Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi!
Author's note: Based on Bittersweet Symphony pt 2. I wish he hadn't died!
It was hard trying to forget. She told herself she had to be strong, but who was she kidding. Katie could see right through her, and the whole school probably could as well. She glanced down at the floor, tears sliding down her face as she played her cello. All she wanted to do was drown in the bittersweet symphony. It wasn't fair. He had left her. He never said goodbye. Did he even think of her moments before he did it?
Setting down the cello, Maya stood up. Her legs felt like jelly; they had fallen asleep from the lack of movement. She had sat down in the band room after the last bell rung and hadn't gotten up since then. Her face was tearstained. She trudged through the hallways of Degrassi. Despite it being late, there were still a few students lingering in the halls; those avoided any eye contact with her. She had made it clear that she wants no pity.
She reached the parking lot and let out a scream. She was angry. How could he leave her? She would have helped him, if she only knew! Hell, she was upset with herself. She should have realized. From the moment, he fell from the catwalk, she should have known that he was messed up. But she took his word for it, and now look. This was all her fault. She was to blame. Campbell was dead because she was blind. A horrible sob escaped her lips. If only she had tried harder to get him to open up. If only she had done something! Why had she taken Zig's side the other day after green went against red? All he needed was someone's support. Someone who didn't yell at him. Someone who wasn't disappointed in him. Why couldn't she have done that?
"Maya…"
The sudden invasion of another person took her by surprise. She had assumed that she was the only one out here. She didn't expect anyone to see her in this state. She had promised that she wouldn't cry. Campbell had committed suicide. He had made a choice. The wrong one but a choice. She had made it clear that night how she felt about the issue. But here was she on the parking lot floor, tears in her eyes. She felt warm hands embrace her shaking form from behind.
"That it….let it all out," Katie whispered, and Maya placed her head on the girl's shoulder.
She didn't care anymore if someone saw her crying. She was hurting. She was angry, sad, and so much more. She had never felt so much emotions at once. Campbell had done this to her. She should be mad at him, but she wasn't. Her anger was directed to everyone who tormented him, day after day. If his captain had laid off a little….if Zig had just left him alone…and if she had tried harder. What was she saying? She gave him her everything. All she ever did was for him. She loved the boy so much, and now he was gone. The only thing she had of him was the text-video from the day of the suicide.
"Katie…I miss him so much," she whispered against her sister's shoulder. Her eyes were red, but no more tears were falling. The girl was cried out.
Katie squeezed her gently, "I know," She whispered softly, rubbing her back gently. "It'll get easier."
How could she say that? What gave her the right to say things would get easier? Things didn't seem to getting easier anytime soon. Campbell was gone. She didn't see any light behind all of this. Any reason to be optimistic. But she didn't speak these thoughts, she simply nodded.
"C'mon. Let's go…it's almost dark." Katie whispered as she got up and had to bring her sister to her feet.
Standing on the floor, it felt like she carried a deadweight on her shoulders. Things would never be the same. She would never hear his voice in person again. Never kiss him. Most of all, he would never hear her say that she loves him, and love him she does so much. Katie had to carry her to the car and buckle her up. Maya was gone tonight, and probably would be gone for a while. She couldn't think straight anymore. She was so loss. She didn't understand. Why did these things happen? Most of all, why to them?
She barely registered as she closed her eyes, drifting off. She wished she could stay asleep forever and never have to face the daylight. If she could, she would. But outside the bedroom doors, her life awaited her. Campbell was dead but she had to keep on living. He would have wanted it that way.
