Hermione's Encounter
Rating: M
Genre: Humor
Characters: Hermione, Voldemort, kind of Draco, Harry, and Ron.
Disclaimer: Iown nothing except my crazy, erratical notions.
One day Hermione Granger sat at her desk, thinking of Draco Malfoy! She stuck her finger in her bum, and pulled out the condom full of cocaine. She drew a line of powder on the desk and stuck her nose against it. There was nothing better to do on a weekend afternoon, than to make the house-elves do her homework while she sat around, doing drugs and masturbating to thoughts of Draco and Ron, wet and naked...
Soon, the thoughts took her to a place of ultimate pleasure. She didn't even hear the footsteps and the door to the classroom open.
"Hello little mudblood," A deep voice greeted her.
Hermione whirled around, shocked at the strong touch on her shoulder. She was met with the evil face of Lord Voldemort.
"Hello," She squeaked out. She extracted her finger from the pleasurable oriface and pulled out her wand.
"Looks like you're having fun," He remarked, "Do you, by any chance, know where Harry Potter is?"
"I don't know," Hermione lied, knowing full well, that Harry was screwing Seamus in the prefect's bathroom at the moment.
"Alright then..." Voldemort turned to leave, but looked back, "You know," He began, "One of my biggest fantasies has always been to do it in a classroom with a young mudblood woman."
"Pardon my saying so sir, but we don't exactly know each other very well. We don't even get along. You want to kill my friend."
"That is true, but we could pass the time.When the right moment comes you'll have to make some difficult moral desicions, but you can do that, can't you? I'm very good at sex."
"Well..." Hermione pondered. She looked his shrivelled body up and down, before settling on his deep red eyes. She stared into them deeply and saw only caring, "All right then, do me!"
She flipped up her skirt and spread her legs as she lay ontop of the desk. Voldemort smiled, and got busy.
Two hours later, Hermione made her way back to the second-year Gryffindor dorms to tell all her friends about her encounter.
A/N: LMAO! Please review! Hate it? Love it? Laughed? Think I'm creepy and disturbed? Tell me!