nott, am pregnant.

Now when I said I have yet to have a boyfriend, I did not mean that I have never fooled around with boys before. Because – clearly – I have. This is not to say I am easy, I'm not, it's just that I'm not (or was not) against a little bit of fun every now and then. I never expected it to end up like this.

You hear about teenage pregnancies all the time and you always assume that they are uneducated and/or stupid; you definitely never think you will be one of them. Well I can tell you now, I am not uneducated and I am not stupid. I am simply unlucky. There is this thing you see, called a contraceptive spell, however it is not 100% fool proof (especially when you cast when you're a little bit tipsy which I might have been on this particular occasion). So now I'm pregnant and possibly in the biggest trouble I will ever be in. No joke. Have you ever heard of those families who believe sex out of wedlock is a sin, let alone a child out of wedlock? Right, well my family is one of those families and when my parents find out about this, either they or I will end up in a graveyard… or worse, St Mungo's.

So… you must be wondering, who is the father? Ah well here's the catch: he is none other than the famous and talented Albus Severus Potter.

And if you think it couldn't get any worse, try this: I am hopelessly in love with his older brother, James Sirius Potter.

Oh and just as an afterthought, did I mention that my dad was a death eater? You know the ones Mr Potter fought against.

So you see, my life is now very complicated whereas only a few minutes ago I had not a care in the world (except maybe being in love with James Potter). Now my entire existence has been turned upside down and I have no clue what I'm supposed to do right now. So I guess I'll start with the basics – lessons.

I wander out of the bathroom, leaving Myrtle howling behind me, and make my way to the dungeons for Potions. Oh and guess who I have Potions with, the brave hearted Gryffindors which includes Albus, his cousin Roxanne and his other cousin Rose (who hates me even more than your average Gryffindor, but why, I'm not entirely sure).

"You're late, Miss Nott," Professor Zabini hisses without looking up from his desk as I come in. Zabini is a friend of my fathers and Head of Slytherin, my House, so I know him pretty well but this does not account for his eerie knowledge of who comes in and out of his classroom door. "Sit down, Miss Nott and try not to disrupt our lesson further." He indicates to the one remaining seat in the classroom and my sadistic sense of humour causes me to laugh – he is indicating to the seat normally occupied by Max Jordan (who is currently confined to the Hospital Wing after a Quidditch accident). The table where I usually sit at the back of the classroom has been turned (temporarily, I hope) into a demonstrating table. I take my seat between a bored looking Albus and a furious looking Rose and pull out my books.

Zabini demonstrates how to make today's potion – Living Death, which I find rather fitting – and then writes the ingredients and instructions on the blackboard and returns to shuffling papers around his desk. Once I gather my ingredients I return to my new table and begin throwing them into my cauldron, Potions is my favourite subject simply because it is so ridiculously easy. Beside me, Rose is chopping mercilessly at some kind of root that I am positive is not one of the ingredients for this potion, her red hair getting extremely bushy as a result of the peculiar smelling smoke rising from her half empty cauldron – her potion, I'm guessing, is not going so well. Mine on the other hand is fine and I am finished with plenty of time to spare.

Our table is uncomfortably awkward, for them at least, I don't really care. No one says a thing as they struggle to get a reasonable looking potion, each looking like they have something pressing on their mind. Across from me, Roxanne keeps glaring at the table on the other side of the room where several Slytherin boys are successfully making their potions; Rose is getting more and more irate for no apparent reason (and in the meantime destroying her potion and, if she wasn't careful, her cauldron too) and Albus is just methodically chopping, cutting and pouring into his cauldron, not really caring what was happening, he looks as if someone had died.

"Very good, Miss Nott," Zabini's voice showed little enthusiasm. "I expect to see you here again next year for Potion's NEWTs."

"I'm not sure," I say, noticing Albus' head flick up. "My parents might have murdered me by then." I smile mockingly up at him and he walks off. Rose loses it and smashes her root (yes another root that does not go in this potion) so hard it skitters across the table and hits an unsuspecting boy in the back, who in turn, knocks into his table and sends his cauldron flying.

"Detention, Davis," is Zabini's only reaction. Davis, with the help of his slightly annoyed friends, is left to clear up the mess on his own. I snort and Rose glares at me, seriously, if looks could kill I would be dead a hundred times over. "Well Miss Nott," Zabini creeps up behind me again. "I am no longer sure if your potion is so good after all, I mean in contrast to whatever they are supposed to be," he indicated to the other three cauldrons on the table, "anything would look impressive. Weasley I suggest you stop with whatever atrocity you are attempting to make before you kill us all." He said, peering into Rose's cauldron, she flushes an even deeper shade of red and I can practically hear her teeth grinding.

As the lesson finishes, I escape first, heading down to the Slytherin common room to contemplate my fate. Muttering the password absentmindedly, I clamber into the dimly lit common room just as a couple of first years are trying to climb out. Upon seeing me, they hastily allow me through first, oh the joys of being a fifth year Slytherin – everyone assumes you are out to kill (or something a little less drastic). Some people hate the thought of being partly underwater, personally, I love it. The eerie green light is calming and gentle, my dormitory is one of the few with an underwater window and I love to lie on my bed and watch the creatures of the deep float by.

My dorm, as usual, is empty and I throw my bag on the floor and climb on my bed. I share the dorm with four other girls: Gwendolyn Goyle (who looks as stupid as her name sounds), Violet Briggs (the schools biggest bitch), Miriam Smith (nicknamed 'the silent slut') and Juliana Stone (who is abnormally short with an oversized head and stares at everything as if she has never seen it before).

So if you haven't gathered – I do not really like my dorm-mates. Ironically, the one I can put up with the most is Vi Briggs because she is the fount of all gossip and it's through her that I now know everyone's biggest secrets. I wonder if one day she will gossip about me.

"Alright Viv?" Violet asks as she walks in, her long white-blond hair swaying as she walks.

"Yeah, not bad," I lie. "You?"

"Amazing, you will never guess," I don't bother trying to as I know she is about to tell me anyway. "Rose Weasley got kicked off the Gryffindor Quidditch team this morning because Potter says she's too bossy and he is having trouble keeping his team in order because they're not sure who to listen to, Weasley or Potter, their captain. Imagine that, getting kicked off the team by your own cousin!" So that was the reason for Rose's foul temper earlier. "So are you packed?"

"Packed?"

"Yeah, for the holidays…" Vi looks at me as if I'm stupid. Great, the holidays, I had completely forgotten about that.

"Oh, right, yeah almost." I lie.

"Cool, I'll see you later, bye." She walks back out carrying her cloak over her arm.

Back to 'me' time, so… I'm not even sure what to think about. I'm pregnant, now what? Do I tell my parents when I go home? Do I even bother going home? Do I ever tell Potter the kid is his? Do I slap Rose Weasley around the face just to piss her off even more? Oh, I'm such a nice person but, whoa, I'm going off track. Pregnant. Pregnancy… baby… mother… dead. My mind works in mysterious ways.