Enter the tired HOST CLUB: Takami, Honey-Sempai, Mori-Sempai, Haruhi and Kyoya. ZOOM OUT to view ballroom, where the club is meeting
NARRATOR announces in BATMAN voice: WELCOME, to the Ouran High School Host Club. Here is where Ouran Academy's finest boys, who have too much time on their hands, flirt with the finest girls in society, who also have too much time on their hands. Now, let's begin…
START of scene-cue cheery music
TAKAMI yawns: Why, my fellow gentlemen, it has been a glorious day for the host club! Tiring, yes but nonetheless passionate, this is exactly what our ladies are looking for!
TAKAMI sits down
TAKAMI continues, rather cheerily: Well, now! With our twins gone on vacation, I would've thought I'd see more happy faces! KYOYA, count up our earnings for the day, MORI-SEMPAI, get HONEY a piece of cake-
HONEY interrupts abruptly: Don't forget USA-CHAN!
HONEY starts hugging his stuffed bunny, USA-CHAN
MORI is already on his way to the nearest pastry shop
TAKAMI starts laughing: of course! For USA-CHAN, as well! Haruhi, my beloved daughter, come sit on daddy's lap! You can tell him all about your time with our valued customers!
TAKAMI starts daydreaming about spinning HARUHI around in circles
KYOYA interrupts TAMAKI'S daydream: I suggest that you stay alert, Prince Charming. We need to focus on next week's theme.
HARUHI looks ahead: I think… we should do a Heaven theme…
TAMAKI gets up from his chair with arms spread out: why, that's a lovely idea, my Haruhi! We shall do a Heaven theme next week and it shall be splendid! Yes, it should involve roses! Lots and lots of rose petals-
Both KYOYA and HARUHI yell: NO ROSES!
TAMAKI is startled and tries to pull his sad-puppy-eyes on them: but…but why not?
ZOOM IN on HARUHI'S grimace: ugh, you guys use way too much rose petals already. It's becoming a cliché! Don't you find it tacky, KYOYA-KUN, whenever someone opens our club doors, rose petals appear from nowhere and start flying towards people's faces?
KYOYA nods and pushes up his glasses with forefinger: I agree, and our "signature" roses are costing us abundant amounts of money per bundles. Normally, we would be able to afford it, but…
KYOYA glances at a guilty-looking HARUHI
KYOYA continues: ….since some of us tend to be inept at noticing a 50 million yen vase before breaking it, we can't simply pay the expenses-plus shipping and handling.
HARUHI gathers her school equipment: I have to finish my homework like a COMMONER does. Honestly, I'm tired of picking up all those rose petals. I didn't sign up to be a janitor-OR a host member! But I just had to be born with a zero balance rate.
Camera follows HARUHI, who exits ballroom and notices MORI being followed by a group of handsome men in the hallway. One of them bumps into her and smirks as she passes by without noticing.
(voiceover) HARUHI thinks: who are those well-fitted men? MORI'S suitors?
HARUHI giggles softly
(voiceover) HARUHI continues her thoughts: There are always new things happening in the HOST CLUB! Mom, you'd better hope MORI saves me a piece of cake for tomorrow…
SCENE FADES as HARUHI steps out of OURAN ACADEMY'S doors, not noticing that the man who bumped into her is staring after her through an open window.