Because I need these peoples for the story, I am revoking the decision I made to kill them in my last parody. Harry, Hermy and Ronnie are back for books two through five, I am delighted to say. Note: If you haven't read "Harry Potted-Plant" you won't get it.
Once upon a time in the land of witchcraft there was a young boy named Harry Potted-Plant. He was very odd indeed because he attended Horseboil Academy of Aerobic Alchemy for the Nearsighted and Odd. Also attending his school were Hermy Granger and Ronnie Weasel, Harry's best friends.
In his second year at Horseboil he had to once again fight the evil nemesis of the Couch Cushion Administration. This time he fought Professor Von Garlicky-Turban. He faced a series of obstacle courses with his trusty minions, I mean friends. During the course of the fight through the many obstacles, Ronnie was attacked by the dreaded Vacuum of Whitehouse. He was diagnosed with a serious case of Hepafilter Z by a crazed Chicken Voodoo doctor living in a cactus field under Horseboil. So Hermy stayed to take care of him while Harry went on ahead to face Von Garlicky-Turban, who was trying to steal the Samurai Photo Album that could protect you from flying T.V. s and produce the Elixir of Snozeberry, which was said to keep you young forever. Harry ran ahead until he came to a giant Connect Four game board where he faced a midget Bearded Lady in Glass Slippers drinking motor oil. After he lost the game he paid her five palleons (wizard money) and got through anyways. As soon as he talked the door from "Alice in Wonderland" into letting him through so he could beat on the evil Professor, he River Danced through the door to Von Garlicky-Turban and they began telling "Yo Fruit Punch Jokes". Harry won and instead of just handing the Samurai over, Garlicky-Turban promptly turned into The Black Sheep and tried to kill him but Dracula Malfoy showed up right behind him and said "Boo" causing Black Sheep to wet his pants and walk away in shame. Harry began cheering, but Dracula hit him over the head with a blender and once again ruled the world only this time with Hermy as his little Wife-y Queen. Ha, ha.
The End