A/N: I will always take creative criticism but flames will be for the campfire this summer. This story is not beta-edited. . If you see any grammar or typo errors then please forgive me. This is a one shot and there will be no sequels to this story. Also, there is a wise Yuki involvement, but only minor involvement. More A/N following this story.
Warning: This story contains major OOC'ness, and not to mention b/b love or Yaoi. If you don't like this kind of story, please hit the back button. You have been warned.
Disclaimer: I don't own VK, or the characters. My plot bunnies own this story but they love borrowing Kaname and Zero for their own Purposes. I own nothing but my plot bunnies. All honor for the original story and characters goes to Hino-Sama, bless her wonderful and creative heart.
Summary: Kaname and Zero have been arguing and a huge rift comes between them, all because Zero want to take a vacation with Kaname and Kaname doesn't trust anyone to run the office with they are gone, so he can't leave. (NO SEX SCENE, SORRY)
Title: Matters Of the Heart
Kaname was dreading driving home, even as he is doing that very thing right now. It wasn't because he didn't love Zero, his mate, but for a couple of reasons. He knew he had been busy lately, REALLY busy, and yes he missed Zero because of his more than unusual busy schedule, but he was having an increasingly hard time seeing Zero become increasingly more depressed. Zero had been trying to get him to take a break and go on a vacation with him, or to at least bring in someone that could help him take on some of his responsibilities. He really wants to get away for a while and take Zero with him. They could both really use it, and yet he can't. He is the sole owner of multiple corporations and there are very few he could trust to not only run things while he was gone, but also to not screw him over. Zero is obviously one of them, but that would be counterproductive. The other would be Takuma, his childhood best friend and brother in all but blood, but that too would be out of the question since he has his own company that he needs to run. Taking a deep breath, he sighs as he rounds the corner and turns on the driveway to his house. All he can do is to continue to see if he can get Zero to see things his way.
When he steps into the house, it's all dark and eerily silent. A chill runs up his spine and his instincts are telling him that something is wrong. He normally comes home to finding his dinner on the dining room table, his food cold, and the sound of the TV in the dark living room on with Zero having fallen asleep. Tonight however, there is none of that and it sends a foreboding through him. Possibilities start to run through his mind as to why everything is so quiet tonight. "Zero, I'm home…" Kaname says and only hears the echo of his voice bouncing off of the walls. He starts to rush towards the bedroom, hoping that maybe Zero had decided to go to bed instead of waiting for him. He slams the door open, and there he sees a small tuft of silver hair that could only belong to Zero. He felt relieved when he saw Zero sitting there but also angry at the same time. Zero had ignored him when he called, and continues to ignore him now. He let his anger take hold of him and he walks up to Zero in the chair.
"Zero, why didn't you answer me when I called for you a few minutes ago? Do you realize you had me worried?" The more Kaname spoke, the angrier he got. Zero was really acting childish now and this was also causing Kaname's anger to go up to new heights he's never experienced before. By this point he started to yell at him. "Just because I can't get away from work, doesn't mean you need to act like a child, but right now, that's what you're being… a child! We have had this talk before! I can't just take off from the office to go on a vacation with you. I want to go, I could really use one just like you do, but I can't just take off. There is no one that could take over for me to just up and leave. It would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous for me if I do. I thought you were mature enough to realize that, but I guess I was wrong! You really are a child to behave this way! Do you know what I really need! A break from your childish behavior, so I'm going to stay at a hotel for a while! I will come home when I'm damn good and ready so don't come looking for me!" With that, Kaname left never having even looked at Zero to realize that something was indeed wrong with him.
It wasn't until about a week later that Yuki had heard about what was going on from Kaname. She had tried to stop by the house with her husband Takuma several times, since no one was answering the phone. Zero was no longer working for the Hunters Association since he was found to be mated to Kaname and they believed it to be a conflict of interest to be mated to a vampire and work for the association. He took the news well enough. He still hunts on his own without orders, runs into associates from time to time, or acts as body guard for Kaname on out of town trips, but he has never ignored a phone call. He always answered the house phone or his cell phone if he was out of the house, but for the last week, Yuki couldn't get a hold of him and no one was answering the door. They found it strange however that Zero's car was still parked in the driveway.
Yuki had had enough and went to see Kaname at the office. When she walked in, she noticed his disheveled look. "Onii-Sama, what's going on? You look a mess and no one can seem to get a hold of Zero for the last week. What's wrong?" She asked. Kaname had a resigned look and his face. "Truth be told Yuki, Zero and I have been having arguments for a while. We both need to have a break from everything but I can't get away and Zero is being childish, refusing to see that it's impossible. I have been staying at the motel across the street for the last week, hoping that Zero would come to his senses before I head home. I figured I would go home tomorrow and try, again, to talk some sense into him. Yuki, I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I know he's unhappy because of this, but I'm stuck and there's nothing I can do about it." Kaname answered, sighing towards the end. He seems to be doing that a lot lately he noticed.
"Kana-Nii, stop and think for a moment. Frist of all there is something wrong here. Did you not hear me? No one has seen Zero or heard from him since last week. When have you ever know Zero to ignore anyone? Never, that's when. Something is really wrong with him, and you're over here worrying about your problems. Second, I am your sister and have helped you when you've been gone on your business trips. Am I not good enough to help you get a break with Zero who, like you, really needs the break? When was the last time you talked with him about anything else besides this argument that you two have been having, hmmmm?" Yuki asked, clearly angry at her brother, but had taken to talking to him like he was a child himself, and it actually struck him as funny. He was acting like a child and he would go home to correct his mistake. He needs to find out what is going on with Zero and set things to rights. He was also wrong about something else. He could take a vacation with Zero because he had forgotten one other person he could trust, his sister Yuki.
"Yuki, you truly are amazing. In my problems that I was apparently creating with Zero and our lives, I had forgotten that I do have one other person that I do trust completely, you." Kaname said with a smile, but then the words that Yuki had spoken about Zero had finally sunk in. No one has seen or heard from Zero for a week. Kaname jumped out of his chair causing the chair he was sitting in to topple over and fall on its side. "Forgive me Yuki, but I must go and find Zero. You said no one has seen or heard from him for the last week?" He asked again to make sure he wasn't hearing anything that wasn't correct. She only nodded and he was out the door before she even realized it.
He drove as quickly as he could to get home, hoping that he would find Zero there and as strange as it sounds angry with him and ready to yell at him. He didn't give Zero a chance to say anything last time and he now realized that he should have. He has made a big mistake with this whole thing and he's going to make it up to him. Take him anywhere he wants to go, do anything he wants to do except to allow him to leave him. That thought alone had him in a panic. Zero wouldn't leave him, would he? With that very fear in his heart and mind, he stomps the gas pedal down to the floor and causes the car to move at dangerous speeds, even for a vampire like himself.
He finally arrives at the house to find the house dark once again. He rushes into the building and up to the bedroom, but there's a foul stench of body odor that permeates the room. Kaname, fearing the worst, rushes into the room, only to find that same silver tuft of hair still to be seen above the chair. Carefully Kaname approaches the chair and finds that it looks like Zero hadn't moved for the entire week he's been gone. He reaches out to touch Zero's hand and finds it still warm, but Zero remains unresponsive. He's still alive, but something is definitely wrong with Zero. He calls Aidou over to look over Zero. Aidou, who has been part of his inner circle for years and is now a doctor rushes right over,.
He sees Zero lying on the bed, and apparently freshly washed. From the smell in the room and the open windows, Aidou is very thankful for Kaname's thoughtfulness, or was it because he couldn't stand the smell either. Kaname waited patiently for an answer from Aidou on Zero's condition. He waited through a physical checkup, he waited through lab work being done in another room, and he waited until Aidou came in through the bedroom door. "What I am finding Kaname-Sama doesn't answer the question of what's wrong with him. He's malnourished a little, like he hasn't eaten in a while and also needing blood, but none of this explains what's wrong. Whatever is going on has to do with his psychological condition. Sever stress, or depression, or something along those lines. There is nothing I can do for his mind. I won't ask what is going on since it's not my business, but whatever it is needs to be fixed and soon or he will die Kaname-Sama. I'm sorry, I wish there was more I could do."
Kaname didn't respond nor did he move. Aidou left the house leaving Kaname thinking about the news he had just received. As he sat there, all he heard that kept repeating was that Zero's problem was Psychological and it could kill him. He sat there think back about their only major problem they have had lately, and the only thing he could come up with was that he had done this and he was the worst asshole that could very well be responsible for Zero's death if he can't get through to him. He can't lose Zero, he is his whole life. He was the reason why he was working so hard for, but he admits he lost sight of the reason behind it all. It was all for Zero. Without him, none of it mattered.
He can't lose Zero, not now, not when he is finally starting to see things straight again. He lies down next to Zero, slows his breathing after closing his eyes, and begins to focus. He connects his mind with Zero's and within Zero's mind, he begins to look for image that Zero has of himself in his own minds eye. It doesn't take long to locate him, and it seems that Zero is currently seeing himself as an ugly, dull, disfigured, child. This image he has of himself, explains so much. Kaname could never understand how Zero could be so hard on himself, why Zero would have so many insecurities, but this explains so much. The way he appeared as a child indicates when the damage to his psyche would have begun.
"Wh…who's…there?" the child like Zero asked, clearly scared. Kaname was surprised to say the least, but upon closer inspection, it's clear this child like version was blind. He needs to be careful hear. "Zero, it's me Kaname." he answered. "Kaname, what are you doing here? You shouldn't be here. I don't want you to see me like this. Please just leave me alone, but before you leave, I want you to remember that I have always loved you. Please don't remember me like this." Zero sobbed. Tears were already falling down Kaname's cheeks in like a fast running river. What had he done? Zero was already giving up, he knew what he was doing and what was going on. "Zero, please don't leave me, not like this, not when I realized that I had lost sight of what is the most important to me, WHO is most important to me. Without you, none of it matters. It's all meaningless without you Zero. I was working so hard to try to provide you with everything your heart may desire, that when it really counts, I had lost sight of you. Zero, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to leave you behind. Zero, please don't leave me, I love you and need you with me."
Kaname couldn't say more because he was sobbing so hard. He couldn't stop even if he wanted to. He still couldn't stop when he felt the hand of a small child tentatively searching for his face. Kaname didn't even realize he had closed his eyes, but he opened them all the same, and grabbed hold of the child Zero and continued to sob. Tiny arms circled his neck and a child's voice began to speak words. "Kaname, I love you too. I didn't want you to see me this way. The scared me, the scarred me, the me who always doubts anything and everything, the ugly me who is always to very insecure, especially about us. The damaged me that feels and believes that I don't deserve anything good in my life. I know you love me, but I have never figured out why. You have been so good to me and here I am, being selfish demanding things of you. To be honest, I really do feel that you deserve better than the me that seems to be damaged beyond any repair."
"Zero, silly Zero, I love everything about you. Don't you know that no one is perfect? I'll tell you something else. Everything you said to describe yourself can also be used to describe me. I'm scared, scared, insecure, and damaged too. What I'm most afraid of though is losing you. I love you so much that my heart won't be able to survive losing you. You are my firm foundation, my security, and my healer, though I will always be scarred, you have healed me in other ways. Please allow me to be the same for you, to do the same as what you have done for me. I need you out there in the real waking world. I need you by my side. I need you to keep my honest and on the straight path. To put it simply, I need YOU. Come back to me Zero." another tear escapes Kaname's eye.
Zero nods and the world begin to fade along with the child like version of Zero. Kaname wakes up to find Zero's eyes beginning to flutter open. "Zero, I'm right here and I will be taking care of you until you are feeling better. When you do, we'll do take that trip that I should have taken you on a long time ago. I just have one question for you, where would you like to do or what would you like to do?" Kaname asked. Zero laughed as his tummy growled out a warning of starvation.
THE END
Anyway, I was feeling down today, and some of the feeling that Zero expressed were some of the feeling I was feeling. Often times I feel alone in my feelings and thought of what might happen should Zero be dealing with the same thoughts and feeling. I wondered what would happen.
Sorry about not having sex in this one shot, but I honestly think it would take another chapter to include one, and I'm still stuck with writers block for my other story 'Every Rose Has It's Thorn'. Meanwhile, this one pop up into my head and wouldn't leave me alone, so hear it is.
Please review this story and tell me what you think. Was it crap, just ok, did you like it… the list goes on. Thank you in advance to all who faves and reviews this story if anyone does at all.