Disclaimer – I do not own Hellsing.
A/N - I had this idea on my mind for quite a while now, and I just had to write it down. Hope you enjoy it. For CerasXWalter lovers.
– "Why does it have to be like this?" – Ceras thought, hanging on to her chest, trying to ease the pain in the form of a claw squeezing her heart, making tears shine in her ruby eyes.
Her right hand gave another squeeze, as the pain seemed to pull all the air out of her lungs. She was trying hard not to fall to the ground and cry all her misery out.
Strong.
She had to be strong.
She knew it was because of her weakness that he didn't like her. It was her weakness that had made him go further and further away from her.
But could she blame him?
How could he love her… or better, how could anyone love her if she didn't love herself?
She felt a single blood tear escape from her right eye, her face cold and inexpressive as her gaze set on the horizon. The sun would be up soon, she could feel it coming.
She could feel the tear trickling down her cheek, the wind making the wet path even colder than it was.
Who was she?
Where did she belong?
Suddenly the massive mansion she had grown found of, the place she called home ever since her turning was nothing more than a building, like so many other buildings. It was lifeless, with nothing to offer her but that painful memory that haunted her in every room, every hall.
What if she stayed there?
On the roof?
See the sun one last time before her soul went wherever it was supposed to. Feel her body crumbling into a pile of ashes, feel all the pain go away.
Would someone cry for her?
Maybe Walter.
She let a small sad smile creep on to her lips as she thought of the elderly retainer, one of the only persons that really cared for her.
Integra would be pissed, probably a little sad, but she would never admit it though, Ceras was sure of it.
She gulped when the next question popped in her head, coming with a fresh, vivid and painfully hard to bear image.
Would he miss her?
She was his fledgling after all…
– You are useless to me! Look at you, weak and debilitated, only because of that stupid notion that not drinking the blood is going to turn you back into a human!
Her heart cried out in pain again, reliving the moment, begging her to make it stop.
– How can you cling on to something so stubbornly? Are you disgusted with what you are? Great, because I'm disgusted by your actions, by your senseless stupidity! You could be so much more, yet you still hold on to your humanity.
She could feel even more tears coming down her cheeks, freely running now. She wasn't able to make them stop, as she looked wide–eyed at the horizon, her staring eyes unseeing.
– I should kill you and get it over with. You are nothing but a burden to me Police Girl. A very heavy burden that I'm getting pretty sick of carrying around everywhere.
– But I…
– Don't you dare answer back at me! I'm at the edge of sticking my hand into your heart and putting you out of your misery. How could I ever think you could be worthy of being a vampire? How could I ever think that you could become true nosferatu? What the hell was I thinking?
He turned his back on her, making that the end of the conversation.
Ceras walked up at his Master, her eyes shining with unshed tears, her lips quivering. A shaking hand went to his shoulder but stopped midway.
– Go away before I kill you Ceras Victoria.
She quickly brought her hand to her chest. It was that minute that the claw in her heart snatched it. His voice was low and dark. So cold that she could feel her heart freezing at its sound.
She stood there, staring at the red clad demon that was her Master.
– Go away! – He snarled, not turning back.
She looked at a far point in the room, her eyes blurring. She didn't even know how she got to the roof; her feet had brought her there.
She started swaying herself slightly from side to side, rocking herself in the melody of her own sadness.
– He won't. – She whispered, answering the question she had made to herself a few minutes ago. – He won't. He would say that I was weak and like the weak I took my own life. He doesn't love me. And God Dammit, why do I do?
She fell down on her knees, her arms embracing herself, trying to ease the pain in her chest that was driving her insane. The angst was filling every part of her body, mind and soul. The pain was unbearable, has the yells of her Master, the cruel words ringing in her ears over and over again.
– Stop. Please stop. Make it stop. Somebody make it stop. – She said sobbing. It was taking over her, the grief. She couldn't control it any more. She was going insane. And the worst part was that she knew it. She could feel herself shattering into a million little pieces.
– I have to go. I just, have to go. – She said, closing her eyes to the world. Deep within the recesses of her mind she found a beautiful little garden. It was the garden where she used to play with her father. She loved it! It was peaceful and beautiful and she felt safe there. Safe.
– Miss Victoria…
She heard a whisper and looked back. Nothing. She continued the path that was leading her into the garden, when she heard it again.
– Miss Victoria, are you all right? Answer me!
It was a man's voice. Her eyes fluttered open to meet brown ones.
Walter.
She closed them again.
– Come with me Walter. Come with me. – She whispered, feeling hishands on her shoulders, shaking her slightly.
– Miss Victoria, it's almost sunrise. You have to go now. Come with me.
– I can't. I won't. Don't you want to come with me? – She asked him, her eyes closed.
–"Maybe I should call Alucard…" – The retainer thought, getting up.
His wrist was snatched by Ceras, her ruby eyes now opened and pleading.
He looked down at her, this beautiful fallen dark angel. Yes that was what she looked like. Her cheeks had bloody paths where the tears had fallen, her ruby eyes were shining, her petite hand around his wrist.
– Don't call him. Not him. Everyone but him.
Walter expression softened as realisation came to him. He had done it again it seemed.
– Miss Victoria, he isn't all that bad. He likes you…
– No he doesn't. – She said, pulling his wrist and making him fall on his knees next to her.
She put her hand that was formerly grabbing his wrist on his face, smiling sadly at him.
– I don't care anymore. – She said, grabbing his left hand with her right and putting it on her own face, closing her eyes at the warm touch.
– Come with me Walter. Come with me before the sun rises. Let's see it together. I have a place where I want to go.
He frowned. She was different. She was now the living personification of pain and grief. He decided to play along, if that made her leave that bloody roof. He looked at the horizon. The sun was going to be up soon.
– Miss Victoria, we can't go anywhere now. Tomorrow, I promise, I will go with you wherever you want to go, ok?
– Oh, but it's not far! – She said, smiling slightly and looking into Walter eyes. – It's right here.
He furrowed his eyebrows.
– Where?
– It's a beautiful place Walter, I feel safe there. I don't suffer there. This pain in my heart, – She took his hand off her face and put it on her chest. – doesn't exist when I'm there.
– Where? – Walter asked.
She put her arms around him, making him gasp and stiff.
– Hold me. I will take you. – She said cryptically.
He gulped. This was weird, but incredibly enjoyable as well. He always had a soft spot in his heart when it came to her. And now, having her there, needing him, holding on to him simply made something click in his heart.
He slid his arms around her small frame and a soft moan welcomed his gesture.
She chuckled.
– What? – Walter asked, her chuckle bringing a smile to his face.
– I have to admit it; Master has the best punch lines ever.
– What do you mean?
She looked up at him and smiled, her eyes deep within his. He felt his body respond to that look like it hadn't done in ages.
– This is when you're supposed to close your eyes. – She whispered softly. She then leaned over to a stunned Walter and pressed her lips on his.
He froze for a moment, eyes wide open, his monocle falling to the ground.
Cold soft and wet lips pressed on to his tenderly, her arms tightening the embrace she had him in.
He fell into that feeling, the tenderness of her kiss and closed his eyes, his own arms tightening around her, his lips moving over hers. He could swear he could feel her smiling against the kiss.
This was paradise, divine, wonderful… He did not have the words to describe it, this feeling that made him cold and warm at the same time.
He broke the kiss to get some air and to try and calm himself down. He looked at her, her eyes still closed started opening, revealing piercing blue eyes.
His eyes went wide. She looked stunned as well.
– Miss Victoria, your eyes…
She brought her hand to his face and said, still stunned but smiling.
– Walter? Is it really you?
He furrowed his eyebrows together. She looked deeper in his eyes, her face in an expression of deep concentration. Her expression then changed into a happy one.
– It's you! It really is you!
– Miss Victoria, what are you talking about? – He asked, his hand going to his face. It was greeted with young fresh skin.
– What the…? – He started, looking around. They were in a garden. – Where are we? What happened?
– We are in my garden Walter! This was where I wanted to take you. Isn't it beautiful? God! This is absolutely wonderful! And you… You're young again Walter!
– Your eyes have changed also. So this was their natural colour. Sapphire blue. They are beautiful.
She blushed, and looked down. She then looked at him from behind her bangs.
– You are not so bad yourself. I wished that we had met before.
Now it was his time to blush.
– Miss Victoria…
– Ceras. My name is Ceras.
She grabbed his hand and started running to the middle of the grass. She stopped, her breathing increased by the run. She then looked at him and winked her eye, falling to the ground.
He smiled. He felt strangely happy there. It felt so right.
He lay down beside her. She had her eyes closed again, a smile on her face.
He brought his hand to her face and caressed her.
– You are really beautiful, you know that Ceras?
She looked at him and smiled.
– Kiss me.
He blushed, looking at the ground and taking his hand off her face. She held it before he could take it though. She pushed him until his upper body was on top of hers, his eyes locked with sapphire blue ones.
– Kiss me… – She whispered.
He leaned his head close to hers and pressed his lips on hers. She was warm and delicious; her scent reminded him of roses.
She opened her mouth, her tongue darting out to meet his. The kiss became more and more demanding, making both bodies temperatures rise.
Hands caressing, soft moans escaping throats.
Buttons unbuttoning, fabric sliding from warm flesh.
Bodies touching, caught up in the madness, the desire.
Tongue sliding over hardened nipples.
Vocalizations of pleasure, whispered words.
Rhythmic dance in the most beautiful and fulfilling ritual of them all.
Sweat and saliva.
Kisses and caresses.
Fast.
Gasps, quick intakes of air.
Faster.
Nails running down toned back muscles.
Harder.
Two sweaty bodies lost in pleasure.
Faster and harder.
Backs arching, moans muffled from within a kiss.
Bodies stiffening as waves of ecstasy fill every inch of them.
And then stillness, happiness and satisfaction.
He opened his eyes. They were on the roof. He sighed.
Walter looked at the woman cradled in his arms and smiled. She was fast asleep, but she still had a smile plastered on her face.
He didn't understand what just happened, but one thing he knew; the sun was rising and he had to take her to the basement.
He took her in his arms, bridal style and set off to her room.
He opened the basement door and pushed it with his foot.
Walking trough the halls, he heard a voice coming from behind him.
– What happened Walter?
He recognized the voice as being Alucard's.
– Miss Victoria and I had the most enjoyable evening in a garden she knows. – He answered in a casual tone, proceeding his walk down to Ceras's room, a smile in his face as he heard a low growl coming from Alucard.
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Cleopatra Kat
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