By: Eric Clark
Cheng I Sao
By: Eric Clark
Cheng I Sao was staring out at the China Sea in the early 1800's. She was the most notorious pirate in the China Sea with her two thousand pirate sloops always in tow of her souped up sloop of war flagship. That fearsome ship was home to forty cannons with grape, chain and round shot capability. It did not help her image that she owned a ruby encrusted saber that had slain thousands. She had raided hundreds of towns on the coast of the Indian Ocean and terrorized Asian shipping lines for a decade. She was headed to the Caribbean for more and better fights and some gold pieces to plunder.
She was a beautiful girl gone wrong. She had straight, black hair that fell to her shoulders and held a commanding presence. She was tough as nails but rather skinny. By the look of her undamaged face you wouldn't know that she was a pirate, but if you stayed alive long enough to hear her talk you would know that she was a true pirate.
She sighed as she looked out at the open sea from the crow's nest of her ship, Cutlass, where she could look for land and keep an eye on her ships in case any of her skippers got mutinous ideas and took off. She swayed as the wind rocked her ship and marveled at the beauty of the sea and the awesomeness of the two thousand ships stretching of in a V as far as the eye could see.
Her first mate called to her from below,"Captain, we've just entered the Atlantic," he said.
"Aye, Bootstrap, I hear ye," said Cheng. "Do everything you can to make these scabrous dogs to get us to the Caribbean double time, ya hear me?"
"Aye, I hear ye, Captain, double time," replied Bootstrap sullenly, who was privately thinking that because of that order there would be even more attempts at mutiny.
For ninety long days and ninety long nights they sailed on the open sea without land on the horizon or a bottom to the seemingly endless blue expanse that stretched on and on even when one was looking through their finest spyglass.
Two more months passed until… "LAND HO!!" The words echoed across the two thousand ships and nigh three - hundred thousand able bodied seamen.
Cheng I Sao darted from her Captain's cabin, up the mast to the crow's nest and then back down, shouting orders to sailors as she passed them on her way to the front of the ship so she could drive. "Hoist all sails mates, I want this ship to be docked at that island by the time the sun is directly overhead, any questions? No? Good, because if ye did ye would be takin' a long walk right off the side of me ship. Bootstrap, take the wheel, I'm goin' to see if I can make out anything on that island. Oh yeah, Bootstrap send some men to try and catch a stronger wind for us to sail on."
On her way back to her post in the crow's nest she stopped at her cabin to pick up her best spyglass and then scurried up the main mast like a monkey and climbed into the crow's nest. She looked out at the pitiful spit of land through the spyglass and could just make out the shouts of drunken sailors, pistols firing, plumes of smoke from unknown explosives, and a sign to a large bar named the Faithful Bride from which a lot of the chaos seemed to be coming. Then ten unidentified ships came into her sights. They were sailing at great speed towards the island that Cheng had recognized as Tortuga.
The Captains of the ships then identified themselves as the ten most notorious pirates in the entire Caribbean, Blackbeard, Henry Morgan, Captain Kidd, Jean Lafitte, Stede Bonnet, L'Olonnais, Roc Brasiliano, Bart Roberts, Jack Rackham, and Captain Torrents.
An excited Cheng I Sao yelled down to her crew," prepare for battle mates, the ten most notorious pirates in the Caribbean are here to play with Captain Cheng I Sao and her notorious band of pirates!
"Huzzah!!" screamed her overjoyed crew as they loaded their pistols and checked their swords. "Let's go and load the guns" they shouted, still overly excided at the prospect of having a battle and worthy foes to fight.
"I thought their reaction would be something like that," muttered Cheng to herself. Then she looked out at the ten other pirate ships and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Which one of you scabrous dogs, blasted scallywags, or notorious idiots (whichever you prefer) is the first most notorious pirate in the Caribbean? I am Cheng I Sao, feared throughout the Indian Ocean for destroying everything in my path! I have ransacked every town on the coast of Africa, Asia, and Europe! I pay men for heads brought to me and hang the heads on the wall! Savvy?"
"It is I, Blackbeard, the most dreaded pirate in all the Caribbean. I am also known for just killin' everything I see!
"Then let's fight and see who is truly a better buccaneer!" countered Cheng.
"Aye, time to die lass!"
"Other way around Blackie!"
And so they battled. They battled on and on for hours on end without ever landing a blow on one another's ship.
Then Cheng blasted another round of fire in complete desperation to hit as she only had a few more cannonballs left. When that round missed, Cheng's crew loaded the guns in preparation to open their last round of fire. They would blast it the moment Cheng's hand dropped. Then, she let her hand fall and her crew fired their last cannonballs at the Black Interceptor. They all saw an explosion and cheered. Even Cheng had to smile; they had finally hit the Black Interceptor.
"Gotta chose yer moments to be a good pirate, eh lads," she said grinning.
Although only seven of the forty cannonballs fired had hit the Black Interceptor, it was a hit and the opening in Blackbeard's defenses Cheng had needed to get right up to next to the Black Interceptor with the Cutlass and swashbuckle for victory.
She unsheathed her sword and held it over her and slowly lowered it to eye-level and pointed it at the Black Interceptor.
She grinned evilly at Blackbeard who had gotten a sneaking suspicion that it was going to get ugly and retreated up to the crow's nest in hopes that his crew would finish off her crew, but bring Cheng herself to him so he could personally cut her throat.
"CHARGE!!" Screamed Cheng still grinning at Blackbeard who looked half stunned with her decision and half terrified at fighting her without adequate preparation time.
Bootstrap looked at his Captain in amazement. "Captain are ye sure? If we can't make it all the way in and we've got to retreat we'll be sitting ducks with no where to run, nowhere to hide, and no way to defend ourselves," he questioned.
"Well then we best be not lettin' that happen, eh lads! You slacked jawed idiot, questionin' me authority is… is not good. For him o' course," she muttered, shaking her head.
Then remembering the battle she cursed herself for being distracted from the task at hand. "Alright Cheng," she hissed to herself, "concentrate, you can deal with him later."
"Aye, Aye Captain," yelled Bootstrap over the thunder of the Black Interceptor's cannons firing at them. He turned the ship sharply to the left and headed straight at the Black Interceptor.
"Prepare to board, leave no survivors! And if you ask really nicely I'll bet they'll let us borrow some cannonballs!"
Her whole crew chuckled as they jogged past her on their way to either grab grappling hooks or prepare to swing over to the Black Interceptor on ropes from the rigging of the Cutlass.
Blackbeard's crew had lined up six rows of fifty men and knelt on the deck of the Black Interceptor and stuck their swords in the air. They all looked up nervously at their Captain nodded and motioned for them to stand their ground.
Cheng then gave the order to attack. Her crew threw their grappling hooks and swung across or used the rigging of the Cutlass to swing over to the Black Interceptor.
Almost all of Blackbeard's crew closed their eyes and made their arms as stony as possible. All of them except one of them felt their swords get really heavy. They looked up and saw one of Cheng's men impaled on their swords! They all cheered as they thought they had just won the battle. As for the other one, his sword was smacked away from the place Chang herself was flying in to and then a ruby encrusted saber pierced his heart. His sword was pried from his limp hand by Cheng I Sao! She snuck up behind two men at a time and jabbed a sword through each man's heart.
By this time Blackbeard had started to realize that that his men were dropping like flies. He started to yell at his crew, "Hey, lads look alive. Sao still be alive. She'll kill all of ye!" he shouted in a frantic tone but was not heard. "Ay boys, Sao, behind ya!" he screamed in complete desperation to be heard, but was still drowned out by the cheers his ever shrinking crew.
As Cheng ran up to the last man in Blackbeard's crew and decided to behead him. As she swung at him they both slipped on the blood spilt across the deck of the Black Interceptor and she flung her stolen sword at Blackbeard's last man and it pierced him through the head and stuck out both sides of his head!
The man let out a low groan and collapsed on the deck of the Black Interceptor face first so that the sword pierced the deck and stuck there, pinning him to the Black Interceptor.
With a look of pleasure Cheng said, "That there's got to bloody hurt, but least I've got good aim." She chuckled at her own comment and then looked up to the crow's nest and saw Blackbeard with a expression of downright horror upon his face.
"Finally, a man worth killin'," said Cheng and then proceeded to sheath her sword and scamper up the main mast towards the crow's nest!
Blackbeard had seen her do this, cursed Cheng I Sao with the blackest oaths he knew and dived off the crows. Except that he only got halfway and then was grabbed by the foot and hauled back into the crow's nest and turned over!
Cheng I Sao had reached the crow's nest just in time to grab him! "Is poor little Blackie a little bit scared to fight big-bad Captain Cheng I Sao? With that said she stood him upright with one hand and tossed him his sword. "En guard"
Cheng struck first but purposely missed and used her sword as an ax to hit the mast sticking up out of the crow's nest. She repeated this maneuver on all four sides of the mast until it fell loose. She shoved it at Blackbeard and distracted him with a series of easily parried blows so he wouldn't think he had to move to avoid them.
Crunch! Cheng saw the mast fall on Blackbeard. He lay limp in the crow's nest. The force of the mast falling on him broke every bone in his body!
Cheng called Bootstrap over and they took all of Blackbeard's supplies and gold pieces and took them onto the Cutlass and then left the Black Interceptor to sink on its own accord.
One down, nine to go!!
To be continued…