Author's note: So I really didn't expect anyone to read the first part of this, lol, so thanks for taking the time. Your reviews actually got me through a little bit of a rough/stressful time last week, and I can't thank you enough for that. ;) I'm posting this as a separate story because where I started writing from for this part takes place a few years before Sometimes the Stars Line Up, and it wouldn't really have made sense to add it as the next chapter. At least it wouldn't have to me. Thinking of doing that messed with my brain, lol. Anyway, this chapter is a bit angsty and a little bit longer, but it needed to happen to give a bit of backstory. Like I said before, I don't mind if you all critique it as long as you're gentle about it. :) Oh, and the song lyrics are from "Count on Me (Somebody)" by Tonic. It came on on shuffle while I was writing this and it just seemed to fit.
To the guest who said they wanted to see their marriage and what led them there, I'll gradually get there. :)
Diana: that's a cute idea. I'm sure the boys' birthdays will be celebrated in some form or another. Not sure about the other glee club members yet, except for Brittany and Santana. They're the only ones I can guarantee will be making an appearance, but I will definitely keep the others in mind. :)
babyblue2189: Who gave birth to who will be explained soon. :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of the characters, and I'm broke so please don't sue.
Quinn was sitting next to Rachel at their favorite local coffee shop in New York as she tried not to let her nerves get the better of her. They both had the day off and were waiting for Kurt to show up. They had planned their little get together a few days before and had gotten there fifteen minutes early at Quinn's insistence, but the waiting only furthered her anxiety. Rachel was busying herself by drinking her tea with honey and checking her email on her phone, and Quinn.. well, Quinn fidgeted. Quinn Fabray was fidgeting. Quinn Fabray never fidgeted. Unless you counted the time when she walked up to Rachel at the mall intent on asking her out, kissing her, or both. Or the time she waited for Rachel to return from the bathroom at that fancy restaurant. She had spent the dinner with a diamond ring in a little black box burning a hole in her coat pocket, and it was now or never. However, she wasn't nearly as nervous then as she was right before their first kiss. The two of them had danced around each other for some time by then, and it was starting to wear Quinn down.
Quinn recalled how tense she had been that day and how she had started to lose her nerve right beforehand, thus causing her to fidget. She also remembered the concerned look on Rachel's face when she looked back at her and she chuckled to herself.
"Rach, do you remember that day at the mall when I walked right up and kissed you?" Quinn asked.
"Oh, you mean after you sat down, got up and walked away, turned back around, and then walked right up and kissed me?" Rachel replied with a smirk. "Of course I do. Why?"
"I was just thinking. I probably feel just about as scared and nervous now as I did then."
"Aw, baby. Don't be scared, ok? Everything turned out perfect that day, despite both of our nerves, and I'm sure today won't be any different."
"But what if he says no? What if he's ok with it but Blaine isn't?"
"Well, I suppose that's always a possibility but let's just try to think positive for now, ok?"
"Right. Ok."
Rachel took her hand and interlocked their fingers as Quinn sat back and idly ran her finger over Rachel's wedding band. It was identical to her own, and she reminisced about the long drive home to Lima that led up to the summer day that followed; That was the day she finally got up the courage to kiss the woman she now called her wife.
~~~Flashback~~~
The summer after her sophomore year at Yale, Quinn and Rachel made the drive back home to Lima. Quinn felt a little on edge; Being in the same car as Rachel was intoxicating and nerve-wracking at the same time. She felt stupid for feeling that way, but she had only been confined in a car with Rachel a few times in the past two years, and it was usually just to go out to grab some food so it didn't last long. Ten hours in the car with Rachel might just kill her, especially if she kept being as.. well, as Rachel as she was being right then. Quinn risked another glance over at her through her aviators and had to clench her jaw to keep the giggle bubbling up inside her from spilling out. Rachel was leaning against the door of the car with her knees pulled up to her chest, and it made her look even tinier than she was. She had her left arm wrapped around her legs and her phone was in her right hand; She bit her lip as she bobbed her head along to whichever song was playing through her earphones and she scrolled down on her phone with her thumb. Quinn was surprised that she wasn't singing along with her music, but it was early yet and they'd only been on the road for two hours.
'Eight hours to go..' Quinn thought. She looked one more time at the petite girl sitting in her passenger seat, and she couldn't help but think about how much it felt like she belonged there.
She turned her gaze back to the road, but she couldn't help the small smile that played over her lips. Quinn focused on driving for a while, letting herself get lost in her thoughts, the steady hum of the road beneath her tires, and the music playing softly on the mix cd in her car's cd player. She must have been pretty deep in her thoughts, because suddenly she jumped at Rachel's touch. Her hand was mid-thigh on Quinn's leg and her skin burned beneath her shorts where Rachel's palm touched her.
"Earth to Quinn.. This is ground control to Major Tom.."
"Oh my god. You seriously just quoted David Bowie?"
Rachel stared at her for a second in surprise before remembering to close her mouth and she quickly removed her hand from Quinn's thigh.
'Jesus god, marry me.' Rachel thought, then rolled her eyes at herself. 'Right, like that would ever happen. Finn wouldn't even marry me, so the chances that somebody like Quinn Fabray would – God, stop it Rachel. Your thoughts are ridiculous. You two are just friends.'
It wasn't her fault Quinn was so perfect and irresistible; No one had ever gotten her random song references, and if they did they just ignored her so she had weaned herself off the habit back in high school for the most part. Now the first time she had done that in years, not only did Quinn not ignore her, but she had smiled and indulged her, supplying the artist of the song. Rachel wanted to kiss her right then and there, but she collected her thoughts and managed to speak, somehow.
"Anyway, now that I have your attention, are you doing ok? If you're tired of driving we can switch."
The track that was playing ended and moved on to the next, and Quinn registered the words of the song that she had listened to many times while thinking about the girl who was now in her passenger seat.
I need to be around you
I want to fall into your eyes
I love to feel you close to me
But there's no peace of mind
"I'm good, Rach." Quinn said with a small smile. "Are you getting hungry? I know we started out really early."
"I could go for some food, sure." Rachel replied.
"Ok. Next exit you see with signs for food, let me know. Deal?"
"Deal." Rachel kept her gaze on Quinn and smiled softly. Quinn's insides warmed when she realized Rachel was staring at her.
"What? Do I have something on my face?" Quinn asked, feeling rather unsure of herself suddenly. Rachel kept gazing and shook her head.
"No, Quinn. I'm just happy we're friends." Rachel said softly as she dipped her head and looked back out the window.
I live to hear you laughing
I long to feel your hands fall down
Along the side of me
A change of life is hard to find
There's no peace of mind
'Well damn it if that's not a kick to the gut,' Quinn thought sadly to herself.
If you ever need somebody
If you ever need somebody to love you
"I'm happy we're friends too, Rachel." Quinn replied, thankful that her aviators were dark enough to block out her eyes and the sad expression they turned her gaze back to the road as Rachel looked out the window at the passing trees, checking for a sign that would let her know a place to get food was nearby. After a few moments of silence, Quinn noticed that the monotony of the passing scenery and the hum of the tires had lulled Rachel into an easy sleep, and Quinn tried her best to keep her eyes on the road instead of on the adorable sleeping form of her friend. A few miles later, Quinn spotted a sign for a Dunkin' Donuts and smoothly changed lanes and took the exit off towards the right. Rachel was still asleep as Quinn pulled into a parking spot, and she sat for a minute as she debated whether to wake her.
'She did say she was hungry. Just wake her up, Quinn, and stop thinking so much.'
Quinn unbuckled her own seatbelt and turned to Rachel, who had shifted in her sleep so that she was now facing towards Quinn. A lock of her hair had fallen into her eyes and Quinn reached out and softly tucked it behind her ear. Her hand shook a little as her fingertips brushed across Rachel's cheek, and she let them linger there for a moment. When the side of Rachel's mouth quirked up into a smile near her hand, she quickly withdrew it and turned to face the steering wheel to try to keep her breathing in check. When it looked like Rachel wasn't actually waking up, Quinn faced her again. She let her eyes trace over Rachel's features; Her brown hair, her expressive eyes that seemed to hold so many emotions even in sleep, her nose.
'God, that nose.' Quinn thought to herself, remembering how Rachel had almost gotten a nose job in high school, and she smiled because she hadn't gone through with it. Quinn knew it was no thanks to her and she honestly did feel bad that she would have let Rachel go through with it; She secretly loved Rachel's nose.
Her eyes continued their path down Rachel's face to her lips, and she felt her breath catch in her lungs. She wanted to just lean forward and kiss her; Every part of her ached to be in Rachel's arms, but she couldn't do that. She wasn't even sure if Rachel had feelings for her at all, other than friendly ones. She couldn't take the thought of putting herself out there just to be shot down. She steeled herself and softly shook the sleeping girl's shoulder, calling out her name.
"Rachel. Rachel, wake up."
Soft brown eyes fluttered open and looked into her own, and Quinn felt like she was drowning in them. Rachel had slept over in her dorm plenty of times, but she always woke up before Quinn. Seeing a sleepy Rachel wake up and look at her, first with a bit of confusion, then warmth once she woke up a little further, made Quinn want to wake up before Rachel all the time.
So kiss me for believing
Love me now for always knowing
When to let you go
A change of life is hard to find
There's no peace of mind
"Nooo, come sleep, Q." Rachel whined and pouted, closing her eyes again as she patted the passenger seat with a tired hand. Quinn couldn't stifle the laugh that bubbled up from her throat this time, and Rachel pouted even more.
"Rach, I can't. We're in the car, there's not enough space." Quinn replied stoically. "Besides, we have to get some food and get going if we want to make it back to Lima at some point today. Don't you want to see your Dads?"
"Later. Cuddle now." Rachel was still half asleep and it took all of Quinn's self-restraint to not climb over to Rachel's seat and take her in her arms for a nap. Instead, she grabbed her blue Yale blanket from the backseat and draped it over Rachel.
"I'll be right back, promise."
Quinn left the keys in the ignition, grabbed her wallet from the glove compartment, climbed out of the car, and headed into the restaurant to get food and some coffee. Rachel sighed and rested her head back on the headrest as she snuggled into Quinn's blanket, seeking comfort and a reprieve from the ache in her heart. She breathed in and her eyes fluttered closed as the words of the song that was playing flowed over her. Her eyes started to tear up as she listened, and it didn't help that Quinn's blanket smelled like them; like their Friday nights and their mornings after she slept over, and Rachel's heart ached even more. They were finally close friends, but Rachel feared that was all they would ever be. Sometimes Quinn was so easy to read and other times she was like a brick wall, and Rachel just didn't know how to keep Quinn present with her in the moment. It always seemed like every time they got somewhere, Quinn would close herself off and Rachel would feel her slipping through her fingers again. Fighting back tears, she turned to face the passenger door, praying that sleep came and that the tears held off.
If you ever need somebody
If you ever need somebody to love you
If you ever need somebody
You can count on me
Quinn walked into Dunkin's and headed straight to the bathroom to splash some cold water on her face. Rachel's request for cuddles had thrown her a little and she needed to get some space from the situation before heading back to the car, and to her. The song that was playing in the car was stuck in her head, and to her dismay, the words were playing on repeat in her mind.
There's no peace of mind
Change is hard to find
Count on me
'You're just her friend, Quinn. Get a grip. She said so herself.' Quinn thought as she grabbed a paper towel and patted her face dry. Taking a deep breath, she exited the bathroom and went to stand in line. After a few minutes, it was finally her turn to order; She got a Medium hazelnut coffee and a bacon egg and cheese bagel sandwich for herself and a blueberry bagel with peanut butter for Rachel. She also grabbed an orange juice and two bottles of water just in case either of them got thirsty later. She stepped to the side to wait for her number to be called and worried that she had made Rachel upset. The thought of that was just about unbearable, and she bit down on her lip to hold back tears. What she didn't know was that at that moment, Rachel was losing the fight against her own tears.
If you ever need somebody
If you ever need somebody to love you
If you ever need somebody
You can count on me.
Back in the car, the song finally ended as Rachel covered her head with Quinn's blanket, which made it a little worse in a way because all she could smell was Quinn. She just didn't want anyone outside seeing her cry. She knew she was an emotional person, but the dancing around each other that she and Quinn were constantly doing was starting to take its toll.
Quinn stood staring off into space as the guy working behind the pickup counter called her number, and she only snapped out of her reverie when a gentleman next to her tapped her shoulder.
"Miss? Are you number 56?"
"What? Oh! God, I'm sorry. Thank you."
"No problem. Have a nice day."
"Uh, you too. Thanks." She said hurriedly as she gathered up their food and her coffee and made her way back out to the car.
She set the drink tray on the roof and opened the door, setting the bags of food down on the dashboard while she grabbed the drinks, placing them in the various cup holders throughout the car. Shutting the car door and shaking her head at herself, she turned the cd off and her eyes widened when she heard a sniffle come from the unmoving form of Rachel underneath the blanket.
"Rachel? Are you awake?" Quinn asked softly as she placed her hand on what she assumed was Rachel's shoulder.
"No." She answered with another sniffle, and Quinn knew then without a doubt that she was crying. "Please, Quinn, just leave me alone?"
She left the bags of food where she had set them on the dashboard and exited the car, quickly moving around to the passenger side. She opened the door and knelt right outside, gently lifting up the blanket. Rachel quickly buried her face into her arm, hiding her red rimmed eyes from Quinn.
"Ok, up you go. Come with me." Quinn said gently as she completely uncovered Rachel and took her hand, pulling her out of the car.
"Come where? Quinn, I look terrible."
"You look fine, and just to the backseat."
Rachel looked at her skeptically, but followed anyway. She got into the backseat and scooted over so that Quinn could sit down too. Quinn shut the door and turned to Rachel.
"Are you going to tell me why you're crying?" Quinn asked in a quiet voice. It was breaking her heart to see Rachel cry, but she had to hold it in. Rachel needed her to be a friend, and that's what she was going to be even if it killed her. Rachel shook her head no in response and wrapped Quinn's blanket tighter around scooted closer to Rachel and gently took the edges of the blanket out of Rachel's hands before she moved in and wrapped her arms around her. Rachel's chest shook a little as she fought back more sobs, but Quinn just held her close and ran her fingers up and down Rachel's back.
"Shh. It's ok, Rach."
"I don't know if it is. Ok, I mean. Maybe I'm just tired, I don't know."
Quinn didn't stop to think as she slid her hands under Rachel's thighs and lifted her up on her lap. Rachel rested her head on Quinn's shoulder, burying her nose into the crook of her neck. Wet hot tears slid down Quinn's skin and soaked into her shirt but she didn't care; What mattered to her was making sure that Rachel would be ok. Quinn rested her head against Rachel's and softly ran her fingers through her had felt her heart skip a beat and her breath caught in her lungs when she felt Quinn's hands under her thighs. She was trying to get a hold of her emotions, but Quinn was being so sweet that it made her cry even further. She buried her face into Quinn's neck, and Quinn simply held her tighter. Rachel breathed her in, and Quinn's floral and honey scent invaded her nose and started to make her feel sleepy. Being in Quinn's arms never failed to calm her down, and this was no exception.
After about ten minutes Rachel's crying had subsided and her arms grew heavy, and Quinn was pretty sure that she had fallen asleep from the exertion of her crying. Keeping one arm wrapped around Rachel, she grabbed her pillow that she had put in the backseat and placed it against the car door before leaning against it. She used her free hand to cover them both in the blanket, and slid her arm back around Rachel to join the other one. She was very thankful that her back windows were tinted so no one could see in as she kissed Rachel's head and closed her eyes.
A little while later, Quinn woke up as she felt Rachel stir in her arms.
"Quinn?" Rachel muttered and nuzzled her nose into Quinn's neck.
"Hm?" Quinn was still very groggy from the unexpected nap, and she kept her arms wrapped around Rachel and hummed a little as Rachel nuzzled her neck. They stayed like that for a few minutes while they properly woke up.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep." Rachel said, and Quinn tried her best not to shiver at the feeling of Rachel's lips brushing against her neck while she spoke.
"It's ok. Are you feeling better?"
"A little, I guess. I was probably just tired. How long was I asleep for? What time is it?" Rachel made no motions to remove her face from the crook of Quinn's neck; Her scent was comforting.
"About half an hour. It's 11:05 am."
"Oh. I'm sorry."
"It's ok. I fell asleep too." Quinn spoke softly as she turned her head a little and unexpectedly found her nose buried in Rachel's hair. She could smell her shampoo and it was a little fruity, but the scent that always caught Quinn's attention was the cinnamon and vanilla that seemed to be purely Rachel. It was warm and comforting and to Quinn it smelled like the real spices, not the cheap imitation vanilla or the fake cinnamon in big red gum. She rubbed Rachel's back a couple of times before speaking again. Rachel smelled intoxicating to Quinn, and if she expected to be able to drive she needed to put some space between herself and Rachel.
"We should probably get going." Quinn whispered into Rachel's ear, and she thought she felt her shiver, but told herself she was just imagining it.
"Right. Yeah, we should." Rachel quietly agreed, sliding slowly off of Quinn's lap and climbing up into the front seat. Quinn exited the car and walked around the back towards the driver's side and slid in behind the steering wheel. She glanced at Rachel one more time as she started the car, turned on the gps, and headed back out to the road.
Ok, so a little bit of a cliffhanger and mid-flashback, which I feel bad for doing, but I sort of felt like this would be too long if I included everything I wrote. The good news is I already have the next part of this pretty much written, so it shouldn't be as long a wait this time. Seriously, if it goes past two days it's because I forgot and I give you permission to bombard my inbox on here, lol.