We arrive in District twelve at night. The sun no longer there. The fire burned out. I go straight to my home, Haymitch following me. When I get there, I lock the door behind me, and go straight to the kitchen. There has to be a knife in there. I hear another door open, but I know it's only Haymitch. Locking the door. drinking all of his remaining liqur. If there is any. I highly doubt it, but knowing Haymitch, he probably hid some incase a disaster was to happen, and he wouldn't have to be sober for once in his sorry lifetime. For instance, me and Peeta winning the Hunger games. Peeta. I haven't thought about Peeta in a long time. I wonder how he is, if the hijacking took over his mind after what I did. Probably so, and just as he was coming back too. The old Peeta, whose smile brightend the whole room, his hands, that could create such beautiful paintings, his words, used to heal. Not hurt. I am attacked by racks of sobs. I cry and wail. I just can't help it. I killed him. I killed Finnick. Prim. Madge, who had no reason to die other then being my friend. And now I've lost Gale. My friend. My hunting partner. The only one besides Peeta that I would allow to see the weak and defenceless side of me. I know that the world would be better without me. Without a mad, murdoress girl. I make my way somehow to the kitchen, and find a butter knife. Not as sharp as I was hoping for, but enough that it would work. I start to put it up to my throat, when someone comes bursting in thru the door. "Katniss?" Peeta. So, he's not gone over the bend yet. Good. I didn't kill him after all. I start to drag the knife across my throat, when a terrible thought hits me. If he finds me in here, then he surely would go mad. no doubt about it. He would try to find me, and when he did, go completely insane. I will have to get him out of here, and try again when he leaves. But before I can even move, he's right there in the doorway, almost as if he expected me to be there. "Katniss, what are you doing?!" He grabs the knife from me and throws it at the wall, causing it to pierce right into it. He kneels down onto the floor in front of me, and grabs my shoulders and starts shaking me. "Why did you do that?! Don't ever do that again! Do you hear me?! Ever! I can't lose you too!" His face is now red and puffy from crying. He holds me in his arms. rocking me back and forth. His sobbing dies down a little, but not much. "Do you know how many times I wake up from a nightmare telling myself 'not real'? Only to find you about to slit your throat?!" He grabs my face, and pulls me closer. "Don't
Ever let that be real. Please Katniss. I can't lose you too." His tears fall silently down his face. His blue eyes locking into my gray ones.
"Peeta, I can't-"
"Yes you can, Katniss. If you won't do it for me, do it for Prim." This strikes a chord in me. I bow my head in shame. Peeta puts his hand under my chin and tilts my head up. "Look at me."
I force myself to meet his gaze.
" I love you too much Katniss. Please make me this promise." I can't. I can't even lie to him. Not while he is in this state of weakness. "Do you remember in the Quarter Quell, how I told you nobody needed me, and you said you did? Katniss, no matter how much you think nobody needs you, you're wrong. Think about it. Your mother, Gale, me." I feel the tears welling in my eyes. "Katniss, if you die I will have nobody. I would rather die than lose you. Do you understand?" I nod my head. Peeta gives a slight smile. I fall into him, his arms wrapping around me. Even with Peetas warmth, I start shivering. "God, Katniss. What did they do to you?" I realize that this must be the thinnest he's ever seen me. Even when me and Prim were slowly starving to death, we weren't as thin as I am now. I scratch my throat and discover a small cut that the butter knife must have made. "Oh Katniss." He cradles me like an infant. I must have fallen asleep, because when I woke up, I was in bed with Peeta laying next to me. His arms still wrapped around me. I look at him. He looks like he's at peace when he's asleep. Before I know what I'm doing I gently press my lips into his. I pull back when I feel him doing the same. His eyes open and he smiles. "Hey." I say as though I didn't just kiss him in his sleep.
"Hey. You're up early." Confused, I turn my head to my window facing opposite of me. And it turns out Peeta was right. It didn't look close to dawn, either. "Did you have a nightmare?" Peeta asks.
"Huh- oh! No! I...I think this is the first time that I didn't wake up from a nightmare."
"Mine too." Replies Peeta. He doesn't seem to want to know why I kissed him. "You kissed me, real or not real?" Never mind. "Real." I admit. He wraps his arms around me. I gladly go into his warm embrace. When I wake up again, I smell something. Cheese buns. Peeta knows they are my favorite. I walk downstairs into the kitchen and my suspicions were correct. Peeta from what I can tell is nowhere to be found, so I eat alone. I think of last night. How did he get here in time to stop me? Did he hear me crying? If he did, then does that mean Haymitch did too? And if he did, why didn't he come here with Peeta? Was he so drunk he passed out, or did he just not care after almost two years? About a million questions run through my head, and even after almost an hour and a half, I still don't have a slightest clue. Like as to why Peeta was in District twelve, and what did he mean by 'I need you'? Could he have meant it in a non-lovers way like I did? Or was he just saying it in a moment of desperation? By noon I still don't know. Greasy Sae comes at one to make me lunch with her granddaughter. She picked up one of my mothers blue yarn balls she used to knit with. "Claire, put that down!" Greasy Sae yelled at the little red-headed girl, who seemed to like to live in her own little world. If my world wasn't so dark and terrifying, I might just join in on the idea. "It's alright. She can have it." I tell greasy Sae. I eat my breakfast while greasy Sae watches me. Making sure I eat every last bite. No doubt told to by Haymitch or Plutarch. When they leave, I become aware of the fact that I smell terrible, so I take a shower. After about an hour of combing out my thin hair, I go to the kitchen to see what to do about the knife in the wall. I pull it out and look at the hole. It's not to big, so I could probably just put a table in front of it, and nobody would notice. I go to the meadow later that day, and try and answer my question. Like howis it that I can survive over sixteen years of starvation, two Hunger games, a rebellion and yet not know anything about love, other than it's impossible! I groan in frustration. Then I see it. The evening primrose. I look at it, afraid to touch it, like if I did I would set it on fire. "Prim." I whisper softly. It's still a little cold in district twelve, so I notice that there's is some frost on it, left behind by the cold. I feel tears wealing up in my eyes as I touch the soft petal, watching the frost melt at my touch. I feel the tears starting to fall down my cheeks. "Prim." I say a little louder this time. I hear something 'meaw' behind me, and snap my head around to see what it was. Buttercup. Of course it's Prims stupid cat. "Go away." He hiss' at me. "Go. You won't find her here, so just GO!" I scream at him. I grab a thin stick that won't make a dent in him, but all I want is for him to just go away. "Prim is dead! Do you hear me, you stupid cat!?" I wave the stick around like a manic. But he doesn't run away. He just sat there, taking it. Along the way of me screaming Prims death he must of realized something terrible has happened, and starts giving his own animal crying. I fall to my knees and hands and try to catch my breath. Buttercup comes to me and rubs against me. But instead of pushing him away, I hold him as we cry. At dusk me and Buttercup make our way to my house, where when we get there we find a frantic Peeta. "Peeta?" I'm very confused as to why he's here. "Katniss!" He holds me in his arms tightly while Buttercup goes off to find a place to sleep, and I don't blame him. He looks like he also has had a couple of sleepless weeks. "I thought you were dead! I didn't know where you were! Oh my god are you okay?!" He asks hysterical. I must still look like I've been crying and made him think something terrible has happened to me. "I'm fine Peeta. I just went out to the meadow and...I found a primrose..and-" A look of understanding appears on his face, and he holds me in his arms and rock me gently. Murmuring that it's okay and he's still there for me. I pull away and look at him. "Thank you." I say softly. We both start leaning in and our lips have barley touched when the door opens with Haymitch stumbling in. "Well sweetheart, looks like you're alive." He says as he takes a swing from a flask. So I was right about the alcohol. "Yeah. I see you're as drunk as usual." I'm a little mad he came stumbling in on an important moment.
"I got it Haymitch." Peeta says after seeing the look in my eyes. Haymitch grunts and turns to walk out saying
"Fine. I didn't wanna see you makin' babies anyway." and slams the door behind him. I look at Peeta and see what must be a mirror of my face. He has wide eyes and his face was an interesting shade of red, with his mouth partly open. We lock eyes for a moment and bust out laughing at how ridiculous we look. After our laughing fit we go to the kitchen.
"Peeta, why were you here? I mean, I thought greasy Sae was making me dinner." I ask him in confusion.
"Sae came to my door to tell me that she lost her granddaughter while shopping so she wanted to ask me if I could fill in, and I said 'yes'." He replied. I nodded and watched him for a while. After we ate, I asked Peeta a question that had been on my mind.
"Peeta, why did you come last night?" He sighs and thinks for a moment.
"I was sent here last week after you killed Coin for my safety. Or at least that's what they told me. I didn't care really, I just wanted to go home. They told me you and Haymitch were coming home that day and I wanted to see you. It was almost eleven by the time you got home, so I decided to wait until tomorrow. Then I heard screaming, and...I...I almost had an attack." I look at him. He looks like he's lost to the world, staring at the fire in the fire place.
"Peeta?" He looks at me, but not in the same caring way he did only a few moments ago. I try and move away, but his hands are around my throat before I can move. "P-Peeta." I can't breath. "P-Please. Peeta."
"Mutt!" He throws me away. I feel my head snap backwards and forward. I put a hand to my throat and cough while I try to get up, but I stumble and fall.
"Peeta..." I whisper as I drift into unconsciousness. Waiting for death to come from the boy with
the bread.