Colors of the Wind
The sea is calm and seagulls shriek angrily, dive bombing at our heads; a perfect day for exploring, if you ask me. You see, I am captain of a ship and today is our day to set sail. My crew is loading supplies like cannon balls, guns and powder and of course food, for the long trip that is ahead of us. It was time to take off while last goodbyes were exchanged between lovers and husbands and wives and family. Hugs and kisses and tears, I saw it all. I strut in nonchalantly as my crew works fast, now scurrying about and putting it into overdrive when they first glance my way.
"Smith!" A thick Scottish accent echoes and floats down into my ears. "John Smith?" That's my name, don't wear it out, I think to myself proudly. I turn toward the sound and see thick red hair and a scruffy beard.
"Lon, we'll I'll be! Are you hitching along for the ride? You know, it's more comfy down belong, with all of our cargo. I could direct you there, if you want. I think you must be lost, lingering on deck in all your glory!" I beam. Lon laughs, big and hearty.
"Awe, you old joker! You haven't changed a bit."
"Neither have you, you big lug!" I spot a bushel of long black hair and I call out.
"Ben!" The hair turns into a face with an instant smile pasted there.
"Smith! What are you doing here?" Ben's heavy English accent with the same flow as mine questions.
"Didn't you hear? I am captain of this old lassie!" I smile big and wide as I come up the ramp to the ship and give the two of them bear hugs. "It's good to see you two good for nothing souls!" I pull back and begin looking around, searching for my best friend. I hope he could make it. I feel a small hand mess my blond hair. I turn around and see who I was looking for.
"Thomas!" I grab him by the back of the shirt and pull him toward me for a real hug.
"I told you I would make it, didn't I?"
"And I am glad you did. It is going to be a long ride over to Virginia and now that I have three of my best friends it will make it even better. Now hurry your asses and get to work, captains orders!" My face turns rock hard and my voice goes stern.
"Geez didn't know this captain would be so harsh." Lon whispers loudly and jabs his thumb in my direction.
"You heard him, captain's orders!" Thomas shouts to Ben and Lon, saluting me while smiling timidly. Ben and Lon cautiously do the same, eyeing me up. Finally I can't hold my composure any longer as I begin bubbling with laughter.
"I can't believe you thought I was serious!" Ben and Lon look as if they don't get it while Tomas is laughing as hard as I am. I stop laughing, realizing they aren't getting my drift. "Wait, you know I was serious, right?"
"Y-yeah, of course! Why wouldn't you be?" They say in unison. This makes me laugh the hardest.
"Well, we have to be off. Duty calls! See you around Captain Smith." Ben says as he winks at me.
"Later Smith." Lon salutes me, calling over his shoulder while walking away. Thomas is the last to say a farewell for now. I know it won't be quick.
"John, I am here by your side for everything, I've always been. It makes me proud to finally see you getting everything you could have wanted. Captain…" Thomas tips his cap and jogs to catch up to Lon and Ben. Almost everything, I mentally correct him.
Two hours ago we were off, away from the cheering people and into the open seas. It was sunny with a warm breeze in the air when suddenly it all changed in the blink of an eye. The wind picked up and dark clouds covered the bright blue sky. Rain began to fall, softly at first and then with rage and anger. The waves soared so high they towered over our heads. We had to work fast, tying down cannons and hauling supplies that were above deck to below, where it was safe and dry. The deck was now soaked to the core with buckets of water and it seemed as if the rain and the terror the waves would strike into my men's eyes would never end. Mother Nature sure it unpredictable, I thought as I tied down a sail. From the corner of my eye I caught Thomas struggling to keep a giant cannon-twice his weight-from going over the edge.
"Tie the rest of these down!" I screamed at a nearby sailor as I jump, sliding down on a rope and landing like a cat on my two feet. "Thomas!" I yell in his direction. He doesn't hear a word I am saying so I kept yelling louder and louder but it is no use. Then a wave, the size of a mountain, dive bombs onto my ship. Many men scurried toward a rope, wood or something sturdy to keep the wave from taking them with it. Thomas isn't looking; too busy trying to tie the cannon down, so the wave swipes him under.
"Jesus Christ…" I say under my breath. I search for him, wondering if his head will pop up to the surface. Knowing Thomas as long as I do, I knew he wouldn't let me down and he didn't; gasping for air, his red head pooped up to the surface. Barely getting through the word "help" he went under again.
"MAN OVER BOARD!" A sailor calls from the crow's nest way above. I shake my head, partly because I realized nobody was going to save my dear friend and second because I was going to have to be the hero, again! I tie a rope to my waist, releasing a sail that the rope was tying down. I take a deep breath and jump. Before my body hits the icy cold water I hear Lon call out: "Smith, what are you doing?" And Ben yells: "John, it's hopeless, he's lost forever!" Their lazy attempts to stop me weren't going to make a difference. He is my best friend you idiots! Wouldn't you do the same for me? Probably not, those wimps; too scared to throw an adventure into their lifestyle. I swim blindly and surprisingly, as my hand gropes through the back waters, I manage to find Thomas's limp body and drag it to the surface. He is breathing, a good sign. My men threw a rope into the water, I grab it and they pull both Thomas and I up to the decks surface. I could have kissed it, that's how glad I was to be back on a hard surface again. As soon as our bums land on the decks surface, Thomas grabs me and hugs me hard. He whimpers but doesn't let it show to the men he is scared; I feel the same way.
"John! Again you save my life. I must repay you in some way!" Thomas awes.
"Well, there is one thing you could do…" I say mischievously.
"Anything, I will do anything!"
"Nah, probably not your style." I try to shake it off. Thomas gets down on both knees and begs me.
"Captain John Smith, I will do all that is in my power to make this up to you; as I said before, anything!"
"Alright…You said anything, right?" Thomas nods eagerly. I pat his shoulder.
"Then learn to shoot." I stand up and walk away, leaving Thomas fumbling for a response and to bathe in his embarrassment.
"Land ho!" Shouts the sailor from the crow's nest. The millions of acres of land lie before us, just within our grasp. So much to explore! Wow, it's so beautiful and it soon shall be mine! The storm ended some time ago so the sun bakes the beige sand to a hot temperature. We dock and begin to pull the ship onto land. I am the first to set foot on it and feel the sand between my toes. None of the other men would ever appreciate how wonderful nature really is. Governor Ratcliff, the one actually in charge of this expedition, is second; along with his loyal servant, Wiggins. Governor stands tall, even with his fat figure. His pony tails, with neat pink bows, bounce up and down as he walks. He carries his annoying pit-bull in his right hand that looks as spoiled as can be.
"Get a load of that guy!" Ben whispers and giggles like a little girl. I nudge him in the ribs, harder than I meant to.
"Better quiet down, he has real good hearing." At that comment Ben straightens like there is a string attached to his head and blushes slightly. Governor Ratcliff looks over and narrows his greedy eyes suspiciously.
"Governor Ratcliff," I move to stand in front of him and greet him as politely as I can muster. "Pretty nice land we have found, isn't it?"
"Hmm…quite." He dismisses me with just two words and begins to make orders. Who does he think he, is the boss? Oh wait, he is.
"You, over there, set up my living quarters. Hurry up, we don't have all day! It looks like it is going to rain and I don't want to get my new jacket all wet!" The three men he ordered shrug their shoulders but did as he asked. "And you! What do you think you are doing? Stop dilly-dawdling and start unloading the cargo! We are going to be here for months!" Five more go do his biddings. I can't believe me eyes as Governor Ratcliff sprays "fairy dust" on each and every single one of my men! They are under his total control, like his robots that he can play with whenever he wants, just like a bratty kid; actually, a perfect way to describe him. I don't want to become his robot too so I decide I better head out, do some exploring because that is exactly what my brain and body are craving.
"Governor Ratcliff, I was thinking I would do a bit of exploring. Get a feel for the land and search for savages." I ask a bit scared for his answer. Governor Ratcliff looks absolutely delighted.
"My boy, you just read my mind! That is a great idea! Those savages could be hiding anywhere; best get started as soon as you can to find where their base is."
"Yes, just what I was thinking, sir."
"Don't suck up to me Smith; nobody likes those kinds of people. And anyways, we all know it was completely all my idea."
"Of course sir, my apologies."
"Quite alright my boy, just don't do it again. Oh and remember to take a gun. Shoot them right away if you spot any."
"Yes sir." I turn on my heel and begin to head out.
"The rest of you, grab a shovel and start searching for gold!" I hear Governor Ratcliff say before I am out of ear shot. Gold? Well, if they do find any I want at least half of the share!
I started exploring but not for savages. To tell you the truth, I love every detail of nature. I can't help myself from going on daring adventures and letting my wild side get to me. I had begun hiking up a very steep mountain, a lot of hard work. Sweat swam down my back as the humidity in the air got very intense. I stopped for a break by a large tree that provided huge amounts of shade. I poured water down my face and let it cling to my hair. I breathed in the sweet, clean air and let my muscles relax. That moment didn't last for long as I heard a rustling in a bush. I got out my pocket knife that I kept in my boot and swung it out in a defensive stance. A raccoon burst out from the bushes and landed on my face.
"What the…?" I yelled as the creature scratched and clawed at my face. I pushed the little devil off and held my wounded face in my hands. I held the dagger to the raccoon's chest, ready to gut the little bugger. I held him in place and pulled back…but I couldn't do it. The look on his face had me throw away the thought. I pull the dagger back and sit down on the hard, cold floor beneath me. The raccoon timidly makes its way towards me and sets a paw on my leg. I pat its head and it purrs.
"You aren't all that tough, are you?" The raccoon nudges my hand and licks his lips. "Are you hungry? Here, take these crackers. Don't know if you'll like them much, they are so dry." The raccoon takes the cracker and stuffs it in his mouth. Once he is finished, he turns my hand over, looking for more. "You like them? Well here, you can have all of them. I need something other than crackers to satisfy my taste buds…" I say, mostly to myself. I hand over the rest of the crackers that he gobbles up instantly. "See you later, bud." I ruffle the raccoon's fur and head toward the rapids. He follows me a few steps, looks back and thinks better of it. He returns to the bush and vanishes within the branches. I hike for another hour or so until I get to the very bottom of the rapids, where they end. Down below, the water starts to get calm while the only sound I hear is the consent flow of the water fall, a few feet away from where I dip my hands into the cool water to take a drink. I wipe the sweat from my forehead to prevent it from dripping into my eyes. Without warning, I hear a twig snap. I know it isn't the raccoon, it was too cautious. So I know it is a savage, I know I have been followed. I continue on with dowsing myself in water, like nothing had happened. I carefully touched my gun with my pinky finger, stroking it with a gentle touch. I wasn't going to shoot any savages today; no blood to be spilled on these grounds, the soil is too precious for that. I was just going to scare them off. There was probably only one or two that had followed me, nothing I couldn't handle. I slowly, so slowly, reach for my gun and put it into my hands. I grip the butt and spin lightning fast, aiming directly for the savages head. As my gaze focuses, I see it is just a woman, about my age. She is the most beautiful creature my eyes have ever devoured. With her black as night hair that reach her thighs and her mocha colored skin, bringing the best from her mysterious and curious brown eyes. She stares at me, with a look that could silence a room; her gaze teasing saying, "I dare you." She wears a hand woven dress that highlighted her legs that seemed to go on forever. The warm breeze whipped her hair around her face, almost like it was caressing it. I lower my gun and try to catch her eyes to look into mine. But, she won't, she just examines the gun by my side. I want to get to know her and what she was about, just by examining her curvy figure. I cautiously begin to move toward her, just as if I was hunting and I didn't want to scare whatever I was going to shoot off. But, in this situation I didn't want to shoot her, I just wanted to shake her hand and talk. Never have I told anyone that I have always wanted to talk to a savage. If I did I would surely be killed. I was almost standing in front of her when she turns and sprints as fast as her legs will go.
"Wait!" I call. "Please! I'm not going to hurt you; all I want to do is talk! I promise." I say as I run after her. She climbs a huge oak tree and goes right to the top. "Come down from there, would you?" She speaks in her native tongue and hisses. "Ah, I bet you don't understand a word I am saying, do you?" I say softly. "I'm sorry I scared you…" I slide down the bark of the tree and land with a thud. The only thing I can feel is regret. I feel this because I have killed so many of her kind. I remember each shot I took, as I aimed for their heads and hearts. The warriors. Bang! The leaders. Bang! The men. Bang! The women and children. Bang! Bang! And the insect newborns. Bang! I had shot at every single one of them and not feel anything for murdering them until now; until I really thought about what I had done. I can picture the look on their faces or what their last words were. Some screamed, some prayed and some said nothing. The ones who said nothing, those are the people I will remember forever. They saw I was going to shoot them and they would stand so still, not even breathing. They would look me right in the eyes and glare. Then I would shoot them and it would be over with. I remember the smell; the wrench of rotting bodies would last in the air for at least a week, even though we had gotten rid of them. There was so much blood that stained the brown soil… What have I done? Why would we treat people like this? They had done nothing to us, but still we murder their communities, their families, their friends, and kill off their culture. I start to sob, not very manly of me but the pain and the memories are too much for me to handle. The tears came not at command, but by themselves so I could not stop them. I put my face in my hands to hide my shame. Grown men don't cry, they suck it up and move on; to brave and proud to be a sissy. I hear the savage come down from the tree, maybe she knew she could trust me now that she knew a white man could cry. She landed swiftly beside my feet. I looked up from my hands, not bothering to wipe the tears from my face. She tilts her head to the side and speaks in her native language again. She's crouching beside me, now, and begins wiping the tears away. I nod thanks.
"I'm John Smith." I say with a stuffy nose. "What's your name?" She closes her eyes as the wind ruffles her hair. "What are you doing?" I ask quietly. She keeps her eyes closed for a few more seconds until they pop open, reviling her beautiful dark eyes that hold so many secrets. She clears her throat and looks me in the eyes.
"Pocahontas." Her soft, brave voice speaks as clear as water. She looks satisfied with herself. I, on the other hand, am astounded.
"P-pardon?" I stutter.
"I said, my name is Pocahontas. Nice to meet you, John Smith, a very odd name, I must add." I drop my mouth and close it quickly. "What? Never heard a savage speak English before, white man?" She makes the last two words she speaks longer and tastes the syllables.
"Actually no, to be honest." I chuckle. "So, how do you…?"
"Know English? It's quite simple actually. My mother taught me English throughout my childhood years. She's dead now…"
"I am so sorry to hear that." I can't think of anything else to say. She shrugs her shoulders and brushes it off.
"So, if we are being honest, why were you crying?" I look uncomfortable and squirm under her gaze.
"I'd rather not talk about it…"
"Hmm…suite yourself." She examines her nails and looks up through her eyelashes. "So, what are you doing with our land? You've ruined it you know." I look confused.
"What are you talking about?"
"You don't know, do you?"
"Know what?" Pocahontas groans and nods her head toward the tree she had just climbed as fast as a monkey.
"Follow me…" She begins ascending, just like a pro. While I am left in the dust, taking things as slow as a tortoise. "Hurry up, slow poke!" She calls from above. I finally make it to the top, panting and hot. "Look." Pocahontas points toward the horizon and I gasp in horror. Where there used to be trees and grass is now dirt and dust. It's so bland with the color and life sucked right out of it.
"I didn't do this." I try to explain but she doesn't listen.
"Your people think you can clam any land you pick. You don't think about who was actually hear first. You've ruined the beauty that as once here."
"I guess we think we can improve your housing and lifestyle, somehow…." I shake my head, such a stupid idea now.
"Because we aren't like you. We are different and so you want to change that. It's unnatural to you so you kill my people by the color of their skin. And you dare call us savages?"
"I'm sorry."
"No, you aren't. You are just saying that to calm me. I won't be calm because my people deserve rights too! We are human beings just like you and we are alike in more ways than you think. We wish for peace while you bring war. Sometimes I wonder if we are the ones who know more knowledge than you. Sometimes I think we should be the ones to teach you instead of the other way around…"
"Why are you getting mad at me? I didn't do anything."
"Huh…if you didn't do anything wrong than why did you cry? If a man cries he always has something he is hiding. I see it in your eyes and I can hear it is you voice. Don't try to fool me. I know your kind more than meets the eye." She says, with her chin risen our of pride.
"You are very wise Pocahontas."
"Some say I get it from my mother. My father says I remind him of her. He wants me to be like her but I don't know if I want to."
"Why is that?"
"Because my mother let her father choose her path for her. She didn't get to fulfill her dreams and ambitions like I intend to do. She didn't get to choose her own path."
"What path are you going to choose?"
"Well, my father wants me to choose a path that is as smooth as a river. But a river isn't smooth at all! It's filled with so much life and movement. Even though it seems like its calm at one point there is always that rough part to it. And beneath the water, wow! You should see how much life is down there! You just have to look closer in order to see it. My mother took the easy and smoothest course. I want to take the hard and rough course, because it is a challenge and there always something to look forward around every river bend. It isn't as predictable and it has many surprises. I like surprises." Pocahontas lets herself brew in her thoughts and think about it for a while. "John Smith, if you aren't like your people then why do you let them do such a thing to our land? Why don't you speak up and stand up for what you believe in. That would be the right thing to do, wouldn't it?" I swing my leg back and forth, as it is hanging over the branch. I think about how to put my words delicately.
"It isn't that simple. I have gotten this far in my career and if I were to say something it would all come crashing down. And it would be one against a million. Nobody would take my side."
"I would."
"You would? But, why?"
"You are wise, John Smith. You know what is right and wrong but you don't speak your mind. It is good sometimes to keep your mouth closed but not when there are people's lives at risk. You have a lot of good ideas up here," She touches my forehead. "You just need to know how to use it through this." She says as she touches my lips. I can still feel where she traces them, as it lingers even after she releases her soft motherly touch. I clear my throat.
"So what are we going to do?" I ask.
"If your men truly want to help us they will talk to my father face to face, not with war. Your men only think about industry and being bigger, better and richer. But you and I, we see the beauty in this old sycamore tree; that's something we share in common. They can't see that. They cut it down and don't see how tall it can grow one day." She bites her lip. "What if we negotiated? They can be bigger and better but not damage the land in such a way that it would affect our lives. You could teach us and we could teach you. Do you think it could work?"
"I think it is a wonderful idea. I don't know if my men would listen, though."
"Then you must make them listen. Like I told you, use your brain and mouth, not your muscles." Pocahontas stops in her tracks and listens.
"What is it?"
"The drums! They mean trouble. I need to go. It was nice to meet you John Smith. We will meet here tonight, when the sun goes down. No sooner, no later." She starts to climb down and then comes back up. "I knew there was at least one good white man around here. Thank you. If feels good that someone can listen to me, other than my own people." She plants a kiss on my cheek. "See you around, John." She whispers in my ear. And then she is gone without a second glace back. What a women, I think after her. Justice shall be served tonight!
I head back to camp and the damage they had done was even worse up close. I went straight to Governor Radcliffe's headquarters, in order to try to talk him into seeing Pocahontas's father. Governor was so racist toward savages and greedy about gold, I don't think he would even listen. But I would at least have to try. I stood outside of the curtains to his living quarters, took a deep breath and pushed past. Governor Radcliffe looked angry, with his face puffy and red; looking as if it might explode at any second.
"Where is that damn gold?" He screams and kicks his map stand aside. "It has to be here! I cannot be a failure, again!" He throws his head on the table dramatically and stays there for a while.
"Uh, sir?" I say.
"What is it now, Smith?" Comes his muffled response. "Can't you see I'm busy trying to figure out where this gold is? Is it really that important that you had to bug me?"
"Uh, yes sir. I believe it is, anyway."
"Go on, then! I don't have all day!" His head perks off the table and he stares right through me, looking impatient.
"Right, uh, well I was hoping that you might find it in your heart to speak to a savage, face to face I mean. I know you are awful busy, but it won't take that long. I hope, at least."
"A SAVAGE?" He yells. He stands and smacks his hands on the table. I jump and quickly compose myself. "Why on Earth would I want to talk to a savage? Those dirty, conniving thieves! They're barely even human!"
"Yes, I know you think that is what they are but…."
"Oh, I don't think Smith, I know. I have seen it with my own two eyes." He pauses, pacing slowly. "Are you trying to say what I think you are? You actually care about the savages, Smith? Because if you don't please correct me. I feel as if we aren't on the same page right now." He pauses to pick a piece of food from his teeth but proceeds. "Tell me if I am wrong. I really do hope I am wronged because any white man who is standing on this ground, telling me that they think savages are the same as us; with the same qualities and common interests, well, my boy, that person would be good as dead. Literally, I would shoot them myself, on the spot." I look down at my shoes and say nothing, going past Pocahontas's wishes and rules. "That's what I thought I heard." Governor goes back to looking at his map. After a little while, he begins mumbling nonsense to himself. "Hmm…Smith? I do believe I have found the solution to why we can't find any gold. It was right in front of my eyes. It's all clear now…" He looks toward me with a twinkle his eye. "The gold is here, we just haven't been looking in the right places. The savages have the gold! Yes, that's it! They have been hiding it from us all this time. They are being greedy and don't want to share, as they always do. Well, if they aren't going to share that means war, doesn't it?" I nod, still staring at my shoes. "Good talks we have, Smith. Good talks. You are dismissed." He gives me a wave from his hand toward the door and says no more. I feel ashamed of what I have just done. I am a true chicken.
Later on, when it gets dark, I pretend to go to sleep and turn off my lamp. I wait a couple of seconds and then I sneak out. Thomas, Lon and Ben are on night-watch, sitting around a camp fire and drinking beer. I stick to the dark and maneuver my way around the light. I try not to let the light from the fire cast my shadow. I finally get to the exit of our shelter from wildlife, looking behind to see if any were to follow. Nobody seems to know I am gone so I head out. I am so excited to see Pocahontas again, so I begin sprinting. I want to hear her wise words and listen to all she has to say. I especially want to hold her close and kiss her soft lips. But, as I begin to fantasize more about the presence of Pocahontas I am afraid of what she will say when I tell her my men want to cast war on her people. She will truly be angry and I hope and pray to the Gods that she won't slap me. I finally get to the tree that we met earlier this morning, realizing I am the first one here. I climb the tree and sit in a branch, scouting for her figure and listening for her footsteps. I wait and wait and wait and wait some more. When I think she won't show she arrives. She looks around and sees no one, as she cannot see me.
"John?" She calls. "John Smith? Are you hiding? Because if you are and scare me I will kill you with my bare hands!" I chuckle quietly and begin climbing down. I jump and land in front of her. "There you are! What were you doing up there? It awfully dangerous, you know. You could have broken something." She tsks.
"Probably, but isn't that what living on the dangerous side is all about; almost breaking a limb, sneaking out against orders and exploding the most exquisite pieces of land that have snakes that could kill you with one nip? It's a pretty good life, if you ask me." I say as I lay on my back with my arms behind my head.
"Hmm… that sounds really great, actually. Being able to do whatever you want. I wish I had that privilege." She lies down next to me and sighs. "The lights in the sky are extra bright tonight. I know my mother is up there, looking down on me. Because she is up there because the lights twinkle. My mother's eyes always used to twinkle when she was happy." Suddenly a strong breeze rips through the air and rustles the trees and our hair. "Did you feel that? My mother, I felt her presence in the wind. My father always tells me that when someone dies they aren't eternally gone forever. Their body might not walk among us but their spirit will always live in us and around us, in everything we see." She closes her eyes and listens, maybe in thought. "Grandmother Willow always tells me to listen with my heart. I listened with my heart when I met you, John Smith. I have always had a good feeling about you…" She smiles, a beauty. I have the urge to kiss her at that moment but I hold back.
"Who is Grandmother Willow?" I swallow.
"She is an old tree and alive. You have to see it to believe it."
"You will have to show me her one time."
"I think maybe I will." At that moment I want to show her something that I had never shown anyone before.
"Do you want to see something spectacular?" I ask.
"Like what?" She questions.
"You will have to follow me in order to find out."
"But…"
"No, ands, ifs or buts. Common, it will be fun."
"Alright!" She gives in. I sit up and stand to my feet. I help Pocahontas up and we begin to run. I take her hand and we run even faster. We come to a hill and roll down it, laughing all the way down. She lands on top of me, comes so close to kissing me but then gets up, takes my hand and starts to run again. We jump over streams as we begin going higher and higher. We finally get to the very top, laughing so hard we cry. We fall to the soft grass and lie side by side. A shooting star flashes across the sky.
"What was that?" Pocahontas asks.
"A shooting star. Hurry, close your eyes and make a wish, quick!" I close my eyes and she does the same. Her hand slides into mine in the process and she squeezes. I squeeze back.
"What did you wish for?"
"I can't say. It's against the rules." I tease.
"There are no rules for 'shooting stars,' as you call them. Who in the world has rules for that?"
"My country, I guess. Fine, if you don't want to obey the rules than you tell me what you wished for!" Pocahontas blushes.
"It's embarrassing…"
"See! That is why we make a rule for that, because people want privacy on their wishes."
"Interesting…Is this all you wanted to show me? I have seen it all before, you know."
"This isn't all. Come over here, look over the edge." I say getting up and not letting go of her hand. We both look over the edge and stare in complete awe. Over the edge is a waterfall, with the calmest water you would ever imagine. The light of the moon makes the water glimmer and sparkle. The waterfalls endless flow makes a lovely splashing sound as it hits the ground below.
"Wow…" Pocahontas says.
"I know. And guess what we are going to do?"
"What?"
"We are going to jump off this cliff and dive into the water below." I say, excitedly.
"You're crazy…"
"Not as crazy as this!" I grab her hand and pull her down with me as we begin falling. She screams and I join in. I laugh and we hit the water. I am the first to come up. I laugh and look for Pocahontas. She doesn't pop up and I panic.
"Pocahontas?" I yell. "Pocahontas, this isn't funny!" She pops up behind me and pushes me under. I come up and cough up water. "What was that for?" I say and she answers by spitting water in my face. "Alright, that was too far." I splash water at her face but she is too fast. I go under and catch her leg but she squirms away. I wait for her to come up and then I splash her. Direct hit! I swim away and head toward the waterfall. I go under and find a cave. I wait for Pocahontas to catch up and then I grab me and pull her close, getting serious.
"That was a jerk move." She says as she puts her arms around my head and I pull her closer. "You got my best dress all wet and my hair too. Girls don't like it when they are forced to get wet."
"But you have to admit, that was really fun."
"Yes, it was; just what I needed actually."
"Good." I say and kiss her. She kisses me back and I feel completely fulfilled. She breaks away first.
"You never told me what your men said." She says. I know this was going to totally spoil the mood but I had to be honest.
"I talked to the Governor and he thinks your people are being greedy and keeping all the gold to yourself."
"Gold?"
"It's hard and it comes from the ground."
"Oh, gold! Yeah, we have lots of that. But you sure do have a strange name for it. We call it corn." I laugh.
"No, that isn't it. It is like this." I pull a gold coin from my wet pocket and hand it to her. She unloosens one arm from my neck to hold the coin.
"Hmm…nope. We don't have any of that around here, not that I have seen anyways."
"Ah, just what I thought. So anyway, Governor wants to start a war on your people, unless you share your gold; which you have none, so it is hopeless."
"You didn't use this did you?" She says as she kisses my lips.
"No, I didn't." I kiss her again and look into her eyes. "What did you father say?"
"He doesn't want to talk to your people either. I guess he stereotypes your men as much as you do to my people."
"That's another thing we have in common."
"Not a very good thing to have in common, though."
"Yes, that is true." Pocahontas shivers.
"Time to go?"
"I guess that is what my body is trying to tell me. But, I can't leave you…" She nuzzles her head into my neck.
"Then don't." I whisper.
"I must…Father will be worrying and I don't want a whole search team out looking for me."
"Then, meet me tomorrow morning, at sunrise. You can show me Grandmother Willow."
"You can only see her if you allow yourself to open up your heart. Only if you're ready, that's when you will be able to see her."
"Do you think I am ready, Pocahontas?"
"As ready as you'll ever be. Now, I must be off John." She hugs me and I hold her close.
"The faster you close your eyes the quicker the sun shall rise and we will be together once more. I promise."
"Isn't that supposed to be my line?"
"Can't I be as wise as you?"
"Not unless you earn it." I kiss her and she relaxes.
"Have I earned it now?"
"Not quite." I kiss her again.
"How about now?"
"I will think about it." I laugh and kiss her again.
"You always know how to lift my spirit, Pocahontas."
"I try. Really, I must be going." She unlatches herself from my body and heads toward the opening. "Well? Aren't you coming?"
"Always." I take her hand and we swim to shore; parting our ways when it comes time and hoping that the sun will rise soon.
I run. That is all I think about, running. Running toward the exit and getting close to Pocahontas with each stride. Nobody is up quite yet so I make a run for it. I grab an apple off a nearby tree, take a bite and let the juices spray down my chin.
"John, where are you heading off to in such a hurry?" A familiar voice comes from behind me. I wipe the sticky juice from my chin and set my jaw, annoyed.
"Thomas? What are you doing up at this hour?"
"I should ask you the same question."
"Thomas, please don't tell anyone. I will give you my share of gold if you don't tell a soul."
"Promise?"
"Yes, cross my heart."
"Okay but you owe me, big time." I start to back up.
"Got it." I turn and run to a sprint.
"Big time, my friend. Big time!" Thomas calls after me.
"I heard you the first time!" I call over my shoulder. I run until I reach our meeting place and Pocahontas is already there, leaning against a tree, nonchalantly.
"Your late." She says, almost angry.
"Sorry, Thomas almost found out where I was going and…" Pocahontas moves close to me and puts her hands on my chest, stopping me from speaking. "What?" I ask, as my breath catches in my throat.
"Hmm? Oh, nothing. I don't really care why you are late, I am just glad you came."
"And I am glad you aren't mad."
"I can never stay mad at you for long." I push her against the tree and kiss her with all my might; so many feelings unraveling with one kiss. "Wait, wait!" She pushes me off.
"What's wrong?"
"You came to see Grandmother Willow, not me."
"I came to see both; can't I do that all in one?" I move toward her but again I am pushed away.
"Yes, but you need to be focused; not with thoughts of me dangling in your head."
"Alright. I'll focus now, even if I want to kiss you badly right now."
"Me too…" Her voice travels off but she shakes her head to clear her mind. "We will save it for another time. And stop trying to trick me into kissing you! You are making my brain all fogged up."
"Ok, ok! Sorry."
"Now, shake all of the thoughts and stress that is in your head and try to think of absolutely nothing." Her tone means business so I zip my lips.
"Ok, now what?"
"Close your eyes and relax your shoulders. Listen with your heart. Hear your surroundings and concentrate only on your breathing." I do as I am asked and wait. "Now, open your eyes." Her breath tickles my ear and I feel the warmth radiating from her body as she rests her chin on my shoulder. But, I push the thoughts away and focus, harder than I ever had before. When I am ready and calm, I open my eyes. I am looking at a tree and at first I see nothing but as I look closer I see a face starting to form. The face looks like my grandmothers, the years she has gone through show and her eyes are filled with knowledge and understanding. She smiles with her thin lips and tilts her head to get a closer look at me. The face vanishes as fast as it came. I look over at Pocahontas for support.
"Look again." Is all she says, I do and again I see the grandmother's face, clear as ever. This time it stays there.
"Did you….?" Pocahontas nods and pushes me toward the tree. I have to look upward in order to see into her eyes.
"Hello, child. My, Pocahontas, you've snagged yourself a mighty fine catch. So strong. So brave and adventurous. So handsome!"
"Oh, I like her!" I say.
"I thought you would." Pocahontas says quietly. Grandmother Willow closes her eyes briefly and listens. Her eyes pop open and she looks anxious.
"They are here! Hurry, hid behind me! Quickly now, we don't have much time!" Pocahontas and I hurry to stay hidden, as we press ourselves against the tree. I hold Pocahontas tight, as we hold our breath. I sneak a peek to see who it might be and I see Lon and Ben, looking so scared they grip their guns tight and dart their eyes back and forth.
"They must have followed us here." I whisper into Pocahontas's ear.
"I don't trust them. I thought you said they are your friends?"
"They are…"
"Then why are they hunting us down, with strange weapons in their hands?"
"I am thinking Governor Ratcliff is behind this."
"When I get my hands on him, I tell you…"
"You don't want to mess with him. He is more powerful than he seems."
"I don't see anything powerful about a greedy, racist, mean fat man acting like a two year old half the time. And you said he wears pink bows in his hair? In my community if a man is seen wearing bows he is a discarded like trash among my people. Yeah, he sure sounds all mighty and powerful."
"Shhh!" I smother my giggles. "They will hear us."
"Oh right, them." She says with disgust. "Grandmother Willow will get rid of them soon enough." Just as she speaks Grandmother Willow moves her roots upward to trip Ben and Lon. They swear and blame each other but look back just in time to see the roots settle back into place. A look of shock and fright spreads across their faces as they are whipped with vines on their behinds and run back where they came from. I laugh as I see them running for their life but disappointed that I was too far away to see what they were saying.
"They are a joke! You call them soldiers? I true disgrace." Pocahontas shakes her head and clicks her tongue.
"Huh! Wait till you see them in action. It's a laugh."
"Now, now. No time for small talk. Pocahontas, I know you have something to tell John. You've told me about it earlier and it sounds like a splendid idea. Please, do tell." Grandmother Willow pushes us to move along with it, I can feel her jitters shake the Earth.
"Yes, please do. What is it?" I take her hands in mine and wait until she is ready to tell.
"Well, you probably won't agree to it but I was wondering if you could talk to my father." She scratches the back of her head awkwardly and avoids my eyes. "It sounds really stupid but I think that if you could talk him out of going to war I would be so grateful…" She still doesn't look me in the eye while she speaks. I know she is embarrassed to ask this but I don't mind one bit. I take her chin and make her look me in the eyes.
"Nothing you say or do could ever be stupid…" I say, truthfully.
"If you say so…" she says while her bashfulness shines through. "But what do you think? Do you think you could do it?"
"It would be awfully hard, but I need payment."
"Like what?"
"Oh, I don't know. But, you'll think of something, I'm sure." I say seductively and Pocahontas cues it.
"How about I pay you right now? Get it out of the way?"
"Fine with me…" I am inches from her lips when Grandmother Willow clears her throat uncomfortably, spoiling the mood.
"No time for fooling around right now, my children. Time never stops moving and you're wasting very precious seconds. Get going!" She shoos us away with her vines and we move away, holding hands.
"My father is away to talk to his allies. Tomorrow morning he should be back. We can meet then."
"Same time and place?"
"Always…" I kiss her and hold her close, never wanting to let her go.
"I love you." I say, taking myself and her off guard. Her body tightens and she pulls away from my embrace. "Err…I mean…." But it's too late. I cannot take back what I had already said or rewind time. Pocahontas quiets me by putting a finger to my lips.
"I can feel by the way you said it that you meant it. And I am so overjoyed. And I feel it is appropriate to say it back because I feel the same way." My heart swells. "I love you John Smith." She smiles and tilts her head to the sky. "I love John Smith!" She screams to the heavens. I laugh.
"Why did you do that?"
"Because I am tired of hiding. I don't want to conceal us from the world, why should we? I want to let the whole wide world know that you are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. We can't keep running from our different backgrounds. It is going to feel great to not keep this secret from my father. You are my life, John Smith and I want nothing else."
"Long enough speech, I thought you would never stop talking." She punches me in the side of the ribs.
"Be quiet, you would have done the same, you big baby!" She sticks her tongue out.
"I love you, I truly do."
"Can you prove it? Can you top my 'very long boring speech," as you put it?"
"I did not call it boring!"
"Oh, I can read minds, didn't you hear? I heard you think it."
"Hmm….then what am I thinking about right now?"
"That you are surprised and trying to think of a way to prove to me that you love me."
"You got it right in the dot!"
"So? Get on with it! I am staring to get the chills and Kokum is expecting me."
"Are you cheating on me? Are you ditching me for him?"
"I will if you don't give me an answer."
"Ok, ok! I am going. Hold your horses!" Pocahontas taps her foot and crosses her arms.
"Waiting!"
"Can you help me out?"
"Fine! Yell to the world that you love me, just like I did."
"Ok." I smile. "I love you." I whisper in her ear.
"Hey! That wasn't to the world! Cheater!"
"Oh, but it was. You know why?"
"Why is that John Smith?"
"Because you are my world." Pocahontas stares at me with her jaw dropped.
"Ok, I have to admit that was better than mine."
"Told you."
"Till next time, my love." She kisses me on the lips and starts to walk away.
"I love you with all my heart!"
"You already said that four thousand times already!"
"So did you!"
"So, are we even?"
"For now…" I smirk. Pocahontas blows me a kiss and we walk our separate paths to our people.
I wonder back to camp, my head in the clouds and my mind still floating over the image of my Pocahontas. She loves me and I love her! All that is keeping us apart is our people and our backgrounds… I kick up dust with anger. I look up and realize my feet have walked by themselves and ended up in Governor Ratcliff's tent. I look down at my feet and mentally scold them. And then I do the same to my thoughts. Just as I think his name, Governor Ratcliff poofs in like a genie; with a devil smile singing on his chubby face. My ears tune in and I hear him humming tune. Then he starts singing; which is awful, with an ear splitting, off key sound that make you want to put your head into the ground until it stops.
"Savages, savages; barely even human. Now we must sound the drums of war!" The tune sounds harsh and mad, making it one of the reasons I don't like it one bit. He waves his hands franticly in the air, trying to master the art of jazz hands and bows when he realizes he has an audience. I look at this man who calls himself proper and feel like throwing up in utter disgust. I hold onto some sort of balance within me and grasp it with all my might.
"Where did you learn that…that song?" I stutter.
"Oh, you like it? I made it myself. I think it expresses how I really feel toward those beasts who are somewhere just a few miles from us, don't you think?"
"Quite…" I say quietly. I was about to protest and shake my head that I absolutely hate that song but I remember it might blow my cover so I push the voice down, saving it for another time.
"What have you been up to, Smith? I saw you sneaking around camp. If you have any information about the savages I would be delighted to hear it!" Governor Ratcliff sits down on a love set, blinking his eyelashes like a little school girl and eyes pleading of me to tell him. I scratch my head and feel rather awkward.
"Umm…well no sir. I haven't been able to locate where their base camp is, just yet. I have been searching for them day and night. The reason I have been sneaking around is because, well… I didn't want any of the men to follow me and blow my cover. I was going to let it be a surprise to you when I found information but now all of that has gone down the drain." I pretend to be sad and lower my head.
"Oh no, my boy, I didn't hear a word you said!" he winks and lifts his nose in the air. "Please be off with whatever business you have." I pretend that I'm happy and let my eyes shine with approval from the "Almighty." Governor Ratcliff plugs his ears and turns away, humming the terrible song. I back away slowly and when I am our of eye sight I run. I have to tell Pocahontas of the news! I have to find her, but how? I run, as if I can count on it to solve everything. It seems to be the only thing I spend my free time doing. I screech to a stop at the towering sycamore tree and catch my breath, with my hands on my knees.
"Grand….grand…"I pant and swallow, rushing to get my words out into open air. "Grandmother Willow?" I call and her face forms with worry and motherliness.
"What is it, child? What's wrong?" Her voice is smooth and at ease; it has a calm and soothing aurora to it.
"I need to speak to Pocahontas as soon as possible! Could you please tell me where I can find her?"
"Tell me what is wrong, child, so I know what you have to tell her. Aren't you going to see her tonight?"
"Yes, I am. So please, it's very urgent."
"Tell me and I will alert her before you get there." I sigh and talk as fast as I can.
"Governor Ratcliff is planning on attacking your people tonight or tomorrow night. Your people won't stand a chance because we have cannons, guns, machetes, knifes, swords….every evil weapon that you can imagine, we have it. I have to tell Pocahontas's father so as least your people have a chance of escaping or hiding so I can move my people off your land."
"A change of heart, eh John Smith? You are a good man; I see it in your heart as it flows within you. If Pocahontas is listening with her heart, she will understand and come. But, if not in time, head north until you reach a corn patch, there will be stalks of corn heads that go on for miles. That is where you will find her picking corn for her people, as she does every day. Now hurry, time isn't on your side at the moment but I am sure if you run fast and believe you will catch up with it."
"I owe you the biggest gratitude a man can give. I thank you so very much." I turn and run, pumping my arms and legs.
"John Smith, wait! There is one more thing you should know!" I don't quite hear her and I don't want to stop. I feel the earth rumble with her frustration and anger. I make a mental note to apologize when this is all said and done. I run faster and faster, my breath in gasps and my limbs like jello, but I can't stop; I mustn't. Finally, of what seems like forever, I reach the corn field. I slow my pace, fix my hair, tuck in my collar and slow my heart rate the best I can. I take a deep breath and push my way past the corn until I see her. I reach out and grab Pocahontas's hand, guiding her back to Grandmother Willow. But, she starts to squirm and wriggle out of my grip. I hold tighter, telling her it will be alright, that it's just me. But then she screams. I look and see her crying. I take her in a fierce hug and stroke her hair, murmuring words of comfort. Pocahontas doesn't like that either, as she squirms and screams again, louder. I take her by the shoulders and inspect her. She looks the same, same dress, hair, eyes, and skin. She looks exactly the same as when I saw her yesterday. Then why is she so scared?
"What's wrong?" I ask. I reach out my hand to stroke her face. I guess she was thinking I was to harm her because she flinches away from my touch. I move the hair out from her eyes and loosen my grip. "I would never hurt you." I say, stating the truth and obviousness. "I love you." I whisper. She stares at me with confusion and speaks her native tongue like the first time we met. "Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me? Please tell me!" The response I get from her shakes me to the core. The eyes that were once filled with questions that needed answers, mysterious that needed to be uncovered and sparkles that provided a life time full of happiness, were completely diminished. All I could sense was confusion and above all she was simply scared. All I saw were big black holes stating no love. I narrowed my eyebrows and felt what I thought would never come true.
"There is someone else, isn't there? You don't love me anymore?" My voice goes squeaky high as I said the last word of my sentence. Tears ball up with sadness and anger, as they slid down my pale face and hurt every time one drops to the ground. "Well, at least I know how you feel about us." I put a little sizzle into my words as I release my hands from her arms and feel no warmth or connection in between us anymore. Pocahontas's gaze softens and she begins crying too. "Finally you understand!" I throw my hands up into the air and sniff. I wipe the tears away and compose myself. "Goodbye forever, my love… I just want you to know that I will always love you, even if this war does kill us both." I kiss her one last time and walk away. Out of the corner of my eyes I see Pocahontas pick up a stick and make her way toward me. I knew this wasn't going to be a gift, it was intended for hurt and it was toward me. At the last moment I spin around to catch the stick. I break it in two as she looks horrified.
"Haven't I endured enough pain already? Just leave me alone." I scream. But she doesn't stop there; she throws herself on top of me and slams my hands on the ground so I can't move. Then begins slapping me with such force I know I will have bruises in the morning. I catch her wrist, flip her around and pin her until her rage falters. She cries again and begins talking to me in her native tongue, it almost sounds like she is pleading to me. Just at that moment I see one of her people coming at me with a dagger in his hand.
"Kocoum!" Pocahontas squeals with joy and relief.
"Him? That is who you are replacing me with?" Kocoum leaps on top of me, pushing Pocahontas out of harm's way. She stands behind him, for protection, watching in horror as she bites her lip. We throw punches this way and that, matching each other's personal strength. But finally, Kocoum gets on top of me and when I think he is about to slit my throat, a bullet comes our way and hits him in the foot. I push him off and he holds his injured foot, while screaming in pain. I look at Pocahontas and am about to ask her if she is alright when a second bullet comes our way. This one doesn't hit Kocoum; it hits Pocahontas straight through the heart. I look back to see who the shooter is, with tears in my eyes and see Thomas, looking like a scared lamb.
"Get out of here Thomas! Go, get out of here!" Thomas runs away as I scream at him with tears running furiously down my face and my voice wobbling with so much emotion my cheat hurts, like there is a bolder sitting on top of it. I run toward her and hold her head up to my chest. I look into her wide open eyes and see all the life is drained away. Blood pools into my hands and stains the dusty ground, like I have never wanted. My tears mix with her blood, the soil, her body and her clothes. The last thing I ever said to her was "I just want you to know that I will always love you, even if this war does kill us both," and "Goodbye." Soon her people unlatch my hands from her body and pin me down. They slowly and carefully carry her body away from me.
"Pocahontas! No, please wait! Just a few more minutes! Please! I just want to hold her!" I cry and plead to them but of course they don't understand. And finally, when her body is out of site, they take me away too; following the blood splattered trail back to their camp. All that is left of the scene is gallons of blood, a dagger, two bullet shells, and several pairs of bloody footprints.
I somehow end up in a dark and gloomy tent, with shadows that cast upon my face and scorch through my soul. I am so overcome with grief that I don't realize, until I truly think about it, that I was carried roughly through Pocahontas's village where shame and anger cast toward me and words that I didn't understand went in one ear and right out the other. Nothing mattered anymore now that Pocahontas was dead. I was going to die in the morning and I didn't give a damn. I was dying, of what I understand, because of Pocahontas. They think I was the one to shoot her through the heart and harass her. I would say it was the other way around but they only see one side of the story. They won't listen to a word I insert, if I were to even try. I haven't spoken a word since they brought me to their village; I won't until I am reunited with Pocahontas in the sky, where we can spend eternity together just as we had planned. So here I am, sitting alone in this dark tent and awaiting for my death to come quickly. I sit with my head hung low and tears streaming- like a river -down my green face, which still shows how sick I feel as pictures of Pocahontas's body falling limply to the ground are buried forever in my memory. The sound of the two gunshots, I will always hear. And the blood on my hands and clothes, I shall always see. I will always see her with her hair dancing around her face and her mysterious eyes searching mine with love and compassion. I will remember her for her strong opinion and open mind. Her words filled with wisdom and matureness beyond her years; her seriousness that also came with humor, which made her so special, unique and different. This is also why I loved her so much, because she expressed herself for who she was and not for who her father or others viewed her. I go limp and let the ropes that tie my hands behind my back saw into my skin and let it sting and burn. I deserve the pain; if it wasn't for me she wouldn't be dead. I should have taken the bullet for her so I wouldn't have to feel so guilty and alone. I hear voices outside the tent and swear I her Pocahontas sweet voice. I probably am imagining things so I go back to sulking.
"Pocahontas wants to look into the eyes of the man that killed her sister." My head perks up. Pocahontas is alive? But… how? I struggle against the restraints to get a glimpse of her when she walks in. When she does I nearly scream and jump for joy. Pocahontas quickens her pace when the curtains to the tent close and kneels beside me.
"Pocahontas?" I say in astonishment.
"Yes?" She questions.
"Pocahontas?" I have to blink a few times because I can't believe she is standing before me, breathing. Her heart beating and her blood flowing.
"John, it's me. I am here. Everything is alright now." Hell yes it is, I think to myself. She caresses my head in her hands.
"How…you're alive?" I say into her chest. She brings my head to eye level and chuckles, soft and quiet.
"Yes, the clone you saw shot to death was my twin sister, Naomi. She died on impact with that dangerous, evil weapon you use. Who made that anyways? Tsk…"
"You have a twin sister?" I ask, confused, still trying to wrap my head around the idea of Pocahontas being here on Earth.
"Yes, I did. She was so inexperienced of your kind and didn't speak any English. She was strong and brave, just like our mother. We both developed in the same womb and both look exactly alike, except I wear this bead necklace that my father gave me." She touches it with her index finger; I guess she doesn't realize she does it from time to time. "It was once my mother, that was passed onto my sister and now it belongs to me…." A big tear drops from her eyes and she sniffs. "I am going to miss her a lot, as is the whole community. She was such an energetic girl, with so much life, spirit and soul running through her veins. Nobody could ever replace her, not even your love…" She falls into my shoulder and I cradle her with my neck, as my hands are unavailable at the moment.
"Pocahontas I am so sorry, I truly am. I know I can't replace her but I will do everything in my power to make it up to you and to try to stitch your broken heart, as long as it will take. It was my entire fault. If I hadn't scared her, Thomas never would have thought I was in danger, and killed her."
"Who is Thomas?"
"My best friend; he finally learned how to shoot, I guess." Pocahontas is quiet for a moment, drinking in what I had just said. Then, after what seems like forever, she finally speaks.
"I am not angry, John. Everything and everyone has a chance and an apology can be given. People always deserve a second chance and I am not the one to hold grudges." She smiles sadly. Silence engulfs our voices that hang in the air. I look up at her and relief floods through me. It feels like a dream and I am afraid if I look away she will disappear, just like in my nightmares.
"I still can't wrap my mind around the idea of you being alive and well. I utterly thought you were dead. I was so sad that I wanted to die myself and I am going to if you don't help me. Please, loosen the ropes. All I want is to hold you close." She does so and I wriggle out of the ropes to press her body to mine. I search for her lips and when I do find them, I kiss them so furiously and hard that I didn't know I had. Pocahontas pulls away first and clears the hair from my eyes.
"I missed you too…" We kiss again, softly this time. I make sure to hold her tightly, like she is a slippery fish that is bound to get away if I am not careful. I rock back and forth and cry into her shoulder, as does she. I trace every inch of her body, breath in her smell and listen to the beat of her heart.
"I thought I lost you forever." I sniff. After a while of hugging and kissing Pocahontas looks deeply into my eyes and we just stare at each other. As if we are both equally beautiful portraits that need hours to be examined because of the detail and depth. A frantic call comes from outside the door of the tent. Pocahontas looks at me and her eyes say goodbye, as words do not need to be said.
"I will find a way to get us out of this mess; I make this a promise to you." She whispers kissing me hard and blows a few also. She mouths "I Love You" as she disappears far from where my eyes can travel. I mouth it back but she is gone before she can see. I listen for the sound of her echoing footsteps moving farther away from me. Then, all I am left with is the sound of the darkness.
I guess I manage to fall asleep somehow. When I awake I see Pocahontas's face right close to mine and feel her hand on my arm, shaking me in order to wake. I am startled, jumping at the sight of her. I have to rub my eyes to know that this is not a dream, as I cannot tell what is real or fake anymore.
"What are you doing here? You aren't supposed to be here at this hour, you could get in terrible trouble! Go, before someone sees you here." I wave her off with a jerk of my neck and rotate it to try to get the stiffness out while I am at it. She blows hair out of her eyes and makes a noise of protest.
"John, how many times do I have to tell you? I don't care what my people or your people think about us anymore! I have done a lot of thinking and I have leaned on my own that is doesn't matter what opinions flutter about around your head, it only matters what is closest to your heart and who and what you care about. You aren't close to my heart," She pauses and my heart falls. "Because you are my heart. That is why I am here. Now we must hurry, for my father will be leaving for battle any moment. We must catch him and make him talk to you in order to warn him.
"My father does not want war but your people insist upon it so, he thinks that he must go through with their wishes. But, in order for that to happen many will die and others will be hurt. We must stop this nonsense at once and make everyone see the good side of people who are different. We must make them see the world through our eyes." She smiles like she has a secret that only she knows. Pocahontas helps me stand and takes my hand firmly. "Are you ready to go through with this? Because there is always time to back out…" She looks down; letting her hair covering her entire face, hiding under it. I lift her chin and kiss her.
"Whatever plan you have been brewing in your head, I am ready to go all the way to the very end, as long as you are by my side. That is all I have ever wanted." Her face brightens the farther depth I get into my words. She is glowing as brightly at the sun at this moment, as if she could burst into flames if she shone any brighter. Her smile reaches her ears and she is blushing bright red. She giggles like a hopeless romantic, the total opposite of her personality. She clears her throat as I am staring at her with awe and love.
"Well great!" Her voice crakes and she clears it, uncomfortably. She pushes her hair out of her eyes and avoids mine. "That is all I want too." She laughs nervously. "We better get moving." I hold in a laugh or two and follow her to her father's tent. I would follow her to the end of the Earth if it meant more time to be spent exploring and showering her with my love.
"Will anyone see us? I mean, I am sure someone will send me straight back to that gloomy tent if they find us." I am tingling and scared so I grip her hand tighter.
"No, everyone is still asleep but not for long so, I ask you to please quicken you pace. You know, for a white man I thought you would be a lot faster and agile." She looks me up and down, sighs, and looks forward.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I say, jokingly.
"It explains everything now…" Her voice trails off, as if in deep thought.
"W-w-what?"
"Hmm….oh nothing!" She smiles as she looks back at me.
"I guess that means 'For another time,' am I right?" She huffs and I laugh to myself. We reach a huge, lovely tent that had many patterns all over it. I can see why her father sleeps here. He is the chief, after all.
"We are here!" She says and acts like I am going to buy it, showing it off, as to put it. I can hear her father talking to some men in the tent. "I guess we will have to wait our turn. It's lucky that he hasn't left yet. Quick! Get against the tent and stay quiet. Don't speak with your mouth, listen with your ears. That is why we have two ears and one mouth. We might even be better listeners than talkers, as some say"
"Where do you come up with this stuff?"
"My brain, of course; where else would I get it, dummy?" She makes a "Duh!" face; which includes sticking out her tongue and crossing her eyes. She knocks me on the noggin and giggles to herself. "Now quiet down, I hear someone coming out." She tries to contains her laughter and smuggle the sound. Two giant muscular men emerge from the tent and walk toward the water. That is our chance to confront her father. We go through the doors and I see her father's back is turned. Pocahontas holds me back and waves her hand for me to stay in the shadows. She taps her father on the shoulder and as he turns, realizing who it is, he hugs her tight and kisses her on the head. I see he has tears in his eyes. I hear her sisters name pop up in their language, a private conversation I know she doesn't want me to hear. I listen closely and hear my name. Her father looks confused and angry. Finally Pocahontas speaks English.
"John Smith means no harm; all he wants to do is talk. He isn't like any other white man I have met, he is different and kinder. You'll see. Come out John." I slowly make my way from the shadows, to the light, where he can see me. Her father's eyes widen and he looks just the bit frightened.
"He isn't supposed to be removed from the tent! Send him back at once." His voice booms. "I warned you about the white man, they aren't to be trusted!" I notice that Pocahontas's father learned English at one point too and I am grateful.
"Father, you aren't listening to me! He wants to talk to you, which will be all! Why won't you listen?" She strains her words so much that they begin to blend together.
"I will not take any of this foolishness any longer! He has poisoned your mind with his advanced world and large words. I knew I should have never let your mother teach you English!"
"But that is exactly why Naomi was killed! She couldn't understand what John was trying say; that he was trying to protect and warn her. She got scared and his friend reacted as he saw it! All you have to do is hear what John has to say, that is all I ask of you!"
"You call this monster by his first name? How dare you? He doesn't deserve a name, evil creature!" He spits on the ground, his eyes wide with anger, just like a mad bulls.
"How dare I? You should be saying how dare you! Judging a man by how he looks and background, but not by who he actually is, well that is just plain out wrong! What happened to the man who taught me about second chances and forgiving and forgetting? You have changed and if you act like this any longer you do not deserve the title to be called father by myself!"
"Pocahontas!" He screams, as I can hear the hurt in his voice.
"Well, that is what you get for acting this way! Now smarten up, the spirits are not happy with you."
"See what you have done to her, white man; making her believe in things of your kind that are all lies; a true disgrace!" He speaks to me, with his red face and wild eyes, I almost feel afraid. But something inside of me tells me otherwise and I seek the courage to use my voice. And when I find it I hit him with everything that is on my mind.
"If I could say something I would be grateful." I wait till they both quiet down and dive in. "I may look and seem like an untruthful guy but I came to tell you to protect your people; to keep them somewhere safe. My people plan to attack your people with war and weapons beyond your knowledge. I don't want bloodshed or violence on this land either; the soil is too precious to be wasted on things like that. I love your daughter with all my heart and I would never hurt her. That doesn't even come to mind! And if you still want to kill me after I am done talking then I respect that. I just wanted you to know what my opinions and views of this whole situation are." I bow my head and wait to be handled roughly.
"Pocahontas, is this true? Do you love this man as he says he does you?"
"I do father, as much as I love Mother Earth." She holds her head high; moving toward my body swiftly to give me a sideways hug; protecting me with her body, as it looks like. She rests her head on my chest, looking her father right in the eye and daring him to make his move. He rubs his chin with curiosity, deep inside the dark, hollow corners of his mind.
"I thank you for your input, white man," I lift my head, hopeful. "But I cannot have you roaming my land and let you bath in the eyes of my people. Fears from my people will spread through my village and I do not intend for that to happen. If you would kindly head back to your tent before sunrise that would make me so happy. You do not have to be tied up and Pocahontas can keep you company if she so wishes. I will take your advice but your death wish is still on the table. Now I must go."
"Will you at least think about changing your mind? Think about what I have said?" I ask, anger flooding through me.
"Of course, I do not wish to harm or murder anyone but if it is what my people wish then I must follow that. The majority will decide your fate."
"Much obliged, chief. I thank you with my whole heart of your generosity. I promise you that I will not disobey your commands. And I can tell you I am a 'white man' who follows his promises."
"And I thank you for your word. I enjoy knowing I can put my trust in others." He turns to go but Pocahontas protests.
"But father….!"
"Pocahontas please, I am going to be late! I am done with this situation and we will talk later. Wish me luck."
"Good luck." She whispers when he is out of the tent.
"Common Pocahontas, I mustn't let your father down. I must not break my promise." She nods and leans heavily on my side as if this conversation has weighed her down and also tried her to the core. Hi ho, hi ho; off to my prison cell I go…
When we reach my tent we sit down and lean against a pole holding the tent up, no words needed to express our sorrow.
"I feel as if there is more chance of myself dying tomorrow then there is hope that your father will change his mind." I say, not even trying to hide the sadness in my voice.
"I feel the same way…" Pocahontas agrees.
"So, you shouldn't waste your time stuck here with me. You should at least try to plan something, an escape, in case your father has already made up his mind about me because the color of my skin."
"Why don't I stay here so we can simmer in our thoughts and bounce ideas off one and other, together? That way we would have twice the brain power and I can spend more time with you…" I smile just an inch.
"Well, that does sound intriguing but I think you would be better out there. Say your goodbyes to me now and try to convince your father's mind when he comes back. And then if he still thinks that my death is that important and worth his time then I guess that is that…"
"So, you're just giving up? Just like that?" I nod.
"What else could possibly be done?"
"Well, for starters we could hope for the best and believe in what we can. I think you should stop moping, brighten up, clear your mind and start thinking!"
"You sound like my mother…." I whisper.
"Well, if I have to be all motherly to get through to you then so be it. I am not giving up on you and letting you die with the snap of a finger!" Her voice is urgent and persistent, willing me to understand. She darts her eyes back and forth, looking into mine, searching. "I have spent my entire life letting everyone around me make me decisions." She says quietly. I stop looking at my hands and raise an eyebrow, curious to hear where she is going with this. "I even went as far as to let my father choose who I should marry. I was always adventurous and curious to learn but that was pushed to the side when I was forced to become a wife and a mother, staying at home and waiting for my husband to come home from hunting; cleaning, washing, cooking and waiting, so much waiting… That was all that was out there for me. Then I would grow old, with someone who I didn't love. I would regret my decisions and die with a broken heart. That is not the life I want to live. So then you came along and everything changed! You showed me that I can be my own person and there are many courses to choose in life along the way. To teach someone how to use their adventurous side and to show them what else is out there beyond their culture is the greatest gift of all…" She has tears in her eyes and her voice is wobbling by the end of it all. "So that is why you can't stop now, not ever." She sniffs and wipes away the water on her cheeks. "You don't want to regret this. You don't want to lose everything in life you have worked up for and lose it to something that you didn't do. And I know for sure you don't want to lose me, as I don't want to lose you. So if you want me to go then I will go. Anyways, I think you need to think about what you want to do. You can either sit here, wasting what you have away. Or you can put words into actions and do something about this whole situation…" And with that last note she gets up and walks away, leaving me alone with my thoughts. The tent walls being the only thing to comfort my sorrow.
Maybe Pocahontas is right. I'm being unrealistic. If I sit here and wait for my death sentence to come find me then I will regret it. My life doesn't have to be wasted on something I didn't do. I am the only one who can change my fate. And right now it isn't looking too good. I think with a hard sense of determination. So what can I do to change that? Her father won't listen to me and I know if I go out there I will just cause an eruption of fear and panic. I should have never scared her off! God, I have a lot to learn… wow, how blind have I been? I smack myself on the forehead as my thoughts build to a point of where they overwhelm one and other. I might as well chance my luck by going out into the public and showing my face then sit in here like a coward. It is better than being alone with my two best friends, loneliness and regret. And way better than having to face my thoughts that swarm in my brain and my ears, just like angry bees ready to sting. I didn't have a clue what my next move was but I knew for sure that I was ready to get moving. I was antsy; my body wouldn't stop moving or twitching, my blood pumping faster and my adrenaline kicking me in the ass. This is what makes me stand, making my way cautiously toward the tent doors. I feel as if I am a vampire, stepping into light for the first time, ready to set myself on fire if I have to. I squint against the blinding light as my eyes begin to adjust. The first thing my eyes focus on is hundreds of people staring at me. I am an outsider, hated for my kind and for "murdering" one of their own, just as I have done before many of times before. I hear a mummer rumble through the crowd like thunder. The sound growls and widens the longer I stand before them. Sneers, I see curled on their mouths. Fear, I see it in every one, even if it isn't on their face it's in their eyes. Curiosity well, that was one I thought I would never see. A plan begins to expand and develop in my brain and I decide to follow it; follow with my heart, as Pocahontas had once said. I scan the crowd for a specific person. We lock eyes and I beckon her forward, while she knows that I have something brewing.
"I need you to translate." I whisper, our backs turned to the crowd.
"What?" Pocahontas says, confused.
"Just translate what I am saying to your people so they understand." I point my thumb toward the crowd. "I must make them understand that I am different from all of the other white men. This is all I ask."
"Alright, but this better be good."
"I love you, I truly do. I apologize for my behavior in the tent. It was unnecessary. I have been such a fool when it comes to you."
"I know…" Is all she says as she touches my shoulder. I get a feeling that it will all work out in the end. "Ready?"
"As I'll ever be." I clear my throat; gather my courage and words, then dive in. "My name in John Smith." I start off with something simple, my voice strong. "I have heard there are rumors floating around your village about my people and about, well, me. I want to make sure that we get things straight." I pause, wait for Pocahontas to catch up and start up again. "I know you think my people are evil, conniving and they can't be trusted. And, to be honest, we do the same. We stereotype each other with misinterpreted ideas of how we are and how we live, without really knowing any knowledge about one and other. We get these ideas in our heads that everyone can't get along and we all have enemies, as if it is a must." I see my men come in from the side. Their weapons are raised and they are ready to attack but when they see me standing before the crowd they stop. I give them a nod but keep going as they listen also. "It took me awhile but now I know that it isn't true, not by a mile. We judge people by how they look or what religion they believe in or what culture they are from. When someone is different we think it is wrong, we will do everything in our power to change how they are, to be like everyone else, to be normal. My men call you 'savages,'" I look over at them now as they look surprised and curious. "I wouldn't blame you if you did too. Now that I have spent time with your people and got to know your ways I have realized that my people and I are the one who are savages." I take a breath and go at it again. "My people cut down your trees, we invade you land and try to make it our own. You were the first to claim the land so what right do we have to kick you out just because we think we can? I have to admit, I was once a part of the mind washing racism toward your kind. Brain washed, I was at one point. I too killed many of you and I apologize. But, if I hadn't met Pocahontas who showed me her wisdom and another way of looking at the world I still would have been as lost as I was just a few weeks ago. I wanted to teach her about my ways and try to improve her ways of life when she should have been the teacher and I the student. You are the ones who should teach me about your ways, to teach us. I know now that your people know more than we think you do." I look at my hands and shake my head. "My people are greedy, that you got right. They want war, as soon as they can because they think you are the greedy ones. You don't stand a chance because we have more advanced weapons then you do. If you would at least consider my proposition I have for you I would be most grateful. If you could teach my men about your ways and we teach you about ours, I think the world would be a greater place. Peace on Earth, as they say, is the greatest gift of all. Everyone standing hand in hand, singing in harmony, would be the greatest sound. I think that is everyone's desire in their heart, even if they won't admit it. You don't need to put my voice to rest; you don't have to because you have a choice. We all have a voice and a chance to use it. I know I was not the one who killed the chief's daughter; I was the one who was trying to help her. I have told you the truth always and I won't start lying to you now. So if you still want to put me in the grave and put my heart to a stop then I will let you do so without hesitation. I would like all of you to drink my words in and think long and hard about this. Are we really all that different from each other? I don't think so and I hope we can be at peace with each other soon. Thank you for your time, I will be in my tent waiting to see what you have to say. I will accept what the majority has to say." I bow politely and make my way to the tent. I sit down in the dark and pray to whoever is up there looking down on me that everything will work out in the end. I hear a mummer through the crowd and then cheers.
"John Smith! John Smith!" They chant with thick accents. My head perks up and a smile plays on my lips.
"I did it?" I whisper. Pocahontas comes in to my tent and hugs me.
"They want to see you, John." She says.
"I did it?" I say again.
"You did it. Majority says that you can be trusted, good speech, by the way. You really are a people person, aren't you?"
"I guess so…"
"Go get 'em, tiger!"
"I love….."
"You?" She finishes.
"How did you know?"
"Lucky guess." We kiss and I take her hand, walking toward the crowd. I smile and bow. I even see my men clapping and whistling, looking proud.
"Can you translate, again?' I ask Pocahontas.
"Of course. You have to say even more?"
"Just a little something I need to ask." I raise my hands and the noise comes to a stop. "I thank you for you applause and for keeping me alive." The crowd chuckles. "I need to ask a small favor from all of you. I am in love with this lovely lady standing beside me, Pocahontas, the chief's daughter. I was wondering if I could get a blessing from each one of you." The crowd mummers and I know they don't approve. Many shake their heads. "How would you feel if you were in my position? Put yourselves in my shoes for a moment and imagine how I am feeling. I am nervous and excited and especially scared. I can't stop the feelings I have for her and I can't hide them, I won't hide anymore. Just because we are different doesn't mean we can't be alike. I ask, from my heart, to consider this as you did with my last terribly long speech." I purse my lips and wait. One person begins clapping and then everyone joins in.
"They are saying yes. They give you their blessing!" Pocahontas leans over and whispers. I smile really big.
"Thank you again my friends. I am forever in your gratitude. I don't know what I can say in order to repay you all." I wave and soak it in. I turn to Pocahontas. "Now it's your turn." She raises an eyebrow. I get down on a knee and take her hand.
"What are you doing?"
"This is what we do in my country when we are going to ask for someone's hand in marriage." She opens her mouth but no words come out. "Pocahontas, will you do the honors and be my partner for life?" Tears well in her eyes and spill over.
"I do! I do!" I stand and she jumps into my arms as we kiss. She translates to her people and they go wild. I see my men hugging each other and giving me thumbs up. Ben and Lon are crying like girls and Thomas is smiling so large I would think his face would crack any moment. But that stops as her father comes toward us. We unlatch from each other and look at our feet.
"Father, I…." Pocahontas begins but is silenced by her father's hand.
"What is going on?" His tone is angry and it's directed toward me.
"I was choosing my path, sir. I was making something of my life; not letting fate chose it for me. The majority thinks I can be trusted and has given me their blessing. I don't think you have any reason to be angry. I think you should be proud." The chief begins to laugh. I look at Pocahontas to see what she think of this what she looks at confused as I.
"My boy, I am not mad. I am surprised by how much you were like me, when I was a boy." He takes me hand and puts it on top of Pocahontas's. "You have my blessing also. You are free to live in my village and marry my daughter. I accept you as one of our own, as my son." He smiles and pushes Pocahontas and me together. "I see now that you are meant to be together, it is your destiny." He gives a war scream of joy and the others do the same. We kiss again and look deep into each other's eyes.
"I'm pregnant." She says. My eyes widen.
"Is it….?"
"Yes, it's yours. You're going to be a father."
"No, we are going to be a family!" I hold her close and know that everything in the world is right.
