A few notes
1. If you notice more than just a passing similarity there's a reason for that...I confess this is mainly the scripted dialogue with the GW alterations made for humor (so a number of conversations are shortened/skipped over due to lack of conversion capability, such as the opening restaurant conversation)
and
3. This is my first attempt at a Gundam fic so I apologize if it sucks
Having said that, on with the show
PULP GUNDAM
based on a story by:
Quentin Tarantino
PULP (pulp) n. 1. A soft, moist, shapeless mass or matter.
2. A magazine or book containing lurid subject matter and being characteristically
printed on rough, unfinished paper.
American Heritage Dictionary
New College Edition
GUNDAM (Gundam)- Really great anime (need I say more)
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Today's chapter
1. PROLOGUE
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1.INT. COFFEE SHOP -MORNING 1.
A normal Denny's, Spires-like coffee shop on Earth. It's about 9:00 in the morning. While the place isn't jammed, there's a healthy number of people drinking coffee, munching on bacon and eating eggs.
Two of these people are a YOUNG MAN and a YOUNG WOMAN. The Young Man is 15, blonde, and arabic. It is impossible to tell where the Young Woman is from or how old she is, she is pale, blond, and has oddly pointed eyebrows; everything she does contradicts something she did.
The boy and girl sit in a booth.
[Editor's note: You know those incompatible dialogues I was warning you about, there was one of 'em...sorry)
The Young Woman visibly takes in the idea. The Young Man continues in a low voice.
YOUNG MAN
See, I got the idea last liquor store we stuck up. Remember all those customers kept comin' in?
YOUNG WOMAN
Yeah.
YOUNG MAN
Then you got the idea to take everybody's wallet.
YOUNG WOMAN
Uh-huh.
YOUNG MAN
That was a good idea.
YOUNG WOMAN
Thank you.
YOUNG MAN
We made more from the wallets then we did the register.
YOUNG WOMAN
Yes we did.
YOUNG MAN
A lot of people go to restaurants.
YOUNG WOMAN
A lot of wallets.
YOUNG MAN
Pretty smart, huh?
The Young Woman scans the restaurant with this new information. She sees all the PATRONS eating, lost in conversations. The tires WAITRESS, taking orders. The BUSBOYS going through the motions, collecting dishes. The MANAGER complaining to the COOK about something. A smiles breaks out on the Young Woman's face.
YOUNG WOMAN
Pretty smart.
(into it)
I'm ready, let's go, right here, right now.
YOUNG MAN
Remember, same as before, you're crowd control, I handle the employees.
YOUNG WOMAN
Got it.
They both take out their .32-caliber pistols and lay them on the table. He looks at her and she back at him.
YOUNG WOMAN
I love you, Mr. Winner.
YOUNG MAN
I love you, Dorothy.
And with that, Quatre and Dorothy grab their weapons, stand up and rob the restaurant.
Quatre's robbery persona is that of the in-control professional. Dorothy's is that of the psychopathic, hair-triggered, loose cannon.
QUATRE
(yelling to all)
Everybody keep calm, we don't want to hurt you, this is a robbery!
DOROTHY
Any of you fuckin' pricks move and I'll execute every one of you motherfuckers! Got that?
CUT TO: CREDIT SEQUENCE:
PULP FICTION
(Instrumental version of Just Communication from American end credits plays (Pretty much all the music is now anime music) as cast rolls
Heero Yuy as Heero Vega
Duo Maxwell as Duo Winfield
Trowa Barton as Trowa Butch
Chang Wufei as Marsellus Wufei
Quatre Raberba Winner as himself
Relena Darlian as Relena Wufei
Dorothy Catalonia as herself
Treize Khushrenada as Lance
Zechs Merquise as Milliardo 'The Wolf'
and more
2. INT. '74 CHEVY (MOVING) - MORNING
2.
An old gas guzzling, dirty, white 1974 Chevy Nova BARRELS down a homeless-ridden street in The Sanc Kingdom. Rhythym Emotion is playing on the radio. In the front seat are
two young fellas -- one Japanese, one American -- both wearing cheap black suits with thin black ties under long green dusters. Their names are HEERO VEGA (Japanese) and DUO WINNFIELD (American). Duo is behind the wheel.
DUO
-- okay now, tell me about the Gundam policies?
HEERO
What so you want to know?
DUO
Well, Gundams are legal there, right?
HEERO
Yeah, they're legal, but they aren't a hundred percent legal. I mean you can't walk into an OZ factory, charge up your weapons, and start killing Leos. You're only supposed to use them in certain designated places.
DUO
Those are combat zones?
HEERO
Yeah, it breaks down like this:
it's legal to own them, it's legal to fly them and, if you're the proprietor of a hangar, it's legal to sell them. It's legal to transport them, which doesn't really matter 'cause -- get a load of this -- if the Specials stop you, it's illegal for this to search you. Searching you is a right that the Specials on the Colonies don't have.
DUO
That did it, man -- I'm fuckin' goin', that's all there is to it.
HEERO
You'll like it the most. But you know what the funniest thing about the colonies is?
DUO
What?
HEERO
It's the little differences. A lot of the same shit we got here, they got there, but there they're a little different.
DUO
Examples?
HEERO
Well, on L-3, you can buy beer in a movie theatre. And I don't mean in a paper cup either. They give you a glass of beer, like in a bar. In L-2, you can buy beer at MacDonald's. Also, you know what they call a Wing Gundam on L-2?
DUO
They don't call it a Wing Gundam?
HEERO
No, they use the metric system out there, they wouldn't know what the fuck a Wing Gundam is.
DUO
What'd they call it?
HEERO
Gundam 01.
DUO
(repeating)
Gundam 01. What'd they call a Tallgeese?
HEERO
Tallgeese is Tallgeese, but they call it THE Tallgeese.
DUO
What do they call a Zaku?
HEERO
I dunno, I didn't go into a UC section. But you know what magazines they sell on L-4 instead of hentai?
DUO
What?
HEERO
Yaoi.
DUO
Goddamn!
HEERO
I've seen them sell it. And I don't mean a little side article in an assorted hentai magazine, they have full magazines for it.
DUO
Uuccch!
CUT TO:
3.INT. CHEVY (TRUNK) - MORNING
3.
The trunk of the Chevy OPENS UP, Duo and Heero reach inside, taking out two .45 Automatics, loading and cocking them.
DUO
We should have buster rifles for this kind of deal.
HEERO
How many up there?
DUO
Mission profile said three or four.
HEERO
Counting our guy?
DUO
I'm not sure.
HEERO
So there could be five guys up there?
DUO
It's possible.
HEERO
We should have fucking buster rifles.
They CLOSE the trunk.
CUT TO:
4. EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING COURTYARD - MORNING
4.
Heero and Duo, their long matching overcoats practically dragging on the ground, walk through the courtyard of what looks like a hacienda-style Sanc Kingdom apartment building.
HEERO
What's her name?
DUO
Relena.
HEERO
How did Marsellus and her meet?
DUO
Sort of a marriage of convenience, however people meet people. She usta be a politician.
HEERO
She ever do anything I would have remembered?
DUO
I think her biggest deal was she was a big-time pacifist.
HEERO
What's a pacifist?
DUO
Well, you know the modern politics?
HEERO
I'm not into politics.
DUO
Yes, but you're aware that there's a practice called politics, and in that practice there are political ideologies?
HEERO
Yeah.
DUO
Well, the theory behind pacifism is total peace, not even violence in defense. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, and fails. She was involved in one of the ones that failed.
They enter the apartment building.
5. INT. RECEPTION AREA (APARTMENT BUILDING) -MORNING
5.
Heero and Duo walk through the reception area and wait for the elevator.
DUO
You remember Dr. J? Had the fake arm, usta call him Dr. Strangelove.
HEERO
Yeah maybe, old right?
DUO
I wouldn't go so far as to call the guy old. He's got a greying. What's the guy gonna do, he's a Gundam scientist.
HEERO
I think I know who you mean, what about him?
DUO
Well, Marsellus fucked his ass up good. And word around the Zero System, it was on account of Marsellus Wufei's wife.
The elevator arrives, the men step inside.
6.INT. ELEVATOR - MORNING 6.
HEERO
What'd he do, make hentai with her?
DUO
No no no no no no no, nothin' that bad.
HEERO
Well what then?
DUO
He refit her MS.
HEERO
Refit her MS?
Duo nods his head: "Yes."
HEERO
That's all?
Duo nods his head: "Yes."
HEERO
What did Marsellus do?
DUO
Sent a couple of guys over to his place. They took him out on the patio of his apartment, threw his ass over the balcony. Sucker fell four stories. They had this garden at the bottom, enclosed in glass, like one of them greenhouses -- the guy fell through that. Since then, he's had his other hand replaced with a fake too.
The elevator doors open, Duo and Heero exit.
HEERO
That's a damn shame.
7. INT. APARTMENT BUILDING HALLWAY - MORNING
7.
STEADICAM in front of Duo and Heero as they make a beeline down the hall.
HEERO
Still I hafta say, play with MSs, ya get shot.
DUO
Whaddya mean?
HEERO
You don't be giving Marsellus Wufei's new bride's MS a refit.
DUO
You don't think he overreacted?
HEERO
Dr. J probably didn't expect Marsellus to react like he did, but he had to expect a reaction.
DUO
It was a refit, a refit is nothing, I give my
mother's MS a refit.
HEERO
It's laying hands on Marsellus Wufei's new wife in a familiar way. Is it as bad as making hentai -- no, but you're in the same fuckin' ballpark.
Duo stops Heero.
DUO
Whoa...whoa...whoa...stop right there. Makin' hentai with a girl, and givin' her MS a refit ain't even the same fuckin' thing.
HEERO
Not the same thing, the same ballpark.
DUO
It ain't no ballpark either. Look maybe your method of refit differs from mine, but touchin' his lady's MS, and doin things which ain't for CN viewers, ain't the same ballpark, ain't the same league, ain't even the same fuckin' sport. MS refits don't mean shit.
HEERO
Have you ever done a refit?
DUO
Don't be tellin' me about refits -- I'm the fuckin' refit master.
HEERO
Given a lot of 'em?
DUO
Fuck yeah. I got my technique down man, I don't scratch it or nothin'.
HEERO
Have you ever given a Gundam a refit?
Duo looks at him a long moment -- he's been set up.
DUO
Fuck you.
He starts walking down the hall. Heero, smiling, walks a little bit behind.
HEERO
How many?
DUO
Fuck you.
HEERO
Would you give my Gundam a refit -- It's kinda battered.
DUO
Man, you best back off, I'm gittin' pissed --this is the door.
The two men stand in front of the door numbered "49." They whisper.
DUO
What time is it?
HEERO
(checking his watch)
Seven-twenty-two in the morning.
DUO
It ain't quite time, let's fall back.
They move a little away from the door, facing each other, still whispering.
DUO
Look, just because I wouldn't give no Gundam a refit, don't make it right for Marsellus to throw Dr. J off a building into a glass- motherfuckin-house, fuckin' up the way the doc writes. That ain't right, man. Motherfucker do that to me, he better paralyze my ass, 'cause I'd kill'a motherfucker.
HEERO
I'm not saying he was right, but you're saying a refit don't mean nothing, and I'm saying it does. I've given a million ladies a million refits and they all meant something. We act like they don't, but they do. That's what's so fuckin' cool about 'em.
This personal thing's going on that nobody's talkin about, but you know it and she knows it, fucking Marsellus knew it, and Dr. J shoulda known fucking better. That's his fucking wife, man. He isn't gonna have a sense of humor about that shit.
DUO
That's an interesting point, but let's get into character.
HEERO
What's her name again?
DUO
Relena. Why you so interested in big man's wife?
HEERO
Well, Marsellus is leaving for Florida and when he's gone, he left me the mission to take care of Relena.
DUO
Take care of her?
Making a gun out of his finger and placing it to his head.
HEERO
Not that! Take her out. Show her a good time. Don't let her get lonely.
DUO
You're gonna be takin' Relena Wufei out on a date?
HEERO
It isn't a date. It's like when you and your buddy's wife go to a movie or something. It's just...you know...good company.
Duo just looks at him.
HEERO
It's not a date.
Duo just looks at him.
HEERO
I'm not gonna be a bad boy.
Duo shakes his head and mumbles to himself.
DUO
Bitch gonna kill more pilots than time.
HEERO
What was that?
DUO
Nothin'. Let's get into character.
HEERO
What'd you say?
DUO
I didn't say shit. Let's go to work.
HEERO
Don't play with me, you said something, now what was it?
DUO
(referring to the job)
Do you wanna do this?
HEERO
I want you to repeat what you said.
DUO
That door's gonna open in about thirty seconds, so git yourself together --
HEERO
-- my self is together --
DUO
-- bullshit it is. Stop thinkin' 'bout that pacifist, and get yourself together like a qualified pro.
8. INT. APARTMENT (ROOM 49) - MORNING
8.
THREE YOUNG GUYS, obviously in over their heads, sit at a table with hamburgers, french fries and soda pops laid out.
One of them flips the LOUD BOLT on the door, opening it to
REVEAL Duo and Heero in the hallway.
DUO
Hey kids.
The two men stroll inside.
The three young caught-off-guard Guys are:
OTTO
The young pilot, who opened the door, will, as the scene progresses, back into the corner.
MULLER
Another pilot, who has yet to say a word, sits at the table with a big sloppy hamburger in his hand.
QUINZE
A white, preppy-looking sort with a blow-dry haircut (long white) and glasses.
Heero and Duo take in the place, with their hands in their pockets. Duo is the one who does the talking.
DUO
How you boys doin'?
No answer.
DUO
(to Quinze)
Am I trippin', or did I just ask you a question.
QUINZE
We're doin' okay.
As Duo and Quinze talk, Heero moves behind the young Guys.
DUO
Do you know who we are?
Quinze shakes his head: "No."
DUO
We're associates of your business partner Marsellus Wufei, you remember your business partner dont'ya?
No answer.
DUO
(to Quinze)
Now I'm gonna take a wild guess here: you're Quinze, right?
QUINZE
I'm Quinze.
DUO
I thought so. Well, you remember your business partner Marsellus Wufei, dont'ya Quinze?
QUINZE
I remember him.
DUO
Good for you. Looks like me and Heero caught you at breakfast, sorry 'bout that. What'cha eatin'?
QUINZE
Hamburgers.
DUO
Hamburgers. The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast. What kinda hamburgers?
QUINZE
Cheeseburgers.
DUO
No, I mean where did you get'em? MacDonald's, Wendy's, Jack-in-the-Box, where?
QUINZE
Big Zam Burger.
DUO
Big Zam Burger. That's that Zeonic burger joint. I heard they got some tasty burgers. I ain't never had one myself, how are they?
QUINZE
They're good.
DUO
Mind if I try one of yours?
QUINZE
No.
DUO
Yours is this one, right?
QUINZE
Yeah.
Duo grabs the burger and take a bite of it.
DUO
Uuummmm, that's a tasty burger.
(to Heero)
Heero, you ever try a Big Zam Burger?
HEERO
No.
Duo holds out the Big Zam.
DUO
You wanna bite, they're real good.
HEERO
I'm not hungry.
DUO
Well, if you like hamburgers give 'em a try sometime. Me, I can't usually eat 'em 'cause Hilde's a vegetarian. Which more or less makes me a vegetarian, but I sure love the taste of a good burger.
(to Quinze)
You know what they call a Wing Gundam on L-3?
QUINZE
No.
DUO
Tell 'em, Heero.
HEERO
Gundam 01.
DUO
Gundam 01, you know why they call it that?
QUINZE
Because of the metric system?
DUO
Check out the big brain on Quinze. You're a smart motherfucker, that's right. The metric system. (he points to a fast food drink cup) What's in this?
QUINZE
Sprite.
DUO
Sprite, good, mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down with?
QUINZE
Sure.
Duo grabs the cup and takes a sip.
DUO
Uuuuummmm, hit's the spot!
(to Muller)
You, cannon fodder, you know what we're here for?
Muller nods his head: "Yes."
DUO
Then why don't you tell my boy here Heero, where you got the **** hid.
OTTO
It's under the be --
DUO
-- I don't remember askin' you a goddamn thing.
(to Muller)
You were sayin'?
MULLER
It's under the bed.
Heero moves to the bed, reaches underneath it, pulling out a black snap briefcase.
HEERO
Got it.
Heero flips the two locks, opening the case. We can't see what's inside, but a small glow emits from the case. Heero just stares at it, transfixed.
DUO
We happy?
No answer from the transfixed Heero.
DUO
Heero!
Heero looks up at Duo.
DUO
We happy?
Closing the case.
HEERO
We're happy.
QUINZE
(to Duo)
Look, what's your name? I got his name's Heero, but what's yours?
DUO
My codename's Pitt, and you ain't talkin' your ass outta this shit.
QUINZE
I just want you to know how sorry we are about how fucked up things got between us and Mr. Wufei. When we entered into this thing, we only had the best intentions --
As Quinze talks, Duo takes out his gun and SHOOTS Muller three times in the chest, BLOWING him out of his chair.
Heero smiles (creepy) to himself. Duo has got style.
Quinze has just shit his pants. He's not crying or whimpering, but he's so full of fear, it's as if his body is imploding.
DUO
(to Quinze)
Oh, I'm sorry. Did that break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue. I believe you were saying something about "best intentions."
Quinze can't say a word.
DUO
Whatsamatter? Oh, you were through anyway. Well, let me retort. Would you describe for me what Marsellus Wufei looks like?
Quinze still can't speak.
Duo SNAPS, SAVAGELY TIPPING the card table over, removing the only barrier between himself and Quinze. Quinze now sits in a lone chair before Duo like a political prisoner in front of an interrogator.
DUO
What colony you from!
QUINZE
(petrified)
What?
DUO
"What" ain't no colony I know! Do they speak English on "What?"
QUINZE
(near heart attack)
What?
DUO
English-motherfucker-can-you-speak-it?
QUINZE
Yes.
DUO
Then you understand what I'm sayin'?
QUINZE
Yes.
DUO
Now describe what Marsellus Wufei looks like!
QUINZE
(out of fear)
What?
Duo takes his .45 and PRESSES the barrel HARD in Quinze's cheek.
DUO
Say "What" again! C'mon, say "What" again! I dare ya, I double dare ya motherfucker, say "What" one more goddamn time!
Quinze is regressing on the spot.
DUO
Now describe to me what Marsellus Wufei looks like!
Quinze does his best.
QUINZE
Well he's ...he's...got black hair--
DUO
-- go on!
QUINZE
...and he's...he's...Chinese --
DUO
-- does he look like a bitch?!
QUINZE
(without thinking)
What?
Duo's eyes go to Heero, Heero smirks, Duo rolls his eyes and SHOOTS Quinze in the shoulder.
Quinze SCREAMS, breaking into a SHAKING/TREMBLING SPASM in the chair.
DUO
Does-he-look-like-a-bitch?!
QUINZE
(in agony)
No.
DUO
Then why did you try to fuck 'im like a bitch?!
QUINZE
(in spasm)
I didn't.
Now in a lower voice.
DUO
Yes ya did Quinze. Ya tried ta fuck 'im. You ever read the Bible, Quinze?
QUINZE
(in spasm)
Yes.
DUO
There's a passage I got memorized, seems appropriate for this situation: Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the God of Death when I lay my vengeance upon you."
The two men EMPTY their guns at the same time on the sitting Quinze.
When they are finished, the bullet-ridden carcass just sits there for a moment, then TOPPLES over.
All is quiet.
The only SOUND is Otto MUTTERING in the corner.
OTTO
...goddamn...goddamn...that was fucked up...goddamn, that was cold-blooded...
HEERO
(pointing to Otto)
Friend of yours?
DUO
Yeah, Otto-Heero-Heero-Otto.
HEERO
Tell 'em to shut up, he's gettin' on my nerves.
DUO
Otto, I'd knock that shit off if I was you.
Then suddenly the bathroom door BURSTS OPEN, and a FOURTH MAN (random OZ pilot) comes CHARGING out, a silver Magnum in his hand.
FOURTH MAN
Die...die...die...die...die...die!
The Fourth Man FIRES SIX BOOMING SHOTS from his hand cannon in the direction of Heero and Duo. He SCREAMS a maniacal cry of revenge until he's DRY FIRING.
Then...his face does a complete change of expression. It goes from a "Vengeance is mine" expression, to a "What the fuck" blank look.
FOURTH MAN
I don't understand --
The Fourth Man is BLOWN OFF HIS FEET and OUT OF FRAME by bullets that TEAR HIM TO SHREDS.
He leaves the FRAME EMPTY.
FADE TO BLACK
TO BE CONTINUED
PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS THEY WOULD BE MUCH APPRECIATED