Swings

By: Illusion of the Mirror

What do you do when all you want is to forget? How do you do it? How do you erase the feeling and the pain? You can't. Every time that you try you only find agony in the repeating of the very memories you sought to put behind you. All that Sakura had wanted to do was forget. But she found herself failing over and over again in a seemingly hopeless battle.

After all this time, you're still annoying. That had cut deep. It had killed her inside; like a knife to the heart that was twisted deeper with every breath. And even as he shattered her and turned to leave, she had tried to get through to him. That was her mistake. Bitterness often holds little regard for love. She had given her heart to an individual consumed by an unreachable monster: hate.

She was trying fiercely to forget him. She was trying to leave that pain behind. She was trying to break the invisible hold her still had on her. She was trying not to want him to come back. She was trying to be happy; but happy always seemed to barely escape her frantic fingertips.

Most of the time, Sakura was able to push the hurting to the back of her mind. If she kept herself active, she didn't have time to reflect on things better left in the confines of her mind. But it always took a lot out of her when she worked to keep her feelings at bay. It was emotionally draining.

That's how she had found her therapy. It was a simple thing, but it always helped her to forget the world and all of her problems. One day, when she had been wandering aimlessly through the village, she had come upon a small, grassy park. There was a wooden playground for the children of village, and far behind it, close to the edge of the forest, was where she found her therapist: the swings.

She had seated herself with her back to the park so that she was facing the trees. She pumped her legs until she had reached the highest height attainable and then let her troubles fade away into the wind that whooshed past her as she traveled back and forth.

That was where she was now, actually. She was older now, but even though nearly two years had passed since she first found them, the swings still managed to calm her and bring a welcomed sense of peace. It was late in the day, so few children lingered on the wooden tower at her back. Most of them had gone home for dinner or to practice their jutsus for upcoming exams. That suited Sakura fine; she preferred to swing in silence.

A late-autumn breeze rustled the orange and red leaves of the trees and brought a contented shiver up Sakura's arms. She had come here after her training with Tsunade was completed for the day. It had been an especially trying day, and it didn't help that she was already struggling with her ever-present self-loathing.

Sakura sighed, letting her anxieties fall to the bottoms of her feet, and then began her journey back and forth like she had so many times before. As the wind rushed by her, it loosened her hair from its ponytail and released it to fly free in the wind. She closed her eyes and she pumped her legs and felt herself getting higher and higher in the air. That was all she concentrated on. Forward…back…forward…back…

One thing that Sakura enjoyed about her inanimate therapy was the squeaking sound that they made with her flight forward and backward. To some it may have been annoying, but not to her. It was yet another thing to concentrate her mind on as she swung; forgetting completely her life's troubles. Forward…squeak…back…squeak…forward…squeak…back…squeak… It was a peaceful rhythm that drowned out her undesired fears and insecurities; and she had plenty to drown out.

Ino and Tenten had laughed at her when they saw her on the swings before. She ignored them; they just didn't understand. They were good friends, yes, but they still had little idea of what their bubbly Sakura was going through underneath her smiling face. They really weren't looking for anything else.

Sakura recalled how they had called her custom immature and childish, and smiled weakly to herself. She knew that they were simply making fun because they were her friends. Konohamaru and Moegi hadn't really understood either, but that was fine with her. They didn't have to.

Sakura was drawn into the present moment and out of her pleasant reverie when she realized there was a second squeaking joining in with her own. Immediately, she opened her eyes and glanced to the only other swing besides her own. There, sitting in the other swing, was the only other person who did understand why she was so attached to her custom.

"Hey there, Lee," she said with a smile without slowing her swinging in the least.

"Good afternoon, Sakura," the young man answered with a wide grin of his own. "How are you doing? You do not usually stay here this long."

Sakura closed her eyes once again and thought for a moment. "I don't really know. I've just had a hard day, is all…"

Since Naruto had left to further his training with Jiraiya, Sakura had become closer and closer to a certain Taijutsu specialist. He had helped her through some of her darkest times and had nursed her back to health whenever she slipped into an unexpected low. He was her strong shoulder to lean on and cry on. He was not only her hope that things would look up, but he was also her salvation on more than one occasion.

Lee was now at the same height as Sakura and was almost in sync with her movements. However, his thoughts were not on the rhythm of his movements, but on the kunoichi that shared the swing set with him. "Do you wish to talk about it?"

Sakura turned her head and locked eyes with Lee to find the genuine care in his eyes that had always been there. She gave him her best attempt at a smile. "I don't want to bore you with my annoying issues."

There was a loud scraping sound as Lee straightened his legs and stopped his swing with his feet. Sakura slowed to a stop and looked over at him. His eyes were intense but his voice was kind when he spoke. "Sakura, when have you ever been annoying?" Sakura looked down into her lap and gripped the chains tighter.

"Please, Sakura," Lee beseeched. "I want to hear what you have to say." He always took what she said so seriously, but she couldn't really blame him after some of the things that had happened in the past between them.

"I don't know," Sakura finally replied with a sigh. "I suppose I've just been feeling down because I've been having some pretty awful dreams lately." She closed her eyes as she recalled the horrifying visuals of a particular Uchiha youth coming to the village and slaughtering her friends as the object of his hate had once done to their clan. "It's the same one as before, but it's just gotten more real and more…terrifying."

She looked up into Lee's face to see that he was taking in every word with complete understanding. "It's not that the dream itself is what's unsettling me…it's just that…"

"It is that it leaves you with that uneasy feeling when you awake; as though you have done something wrong."

Sakura sat in astonishment. "Yes, that's exactly it." She gave him a wry half-smile. "Are you reading my mind again?"

Lee shook his head and suddenly became very interested with a rock at his feet. "I have had a similar reaction to some of my own dreams. The dream lingers even though sleep is long over." He then looked back up into her eyes. "Am I close?"

He had it down to a tee. That's exactly how she had been feeling. Sakura shifted slightly so as to make her swing lightly sway. "Yeah. I guess it's just that every time I feel like I can forget about him, he shows up in my dreams." She looked down to avoid his eyes. "I just want to forget that. I want to forget the way he made me feel."

After a moment of silence where the only sound was the light squeaking of the swings and the rustling of the dry breeze in the trees, Lee rose and stood in front of her. Sakura gazed up into his compassionate face. "Is there some way that I can help?"

Sakura thought for a moment and then smiled up at him. "You could give me a push."

A wide grin split the Chunin's face and he saluted dramatically. "Yes! Of course!" He crossed around behind her and in no time, Sakura was soaring high once again. She giggled as she thought about how silly she must have looked, but it made her laugh even more when she realized that she really didn't care.

Lee listened to her laughing as he pushed her on that ancient swing. It was a sound that he loved so very much and though he had rarely heard it after Sasuke left, he was beginning to hear it more and more often.

As the sun dropped farther in the sky, Sakura realized it would be getting dark out soon and that she should be getting home. On the next upswing, she leapt off the moving swing, flew through the air, and landed on the soft grass below.

Lee stopped the bouncing, empty swing and then approached Sakura, giving her his hand to help her to her feet. She accepted his open hand and smiled brightly. "Thank you, Lee," she said, enfolding him in an embrace. "You really cheered me up today."

Lee wrapped his arms protectively around her and rested his chin on the top of her head. "You are very welcome, Sakura. I am always here for you."

These words caused Sakura to hold him tighter as her eyes misted over. "I really don't deserve that."

Lee backed away and held her at arm's length. His dark brown eyes searched her own aqua ones until she looked down. "No, that is not true." He placed a finger under her chin and raised her face until she met his gaze once more. "Please do not sell yourself short, Sakura."

His eyes held such admiration for her. She could see his unconditional strength of heart and his rough inner-beauty. The emotion that his eyes held was one of the biggest things that drew her to him. He was so genuine.

Cautiously, she lifted her hand and lightly grazed his cheek with her fingertips. He reached up and took her hand into his own. Sakura looked down at her hand in his and somehow, it felt so right. She slowly looked up into his eyes and smiled softly. With his free hand, Lee tucked a few stray strands of her hair behind her ear and then brought his lips down to meet hers.

Sakura felt light as a feather as all her tension washed away in an instant. As he slowly pulled away with a nervous look on his face, she gave his hand an affirming squeeze. No words needed to be said and Sakura felt a blush come to her cheeks as Lee squeezed her hand back.

With his free hand, Lee gestured in the direction of the village. "Shall we?"

"Under one condition," Sakura answered. Lee cocked his head in a question. She smiled broadly and gave a slight laugh. "Will you come swing with me tomorrow?"

Lee returned her smile a thousand fold. "Yes, of course!"

o