Please
It didn't take all that long for Peeta to convince me. The games had been over for several years and Panem was healing nicely, Gale had married a few years back and was expecting his first child soon. I knew it was coming and I was prepared after all I truly loved Peeta how could I really say no.
He took me to the meadow strange I know but it was a place of beauty and freedom once you looked passed the truth. We sat and picnicked happily smiling something truly rear he'd packed all my favourite thing, lamb stew, cheesy bread, and even some sweet baked goods that I loved. Once the meal was over we lay in the meadow for hours cuddled up close on our little picnic blanket my head on his shoulder as we watched the clouds float by. I was almost asleep when his voice whispered quietly in my ear, "Katniss, marry me, please?"
I was shocked was he truly asking me, and so simply, almost like he was begging. My heart squeezed tight in a nervous spasm and a tear rolled down my face. I was scared I sat up very quickly and turned to face him, before I even got a chance her spoke again, "Katniss, please?"
I looked at him taking in the pleading note of his words. It wasn't love that was stopping me from giving him an answer it was fear. Marriage means children eventually something I swore I would never do, something I couldn't take from Peeta, I knew he wanted them, if I say yes to this simple request will I be able to say no to his next.
"Peeta." I stemmed out searching for the words I needed to explain.
"Please, we don't need to think of children now Katniss we have plenty of time for that and if it is something you truly cannot do I will not force you, I can live in a world without children I have never met but I cannot live in a world without you."
"Yes."
He looked at me shocked, his mouth opening in to a contagious smile, soon I was smiling to, I launched myself from my current position facing him and into his arms.
"Yes," I said again punctuating it with a kiss "Yes, yes, yes."
His arms wrapped around me in a tight embrace and the two of us stayed that way for some hours before it was decided that we must go home and tell the few people left the good news.
The ceremony was small; I borrowed a dress from my mother even though in truth I could have worn one of my own. The dress was a creamy coloured satin bunching under my breast in two tight lines before falling to the ground with a small train. The bust was fitted and had two open capped sleave and was much fancier then the merger ceremony needed. All the important people were there my mother, Haymitch, Effie, even my old styling team, and Gale and his wife, they bought with them there new born daughter Annabelle.
After the signing of the papers at the Justice Building and the traditional toasting everyone who had gathered to celebrate was in our kitchen munching on baked goods that Peeta had whipped up for the occasion including a cake. The cake was beautiful, it was covered in flowers most importantly primroses, they bordered the whole cake in a tribute to my fallen sister.
A few tears were shed and the cake was eaten and Gale had handed Annabelle to Peeta to hold. Just one look told me that the promise he had made to not push for children was teetering dangerously close to the window ledge. He was smiling down at her waving a finger in front of her tiny face as she shrieked happily trying to capture it. He looked up at me and smiled before handing over the little bundle. Shocked and scared I was holding her wrong I pulled her close and she smiled up at me. I couldn't help it I smiled to and I knew right then that Peeta's promise was just firmly shoved out the window at my own hand.
He didn't ask though not really he let me be careful and I always was. I was so careful that I had started to think it just wasn't possible my body just could not bear a child. Until one night I had woken up covered in blood. I started screaming all of a sudden I was back in the Game and someone had sliced me open I searched feverishly for the gash knowing that if I wanted to live I had to stem the flow of blood but I couldn't find it until Peeta leaned over and grasped my hands. He knew on sight what had happed.
"Katniss, honey please calm down, your having a miscarriage, its ok, let's get you in the shower get the blood off you."
And he did just that he took me to the shower and pushed me in fully clothed before climbing in after me. He pulled my night gown over my head and handed me a cloth and the bar of soap before proceeding to remove his blood covered pants and kicking the pile of cloths to the corner of the shower.
He washed the blood from my back and the pushed me gently from the shower monitoring for me to wrap myself in one of the fluffy towels stationed on the rack. I did as I was told while he washed the blood from himself. He stepped from the shower and took the towel from me for himself wrapping it around his waist and grabbing the dressing gown from behind the door and wrapping fit snugly around me. Peeta then sat me on the chair in the corner of our room and left me to call my mother. I sat staring at the bloodied sheets did I really hate Peeta that much that my body couldn't stand the thought of his child, that my body just gave up the one thing he wanted most. The tears came then steadily until he was back with a pot of strange smelling tea and a change of sheets.
"Drink, please, your mother said it would calm you."
He then moved to the bed and began removing she soiled sheets as I continued to stare tearfully at the evidence of the monster I truly was. By the time Peeta had stripped the bed of the fitted sheet, the mattress protector and a mattress topper designed to make the bed more comfortable the mess was gone and he fitted the bed with new sheets before he came back to me.
"Katniss, please." I took a small sip of the tea but I couldn't hold it in I started sobbing hysterically and I couldn't stop it. Peeta was there in a second I was scooped up and placed on the bed as he whispered sweet things to me and I confessed to him all that I was feeling.
"Katniss, please, honey it's not your fault, we can try again, ok."
I sobbed myself to sleep that night and when the next morning I woke up in Peeta's arms I knew that his resolve had finally faltered, today was the day he broke his promise. He kissed my head and tilted my face up towards him and in barely a whisper he said, "Katniss please?"
I knew what he meant and I instantly stiffened. "No Peeta, you know how I feel how could anyone bring a child into a world as evil as ours."
"Katniss, please? The world is a different place from the one we grew up in, it is much safer, much happier, much better."
"No, Peeta, I can't.
This went on every morning for the next few months, I would wake up in his arms and he would whisper "Katniss, Please?" and with everyday my resolve faltered until finally I agreed.
It didn't take long in lest then a month I was pregnant in truth I had secretly hoped that my body would reject a pregnancy I was scared and still unsure as weather I wanted to bring a child into such an evil world but it was there and I knew right away Peeta loved it.
The first time it kicked I had been in the bath, it suddenly hit me, I was pregnant, I started thinking about the world, what evils I had bought on the child and without realising I sank under the water holding my breath and wishing for a peaceful end for the child before it was bought into such an evil world.
That's how Peeta found me he pulled me out off the tub and wrapped the gown around me and had ran to the nearest doctor. He had found me in time which I know now is a good thing but at the time I was so afraid every time the child moved I felt wrong, I felt evil, how could I have agreed to such a thing. Peeta didn't leave me alone after that.
After she was born things were different, they were easier, she had Peeta's eyes and my hair and she had a tiny heart beat that thumped inside her and somehow she became my world. But she was it and I couldn't go through that again and for awhile Peeta didn't push.
She was two by the time he asked again "Katniss, please." He had calmly explained that he thought his little girl needed a brother or sister because it was lonely here in the ruins of District 12, he was right there were few children here, and fewer still that would play with the child of the Mockingjay, even though she no longer went b that name. Again it took months but I could only say no for so long before "Katniss, please?" broke me down and again I agreed.
He was born healthy and happy and this time with my eyes and Peeta's hair and finally Peeta felt he was complete, he had his family and I had him and we Peeta never had to ask me anything again. He had given me so much and I had given him so little but he loved me and I loved him and so the words "Katniss, please?" never had to leave his lips again.