Disclaimer:
I don't own Higher Ground. And I don't own the song "Stronger than I am" that's
by Lee Ann Womack.
A/N: Just a short little sad fic. Once again I was just in this mood and listening to the song over and over. It's a really beautiful song if you have a chance to listen to it. Well please tell me what you think!
Stronger than I am
The tears fell steadily down the young woman's cheeks as the priest's words droned on. Her black dress of mourning hung on her thin frame. She was in a daze, all of this felt unreal. And that was good because she didn't want to feel anything because the love of her life was gone. What she really wanted to do was crawl into the grave to be with him. Only one thing stopped her. It was the tiny blonde girl at her side who was clutching her hand. The one who called her mommy.
Things around here haven't changed much
It's
all pretty much the same stuff day after day
The
only thing that keeps me goin'
Seems
to be the baby girl I'm trying to raise
She's
my life my morning angel
Always
seems to find the rainbow after the rain
Lately
she's so busy growin'
I
don't even think she knows you've gone away
She went through the routine of living but the only thing that gave her true joy was watching her daughter. The existing proof of the love she and her husband shared. The little angel's smile was the only thing that could lighten the cloud of grief that surrounded her. But at nights she stilled cried herself to sleep; longing for the one fate took from her.
She finally learned to say goodbye
She's
sleepin' through the night
She
don't wake up cryin'
And
she's walkin' on her own
She
don't need no one holdin' to her hand
And
I hate to admit she's stronger than I am
The cries that use to wake her up now
silent. She's the one who now cries through the night. Reaching out to the
empty spot in her bed. Clinging onto one of his old shirts pretending that it's
him. Just pretending that he's coming back. Pretending that she's not falling.
Pretending that her world isn't crashing and burning to ashes.
She's not crackin' under pressure
First
one step and than another she goes along
And
if she falls and skins her knee
She
cries awhile and smiles at me and just goes on
So
many things that she can teach me
Full
of life and so completely innocent
She
still says she loves her daddy
Goes
on just like nothin' happened
Forgives
and forgets
Sometimes her sorrow is overshadowed by anger. Anger at him for leaving her and their daughter alone. At God for letting this happen to the one person who gave her, her life back. She's angry with herself for having him rush home that night. She's angry with the driver who lost control of their car and crossed the yellow line and in that instant changed her whole life. The only person she's not angry at is the angel that she and her husband had. The little girl that makes life worth living, yes, worth living but still full of pain.
She finally learned to say goodbye
She's
sleepin' through the night
She
don't wake up cryin'
And
she's walkin' on her own
She
don't need no one holdin' to her hand
And
I hate to admit she's stronger than I am
Shelby gazed down at her daughter who
was sleeping soundly in her crib. Her curly blonde hair mussed from sleep and
her thumb in her perfect heart shaped mouth. The best thing that she and Scott
had ever done was lying there. Look at her Scott, she thought, she's beautiful.
She's perfect. She's ours, and nothing can ever change that my love. She
thought sending a message to the heavens. As the tears coursed down her face…
She's just like her old man
Stronger
than I am