Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, I know I don't own anything…
A/n: Minnie, who decided that dementors should have the right to date, inspired this. So, here it is! Please tell me what you think.
Thomas Marvalo Riddle had never in his life imagined how hard it was to breed more dementors. The death eaters were completely useless when it came to this sort of thing so yet again, he was left to do all the thinking and the working. Sighing, he sat up in his customed over stuffed, moth-eaten armchair in the Riddle House. Everything Tom had tried to even spark a romance had failed. He had tried preparing dinner and flowers, romantic weekends in the west, free holidays to the south pacific and he had even held a karioke night in which he invited the death eaters to come along and join in. But it was all to no avail.
Tom decided he needed a walk to think over what he hadn't done for them. He made Wormtail strap Nagni into his nap-sack and set off down the road into the night. On the way down one of the streets near by, he noticed a family off muggles grouped around a square box, which kept flashing different pictures. Intrigued, Tom walked up to the window and started to watch the funny little box with coloured pictures and realised that it began to talk as well. One of the windows was slightly open so Tom stood there and began to watch it. He realised that the show on the box was actually called blind date. 'A blind date! Now why hadn't I thought of that!' Tom thought as he rubbed his two long spidery fingers along his chin.
Once Tom had walked back home, began to plan his little show on wizarding wireless TV/radio. One of his trusty death eaters worked in the TV station so that was no problem; it was getting the dementors to actually enter. A manic smile formed across his snake-like face- he would promise them with a free holiday and soul-sucking spree.
"Malfoy!" barked Tom in to the fire and soon Lucius Malfoy's head appeared in the fire.
"Yes my Lord?" he said in his usual drawl.
"I have a new job for you. I want you to become a TV presenter"
"My lord?" Asked Lucius in confusion.
"I plan to run a Dementor Blind Date on the wireless. If this doesn't get them to breed, nothing will"
"Yes my Lord." Replied Lucius slightly bewildered.
"Get Avery, Nott, Crabbe and Goyle to re-decorate the front living room. We need everything all bright and cheerful and don't forget to make sure they put those cheesy little chairs from that bar you raided last week in there- about four of them and a screen." Tom ordered.
"Everything will be done my Lord"
"And while you're at it, put a few of those fluffy heart cushions around too,"
"Of course my lord" Lucius bowed and left the fire with a pop.
"Sirius! Were home!" Called Molly Weasley as she entered Number twelve, Grimauld place.
"I'm in the living room with Arthur!" Sirius shouted back.
Molly walked into the living room and saw her husband and Sirius trying to install a new television and surround-sound system in the corner.
"Hello love, Mundungus managed to get us a new widescreen TV, VCR and DVD combo. Me and Sirius were just working out how to install the whole lot" Arthur greeted and explained his wife.
"Where did Mundungus get this lot from? I hope to Merlin he hasn't stolen it!" Warned Molly.
"No, no, Mrs Figg said we could have it as she has had the latest lot installed at her place Molly. Dung just dropped it off for us." Sirius said quickly. He feared that Molly might go off on her usual Mundungus rant about steeling.
"Good, where are the rest?" Molly looked curiously around the room as if expecting them to be hiding from her.
"Alastor, Severus, Tonks and Remus are teaching them to duel and stuff. They will be nearly done soon." Sirius said looking at the big grand father clock up the other end of the room.
"Severus agreed?" She said surprised.
"Yeah, in the end once Minerva had a good rant and rave at him." Sirius snickered.
"Well I'll go and make the dinner and a cuppa."
"Sure thing Molly, were nearly done."
"We still have to work out how to turn it on and use it first," said Arthur.
"Erm, well I noticed there was a button on the front bottom which said 'On'. Do you think we could be on the right track?"
"Oh yeah!"
Once everybody had settled down after dinner in the living room in front of the TV, Hermione took charge of the control, as she was the only one who knew what she was doing with it.
"What are we watching then?"
"There's a new show out, I think it's a comedy. It's called Dementor Blind Date." Suggested Alastor as he scanned the wizarding TV magazine.
"Sounds interesting, let's see what it's about"
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