Inspired by a real conversation with my mom.
Special thanks to my dear Beta Ennui Enigma , who heavily edited the original and sized it down to a 221B, my first one ever!
I do not own any of the characters of BBC Sherlock.
"John, you're drawing attention. Control yourself!"
John pinched his nose and stifled a shake of his shoulders.
"I don't believe my statement merits your reaction." Sherlock was getting exasperated.
John wiped a tear and nodded a silent "yes".
Just then Lestrade entered the café, "I've been looking -" He broke mid-sentence. "What's wrong, John? What did you do, Sherlock?"
"Nothing! He's been like this since I sent our waiter away to fix the bill"
John took a deep breath.
"Hello, Lestrade!"
"What's happening? What's with the waiter and bill?"
"Well…" John dissolved into another bought of mirth.
"I don't understand what's so funny," Sherlock frowned. "The waiter brought our bill. We'd ordered two coffees but the bill showed an additional seven espressos. I told him to correct it."
John managed to gasp. "The imagery… priceless…" Letrade turned to Sherlock.
"I merely pointed out that if we'd consumed seven espressos, we wouldn't be seated here; rather, we'd be tap dancing round the café all the way to Scotland Yard."
John giggled.
Ignoring him, Sherlock continued. "It's illogical. Seven's an odd number, impossible to share equally."
Lestrade grinned. "The secret raison d'être you run endlessly round the city revealed at last! In that case, add another two for me!"
John nearly fell off his chair. Sherlock rolled his eyes.
"Breathe, John, breath!"