Author: SnarkySnark
Rating: T, because that's what the rest of my fics are. Also, because House MD really isn't that appropriate for little kiddies.
Disclaimer: Nope. I still don't own House.
Dr. Chase walked into the clinic one morning, repulsing Dr. Cameron.
"Hi Chase, how are you--DEAR GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS ON YOUR FACE?!"
Chase rubbed his chin. "Oh, you mean my goatee?"
"YES, I MEAN YOUR GOATEE! GOD, THAT THING IS A CRIME AGAINST NATURE! IT'S WRONG, I TELL YOU! WRONG!" Dr. Cameron's eye twitched.
Chase shrugged. "I like it."
Cameron shook her head. "Whatever. Go take these medical histories to House."
MDMDMDMD
Dr. Chase, being the gullible wombat he was, took the files up to his antisocial boss. Dr. House was currently mocking a child.
"You call that a good drawing? Psh. It's just a bunch of scribbles." The three-year-old's bottom lip quivered. House smiled gleefully.
"Well, that was fun. So, Chase, did you—HOLY SHIT! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?!"
Chase frowned slightly. "I grew a goatee. Is it that bad?"
House's jaw dropped. He blinked. "Yes, yes it is. Go shave it off."
"But I—"
"DUDE! GO SHAVE THAT UNGODLY THING OFF! YOU'RE SCARING THE CHILDREN!"
Chase scowled.
MDMDMDMD
Chase was walking to the cafeteria for his lunch break, when he got stopped by Dr. Foreman.
"Chase, the patient's blood pressure just skyrocketed. Did you up the dose of his-" Dr. Foreman, upon looking at the Australian doctor, stopped talking.
"Um…Foreman? Are you okay?" Chase raised an eyebrow. "I didn't do anything to his meds, if that's what you're wondering."
Dr. Foreman fell over.
"Huh." Chase frowned.
MDMDMDMD
"Dr. Chase, you're fired."
Chase's eyebrows shot up. "What? Why?"
Dr. Cuddy gave him a stern look. "You know why."
Chase blinked.
Chase blinked.
Chase blinked.
Chase blinked.
"DR. CHASE! STOP BLINKING AND LEAVE THE DAMN HOSPITAL!"
"Why can't I have facial hair?" He asked, pouting.
"Dr. Cuddy sighed. "You just can't, Chase."
"But House and Foreman have facial hair…" The Aussie whined.
"Yes, but House is my lover and Dr. Foreman can play the 'racist' card." House made a suggestive motion and Foreman grinned, giving Chase the thumbs-up sign.
"But they-"
"Get out, Dr. Chase."
"I just want to-"
"I SAID GET OUT!"
Dr. Chase pouted, and began to leave the hospital. However, Dr. Cameron yelled out for him to stop.
"WAIT! CHASE! CHASE! HEY, CHASE! HOLD ON!"
"Cameron, I stopped walking three minutes ago."
Dr. Cameron looked thoughtful for a moment, then, as if by magic, she grew a beard.
"Dr. Cameron! Shave that off this instant!" Cuddy was visibly irked.
"NEVER!" She cackled.
"Cameron, you're fired."
"NOOOOOOOOO!"
"Yes, you are. Now leave, or I'm calling security."
Dr. Cameron braided her beard into a rope, then lassoed Dr. Cuddy.
"Untie me this instant! You're all fired! Nag nag nag…"
Everyone slowly backed away from Cuddy, whistling. Cameron cut her beard off, and to this day, Dr. Cuddy can still be found tied-up and nagging on the fourth floor of Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital.
THE END
A/N: This story didn't exactly come out the way I wanted it to, but hey. Oh, and please review.