Frank Longbottom is a Gryffindor 7th year. The other boys in his dormitory- the Weasley twins and Caradoc Dearborn- are always very 'busy' and do not

have a lot of time to be friends with Frank. The twins, Fabian and Gideon Prewett, never stop causing mischief and making all sorts of useless spells and

pranks. Caradoc is always spending time with his 'girlfriend' - he gets a new one every week. So oftentimes, Frank would head down to the 6th year boys

dormitory for company. Late in his 7th year, when he came down, only James Potter and Sirius Black were there.

"Look who it is!" cried James as Frank entered. "It's Frank Longbottom himself!"

"We were just talking about you, mate," said Sirius while gesturing to the end of his bed where Frank could sit down.

"And what were you saying?" asked Frank good naturedly as he sat

James and Sirius exchanged glances.

" We were only saying . . ." began Sirius tentatively, "that you have seemed different since you came back from Easter holiday."

" I wonder why that is,"he replied, knowing exactly why that was.

"You almost seem . . . more mature or something," said James. He looked at Frank with narrowed eyes. "We know you know, mate. You can tell us

anything. We'll keep our lips sealed."

Frank looked long and hard at both boys before giving in.

"Oh all right!" he cried throwing up his hands in surrender. "I fancy a girl," he says with flaming cheeks.

Sirius gives a knowing chuckle. James makes a face.

"Who is it?" asked Sirius.

"Alice Lachlan," Frank said and gave a dreamy smile.

James pulled another face and gave an almighty groan. "When will I ever see a guy over 16 who is not fancying a girl!? Nearly everyone is 'in love' with one person or another. I

can't even name one guy who does not fancy some girl who's just going to leave him when a better looking one walks in."

"I don't fancy a girl," Sirius protested.

"You don't count," James replied quickly.

Sirius only frowned.

James continued. "Why can't we all just . . . I dunno . . .be single until we graduate."

"I'm almost done with 7th year, James," Frank reminded him.

James was silent.

"But have you even seen her!?" Frank demanded of them.

Sirius nodded, looking somewhat bored of the subject.

James muttered, "Yeah probably at least once this year."

"Tell me truthfully. What do you think of her?" asked Frank.

"Do you want my opinion as a friend or my brutally honest opinion?" asked James.

"I want you to be brutally honest."

"Well," said James, considering, "She's too short; too round; her hair is to light; she's too mellow; altogether, I'm not a fan of her."

Frank was in shock. "How could anyone not love her?! Just look at her! She's so sweet and rosy. Her eyes are gorgeous. Have you ever noticed that when

she blushes, her cheeks go bright and her eyes sparkle."

James was horrified. "Her eyes sparkle . . . " he mouthed.

"And when she smiles, she could light up the dark side of the moon. I'll bet that she could walk through Hogwarts at night if she wanted to. Her laugh is amazing also. Whenever I

hear it, I just have to smile, it is that infectious. I really hope she likes me back. I've been trying to act a little more mature so maybe she'd notice me or something but . .

. I don't think it's quite working. Sometimes I do think she likes me though. She smiled at me once in Potions. Then again she smiles at everyone. If she doesn't fancy me, I swear

I'll go mental. "

"Are you done yet?" asked Sirius with some concern.

Frank nodded, his eyes locked on nothing in particular.

"Well I am going to remain single until die," James pronounced. "Girls warp guys' minds and make them see things that aren't there. Their 'love' is nothing

more than snogging in a cupboard. Real love is like, caring so much for someone you don't care if you ever get to snog them or even if they love you back. It's just wanting them to

be happy. Snogging is all this 'love' is anyways. I don't see the point of snogging. Therefore, I will die a single man. And if I ever do become so mad as to . . . fall . . . in . . . love. "

James winced every word. "I hereby give you permission to beat me until I die. Then, I ask you to put on my gravestone Here lies James Potter who died from a girlfriend."

"Whatever happened to Lily Evans?" asked Frank suspiciously.

"What about her?" asked James delicately.

"Didn't you ask her out a couple of times?" asked Frank.

"Yes," said James hurriedly, "But only to get back at Snape."

"When," said Sirius smugly, "and not if, but when you get a girlfriend. I will use this speech against you."

"As I said," James said," I will remain-"

"-single until the day I die," finished Frank and Sirius in unison.