Two Girls Too Much

by Dynnzel

Ever had a day where you were saved by gigantice robot aliens? Me either. Ever had a day where you felt like picking on some gigantic robot aliens for NOT saving you? I think we can help with that. 2007 Movieverse orientated. WARNING: Crack fic

1. Chapter 1

Warning: Crack fic/rp collab!

Lots of sexual innuendo and fangirlness.

Not intended to be accurate in any way.

This fic is intended to help Light of Heaven get into the mind of her OC character Dea in her fic Song of the Fallen and I'm using my OC's Diana and Stalker from my fic The Allspark's Avatars to help. And for me to get in things I wasn't able to fit in my fic earlier about my characters.

And for our own amusement.

Roll played and then edited to a story format.

Hope you enjoy!

Small rundown on OC's

Diana: Age 17, Filipino American, weakness: shiny things, Partner: Stalker

Dea: Age: 16, Spanish American, weakness: (you'll see), Partner: (eventually, Light of Heaven hasn't gotten that far yet)

Stalker: Age: about a thousand years (-shrugs- I dunno really), Autobot, alternate form: stereo box, function: assassin, weakness: N/A, Partner: Diana

Sparkle: Age: (let's not go there), Cybertronian, no faction, Alt: Cybertronian Jet, function: (it's in my fic), weakness: can't pass up a chance to get Ratchet drunk, Partner: (she has thirteen I'm not about to name them all)

Sparky: drone (no spark), function: services Sparkle as a reconnaissance bot, kind of a snake like dragonish body

Zan: drone, function: computer maintenance, looks like a monkey sort of, weakness: fruit

Chapter 1

Diana skipped along the market rows listening to her music via a strange looking device that looked like a cross between an earbud and a wireless cellphone. Her backpack is empty except for a large green and black boom box which can be seen because the zipper is partially undone. She skidded to a stop when a silvery glint caught her eye and she back tracked quickly to see what it was.

Dea blinked at the sudden movement from where she stood leaning against the table, she looked over at the girl inspecting the shiny chains her pants, "Can I help you?" Dea pulled at a strand of her red hair, and shifted her weight on her other foot.

Looking up at the speaker Diana grinned, "Hi! Umm no I'm just running around lookin'."

'More like blowing all your money on useless trinkets-ouch!' Diana had pretended to take off her back pack but had in fact dropped it hard enough to affect the 'Bot snuggled in her bag. He was able to communicate without transforming via her earpiece because it was actually his extension to her.

"Oh..." Dea blinked, the girl glancing down at the backpack as it was dropped to the ground, "What exactly you lookin' for?"

"That's exactly it... I don't know." Diana stepped closer to the peddler's wares and picked up the shiny necklace that she liked. If it wasn't so noisy one could hear the growl from her bag on the ground.

Tittering lightly, Dea turned as well to the knick knacks that lined the table, "The most dangerous kind of shopper there is." She fiddled with something in her pocket, then motioned to the boom box with a pocketed fist, "That play iPods?"

'Oh no you don't! Diana I'm tired of play-!'

"Yeah sure it does. Quite (she smacked the boom box Transformer as he snarls in her ear) nicely. It's kinda abused though, but it plays good." she smiled and handed her partner called Stalker off to Dea.

Dea let out a pent up sigh of relief, "Good. Halfway through my trip, the guy I was bummin' a ride from broke my headphones," She set the boom box on the table, and whipped off her small backpack, taking out a cable that she plugged into her iPod and the stereo. "So what should we listen to? The Used or Rise Against?"

'Neither!'

"How 'bout both?"

Primus what did I do to piss off this human?!?! Stalker thought in despair.

"You were bummin' a ride? Where are ya from?" Diana asked.

Dea giggled, settling on Paramore instead, and began to bob her head as Misery Business began humming from the speakers, "Really really far away, let's say that..."

"Oh." Diana acknowledged, "Looks like we're in the same boat almost." just to be mean she turned up the volume to the point she knew would vibrate her partner and tickle his joints. Oh he was going to be so mad at her.

"Yeah, just about." The music began its work, soothing her aching head and making the headache she had previously held on to for the last two days melt away, "Off to anywhere in particular?"

"Nope, do you wanna hang for the day?" she took notice that the box was starting to vibrate visibly and slammed her hands on either side of it, "No!" she said firmly. Looking up she grinned innocently at Dea, "Sorry! This thing needs to be treated in a particular way to work." she turned the volume down a bit.

'I'm so getting a more mobile alternate form when we get back.' Stalker growled in her ear.

"Sure!" She inclined her head to the IPod in her hand, "I know exactly how you feel... Damn things can be so humanely stubborn at times!"

You have nooo idea female.

Diana took Dea out for lunch and they hung around the mall. Suddenly a bright yellow Camaro with an exceedingly cute blonde driver pulled up next to them while they walked. The window rolled down to make it look real. "Diana they need you back at...home." the young man said.

Salvation!

"So soon Bee?"

Dea blinked, looking over at the car, unconsciously letting out a low whistle, and not for the driver either, "Damn! What's that-- a '07?" The girl couldn't help herself and wandered over, leaning onto the window to get a look inside, "STEREO OF THE HEAVENS!" She cried, her hand flying to her heart, "That's an '07..."

The engine revved, sounding like a cat purring, the young man grinned, "You like what you see huh?" Standing behind the red head, Diana just rolled her eyes and grinned.

Dea grinned back, "Do I ever! If I could get my hands on one of these I--" She stopped herself with her hand on her heart again, "Goodness gracious!" Her green eyes looked down at the blue, "Revv it again!!" He did so and if it hadn't been for the hand that held onto the window, Dea would have fallen to the ground.

Dea: Sixteen years old.

Weakness: B-E-A-utiful cars.

Diana was doing her best to hold back her laughter at her new friend's ridiculous behavior! But then again she swooned over beautiful cars once in awhile... just not to this extreme. Bumblebee was thoroughly enjoying the attention. "I like this friend of yours Diana." Bee grinned before acknowledging the newcomer again, "What might be your designation?"

'Ahhhh!' Stalker yelled in Diana's ear so she pulled off her headset.

She shrugged, turning around so that she could give Diana the biggest 'Oh MY FREAKING GOD' grin she had in her, before saying nonchalantly, "Friends call me Dea. I got a longer name, but we've only just met, and that's confidential information."

"Really? Ok, you can call me as Diana does which is Bee. You girls care to go for a joy ride before I have to take Dia home?" really they needed Stalker's abilities for something but they weren't going to get him without Diana.

Diana squealed in delight, "Yes! Shotgun! Oh no wait we have a guest... Dea gets shotgun!"

Oh Primus get me away from the estrogen!

Bee clapped his hands in delight (really it was the rev of the engine that properly expressed his joy).

Dea squealed, running around like lighting and sliding in next to Bee, feeling the leather seats underneath her shorts eliciting a shiver of delight, "Dear god this is almost THE best car ever."

"Almost? What's the best car?" Bee frowned.

Uh oh... Diana thought

The girl sighed, sagging in the seat as the words spilled forth, "Pontiac Solstice! Silver exterior, black leather inside, deep throaty purring engine, a little bit of wear and tear and some experience under that hood!" Her hand waved much needed air to her blushing face, "THAT would have to be the most beautiful car I've ever seen..."

The engine roared to life as they sped away from the curb at break neck speed, "Well let's see if I can change your mind!" Bee's hologram grinned in wicked humor. Stalker sagged deeper into the backpack he was in. Two girls screeching... that's all he needed right now.

Screams of joy erupted from Dea's throat as she was flung into the door, Bee flying around the corner onto a street that lead to a dirt path for mountain bikes, "YES!!" She whooped, and her window rolled down allowing her to stick her head out the window and holler as the scenery sped past them.

In her excitement she never noticed the seatbelt wrapping around her since she hadn't bothered to buckle in herself. Bumblebee wanted to impress but not without precaution. The Camaro flew over a hill catching serious air and landed into a 360 without missing a beat. The hologram was doing a good job of pretending to manipulate the wheel and gears. Diana screamed in delight with Dea as they took another jump.

Stalker just shut off his sonic processors.

Hmph. Younglings' he thought.

Dea glanced at Bee, her eyes dancing with delight, "Dude! Do some cookies!!" He nodded, and she was rewarded with a wonderful tingling sensation in her stomach, "WOO!!!! Yeah!!!"

Suddenly in the blur of controlled chaos a Pontiac Solstice flew past the Camaro, its windows tinted so you couldn't see if there was a driver. The engines roared at each other as they spun around each other, front bumper to bumper as they slid circles on the dry earth. " Your wish just came true!" Diana laughed. The two cars pulled out of their slide and drove neck and neck across the terrain.

Bumblebee laughed, "I called my friend to have some fun with us, he's been rearin' for some action."

Dea blinked, the feeling in her stomach growing as the sun glinted of the silver paint, "No freaking way..." She squealed, turning around in her seat to gape at Diana, "NO FREAKING WAY! You two... are amazing!" She sat facing forward in the seat, her eyes never leaving the car for fear of it being all just a wonderfully cruel dream, "Amazing...absolutely..."

Diana smiled, sitting forward, "You looked kind of down, I couldn't just leave a friend frownin'. It's not in my nature." she looked at Bee, "Hit it!" she cried with glee. The Camaro and Pontiac parted ways only to rejoin in deadly stunts that made Dea flinch at the closeness but when she thought they would crash the cars would split apart again in perfect harmony. Bumblebee enjoyed this dance so much he almost forgot to make sure his hologram made the right movements.

Dea bounced in her seat, hands banging lightly on the dashboard as the Pontiac slowed so that it was next to the Camaro. It revved it's engine, making Dea revert to no more than a fangirl as she flushed and squealed again for the god knows how many times.

All too soon the Camaro slowed to a halt along with the Pontiac. Bee looked utterly disappointed as he looked back at Dia, "Umm, I think we need to get back." more than likely the scout had gotten a call from either Ironhide or Optimus just now. Diana pouted loudly. Even the Pontiac's purr was filled with disappointment. Diana kicked her bag and was satisfied in hearing a scream of rage from the earpiece hanging off her neck.

Dea sighed, "Well damn!" She paused, the glanced between the tinted windows of the Pontiac to Bee, "Can we at least go back the way we came?" Her grin was unmistakable to Diana and Bee, even though they had just met her.

Bee switched the gears again, "Wouldn't dream of taking another route." the Pontiac revved up again as the two spun dust devils and raced back, all the while doing every stunt they could to entertain their guest.

The music was turned on, and they flew down the road, kicking up dirt as the screams of the two girls scared off any animal within the vicinity. Sure, Dea was a little bummed to be losing an awesome new friend with an awesome new friend with a cute car with a friend with an even better car, but who was she to complain, right?

Without warning an explosion nearly rocked the Camaro on its side. "What the hell?!" Diana turned in her seat to see the helicopter Decepticon pursuing them, "Oh no he didn'!"

"Oh yes he did! Hang on!" the Camaro whipped around and headed further out into the boondocks, the Pontiac in hot pursuit. Since he was behind the seat, Stalker poked his head out of the bag. Diana put her earpiece in to hear his message of 'I thought he was dead!'

She shrugged and whispered, "You guys have weird ways of coming back to life."

Dea curled into herself in the seat, muttering something incomprehensible to the people in the back, but Bee cast a worried glance in her direction, his engine whirring in a worried tone as well, which didn't go unnoticed by the other car.

Suddenly the Pontiac reduced his speed, allowing the Camaro to get into the trees. The Camaro spun around and Bee jerked his chin at Diana, "Stay here." he ordered. Diana grabbed her bag and shoved Dea out of her seat unceremoniously onto the forest floor. The Camaro's windows tinted and it was off back where the sounds of more missiles were going off. The helicopter was circling something it seemed.

Dea, free of the seat and the seat belt, began to rock back and forth where she had dropped, her eyes squeezed shut and arms drawing her legs as close as they would go, "I got away from there!" Her voice cracked and she convulsed, "I left that place so why are they here?"

"Who what when where what the hell?! Disengage your work engines girl it'll be fine!" Diana knelt next to her new friend holding her shoulders, "Bee and Jazz'll take care of that Deceptofreak." she flinched when she was shocked by her 'Bots extension. She muttered something along the lines of 'my bad'.

Dea lifted her head slightly, her eyes wide with fear, "That thing! It was there! So I came here... It shouldn't be here..." She shook her head violently, "It shouldn't even be there!" Dea drew down her brow in thought, racing off to a world Diana didn't know, "So why in the world?"

A huge explosion caused the girls to nearly jump out of their tennis shoes. Flames could be seen at the edge of their hiding place. Mechanical screeches and grunts could be heard and shots fired. Diana pulled Dea to her feet and grabbed her bag, "Let's go." taking her by the wrist the black haired girl lead her deeper into the woods, "It'll be ok." she reassured, "But first... where did you meet that creep?" she asked tentatively.

She followed blindly, still in that far off world in her head, "The city. Found me in the city..." She tripped over her feet, but stayed up due to Diana's hand, "Wanted something..." Her face scrunched up in thought, "I found something and it wanted it... But I lost the something..."

"Oook." Diana was leading so she didn't notice that her cybertronian wrist accessory was exposed from her sleeve being pulled up. It glinted small symbols of alien origin in its green sphere, "I think we're ok... the canopy is thick here." she slowed to a stop.

She blinked, the shining metal catching her eye, the strange symbols keeping it there, "That!" Diana looked at her and she pointed at the wrist, "It had those things on it!!"

Diana looked down then quickly pulled her sleeve over it, "Had what on what?"

'Idiot' Stalker said.

The explosions could still be heard close by but the attacker wasn't making any progress

Her hands started making seemingly random gestures, "This... THING! That I found..." Dea slowly emerged from the shell shock of seeing the war helicopter again, and began to really think about the thing she had found that day, "It was small... no bigger then my hand, and it had the same symbols that are on your bracelet!" She frowned, "Except not. They were a little different... More curvy. I guess that monster hellion wanted it from me for some reason, so I chucked it. Left the city a few weeks later because it kept following me."

"..." Diana knelt to her level again, "What did this thingamajig look like exactly?"

"Um... Gee, now that's the hard part." She made measurements with her hands, showing the dimensions, "It was either gray, or brown... Jagged edges like it broke off of something bigger..."

Without warning Stalker popped out of Diana's bag unable to contain himself anymore, "Where did you drop this piece?!" he demanded.

"Ah shit!" Diana grabbed Stalker by the slim neck and vainly tried to hide her partner while at the same time yelling, "You idiot she's traumatized enough already!!!"

Dea merely stared with saucer plate eyes at the little machine for a good few seconds before her brain registered she was being addressed, "AH! Um..." Her brow furrowed, "I was in Mission City... And...near... the donut shop! The one on the corner near that old looking skyscraper that got destroyed from the inside out..."

It was their turn to stare. It was a funny sight considering Diana still had both hands around the 'Bot's said neck. "Holy crap she was present during the attack!" Diana looked at Stalker, "We've got to get back to the city!"

"I've already alerted the others, but we're stuck until those two finish with Blackout." Stalker pried her fingers off of him.

Dea looked between the two, "Blackout?! They have names?" She cocked a brow, then shrugged, "Know what? Never mind. Go with the flow. No worries. Be happy. Go to the happy place with the beautiful cars..." She closed her eyes and hummed a bit, swaying to the humming before her eyes shot open and she grinned, "We're good!"

"Cool! This is Stalker by the way, my partner and oh so willing music player and assassin at your service."

"Hmph."

Several trees cracked and crashed to the forest floor, the blades of a helicopter's bulk could be heard. Diana said while staring at the oncoming threat, "That ugly Decepticon is called Blackout..."

"Stay away from them scum!" Bumblebee rushed from behind in bipedal mode along with Jazz who fired upon the giant Decepticon, "And those two hotties are Bumblebee and Jazz. The Pontiac's Jazz FYI. You can drool over him later though." she grabbed Dea's wrist again, "Right now we gotta run!" Stalker stayed behind to aid his comrades.

Dea ran along side Diana, grinning maniacally, "Can I drool while we run? I'm a killer multi-tasker!"

"Haha! I like you Dea, we're going to get along just fine!" A huge roar behind them and heavy footsteps caused them to see that the Decepticon wasn't slowing despite its attackers. "What the hell did you do to piss this guy off?!" Diana yelled.

"I have no clue!!" Dea yelled as she sped up, going far past her limit. She could no longer feel her feet hit the ground, her legs numb from the extra work, "Think it'll take an apology?"

"An apology to him is you being smeared against a wall!" Diana huffed. Suddenly they came upon a side road and a hummer screeched to a stop. It flashed its lights and opened both its doors. "Go go! Get in!" before Dea could think Diana had shoved her into the search and rescue vehicle and off they sped.

"Are you alright?" asked a rich disembodied voice.

"Oh we're fine and dandy Ratchet. We went on a date and then were chased by a blood thirsty deceptogeek and were lovin' it! No we're not ok!! I lost my bag and that had my wallet in it!" she very fakely sobbed.

Dea blinked, "So..." She tested the waters gently, "Ratchet?" He made an acknowledging sound, so she continued, ". . . Anybody have any complaints to Alternative?" She waved the iPod gingerly, a smile on her face.

At first Ratchet said nothing. Diana knew this silence. The alien was perplexed at the odd behavior a fellow human was exhibiting after being chased and almost killed. "Um, I have no problem with it." said the hummer. A section of his dashboard opened revealing a jak slot. Diana snorted and giggled.

"YAY!" Dea squealed, plugging in the iPod and turning the music on to Into the Ocean, "Not as loud as I usually go, but meh. Still a very nice song!" She poked the dashboard, "What say you talking automobile robot thingermajiggy?"

"I'm an Autobot, miss. And my designation is Ratchet." the hummer said politely. He could feel Diana trembling with laughter in his seat.

"Yes, you said the second part," Dea confirmed, "But you know, talking automobile robot thingermajiggy has a much nicer ring to it!" She let herself grin before responding, "And miss is for teachers and door to door salesmen. Name's Dea. Thanks for keeping me in the present tense."

"Alright, how about I'll stop calling you miss if you stop calling me 'automobile robot thingermajiggy'?"! She didn't know how much more she could handle, so Diana just busted out laughing. Suddenly her extension crackled to life, "Blackout has retreated for now. We'll meet you in Mission."

"Ok, see you there." she replied.

"That's TALKING automobile robot thingermajiggy and sure thing Ratchet." Dea settled back into her seat, shifting uncomfortably away from the window as they drew closer to where she just had been escaping from.

"If you are uncomfortable with this, I can take you girls back to base. The others will take care of the search." Ratchet offered, taking note of Dea's body chemical change. Diana looked at her friend.

"You ok?" she asked.

"Um... Yeah! After shock of having a huge robot try and kill me... again... an imaginary happy pill only lasts so long." She shook her head in the general direction of the voice, "I'm fine though! No worries."

They rode the rest of the way in silence and met up with the rest of the Autobots just outside of Mission City. The 'Bots started conversing in their own language. The door opened and Stalker hopped onto Diana's lap and faced her, "Ya know how much it hurts to be thrown at a tree?"

"I'd rather not know."

"Good. You owe me a high grade." the attachment huffed as he settled himself between them.

"Jeez... demand demand that's all you ever do."

"Abuse is all you do." Stalker retorted.

Dea giggled, maneuvering her pack to her lap and taking out a stick of fruity smelling gum, taking it out of the wrapper and popping it into her mouth to give her something to do, "So what now? Wait until the higher ups," she pointed at the tall robots for affect on her joke, "give us our destiny?"

"Yeah, actually." Diana replied.

Suddenly with a rev announcing its presence, Jazz pulled up next to Dea's side of where she sat in Ratchet.

Dea's face flushed, and she faced away from the window, giving Diana the 'OH MY FREAKING GOD' face again and trying oh-so-inconspicuously to point at Jazz over her shoulder. Ratchet, however, wouldn't make that easy, "Hmm... Jazz. It seems you make the new female's face flush." That statement, joined with a purr of Jazz's engine caused Dea to blushed a brilliant shade of red, lowering herself further into the seat. "He always do that?"

Diana's eyes widened, "Oh trust me he can get worse! One time he told one of my friend's that his girlfriend was 'in heat' while she was around even! And that if he wanted to conceive he'd better 'breed' now!" a touch of pink hit her cheeks as well, indicating some personal experience as well. "Mikaela's reaction wasn't as bad as Stalker's."

"Huh?" they both said in unison "Remember Diana when I asked you to help me test one of my medical machines and the side effect gave you an orgasm?" Diana's face went beat red, "You said we wouldn't discuss that in public!!!"

Stalker's eyes darkened, "You... did what to her... Ratchet?" The medical vehicle seemed to be bouncing on its shocks with silent laughter.

"You do this to us on purpose!" Diana kicked the dashboard as hard as she could! Stalker folded his arms, already plotting revenge. Stalker didn't appreciate being in the middle of these sort of conversations (albeit literally as well)

Dea looked between her new friend, the dashboard and the miniature Autobot, before her silent mirth became full out laughter, causing the Pontiac to shift his attention back to the emergency vehicle. "She's okay in there, right? I actually like this female." Jazz's engiene rumbled as Dea's laughter became strained as she lost the ability to breath; her stomach clutched in hysterical pain.

"Oh she's fine lieutenant, except I hadn't intended to make her laugh so hard. Laughter is good for relieving stress to humans. I think my jokes were a little beyond her maturity." the hummer snickered.

"DUDE!" Dea shrieked, "You, my dear Ratchet, have NOTHING on me." She shook her head, glad to have oxygen back in her lungs, though her sides and stomach still hurt, "Nada. Zip. Zero. Zilch. I am the QUEEN of perversion." She paused to think, "Though you may be a tad right about the maturity thing, I sort of tend to fail that test."

Dea rolled her shoulders, stiff from sitting in the seat, "So where to magoo?" She cast a slight glance at the silver Solstice, before quickly looking over at Stalker, then at the Dashboard.

Ratchet exchanged a few words in his own language before popping his door open on Dea's side, "Lieutenant Jazz would like to speak with you." The Pontiac's passenger door opened in response. Diana grinned, "Go on, your armored prince awaits."

She fought down a small blush, smacking Diana on her way out, "Hush up you!" Grabbing her bag, she hit the ground, then slid into the open and waiting passenger door of the Pontiac, "I'm a bit grimy." She grinned sheepishly. "S'okay. I've had less appealing things ride in me," Dea snorted under her breath at the innuendo, "But you're one of the prettier ones. Grime and all."

"Awesome." She slid into the seat, and the door shut.

"So I hear that I'm the best sorta car in the world... am I right?" Jazz asked her as soon as his door was closed.

Dea sucked in a quick breath, letting it out with a small squeak and a, "Yeah!"

"Now I'm not complainin' at the attention or nothin'... but why?" he asked.

Dea sighed, "I was in my hometown, Mission City, with my mom... We were shopping, then randomly there was all this gunfire, and people running and screaming..." She paused and pulled her feet under her, "My mom didn't make it, but I did because of... well what I think was actually you."

There was a clicking sound revealing that he was intrigued, "Me?"

She shifted slightly, facing more towards where the smooth rumbling voice was coming from, "Yeah! I was about to be hit by the tank guy, but this beautiful Solstice zoomed past me. I closed my eyes and basically shut down, thinking I was going to die. But I didn't." She blinked at the memory, "When I opened my eyes, a robot was there, picking up some of the smaller cars and chucking them at him."

"Oh... then yeah that was me. I was annoyed at Devastator. He and I went way back." the car shuddered then started to move along with the others as they spread out to their assigned search grids. It had been a long time since Mission. They highly doubted the fragment was there but they could hope. "I'm supposed to be dead though." Jazz said after awhile.

Dea blinked, questions going rapid fire in her head, "Really now?" She rubbed at her arm, "But you're still alive, so that's good." The girl smiled and put on her seatbelt, "That means I get to repay my debt."

"You don't owe me nothin' girl. It's the way war goes and I require no reward other than this planet's safety, ensured peace... and a bit of good music to get down to." the Solstice snickered.

She smiled and laughed along, but still shook her head, "That may be, but if there's one thing my dad taught me, it's that if someone saves your life - meaning to or not - you owe them Mt. Everest in gold." Dea rolled her eyes, "Not exactly meaning money though, but that's what he says."

The Autobot was glad she mentioned not being literal in the quote because he was about to say that he didn't need any of what human's considered precious metals. Bumblebee pulled up beside them, spoke with Jazz a moment in their own tongue before speeding off a side street. "Keep an eye out, Diana's on foot with Stalker. If you can remember Dea... where exactly did you drop the fragment?"

Her side pinched, and she moved to free her from the pain, "Where'd I drop it..." Her brow furrowed, "I had been about halfway. Er, halfway between the donut shop and my apartment..."

The slowly drove up the street in question. Several of the damaged buildings had either been repaired or torn down completely and been built over with new establishments. "Oh man... they stripped this place clean I don't think we're gonna find it after a few years." Jazz moaned more to himself than to her. Suddenly there was a flicker of light in the driver's seat and a humanoid and rather handsome hologram appeared just in time for a group of teens to round the corner.

Dea squeaked, quickly covering her mouth and scolding herself, Of all the things that don't send you into freaked out La La land, you get scared by the hologram...

"Sorry." Jazz apologized as he manipulated his facade to 'drive', "I was more focused on finding the fragment."

"S'okay..." She looked around and could still see the rubble filled street with dread settling into her stomach. Even though she was sitting in the passenger seat of her dream car and savior, who sounded sexy and had a sexy hologram to boot, she couldn't put that animal in danger instinct to rest whenever she was here.

"Ya alright?" Jazz asked. He pulled next to a curb where a sewer drain was. She heard a few clicks and whirs as something shifted in the giant robot but she couldn't see it.

"Yeah, sure." She remembered the thing with Ratchet just a bit earlier, and realized that lying wasn't something she was going to get away with when she was with these guys, "Just a bit mentally preoccupied is all." She'd be damned if she didn't try anyway.

"If you ever feel the need to leave immediately let me know. A memory is a memory until it haunts us." the hologram flickered out of existence as the Pontiac focused more on whatever it was he was doing.

"Got it." She took out her iPod, which had been sitting in her back pocket, and sifted through the songs, trying to find a song that would help her calm down. Clicking on the name, Dea's head began to play the music as the silent player ticked the seconds off.

The minutes crept by very slowly in silence. Then suddenly Diana made an appearance. She glanced around to make sure no one was looking before unzipping her new backpack and dropping Stalker onto the street in midtransformation. She waved briefly at Dea to acknowledge her before kneeling out of sight to help with whatever was going on beneath Jazz.

The red head blinked, cocking her head to the side, "What is she doing underneath you?" She laughed a little at her own small innuendo, before shaking her head and rolling down the window, her head popping out to survey the area.

"I can't reach the bottom of this sewer. So Stalker is having to go down for me. I think the piece is in there I sensed something... I'm not sure though." Jazz replied. Dea poked her head out in time to see a few rods disappear underneath the Pontiac. Obviously extensions from... where ever. Diana was peeking into the sidewalk drain trying to see her friend. "See anything?" she called.

"Other than garbage, rodents and human feces? Not yet." the attachment grumbled.

Dea shuddered with laughter, "Feces..." Jazz made a disapproving noise, "What?! I have a low maturity level at times, all humans do! Say duty in a crowded room and watch for gigglers!" She huffed and sat back into the seat.

Not having heard the other girl's exchange Diana pointed into the darkness where occasionally four pairs of glowing optics could be seen, "You are taking a bath before bed or you ain't sleepin' with me!"

Jazz thought, 'Oh great... here comes the giggles'

Crawling into the driver's seat, she rolled down the other window, "Duty!" She said loudly, sitting back in the seat with her hand covering her own smile at the word, "Duuty..."

Diana looked up with a completely befuddled look on her face. "I think I'll take that bath now if you please!" came Stalker's voice from the dark. "I ain't bathin' you either! Blood I'll do... human waste no." Diana yelled back. "Why is Dea yelling 'duty'?" there was a crash and a few rat squeaks of terror and Cybertronian curses that followed.

Jazz sighed, not wanting to understand.

Maneuvering herself into a comfortable position so she could take her jacket off, "I need clean clothes..." She folded the hoodie, placing it in her backpack and pulling the bag onto her shoulders. She opened the door, careful not to bump Diana, "I shall return!!" She mock cried dramatically, with heroic pose and everything, before disappearing into the Starbucks across the street.

"Dea! You might not want to wander! The Decepticons have a little guy like Stalker with them! He's blue and silver just so you know." Diana informed the red head. "You owe me another high grade." Stalker grumbled.

"Blame Jazz!"

"I'm not apart of your arguments." the Pontiac said flatly.

Dea locked the bathroom stall, leaning against the door, and sighed. Dear god what was she doing?! Talking and flirting even with freaking talking robot cars...Her mind was leaving her, that's what it was. And that whole thing with Mission City a few years ago had been her hallucinating from the drugs, yes! Perfect! So how did she explain it this time? She wasn't living with her father anymore, so the drugs couldn't be it... Dea growled and ruffled her hair in frustration, "Don't worry about it! Go with the flow." She nodded with no conviction, setting her bag down on the floor and sifted through for clean clothes. She paused halfway through her search, groaning in displeasure, "You've got to be kidding me..."

Dea brushed her hair back, then up, pulling it into a tight ponytail, then glanced down in disgust at her wardrobe. Of all the things left for her to wear, it had to be these... She shrugged, slinging the bag back over her shoulder and started out of the shop, tugging at the articles of clothing all the while. Now, Jazz hadn't know Dea for a while, but something told him that her wearing a too short tank top and short shorts wasn't a daily occurrence - whether the give away was her grumbling about horrible luck, or the fact that she kept tugging them down, he didn't know.

"GOT IT!!!" there were several splashes, crashes and clicks as the black Autobot climbed back up the chute and leapt into the sunlight filthy but happy. He spit the fragment of the Allspark into his hands.

"Dude! Score!" Diana smiled. Jazz whistled in happiness, informing the rest of the group. "Hey Dea," Jazz asked, using his hologram to express concern, "You seem to have a lack of a proper wardrobe." he commented.

Her face flushed, and she glared at the hologram, "Thank you freaking Captain Obvious! Let's give him a round of applause everybody..." She hadn't meant it to sound so mean, but what could she say? She was okay with the tank top, but short shorts made her cranky.

"Wanna go shopping? Optimus is nice enough to give me an allowance per month. I don't ask where he gets the money though." Diana offered. Stalker ducked underneath the car to hide as a group of people started heading in their direction.

"Like you," a tug, "have no," another tug, "idea..."

"Good, you two girls do that while I find somewhere to get clean and get this piece back to Optimus." Stalker dashed away on all fours and disappeared. "Ya you do that!" Diana called after him. Jazz opened up his doors to allow them entry.

Dea slid into the passenger side, jumping as the leather made contact with her legs, "The nearest non-preppy store and step on it!" She whined.

"Define... 'preppy'." Jazz said as he pulled away from the curb.

Dea sighed, "Nothing pink... That's about all I can think of." She went to pull the seatbelt on, and found it already wrapped around her, "Thanks." The girl drummed her fingers on her skin, "How about you just go to the mall."

After Dea's supply of clothes had been restocked, with nothing pink, no pre-ripped jeans, or Old Navy flip flops in the bunch, they had returned to Jazz, who had been informed that they were to return to the base ASAP. Dea sat quietly for most of the ride, partly because she didn't know what to say, and partly because her music was on full blast via Jazz. The scenery zipped past like on those Zoom Zoom car commercials, and the red head kept fidgeting with her shorts until they were out of the city limits.

"You shoulda changed while we were at the store if you're uncomfortable." Diana practically had to yell over the music.

She blinked and turned to look at Diana, "No, I'm fine, I just don't like being in town. That's all." Jazz lowered the music as she talked, "Bad memories, drama, trauma, blah blah..." She laughed and faced forward in the seat. "So we're going to meet the big guy, right?" Dea pulled at one of the strings on the shorts again, "At the super secret base!"

"I wouldn't call it super but it accommodates our needs." Jazz said as he pulled onto a side street, "What would make it super is if we could wander outside in our bipedal forms without the threat of humans seeing us.

"Tell me about it... you know how annoying it is to have Stalker sneak up on you with his damn cloak!" Diana huffed.

The red head simply blinked, smiling lightly at the idea of the smallish bot wearing a Dracula coat and a poorly acting Diana as the hypnotized village beauty, "Heh... That'd be awkward..."

"What would be awkward?" Diana looked at her new friend.

Dea coughed, grinning at the other girl, "Oh you know... Vampires... Village beauties... Trying to restore a dying breed..."

Diana's brow shot up and color tinted her cheeks as an embarrassed smile tried to escape her pursed lips, "I...(slight giggle) fail to see what vampires, village beauties and restoring a dying race has to do with Stalker sneaking up on me while invisible..." she was trying not to laugh.

"Ohh??? You don't?" Dea couldn't smother her grin, "Want me to fill in some blanks?" She cleared her throat, "Vampires wear capes... and can be invisible."

Diana pressed her hands against her mouth as her face burned, "Stalker doesn't have any urge to... eh... I don't even want to or know how to word it."

"And you ain't no village beauty-ouch!" Jazz complained as he received a solid kick to his dashboard. He laughed and apologized for his joke.

Dea giggled, her sides hurting from suppressing the laughter for so long, "OH! But the thought!!"

"Shut yer face Dea!" the dark haired girl smacked the other's shoulder. She couldn't believe she was getting riled up by Dea's comments. They passed through two huge double doors. They entered the main chamber of the dam to find that Stalker had hitched a ride with Optimus Prime who stood before them holding the small piece in his hand. The small bot trotted up to Diana as she stepped out of Jazz all squeaky clean now.

Dea stepped out of the Solstice, rubbing her shoulder in mock pain, "Owwie!" She pouted, but the smile tugging at the corners of her lips ruined the effect. Her hands dropped to her sides and she glanced around the room, before looking up at the huge bot standing before her, "Blue truck with red flames?"

"My name is Optimus Prime, and it has come to my attention that the Decepticon Blackout is pursuing you. You may remain under our protection just as Diana is. Also, I thank you for helping us find this fragment."

Dea waved off the thanks, "Ehh... I didn't do nothing." She appraised the bot, blinking a few times, "Now what do we do?"

"I have business to attend to, you may stay here in our base for as long as you wish." and with that the big bot walked briskly away. Diana looked confused, "He's never in a hurry... huh... oh well."

Jazz transformed, "Are you going to stay Dea?"

She pushed down a squeal at the utter cuteness of his bot form, and instead nodded, "Ain't got no other place to go to, so I better warm and dry with humongo robots then cold and dirty with a perverted hobo."

Jazz looked at Stalker and said in their language "Why does her sexual drive always go up when she talks to me?"

Stalker shrugged "Probably for the same reason Diana's does when she goes all... as the term goes... 'fangirly' on me.' 'huh... interesting."

Diana looked annoyed, "!Oye!No hablo Cybertronian tu knuckleheads! Stop talkin' about us in front of us!"

"OLE!" Dea sang, and began salsa dancing around the room, grabbing Diana and forcing her to dance as she rambled on in Spanish. "!El bano es el fuego!!Tengo un gato en mis pantelones!!"

The Autobots nearly fall on their afts at this seemingly random outburst. Stalker shook his head and ran away, "Nooooo! I can't stand two females!!!" he disappeared. Jazz just stared. Diana laughed and picked up the salsa routine.

She giggled and spun herself, pulling to a stop right before her face was impaled into Jazz's leg, "!Oi!Tengo hambre?Donde esta la comida chico?" She began poking the metal leg with her finger before remembering that she had short shorts on. She looked at Diana, "Chica... I have an order of wedgies..." She snorted at the inside joke with her mother.

"Huh?" she laughed.

Dea giggled, deciding to explain, "One time, my mom was ordering at KFC and ordered an order of wedgies instead of wedges. The drive-through guy couldn't stop laughing after that!" She grinned and spun herself again, "It was the most absolute funniest thing my mom has ever done." She paused, "Did..."

Kneeling next to them, Jazz cocked his head, "A wedgie huh?"

Dea snorted, doubling over herself in glee, "Yup! It's the curse of the short shorts." Seating herself on the ground, her legs stretched out, she said simply, "Dad says no one could pull them off but Daisy Duke, but Mom wore them anyway."

Jazz looked between the two females, "Diana, why don't you show Dea to a room so she can change, rest, or whatever it is she wishes to do?" Dea looked at the silver bot and smiled her thanks - the shorts WERE pure evil - and stood up. "Think later you can get someone to laser them or something?" Dea laughed.

"I think we'd hurt Ironhide's pride if we asked him to shoot a pair of almost nonexistent shorts." Diana ushered Dea to the area that was filled with empty rooms. The first one was hers and filled with odds and ends, not much though. Diana was a careful buyer despite her obvious obsessions with shiny things. She opened the door to the room opposite and was immediately tackled by a squeaking Zan who clung to her face, wrapping his tail around her neck.

"Ahhh!! Zan get off me you oaf!" Diana pried the drone off.

'awww' the drone thrummed.

Dea grinned and stepped around the dark haired girl batting at the drone, "Thanks." She sat down on the bed, eagerly prying off the shorts, not even caring if the door was closed or not. She donned a pair of baggy blue jeans, and a black zip up to cover her tank top, "I feel much better..."

"Good, the Autobots get really upset when we're upset." Diana allowed Zan a place on her shoulder before joining Dea where she sat, "Any time I'm not as perky as usual (le example when I just want to chill) they get really worried. Sometimes it gets on my nerves. But it's cool, they're still learning about the quirkiness of human beings." Zan began trying to braid a lock of her hair like Stalker usually did. But his little brain was specialized in machine maintenance and repair. Not learning.

Dea sighed, "Well now they'll be getting a double dose of learning I guess." She paused to watch the little drone with fascination, "How'd you meet the Autobots?"

Diana pulled his tiny hands away before he gave her a dreadlock and placed him on her lap where he pushed his face against her stomach, fascinated by sounds of her intestines, "Stalker crash landed with his partner when they made planet fall, his partner died and I happened to be in the neighborhood and he decided to... haha! stalk me home. Stalked me for quite awhile before I agreed to help him."

"Actually he was sad foremost, he'd just lost his dearest friend. He didn't want to be alone and I happened to be the first he saw." Diana smiled at an inner memory.

"Hm... I was shopping, giant robots attacked, Mom died, Dad went wife beater on me, ran away from home, ran into you, met Bee, met Jazz," She paused to let her stomach settle at the name, "got attacked again, found that thing that Blackout wanted, came here." She blinked a few times, "And that's all she wrote."

"I got government agents stalking me now... always have since I was little. It creeps me out." Diana smirked, "I've had to fight them off so many times it's not funny."

"Nice. Get a couple of shot guns and POW POW! Problem solved." Dea rolled her shoulders and fell back onto the bed, "So what's the deal with Jazz? He's supposed to be dead?"

"You can thank my friend Sparkle for that... and I guess me because she said she wouldn't have brought him back from the Matrix if I hadn't mentioned I wanted to meet him. She's a wonder." Diana smiled, "I call her Glittercheeks by the way... because she just can't stop... shining!"

Dea bowed from her spot on the bed, "Then I owe Miss Glittercheeks big time." She pulled her legs onto the bed, rolling over onto her side, "Are we just supposed to stay here or something? What's the whole point of.." She gestured around the room, meaning the whole base, "this!"

"I think this because they couldn't rent an island in the Bahamas." Diana exaggerated her shrug, "I don't know, they said it's not permanent, but for now it's home for now. Where they can be themselves."

"Huh..." She gripped her stomach as it grumbled loudly in protest of being ignored, "Gah!" Dea sat up, rubbing her abdomen with displeasure, "I think I want a tour... of the kitchen!"

When they arrived at the cafeteria, Zan leaped off of Diana's shoulder and hurried over to the fridge. He waited for it to be opened before climbing into the fruit drawer. There were sounds of rummaging and clicks then SQUEAK!!! and Zan leaped out, clinging to Diana's arm shaking with fright. "What is it?" the drone pointed at a misplaced onion in the drawer, beeping.

Diana sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Does he not like veggies??" Dea asked, perplexed as she reached in and found an apple, which she bit happily into.

"I don't know, he plays poker with the oranges, he's always swappin' insults with the lemon (who's also always trying to escape) and he thinks the grapes haunt the halls at night." Diana explained as she grabbed the onion. Zan crawled lower to her hip, keeping his distance appropriately where she moved it.

"The lemon must have secretly hired the onion to make sure he swims with the fishes..." Dea giggled and grabbed the grapes as well, popping a few into her mouth with a free finger.

"Probably." Diana laughed. Zan relaxed when the onion was put away then proceeded to grab an orange and skip off to find a deck of cards, "I hope he throws the fruit away. All the fruit he takes ends up missing. He won't tell anyone where he put 'em."

"Oh lovely... I'm going to have a banana in my dresser by the end of the week, I'm sure of it." The two sat down, food in tow, and began eating, Dea eating more grapes then apple, "What should we do after this?"

"Well... Bumblebee and Jazz got pretty dirty while doing that gig out there for us..." Diana said slowly.

"Ooo, are they showering or something??!" Dea asked a bit too quickly.

"No, they usually have to prepare a report before any other activity is done... I think Bee is clean but Jazz on the other hand..." she winked, "I know where the suds and buckets are."

Dea was already half way up, "What are we waiting for? Let's go clean house!!" She skipped out of the cafeteria, "OH JAAZZYY?!?!"

In front of a console in the main chamber, the mech flinched at the tone, fingers frozen just above the keyboard. Beside him Bumblebee's faceplates tightened in a grin.

"I dun' like the sound of that..." Jazz stealthily ran in the opposite direction of the high pitched voice. However the girls were prepared, Stalker stayed in pursuit, cloaked of course, and relayed the Pontiac's position via his extension to Diana.

Dea paused in a cross section, Diana listening to Stalker, "How in the world can something that big hide so well?" They started down the hallway to their left, then took a right. Pain erupted in Dea's side, and she stumbled over her feet, but remained upright and continued to run. "Diana!" The girl turned, "I've got an idea. Let's go someplace where he'll get there fast."

Pausing to think a moment Diana suddenly had a brain child! She revealed a short cut straight to Jazz's personal quarters. "Quick! Hide under his stasis platform! Aka bed!" she pointed at the plain and simple metal table that was low to the floor.

Dea paused to stare, "Why hide?" She stood her ground and grinned, "Hit me with your best shot."

"Because it won't work if we're in plain sight! I got something to entertain you extra special order I did from Ratchet a minute ago." Stalker appeared out of thin air and handed something to Diana before vanishing again to keep an eye out for Jazz, "That is, if you want to use it." she held up the object which reminded the red head of a grenade, "This stuff basically forces the victim to revert to their alt form, in this case I asked for something a little extra... I guess you could say it gives an Autobot... ticklish piping." she grinned.

Dea grinned back, finally complying and sliding herself under the bed, thankfully for the change of pants, "Well hurry, there's an army of dust bunnies under here and they're ready to attack!"

Stalker shook his head as he exited the room 'Can't believe I'm helping them... I think I'm hanging around Diana too much... I need male type company.' he thought. 'Jazz en route, fifteen seconds.' Diana slid underneath and handed the item to Dea, "You do the honors, basically just throw it at him when you get the chance. It'll do the rest."

She nodded, taking the item and holding it gingerly in front of her, "Time for the final act!"

The door hissed open and they could see Jazz's feet as he stepped in. "Sheesh... human females scare me sometimes..." the 'Bot muttered to himself. He'd just have to finish the report later till the girls stopped sounding so... mischievous. Diana was struggling not to giggle.

Jazz shook his head, making his way over to his stasis platform. Dea's eyes widened, and she nudged Diana with her elbow, "Now?" she mouthed.

"Wait." she mouthed back. She made a sign with her hands to wait until Jazz was right in front of them before pointing at Dea and nodding vigorously.

She rolled onto her back, and with her free hand, pulled herself from under the bed, the other hand tossing the item and hitting a startled Jazz, who had looked down at the girl's strange cry of "FIAH!!!", right on the chest. "We have contact!" Dea jumped up ninja style and started cabbage-patching.

The spherical item exploded with the loud crack and with sparkling nanytes that clung to his armor then quickly made their way into his sensitive lines. "What the-?!" Jazz shuddered then shifted to his alt form, "Holy frag that felt weird! What the hell you girls doin'?!" he demanded.

Dea dipped her head in thanks as she took a bucket of soapy water from Stalker, handing the other one to Diana. Taking the sponge out from the water, she rung it out onto the floor, "You've been a very dirty boy," she cooed, a wicked grin encompassing her face. She made herself look innocent as she added coyly, "It's time for your bath mister!"

"A bath?!" Jazz didn't like the peculiar feeling that made his innards have a tingly sensation shoot through them, "Uh... girls I can give myself a scrub just fine." he tried to back up but skidded to a stop when Stalker clamped on one of those security grids tow truckers use (A/N: can't remember what it's name is) "Stalker I'm gonna make sure you're a toaster!"

"Sorry I like my alt." the small bot snickered to Jazz's back wheel.

"Scrub-a-dub dub!" The girls came forward looking innocent enough, but to Jazz, it was like a vision from the human Hell in his quarters.

"Ladies, this really isn't necessary..." Jazz pleaded his case again, "I am a fully grown bot, I don't need assistance in washing myself!" Dea, however, let herself grin yet again, "Oh, don't worry... You'll love it once we start!" She raised the sponge up high, tossing it like a basketball onto Jazz's windshield, "Dibs!"

Diana made a face that wasn't necessarily negative, "Daww so I get his cute aft?" she grinned wickedly and a little perversely. The Pontiac shuddered when the water started to drip down into his engine. He tried shutting off all open areas. The soft touch felt... peculiar.

Stalker huffed, "Oh so Jazz has the cute aft and I don't?"

"You get special attention already almost 24-7. It's Jazz's turn." Diana laughed.

Dea whined, "Awww... But I wanted to tap that!" The girls paused, staring at each other as the innuendo sunk in. The laughter filled the room as the red head folded up her pants into capris, and slid the jacket to the floor, "Ready?" She grabbed the sponge and started washing the windshield without waiting for an answer.

"Oh after we clean the outside we can clean the inside."

Jazz's voice was strained as he tried to maintain composer, "I'm not lettin' you in! You can't make me either!" Diana reached under his rear bumper and pinched the first thing her fingers touched and was rewarded with a yelp of surprise, not of pain however, "You forget that we have Stalker on our side. He can make you open your hood."

"Slag... Stalker you come anywhere near me and I'll-!"

"You'll what? No offense Lieutenant but I only take orders from Commander Prime." the attachment snickered.

Dea leaned over onto the hood, stretching to get into the corner, "Oh yeah! Let's all get inside Jazz." The bot made a swallowing sound, causing Dea to smile sweetly, "I get first dibs though!"

Jazz growled, "You two are horrible."

Stalker hopped onto the stasis platform and sat on his hunches, watching the Pontiac shudder with contained and unwanted laughter, "This is why I'm glad I'm not a Transformer with a form that can be climbed into. Having a four wheeled alt form just gives humans like these an excuse for sexual jokes."

Dea flicked a soap sud at Stalker, "Lighten up! I was having a perfectly normal life as a run away before coming here, and if I want to have a little fun, so you'll sit tight and hush up or I'm going to whine to Ratchet about how you bruised me and see what he thinks about that!" She huffed and gently slide onto the hood, being careful not to bubble it as she continued with her washing of his windshield.

The slow motion was absolute TORTURE for Jazz as he strained to not bust out laughing. It was inevitable though, eventually his circuitries wouldn't be able to handle it. Diana crawling underneath and poking around his underbelly wasn't helping in the least. He remained silent, knowing all too well that one beep and he would lose it.

The suds had made Jazz's hood slippery, unbeknownst to Dea, and before she knew it, the poor girl was sliding down him onto her butt, "GRAVY!" The room fell silent. Dea blinked and stood, rubbing her sore bottom.

Finally, Jazz managed to get out calmly, "Gravy?"

"Oooo and mashed potatoes!" Everyone shrugged and continued what they were doing.

"Cool!! All done with the outside... now to get in." Diana pulled out the items required for cleaning an engine before gesturing towards Jazz but looking at her partner, "Would you be so kind?"

"Of course!" Jazz locked his doors but was surprised when Stalker didn't try to get into his cab. Instead he popped off his own head and crawled into Jazz skittering along like a crab on his spines.

'Ok this is downright creepy...' "Get out Stalker! You're fraggin invadin' mah privacy!" the Pontiac shuddered violently.

"Ah chill Jazz it's not like I'm goin' for your spark chamber... although considering the heavy dose Ratchet put in that bomb you're in for a treat." it was strange hearing the lil bot's voice from inside Jazz.

There were several clicks, tinks and whirs before a loud click and the hood popped open and Stalker skittered out and connected back with his body. 'Primus strike me down now!' Jazz thought. Stalker stationed himself back where he'd been seated

Dea giggled, and was content to lean in and let out an appreciative low whistle, "You is a GXP ain't you boy."

Jazz shouldn't feel naked in front of a human exposed as he was but he did. And it was downright uncomfortable.

Diana tilted her head, "Huh?"

Dea grinned, "If there's one car I know, it's a Solstice. Specially a GXP. They've got turbocharged engines cranking 260 hps!" She giggled like a fangirl, and leaned away from the engine, "You can do the honors. Stalker, I'm going to need inside the cab. Vacuuming and the lot." Jazz then noticed the smallish vacuum that had been brought in with the buckets and let out a small groan, "I don't have a choice in the matter, do I?"

"Nope!" The girl smiled when she heard the lock click, signaling he had given in… either that or he just didn't want the miniature Autobot crawling back inside of him, she grabbed the vacuum, opened the door and turned it on.

Immediately Jazz regretted giving up so soon. The vacuum vibrated at a point that drove him insane because of his enhanced sensitivity, "Why the frag are you helpin' them Stalker?!" he tried to snarl.

"You think I'm doing this on my own accord?! Diana has blackmail on me!"

Diana pulled up her sleeves and took a warm wet rag and began scrubbing his engine clean. The Pontiac trembled at her touch, it wasn't just ticklish now. Oh please don't go down any further! Gah!!! Jazz whined. Between the vacuuming and his engine being cleaned he was trembling all over in helpless pleasure.

Dea stuck her head from out the cab, "Diana, you think there's dirt or something under the hood?" The girl blinked, then pulled a bottle of citrus spray and sprayed the inside of Jazz, snickering as she added under her breath, "Now you smell fruity."

"Let me see..." Diana wiggled her hand through the piping and wires and whatever else was in a car engine. Except the engine thrummed with warmness... steadily growing warmer actually. Jazz squealed something they couldn't understand. Had the girls not been preoccupied they would've seen Stalker clamping his digits over his face trying to keep himself composed and hiding his embarrassment. Diana pulled her dusty hand out.

"Yeah, I don't know if I can reach it with the sponge though." she grabbed it and stuck her hand back into the engine causing Jazz to flinch, "Oh sorry, did I hurt you?"

"...no."

"You're bent on not laughin' ain't ya?" Diana continued to work her way around his innards.

"It's prolly easier to stick a tube in him then a hand," Dea agreed, not noticing an innuendo for the first time in her life. She kicked the vacuum back a bit, dragging it with her as she maneuvered around the door to stand by Diana at the hood.

"Stalker get them away from my spark chamber! This...isn't funny anymore...!!!"

Stalker briskly paced the length of the platform on all fours watching the scene before him, trying to decide whether his dignity was more important than Jazz's. For him, Diana was a little too close for comfort. But then again she had the edge on him. Slag...

Dea poked and prodded the more larger spaces with the hose, giggling to herself at the suction sound. She placed one hand on her hip, the other holding the hose straight up. She sighed and rolled her shoulders, arching her back until she heard it pop, "Goodness gracious!" She moved both hands in front of her, popping her knuckles.

She blinked a few times, then waved her arm - the arm that had be holding the hose, "What in the--" Dea switched her gaze to the hose, which was stuck onto the roof of Jazz's hood, "OH JESUS!"

Diana threw her head back and laughed in utter amusement. She reached in to clean another surface she deemed dirty. This particular part was the warmest out of all the engine. It was vibrating against her touch. Jazz had to turn off his vocals to keep from moaning in pleasure. However Stalker knew what was happening from the amount of energy that was building up in the Pontiac.

He huffed, sticking his spines up in hostility "Don't you dare Jazz..."

"Easier… said than… done!"

Dea, however, was still trying to unstick the hose from his hood, which wasn't complying no matter how she whined, "OoooH! Please! Come on already!!!" She took a breath and pulled, the tube coming off and causing Dea to fall with it, "Frick!" She stood up quickly, and looked around as if that hadn't just happened. Placing the hose back into a spot near Diana's hand, she picked up some of the dust bunnies that had made colonies in his engine area.

Diana frowned, leaning further in to get more power into her arm, "There's one that just won't come off!"

Dea frowned as well, leaning in to see, "That does look stubborn. Try getting at it from a different angle!" The dark haired girl nodded, moving from her up and down motion to circular motion, pushing hard with her arm. Jazz twitched and the girls blinked as they were temporarily blinded as a wave of bright blue warm energy washed over them. Jazz made a strange sound of relief.

Dea looked at her friend, and started laughing, "Oh em gee!! Your hair!!" Diana drew her brow in confusion, looking over at Dea. "Oh em gee your hair!!!" The girls ran out of the room, giggling insanely as they mocked each other's new doo.

Stalker could feel his one of his optics twitching, "Jazz..."

"That was so not my fault."

"You just had the equivalent of an orgasm with my human!!" the attachment snarled.

"Not my fault...hey ummm, pal? Do you mind unhitching me while they're still gone? I need to escape this... rather pleasant torture."

"I have a right mind to leave you there."

Jazz sighed, "Yeah, but let's use our brains here... Who was the one that gave them that inhibitor orb anyway?" Jazz waited for the smaller Bot to answer.

"Ratchet."

Jazz's newly cleaned engine revved, "Exactly. I say, with the two of us combined, we should see about exacting some duly needed revenge."

"Point taken." Stalker agreed completely. He hopped off the platform and unhooked the security device and hopped onto the Pontiac's hood.

"Shall we, my good sir?"

"Yes, Lieutenant." Stalker replied.

Dea whooped, spritzing her hair with water again, "Has that happened before?!" She ran her brush through her hair, clipping the bangs on her right out of her face with a clip.

"No, maybe we should ask Ratchet about it just in case it has a negative effect... except I don't feel bad... I feel tingly." she giggled.

The red head shook herself out, "Me too. We should do the hokey pokey or something..." She laughed and set the brush down, following Diana out as she lead the way, "Off to the doctor huh?"

"Yup."

Ratchet sat in a chair in the med bay, tinkering with something when the girls came in

"YO! Ratchet!" Dea waved, plopping herself down onto the floor next to him, "We's got a question for you."

Ratchet quickly put away whatever it was he was working on and turned to acknowledge the girls, "What may I do for you?"

"So yeah, we used that bomb thingy you gave us but while we were cleaning his engine something happened..." Diana started.

Dea made a motion with her hands, "POOF!"

"... could you be a little more specific other than... 'poof'?"

Diana snickered.

"Like... POOF!" She made the motion of poofy hair again.

" Um... anything else that happened?" Ratchet asked. Diana spoke up, "Oh, we were trying to get a stain off this really really really warming up spot in his engine, he was all shakin' and stuff then there was this flare of blue light that struck us... it felt funny actually. And the poof was our hair fritzing out on us because of the energy."

"Yeah that." Dea grinned up at the medic, "I feel like doing the hokey pokey!"

"... you don't want to know." Ratchet turned his back on the girls and pretended to busy himself.

The girls blinked, and Dea shrugged, standing up and sticking her butt towards Ratchet and shaking it as she sung along, "Put your popo in, put your popo out, put your popo in and shake it all about!" A voice from the doorway stopped her, "I don't even want to know..."

"JAZZY!"

Stalker clamped down onto his mirror, "Run awayyyyy!" the Pontiac reversed at full speed out of the room. Revenge could wait another hour. Diana pretended to not notice the rather awkward hokey pokey Dea had just displayed.

Dea gaped at the now empty doorway, "Really shouldn't call him 'Jazzy' if I want him to come near me huh?"

"Nope, as he said, he's a big bot." Diana laughed. She looked up at Ratchet, "Come on Doc! Give us the sitch! What did we do to deserve such a shock?" she lightly kicked his leg.

Dea turned her attention back to the Bot, "Yeah! It was like I got a turbocharged shock to my system! MY NERVOUS SYSTEM COULD FAIL ON ME!!!"

"You'll be fine, I suggest not doing that again though. It's an invasion of privacy."

"Privacy?" Dea looked over at Diana, "Does not compute..."

"I'm not lending you another one of those inhibitors unless I deem Jazz is worthy of revenge from me." Ratchet left it at that. He hadn't anticipated the girls getting into the Pontiac's engine. They must've had extra help.

Diana shrugged, "Oh well let's go see where they went."

Dea nodded, and started for the door, feeling slightly guilty for whatever it is she had done to her savior, "Yeah, sounds like a good plan."

Stalker watched them go and signaled Jazz via encoded signal that the coast was clear, "So what was the plan?" he asked as he found Jazz's hiding spot and uncloaking.

Jazz thought for a moment, scratching at his face plates, "Get him drunk and hang him by his toes?"

"My friend, how the slag are you going to hold down a mech twice as big as you while I force feed him high grade?" Stalker thought a moment, "Wait... I think I heard from Sparky and Zan that Sparkle managed to get Ratchet drunk once..."

Jazz grinned and nodded, "Get Ironhide in there; makes it less suspicious..."

"A drunken weapons specialist... that's scary." Stalker shrugged, "Are you gonna grab Sparkle? I hope she's in for a social gathering."

Jazz nodded, "She likes me well enough, and she also likes the idea of a drunken Ratchet. It should be easy enough."

"Ok, you grab Sparkle and I'll grab Ironhide." Stalker cloaked and ran off to find the big mech.

Jazz sprinted down the hallway, his scanners on the lookout for Sparkle's energy levels in case she didn't answer, "Hey Sparkle, you up for a little fun?"

"...what sort of fun?" Sparkle's energy signature was masked. She could be anywhere in the base.

"The 'getting Ratchet drunk' kind of fun..."

"I'm in!" the red mech's mischievous laughter could be heard on the other side. Her signature became available to track.

"Stalker is getting Ironhide in too, and we'll meet back at the medical bay as soon as he reports." The mech slid to a halt, his optic twitching as he heard the two females around the corner.

"Honestly, how am I supposed to know what an invasion of privacy is to a freaking alien I've never met before! Of ALL the chances he had to set any ground lines, he never did." The red head huffed, "How is a girl to know?"

"You know... I think I might know why Ratchet didn't want to tell us... he thought we'd be uncomfortable if we knew. I'm just theorizing though... what we were touching was his spark chamber and being that he was overly sensitive... maybe we... aroused him a little?" she started to get color in her cheeks.

Dea pulled their walk to a halt, "Woooo woo wooo... You mean to say we did the nasty with my savior and basic car love?!" The other girl nodded, and Dea grinned, "NICE! Only known him about a day and already I hit a home run!!"

Diana gasped dramatically, "Holy crap and it was with me too!" she busted out laughing.

Jazz could feel his face plates heating, and trying to be as quiet as possible for a metal robot, snuck away back towards the medical office.

Sparkle was the first to arrive at the medical office. She was skipping and humming a little earth tune. Her happiness immediately caught Ratchet's attention and suspicions.

Ratchet looked up as a frightened Jazz bolted into the room, shutting the door behind him as fast as he could, "Shhhh..." He glanced around at the sort of worried faces - Sparkle, Ironhide, Ratchet and Stalker - "They're talking about getting a 'home run' . . ."

Ratchet smothered a laugh, "I can only begin to imagine what they mean by that..." He cleared his throat, "But I would like to why everyone has decided to congregate in my office? No one seems to be damaged."

At that, Sparkle's face light up in a grin, "How about a game of Truth, Dare or Shoot?"

"Oh not again..."

Sparkle leaned closely to Ratchet smiling widely, "Aww come on you enjoyed it last time! Plus it's more fun the more people you have." she was already radiating energy that would enhance the high grades even more if she was the one that handed them out.

Jazz made a whining noise, "Yeeeaaaahhhh!!! We haven't had a good ol' High Grade party in the longest time!!" He started for the table, nudging Ironhide, "Ain't that right buddy?" Ironhide raised a brow, but agreed anyway, "Thas right!" Jazz moved on to Sparkle, "And I haven't gotten the chance to sit down with Sparkle here in a long while!" He was about to address Stalker when Ratchet cut in.

"Fine! Fine, alright, let me go get some..." He shook his head, wondering absently to himself about when he had started giving in to Jazz's begging.

Sparkle was insistent on being the bartender as well as a competitor. She handed out a drink to each.

Jazz started it off, "Ironhide?" The black mech gave it no thought, "Dare."

"I dare you to sleep without your cannons tonight."

"On second thought shot." He gulped down the High Grade, grinning over at Ratchet who was shaking his head disapprovingly.

The enhanced high grade already took effect. Sparkle was next, "Ratchet."

Slag.

"Truth."

"Oh you're no fun..." she laughed.

Sparkle thought a moment, a finger tapping her chin, "Okay, which female is harder to stand; Diana or the new one?"

Ratchet blinked, "Well, I have more information on Diana, so Dea would be the more confusing one, but they're equally aggravating so far." Jazz and Stalker only grumbled their agreement.

Ratchet drank his fill and like the last time he felt that early buzz he never felt with other occasions other than with Sparkle, "Jazz." he selected.

Jazz squinted, "Truth."

Stalker coughed, "Pansy!" another cough.

"What is the real reason you're holding this little gathering?" Ironhide arched one metal brow in curiosity. Sparkle tilted her head. Stalker hid his face behind his cube/cup.

The silver mech blinked, "Honestly? To keep myself someplace the girls won't think of..." He looked at Ratchet, hoping he would take the lie as he chugged the Grade.

"Stalker."

"Oh boy. Dare." Jazz grinned, "I dare you to do the cat dance!" Stalker exchanged a confused look with the medic.

"It's a popular video clip. A cat appears to be dancing while he sings a song." The bright yellow bot sent the attachment the video, and the group grinned as the smallest bots optics dimmed.

"You're joking right?"

For a long moment Stalker considered the factors. He took his shot instead. Sudenly eyes flared with light and his body trembled as the excess energy shook his systems.

'Uh oh...' Sparkle thought.

"Oh no.." Ironhide mumbled, meanwhile Jazz was already ducking under the table. "HIT THE DECK!"

Dea blinked, "Is it just me, or do you feel like we're being left out of a very funny looking scene?" She was sitting in the cafeteria watching Zan glare at a lemon, "He knows he's gunna lose, right?"

"He never stops trying. I commend him for that." Diana said as she munched on some marshmallows, "And yeah I think-." she was interrupted when something glowing streaked by the door screaming, "...we're being left out of something..." she looked confused.

Sparkle handed Ratchet another high grade, "He'll run it off. Who's turn was it?" she asked.

Jazz was shaking with laughter, his hand in his head, "That'd be the speed demons, but I guess I'll go again." He looked up, weighing his options, "Ratchet."

The medic shrugged, swishing the container like the guys in the 'old fashioned' human movies, "Truth," he said finally, followed by Jazz's whining again("Oh come ON!").

Sparkle sent a coded message to Jazz "You have a duel purpose here don't you?" she smirked behind Ratchet's back.

Jazz responded, "Get him as slaggin' drunk as possible and torture him while he's unable to fight back." Jazz was cocky, but not THAT cocky. He knew he'd have to cheat his way to victory with the medic, and he wasn't afraid to do it either, "Alright, Why is it you ain't pickin' dare?"

Ratchet downed the shot before he even answered, "Hiding from the girls my aft." Jazz's optic twitched, while he could hear Sparkle chuckling over the private line.

"Ooohh... well... you're not going to get him drunk this way... mind if I join you in this... little bit of fun?" Sparkle's look of innocence was replaced with a serious look when Ratchet turned around to see what she was doing. Ironhide sipped his high grade, enjoying the buzz.

"Well now that my lightweight partner in crime is now a glowing blur running around the base, I could use all the help I can get." Jazz took a sip of High Grade himself, trying to blink away the buzz he was feeling so he could be alert for Ratchet's embarrassment and remember it the next morning.

"Ok." Sparkle took Ratchet's shoulders in her hands and made him face her. She held up another full cube of high grade, "Since you don't seem to be that social today Doctor... care to just visit over our drinks?"

Ratchet blinked, "I don't see why not."

"Yeah! Go be love birds someplace else. Leave the real men to do some daring!" Jazz called at the two and chugged a High Grade, grinning as Ironhide let out a disapproving rumble and chugged one himself. They started a competition of who could take in the most without passing out.

Sparkle noticed that they were grabbing all the one's she'd touched and set out for them. This is going to be interesting. She thought as she tipped the cube Ratchet was drinking from higher so that he'd drink it all (unintentionally of course, the enhanced stuff really got him drunk fast). She liked being a walking, talking energy enhancer when it came to drinking games.

Ratchet swayed heavily when he finished the high grade and glared at the younger bot, "Jazz that isn't a very respectable thing to say."

Dea looked up again, "Okay SERIOUSLY getting a 'we should be staring at this and laughing' vibe..." The girl itched at her arm, and glanced over at Diana, "Want to investigate?"

"Ok!" they were almost ran over by the glowing running thing on their way out as it made another round on the base, "Watch where you're going!" she yelled angrily.

"Welll ahh can't help it! You two aare juszt so perfect togethhher!" Jazz and Ironhide were getting very tipsy from seeing who could chug the most the fastest. Sparkle shifted uncomfortably, "I wouldn't say love birds..." she handed Ratchet another cube, keeping them coming at a steady flow so that he wouldn't stop.

Jazz grinned and tried to wink, his arm slipping off the table and causing his head to impale said flat surface, "Ow!" He flew back up and blinked rapidly, pointing a shaking finger at the weapons specialist who just made contact with the floor, "Watch it juu...!"

Ironhide muttered something extremely rude in Cybertronian. Ratchet pointed an unsteady finger at the two, "Youu two better knnock it offs! Orr I'ma gonna flush yer systemzz." he took in another high grade. Sparkle was having the most amusing time watching their stupidity. One of the perks of not getting drunk as easily as these lightweights.

"Du juu knuuu how many timez y-you've said dat to meh?" Jazz shook the finger in the air, making him join Ironhide on the floor, "NEVER ONCE! have juu flushed my sys-system..." Jazz made some giggling noise and said something quickly to the black mech, who barked a laugh.

"Thenn how 'bou I dooo eet now ehh?!" Ratchet shoved aside Sparkle and unsteadily stomped over to where Jazz and Ironhide were rolling around laughing. He reached out and snagged the Pontiac by the arm, straddled him and proceded to force open his chassis to get to his systems below.

Sparkle was pressing her hands against her mouth trying to suppress her laughter.

"NUU!!!!!!" Jazz whined, rocking side to side to throw his captor off him, "I dun't wanna geet fluzzed!!!" The two paused to contemplate the last word, Ratchet falling off of him as he repeated it, "FLUZZED!" He made a snorting noise and rolled on the ground in a similar fashion to Jazz, who was now trying to make his way back to the table for more High Grade.

"Holy frick."

All the Bots paused, four sets of head turning to the door to gawk at the girls, who had just arrived. Dea's mouth was hanging open unceremoniously, and Diana stood a bit ahead of her, her head in her hands at she tried to stop herself from laughing at the sight.

Sparkle broke the silence as she fell onto the floor laughing, she looked at the human girls, "Men eh?" she continued to laugh her circuits sore.

The red head continued to stare, ignoring her body's need for balance and falling onto her arse, "Holy chocolate covered banana on a stick..." She army crawled her way to Jazz, who stumbled away a bit before falling backwards as she had, "You are WASTED!"

"Ahm not wasthed!" Jazz huffed defiantly but couldn't help but snigger and laugh.

"I'ma gonna keeps mah promise Jazzzz!!" Ratchet rolled over and grabbed the lieutenant's leg and dragged the bipedal Pontiac toward him. Ironhide crawled away, snagging another high grade.

Dea rolled on the floor, Jazz's flailing free leg barely skimming her head, "THEY'RE ALL WASTED!!!"

Sparkle tried to speak, but snorted and clutched her sides, nodding quickly as she laughed,

"Duuuuude!!! I TOLD you we were missing somethin--Ooooo...Crickey." Ratchet was again straddling Jazz's hips, his hands batting away Jazz's as he tried to get under his chest plate's at his wires

"Ima get jooo!!!" Ratchet cried and swatted Jazz's hand away before it bitch slapped, "And you're little human too!!!" He made a gesture to Dea, who was breathless with laughter as she rambled on with her 'Holy enter random thing here ' sayings.

"Thaz right doc! teach HIM to have an oragazmm with mah hume!" Stalker stumbled in having gone through his overload sequence safely.

Diana cocked her head, "Orgasm?"

"Nyyuuuu!!!" Ratchet managed to pin Jazz's arms with his legs and was now working to open up his chest plate (which was hard considering he was drunk but he was determined).

Dea sat up and clapped her hands in glee, "We DID hit a home run!!!"

Jazz whined, and shifted his weight in a manner that caused the young teen to raise a brow and flush, "Oh me oh my!"

Stalker stumbled, leaning on Diana for support, "YESH! HEEEEE" the attachment paused to point a wobbly finger at the detained, but still struggling, Jazz, "had an oragazmm with MAAAAHH!!!! HUUUMMEE!!!" He crawled onto Diana and latched on, hissing at the males in the room, "Miiiiiiiineeeeee..."

Dea blinked, then turned her attention back to the drunken show that Ratchet and Jazz was putting on, "Okay, Stalker's a bit crazy... Ratchet makes me think of a horn dog, Ironhide is just a drunk, and Jazz is like a two year old..."

"Isn't it just wonderful entertainment these cute guys bring?" Sparkle smiled.

"Gah! Get this leech off me!" Diana tried to detach Stalker but he would have none of it. Ironhide passed out having reached beyond his limit at this point.

Ratchet was finally managing to pry open Jazz's chest plate ever so slowly while the silver mech struggled in vain, "Nyyuuu! Forgiiive mmee ol pal!"

"Olld pal mah foots Jazz!" Ratchet growled.

"Wait," Dea leapt up, doing a slow run for Jazz, "NEEEIIIINN!!!!!!" She slow mo jumped, landing a foot away from the medic who was staring at her curiously.

"Yesssss????" Ratchet blinked and swayed, "Can I help youu mi--op! Dea?"

The red head stood and brushed the dirt off her, "Yeah! You can, like... NOT do whatever you were going to do to my cute little savior and like GET OFF HIM?!?" The medic blinked again, obviously confused, "Straddle all you want, there's enough robot boy love to last me a good while, but..." She looked up at him with her best try at a puppy dog pout, "IIII want to torture Jazzy!"

Meanwhile, the silver mech started screaming - coherent at the idea of the evil teen getting her hands on him, "FLUSH MY SLAGGIN SYSTEMS JUST GET HER AWAAAY!!!"

"Maahh!! Get off me you possessive freak!" Diana tried pulling Stalker off but the black bot was stubborn. "Nyyuu! Yo minnnee!" he snickered.

"Oh dear..." Diana didn't like that look he gave her.

"Thiz izn boy luv Dea! I'ma gonna clean out hizzz systemzz... then yo cann torture hiimm." Ratchet turned back to a horrified Jazz. Sparkle finally managed to compose herself, "Uh Ratchet? Wouldn't it be safer if you did that sober?"

"Noo! I wanna do it thiz way!!" Ratchet growled.

"DIANA!!!" Dea cried, running back to her friend and latching onto her as well despite a growl from Stalker, "Ratchet won't let me torture Jazzy on my own!!!" Ratchet turned around and made a rude gesture at her, "NEEENER!!!"

Jazz paused in his thrashing, "Neener?"

All of a sudden Zan and Sparky clung to Diana from nowhere and squeaked happily at this fun game of 'cling'!

"GAHH!!! I'm being mobbed!!" Diana fell over since she couldn't handle the weight of all of them, "Op! Somebody help! Everyone's possessing over me!!" she dramatically sobbed.

Ratchet glared back at Jazz, "Ish what ahm gonna say to ya right now!" Ratchet pulled out a medical device from a subspace pocket and jammed it into the sensitive wiring underneath Jazz's chest plate causing excruciating pain to overload his systems.

Dea lifted her head, "You've got a squishy belly..." She was rewarded with a smack to her head, and the girl leapt up, bouncing back over and tackling Ratchet's leg to the best of her ability, "SERIOUSLY!!!! Duuuuude...ette..." she snorted and fell off, "I feel like I'M frickin' drunk!!"

All of a sudden the door opened and Optimus Prime stepped in, hands on his hips, his calm eyes perusing the chaos before him.

All eyes were on the commander who was doing a very good job at keeping his face from betraying his emotions bubbling in his spark chamber. Stalker hissed but gently, still clinging tightly to Diana who was in the middle of pushing his face away but was looking at Optimus. The drones beeped innocence. Sparkle stood up and started cleaning up the mess. Ratchet ignored Prime and continued to slowly and painfully clean out Jazz's systems.

Dea scrambled up, nudging the sole of the oblivious Ratchet's foot as he poked and prodded things making the silver bot shudder and shriek. The teen turned around at a particular squeal, "Oh yeah, that's so not robo boy love."

". . . Sup Big Dawg?" Dea asked from where she clung to Ratchet's ankle.

Optimus cleared his throat, "Why don't you tell me."

Dea and Diana(to the best of the latter's capability) raised their hands innocently. "WE KNOW NOTHING!"

Jazz squeaked and managed to free his arm enough to point at Ratchet, "Commander! Hel--EP! Mee!!!!"

"Ahhh ya sparkling!" Ratchet slammed the other's chassis shut and rolled off of him (opposite the side Dea was on) and lay there, head buzzing with drunkenness.

"Optimus! Get this possessive thing off me!" Diana cried out, but every time she managed to pry a hand off he'd grab on with one of his extra ones.

"Butchyo mine." he whined.

Dea chuckled nervously, "Were they supposed to invite you or something?" The girl started making her way over to Jazz's head, where she bent down and started poking his cheek while addressing Ratchet, "I haven't a clue what you did but Lordy lordy you've GOT to teach me..."

"Well now that we've seemed to have had our fun," Sparkle said as she stepped next to Optimus, "Who gets the honor of dragging them to their quarters--."

"Holy shiznat!" The bots didn't even begin to question Dea's choice of words, "It just hit me that I'll be staying here..." She blinked, and Jazz made a mockery of sitting up.

"You ain't goin' no where near my quarters again." Dea shrugged and gave a half assed nod, as if she wasn't really listening. Optimus bypassed her, picking Jazz up and tossing him over his shoulder. He moved over to Ratchet, picking him up and situating him under his other arm. "Let's just try to settle down for sleep."

"Ack! Somebody help MEEE!!" Diana whined. Zan wasn't much of a bother since he was so small, but Sparky was almost as big as herself and Stalker was just... well being drunken Stalker.

Sparkle snickered and called her drone over to her. Sparky made a disappointed squeak before unraveling itself and gliding off.

"Fudgsicles and hornet's nests! Stalker you need to let go! You're sleeping in your own room tonight!" Diana complained as she tried to walk.

"NUUuuuu!!!" Stalker released himself, but kept one of his hand latched onto her sleeve, "Youu wouldn't duu dat to meeehhh!!!" Jazz and Ratchet were now passed out, and as the assembly of humans and Autobots shuffled out of the medical office, Dea looked over at Diana, "Hey..." the door shut behind her, and the light turned off, "They just gunna leave Ironhide there or something?"

"Sparkle's still there, I think I saw her dragging him out the other hall. His quarters are near the firing range." Dia explained. She tried to shake Stalker off her arm having had enough of clinginess for one night, "Dude if you don't stop trying to puppy up to me... I might leave ya on the front step of the base." she threatened then whispered to Dea over her shoulder, "I'm afraid he might try something weird while I sleep if he's drunk."

She looked at Stalker, not bothering to hide her perverted grin, "Yeah, one can only imagine what he wants to do to you. I mean," she waggled her brows suggestively, "You're hiiiiisssss!!!!!"

Diana tried to hide her flushed face, "Dea! Don't do thaaat!" she whined.

The girl just giggled, blinking as Optimus went left, and Diana herded her to the right, "Good golly miss molly, don't blush like that then! You give me frickin' free reign!"

Stalker tripped and almost fell on his face but caught Diana's sleeve in time, "Pweeezze Dia? Dun leave me out in da cold!" the little bot begged.

Diana sighed and rolled her eyes, "Oh ALL RIGHT! Stop whining already. Sheesh." she looked at Dea, "Do you need anything else before bed?"

"Oh, naw, I'm good." She exited to her room, waving a small goodnight to the drunken Stalker and Diana, "See ya tomorrow." The door shut, and she leaned on it with a smile. "Good golly miss molly indeed..." and with that she began preparing for bed.