A/N: I can't believe nobody's done this yet. Based off a scene in The Day of the Doctor

A blue box landed in a park in California. Out stepped the Doctor, who did a double take. He knew that smell, the particular concentration of pollution that occurred only in the major West Coast American cities in the early 21st century. He had nightmares of the last time he was here. Shrugging his fears off with a flounce of his long, wavy hair, the Doctor, currently sans companion, took a look around.

The park was by several major roads, lined with palm trees, next to a beach. There were a smattering of people there. So far it seemed rather peaceful, although with his luck, that wouldn't last very long. He had a feeling of deja vu though, maybe he came here another time. And then it hit him- or should he say he hit himself.

The Timelord both got up at the same time. The Eighth Doctor looked across at his second self, who had a look of horror on his face as he took in his appearance. Evidently they accidentally exchanged some thoughts upon impact. Although with his track record that was bound to happen.

"Oh, not again!" whined the little clown (although, admittedly they were about the same height this time). "Didn't I just leave me and me and me? Why?" It figures that they happened to meet at this point, apparently, his second self had just left the Death Zone, and was onto the next job from his CIA babysitters.

"I swear, it was an accident this time." said Eight. "Although why I landed here I-"

He was interrupted by a massive roar, as a twenty-five foot tall creature slithered out of the sea on its tentacles. Both Doctors simultaneously swore in Gallifreyan and did some quick thinking. Meanwhile the giant Draconian Squid had frightened the local humans, who were now screaming in terror and running in all directions.

"Right." said Eight, as he and Two finished their planning and immediately got to work, both accidentally bumping into a young woman as they hurried to get the job done. She decided to follow Two, who was attempting to distract the gigantic purple squid while Eight ran to his TARDIS to quickly page the Draconians three weeks ago. Unfortunately, the squid had gotten annoyed by the little Time Lord and was attempting to eat him.

Clara Oswald, professional assassin, although just an echo, saw that there was no way that the Doctor could escape. But the Doctor couldn't die now, because the Doctor was in the TARDIS fetching the space zookeepers or whoever was in charge of this thing. By possibly the wildest coincidence ever, this echo happened to be carrying her third-favorite weapon, a lovely katana which folded for easy purse storage. So she hacked at one of the squid's tentacles. It didn't really hurt the beast, but is provided a distraction which prevented the Doctor from becoming amphibian food. Although it meant that she was the new subject of the squid's attentions. No matter. Clara always hoped to go down fighting.

The Eighth Doctor rushed out of the TARDIS to watch this, and just at that moment, the squid was enclosed in a force field and transmatted remotely back to the Draconian ship that had just arrived. A pity it couldn't have arrived a minute earlier. That poor girl.

Now that matters were solved, the doctors prepared to leave, although not without criticizing one another first ("you're almost as bad as Dandy Light Bulb!"). This ended only when a bunch of humans in black suits and sunglasses approached all the witnesses that were still in a state of panic down the block, and wiped their memories with imitation sonic screwdrivers. The Doctor couldn't stand these guys. Got caught by them once in his Sixth incarnation- it wasn't pleasant. The Doctors quickly exchanged glances, nodded once, and then ran to their TARDISes before they could get caught.