Ghost Town
Summary: Harry goes to St. Mungo's for a routine procedure and ends up dying for 7 minutes. After his short foray into the world of the dead, he ends up being able to see ghosts, who start asking him for favors and annoying him. When a ghost named Dean comes up to him and asks him to break up his widow Ginny's engagement to Michael Corner, Harry falls for her instead. A Harry Potter version of the new movie Ghost Town, starring the fabulous Ricky Gervais, Tea Leoni and Greg Kinnear.
Note: Chapter 1 is sort of a prologue to the whole story. Chapter 2 on is set 14 months afterward.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the property of JK Rowling and Ghost Town the property of their prospective studios, directors and scriptwriters. Also, some lines are lifted straight from the movie.
Chapter 1:
Are You a Realtor or a Professional Effing Idiot?
Dean Thomas was a very busy man. Then again, he would spend most of the business meeting he had missed his car for playing Tetris, which he had just downloaded onto his Blackberry.
"Hello?" It was his wife. "What do you mean, the realtor called asking about an apartment?"
More talking on the other end of the line. "Oh, honey, that's the oldest trick in the book. The realtor calls, says the husband is looking at the apartment . . ." More words. "What do you mean he said it's on my card?"
Yada yada yada. "Ok, the gig is up. I got us a cozy apartment downtown as a honeymoon present. One bedroom. It's perfectly nice though. I have to go, the car forgot to pick me up. Love you too, baby. Bye."
As soon as he hung up on his wife, he dialed his realtor's number and paced as it rang, mad enough to spit.
The git finally answered. "Tell me, are you a realtor or a professional effing idiot?"
!!
"Here it is! Our new AC!"
"Daryl, shouldn't the super do that?" asked the woman lounging on the couch.
"Don't worry, Marion. It's better if you do it yourself," said Daryl as he lugged the heavy AC unit across the apartment.
!!
"I said it was for my girlfriend, not my wife!"
The stupid buffoon was talking again. "What, do you think a girl named 'Romilda' is my wife at my age?!"
More mumbling. "Well, it's not exactly a love nest if my wife is there picking out the curtains, is it?"
!!
"Careful! Careful!" shouted Daryl as he lugged the air conditioner across the apartment, with his wife's help.
Finally, they managed to fit it into the window.
"I toldja, baby. Do-it-yourself is the only way."
Then, predictably, the unit fell out.
!!
Dean was very angry, and was seriously considering firing this particular realtor.
He was just walking beneath an apartment and decided that he could always threaten to sue when he heard screams of "Oh my god!" and "LOOK OUT!"
He looked up. A ginormous AC unit was tumbling through the air and headed right for his crown.
Using his Quidditch reflexes, he jumped out of its way and into the street. "Hey, man, you'll never believe what just happened to me!"
Suddenly, a bus plowed right into him.
"OMIGOD!"
!!
This was weird. Dean supposed that he should be hurt by the accident, but he felt fine. In fact, his Blackberry wasn't even scathed!
"GET OUTTA THE WAY!" One of those useless Muggle police men was barreling towards him. Dean wanted to yell "Watch where you're going, you fat dork!", but before he got a chance to the police man walked right through him.
And sneezed.
"Wha-?"
A woman, running towards the scene of the accident, ran right through him too, and had a sneezing fit.
"Oh, NO!" shouted Dean, realization crashing over him. He put his hands on his head and stared distraught as about five people passed through him and then sneezed as if he was made up of germs.
"Not now," he whimpered.
A/N
Thanks for reading! Sorry if this was short. Like I said, it's just the prologue. Please don't flame me. If you hated it, just walk away. If you have any CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, please review. Or if you liked it review. I'm not going to bribe you with the old "i'm not posting again until I have five reviews" gag, but please review anyway. Thanks.