Minori Afterstory: Opposite of Ghosts

by czxcjx123

Kushieda Minori held on to things, and was willing to give up others. Yet, were the things she held onto really worth the exchange? Where was the divide between ghosts and reality? Heroine & protagonist, losers & winners, lovers & loners - such was the nature of things defined. Where was the romance? What did she love? A splendid life - with all its losses.

1. Chapter 1: I Believe in Ghosts

0.

Though I believe in ghosts, I've never seen them,

And I'll never believe anyone who has said he's seen one.

But, I still believe in them.

I'm pretty stupid that way.

In other words, I'm a realist.

Sounds weird right? A realist that believes in ghosts.

I'll try to explain it as simply as I can.

I believe there's something that exists that nobody knows about

And, probably, no one has even seen it fully,

And it is hidden beneath reality

And it is the realest real you can ever real.

It includes ghosts, UFOs, and hopes, and dreams

And what people call 'ghosts' – are just one part of that 'thing'.

And when people talk about 'seeing ghosts', they're talking about seeing that thing.

The part of reality that nobody sees.

I believe in that.

It exists.

It is what I'm looking for.

It is the only thing I love.

I believe in the very real thing that contains ghosts, UFOs, and hopes, and dreams.

---

1.

Her arm could not move.

Try as she might, it did not move.

It was wrapped up in white bandages, and it looked like a sculpture.

Okay, she was exaggerating. It could move, but it did not move 'enough'. Her definition of 'enough' was – enough to swing and hit that ball into the blue, or enough to reach out and touch that base as fast as she could have managed, or enough to do hi-fives with her cheering team when they won.

It was not enough.

She closed her eyes. There were two possible reasons why she did this. The first was that she was questioning her own reality (unlikely, because she was a realist). The second was that she wanted to cut out any external stimuli so that she could focus all of her senses on that immovable block of marble that was her arm.

Or, there was that third reason. The fact that she realized she was surrounded by her friends.

Who knew, very acutely, what her situation meant.

And they were smiling, perhaps, trying to distract her from her own condition with that false sense of comfort.

But she already knew, the moment she couldn't move her arm, what it meant. She had registered everything the moment she sensed that. Her mind was pretty fast, and she was the type of person who never averted her eyes from things.

But, she was also a great liar.

Her friends had put on a façade to try to distract her from the truth. So, she had to put on a façade to play into their façade to distract them from the fact that she was already acutely and painfully aware of the truth in her own head. This was easy. She had done it countless times before.

Minori: "Uuuu… my head…"

In order not to break her façade, she tried not to look at the boy with the delinquent face. Instead, she looked at the petite girl standing by his side – who was smiling, but whose eyes showed amazing concern. That petite girl was the girlfriend of the boy with the delinquent face, and she was a very bad liar.

Then, she turned to the beautiful girl with long blue hair. That girl was smiling lightly. Their eyes locked for a moment, and at that moment she knew that the beautiful girl knew that she knew about the whole situation. Still, she kept the same face.

Besides that, there were her parents – and they looked exactly as she would expect a parent to look should their son/daughter get into a car accident and get out of it with a heavy arm injury. They, especially, knew what it meant to her.

This survey of the room happened in the entirety of 1 second, and the first one to react – as she expected – was the petite girl. The petite girl could not control her emotions, and immediately hugged her.

It was a warm hug. It was what she expected.

Minori: "What's… up? Taiga?"

But Taiga's face was dripping with snot and tears and couldn't speak, and just kept sobbing.

Minori: "If you cry here, I'll cry too… you know."

She ran her fingers of her uninjured arm through the light brown hair. It was ironic that, despite her being the injured party – she was the one who had to do the comforting.

If she had been alone, she would have been able to grieve and cry about it in peace. Yet, it was because everyone was here that she could not let out her emotions. No matter how painful it was. Keep it in.

It was a sunny day.

Old ladies were being pushed around in the hospital garden by nurses, or relatives. They must have been enjoying their old age, living out the last legs of their long lives in harmony with themselves.

Yet, this was no place for a girl who was still grasping.

Seeking.

Wanting things.

Losing things.

Her life had been full of loss. Losing her time. Losing her youth. Losing her love.

Now, losing her goal.

In other words, she had lost the thing that she placed all of her other losses upon.

A sunk cost.

At this point, she realized something. The only reason why she had learnt, so well, to keep her feelings deep within her – was because she knew the majesty of a goal. A thing higher than herself. It took her out of herself and hardened her will.

So, now that that thing was gone – why was she still bothering to maintain a face?

Because they were good friends?

They were, but their presence was only causing her pain now.

She was maintaining a façade because she had become her mask.

Her immediate reaction to anything bad was to hold it in.

Let it die inside her.

A graveyard of thoughts.

Though, there were plenty of moments where she had become overly emotional – this suppression was the standard reaction to things.

Her 'bottomline'.

Minori: "Wait a mo…. Is 'it' okay?"

Taiga: "Huh?"

Minori: "The cat."

Minori had thrown away her dreams to save a cat. It was just about the most cliched thing she could have done – acting like an impulsive fictional good guy. Impulsiveness was her façade, and somewhere along the way – that mask had mixed into her colder & more pragmatic self, and became a reality.

Such was the ways that false things could become true.

As such was the way that true things could be made false.

Did Minori suppress herself? Was her true self cold, and pragmatic? Or was it happy-go-lucky, and impulsive? Which was the real? Which was the mask?

Really, why did that matter?

The dream was gone.

A soft mew was heard.

The boy with the delinquent face, Ryuji, held up a small stray for her to see. The stray was the cutest thing in the world.

Ryuji: "Not a scratch."

Minori: "Yaaay."

She tried to make a peace sign, but a pain shot up her right arm, and she had to lift it up a lot slower than usual. It was really pathetic.

Taiga: "You…"

The girl that was holding on to her.

Taiga: "Idiot!" Minori: "Idiot!"

They said it at the same time.

Taiga was momentarily stunned because her catchphrase was stolen, so Minori continued for her.

Minori: "Idiot! Blockhead! Dunce!"

While saying that to herself, she grabbed Taiga's fist and dealt mini-whacks to her own head.

Taiga: "Don't make fun of me!"

Taiga grabbed her hand away. She pouted.

Minori: "Ahahaha. So-rrry! Man, I really messed up this time didn't I?"

Minori did a light tap on her head and made a 'te-he'.

The beautiful blue-haired girl, Ami, was not amused.

Ami: "I can't believe I cancelled my livestream just to see this idiot."

Ryuji: "Livestream?"

Ami: "Models have to adopt the methods of the digital age too."

Minori: "A se-ex-cey livestream?"

Ami: "Don't stare at me with lascivious eyes."

Minori: "Te-he!"

Ami was holding a notebook of some kind, probably her schedule, and she slammed it on Minori's head.

Minori: "Hee…."

Ami: "Can't you treat this situation with more gravity?"

Minori: "You can't hit sick people Ami! You'll make them sicker!"

Ami: "The only sicko I see here is you!"

Taiga: "Ah… don't fight!"

Minori: "Fight? Fight! Let's do this, womano-a-womano!"

Ami: "You're really an idiot…"

And then,

Ami: "Did you forget that you gave up – HIM?!"

She went there.

Ryuji: "Huh?"

Taiga's mouth was hanging open.

Taiga: "Ah…"

And Minori:

Minori: "Te-he!"

SLAM!

The book came down on her head again.

Although, she instinctively raised her injured arm to block it.

Minori: "GAH!"

And fell into a giant pile of pain.

Ami: "Idiot! Idiot! Dunce! Blockhead! Dunce! Idiot! Stuuupid! Stuuupid!"

Taiga: "Ah… that's my…"

Ryuji: "Erm, Kawashima…"

Ami: "Shaddup you stupid ladykiller!"

Ryuji: "Is that a compliment… or, anyway – I think you really need to chill, Ami."

Minori: "Yea Ami, why don't you chill."

Ami's face was red with anger. Taiga was flustered.

Taiga: "Ah… this is a hospital… and."

Ami: "You have nothing left! Nothing! Nada! The existence known as Minori Kushieda has NOTHING left!"

She reaaaally went there.

Minori: "I still have left arm! Look! Helicooopter!"

Clockwise spin.

Ami: "How can you… act like this?!"

The Kushieda parents were, at this moment in time, keeping silent and whispering "must be good to be young…" or other such stuff to one another.

Minori: "Helicooopter!"

Minori was standing on the bed now.

Ami: "That's it…"

Ami leapt onto the bed, lunging at Minori. The springy mattress caused both of them to fall onto the bed. Ami raised her hand, as though to deliver a slap, when –

Taiga: "IIIIDDDDIIIOOOOOTSSSSS!"

Ryuji: "Here come the real one."

Ami was dive-tackled by Taiga. As the little head rammed into her stomach, she stumbled back.

Both Ami & Minori had to bear the brunt of Taiga's tiny fists.

Though they were tiny, they still hurt a great deal.

Minori: "Hospital! This is a hospital! I have a broken arm!"

Ami: "You'll ruin my make-up!"

Taiga: "Idiots! Dunces! Blockheads! Air-heads! Melon-brains! Stuuuuuuuupid! Stuuuuuuuuuuuuuupid!"

By the end of it, the three of them were collapsed onto a tired heap on the hospital bed.

Ryuji: "Are the three of you done?"

Silence.

And then,

Minori laughed.

She laughed. And laughed and laughed and laughed.

As though there had never been a happier moment in her life.

And, the other two joined her.

It was stupid.

Idiotic.

That's why they laughed.

One of them had come out of the whole deal disproportionately well-off. The other had borne the brunt of endless loss. And even now, she was still losing things.

Yet, there was no ill will between them.

Things just worked out that way.

And now, it seemed so small.

Like an adolescent fairy-tale romance dream.

Minori: "Yep, everything's gone."

Minori: "Minori Kushieda is done. Gone. Nada."

Minori: "If Minori Kushieda really realllly wanted it, she could even be an attack helicopter! But Minori Kushieda isn't a girl anymore."

Minori: "The girl called Minori Kushieda doesn't exist."

Minori: "Bang – goes her dreams!"

Two fingers. Aimed at the sky. A smoking gun.

The end of a duel. But, the start of a race.

There was no longer any stand-off for love. No more adolescent fancy. No more illusions.

Merely reality, which contained ghosts, and UFOs, and hopes, and dreams.

And the thing that she was searching for.

The thing that she didn't know she was searching for, until that very moment.

When Minori Kushieda lost most of the things dear to her life.

---

2.

Ryuji: "Hey, I brought fruits."

Minori: "Apples?"

Ryuji: "No, oranges."

Minori: "Ew. You suck at choosing! The last time you brought oranges, they were so sour!"

Ryuji: "That time – Taiga chose. I told her, again and again, that you have to feel the skin and weigh the fruit in the first hand, then the second hand, then the first hand again. Make sure there are no bruises. That its ripe enough. And place it, carefully, in the basket. But then – she spends less than 5 seconds on each one and just dumps them in the basket, and rushes me to the cashier because she has some show she wants to watch…"

Minori: "So this time, it's Ryuji's special hand-picked hand-chosen hand-gardened oranges?!"

Ryuji: "Too many hands… but yes, I chose it this time. Taiga couldn't come today because she has important things to..."

Minori: "In other words!"

Minori grabbed the bag from Ryuji's hands.

Minori: "It has your tou-ch?"

She grabbed two oranges and rubbed them against her cheeks.

Minori: "Mmmm… Waaaarm…"

Ryuji: "Please don't do perverted things with my fruit! You'll ruin the taste."

Minori: "That's what you're worried about?"

Ryuji: "I'm already engaged. I don't have to worry about anything of 'that' sort."

Minori: "I can feel the love."

Then, she paused.

Minori: "Are you really really engaged?"

Ryuji: "Good enough."

Minori: "Did you do the ring thing?"

Ryuji: "Not really, officially, sorta… no."

Minori: "Then that's not called getting engaged! Stupid Ryuji!"

She threw an orange straight at Ryuji, who caught it.

Ryuji: "Don't bruise the orange!"

Minori: "Fast!"

Ryuji: "You have no idea how many plates I've caught – you know, whenever Taiga helps me in the kitchen…"

Minori: "Flaunting your love life! How crude!"

Ryuji: "Kushieda – are you doing this on purpose?"

Minori: "I try my best."

Ryuji sighed.

Ryuji: "You know, I didn't come here today just to drop off fruit."

Minori: "Is this a confession?!"

Ryuji: "That's not funny."

Minori: "Okay – fine. Leave lonely Minori to rot. Fake sob. Fake sob."

Ryuji: "You won't rot so easily with that much energy in you."

Minori: "So, what do you wanna ask?"

Ryuji was silent for a moment.

Minori could guess.

Minori: "About my plans?"

Ryuji: "…yeah."

Minori: "Who knows? I dooooooooon't know."

Ryuji: "I knew you'd say something like that."

Minori: "At least I'm not planning to be some waiter!"

Ryuji: "It's Hospitality and Management! It's more than just being a 'waiter'!"

Minori: "I've waited long enough!"

Ryuji: "Kushieda. You're really doing this on purpose, aren't you?"

Minori: "Call me Minorin!"

Minori lay flat on her hospital bed. Her arm was healing, but it was never going to be as strong as it had been before the accident.

Minori: "You're thinking something like – Minori'll be sad because everyone is leaving her behind, right?"

Ryuji: "Well…"

Minori: "That's called over-sympathizing, Ryuji."

Ryuji: "I'm sorry you think that way."

Minori: "I'm not weak enough that I need that kind of comforting. That just makes me angrier. It pisses me off."

Ryuji: "Sorry."

Minori: "I'll choose my own life. You don't have to concern yourself about those things. Enjoy your undergraduate life."

Silence.

Minori: "Due to this injury, I got rejected from that sports uni. Furthermore, my grades are pretty bad because I spent all my time in sports. And, I told my parents to use the cash I saved for my medical bills, because I didn't want to owe them anything. In other words, I'm in a pretty bad spot. If you're just going to come here and remind me that, then you didn't have to come here."

She smiled.

Minori: "But, it's painful because I know you're asking with the purest of intentions. You're too honest."

Ryuji: "She's worried too."

Minori: "She's studying… psychology was it? She wanted to be a social worker and help kids with bad parents?

Ryuji: "Something along those lines."

Minori: "Think she'll be able to save me?"

Ryuji: "Huh?"

Minori: "If I asked Taiga to save me, would she save me?"

Ryuji: "She'd probably try her best."

Minori: "Then, if I asked you to save me, would you save me?"

Silence.

Minori: "You're making me embarrassed!"

Ryuji: "Because you asked an embarrassing question! Who says that?"

Minori: "So, would you…"

Ryuji: "I'd try my best."

Minori: "What if I set a time, date, minute, second."

Ryuji: "Is this a race? A video game?"

Minori: "You haven't collected all the keys to unlock the final tower yet!"

Ryuji: "Don't make random jokes like that during serious moments!"

Minori: "If I said – at this very instant, save me. Would you do that?"

Ryuji: "You spoilt the mood, so I can't answer that."

But, the smile was gone from her face. Instead, there was something else.

More vulnerable.

As though, she was trying to push for something.

Ryuji: "I'd have to ask…. Ho-how…"

Silence.

Then.

Minori: "Pfft –"

She was holding back laughter.

Ryuji: "You were –!"

Minori: "Jeez, Ryuji – why was your face so red? Did I say something… wrong?!"

Ryuji: "You were scaring me there!"

Minori: "Engaged men should not be visiting sick girls in hospitals. A sick girl is the greatest trap!"

Ryuji: "I'll really leave. I'll leave and never come back. I'm taking Taiga with me."

Minori: "No…. but if I don't get my Taiga fix I'll dieeee."

Ryuji: "Serves you right – for playing around with people's feelings."

Minori: "Serves you right for asking me weird questions in the first place."

Ryuji sighed.

Ryuji: "Okay Kushieda. I trust you completely."

Minori: "Heh-heh-heh…. Trust me too much, and I'll steal…"

Ryuji: "…steal…"

Minori: "Your v…"

Ryuji: "Too much information!"

Minori: "What are you talking about? I was going to say 'very special person'. I'll steal Taiga and lock her up in my basement and rub my head against her head and rub my head against her head and rub my head against her head…"

Ryuji: "Bye Kushieda."

Ryuji was already turning and leaving.

Minori: "Did I say something wrong?"

Ryuji: "Many, many things."

Minori: "Oh Ryuji. You have so many bad things in your imagination. Just what WERE you thinking about?"

Ryuji: "Conversation over. I'm stepping out the door."

Minori: "Come back soon!"

Ryuji: "I'll bring apples next time."

Minori: "Thanks a lot!"

The door closed.

Minori Kushieda was alone.

Minori: "He noticed. I didn't hide it well enough."

She made that remark to herself, and touched the corners of her eyes.

It was hard to hide. She couldn't wipe it off so easily.

Her eyes were red.

Her heart was pumping the whole time.

Minori: "If she really wished it so… Minori Kushieda could become an attack helicopter!"

She made machine gun noises with her mouth.

---

3.

Minori Kushieda did not believe in self-pity, and that was the problem. Due to being stuck in the hospital for so many hours a day with nothing to do, her mind would inevitably lead to thoughts of self-pity. Stuff like – "I must be the unluckiest/stupidest/most unfortunate person to ever exist on the planet". She could not control these thoughts, although she knew them to be selfish and egoistical.

In this way, her mind became a massive waterwheel of self-pity and self-hatred.

When was that moment when she first felt as though she had to hold herself to such high standards?

To throw herself into something big?

Baseball had been a completely arbitrary choice. A chance encounter.

She had seen a beautiful home run when her parents had taken her to a game, early in her childhood – and it etched itself into her mind.

Yet, it was innate within her all along, that drive to do something larger than life. It just so happened that baseball was the thing that came her way.

The problem was that she was too immature to realize this.

Her mode of action should have been to find some new and large to throw herself into.

Yet, the extent of the costs she had sunk into baseball were so massive – that it clouded her mind. It had swallowed up resources both material and psychological – and most importantly it had swallowed up her love.

And, she was strapped down due to her hospital stay.

She had to take action no matter what.

But, she could not.

So, she was tortured by her own thoughts.

This was not the first time she had felt this way, but this was the first time she had felt it to this extent. Previous times, she could have gotten rid of it by throwing it into her dream – using her dream & constant activity to eliminate the cycle. Now, her mind was a snake biting its own tail in an endless dance.

She was stuck with a heavy sense of inertia.

Which led her to make the following phone call:

Minori: "Bored."

Ami: "Huh?"

Minori: "Booo-rriiiiing."

Ami: "Is that Minori?"

Minori: "I'm bored! Bored! Bored! Bored!"

Ami: "How bored?"

Minori: "Bored enough that you can stick a finger in the hole!"

Ami: "A dentist drill?"

Minori: "No! I brush my teeth every day! I gargle twice!"

Ami: "If you're so bored, stop surrounding yourself with boring things."

Minori: "If you don't want to be surrounded by boring things, stop living in a construction site!"

Ami: "Is the hospital renovating? Will they have a new wing for mental cases?"

Minori: "I'm bored, but that doesn't mean I'm crazy!"

Ami: "I think people with Trepanated skulls would turn pretty cuckoo."

Minori: "I'm not a beggar, why would I need to panhandle?"

Ami: "I thought a person like you would have such a wide variety of occupational experiences."

Minori: "I played a beggar on TV once. It was one of those extra roles."

Ami: "How did that go?"

Minori: "They fired me because I was too happy."

Ami: "Good choice."

Minori: "You mean beggars don't go swinging their arms up and down while singing Panhandle Panhandle Paaaaanhandle ?"

Ami: "How about a social experiment? Do that in the middle of Shinjuku and see how much cash you make."

Minori: "That wouldn't work. I can't swing my arms up and down."

Ami: "With that cast of yours, I think you'll be able to play a fine beggar."

Minori: "You think so? Yay!"

Ami: "All you have to do is to write: "I lost my hopes, dreams, and the love of my life – and all I got was this stupid cast."

Minori: "Hey! There's a difference between black humour and being mean!"

Ami: "Sorry."

Minori: "Anyway, I'm bored! Bored! Bored! Bored!"

Ami: "What do you want me to do? Hold a catwalk at the hospital?"

Minori: "Ami… in bandages… heheheh."

Ami: "Get your mind out of the gutter you sicko."

Minori: "I was just wondering if Ami Kawashima, a mature working member of society with a job, and who knows what she wants to do in life…"

Ami: "Lemme guess, you want me to get you a job."

Minori: "Ding-ding!"

Ami: "And what happened to Miss Minori "I do not wish to rely on anyone else in life?" Kushieda?"

Minori: "It's not a 'favour'! It's a 'job interview'! I'm even okay with data entry, or something boring like that!"

Ami: "You broke one arm, and you want to get Carpal Tunnel syndrome for the other arm?"

Minori: "I haven't got a driving license yet. How could I get Car Tunnel syndrome?"

Ami: "I really wish you were hit by a larger car."

Minori: "With a personality like that, how did you even get so many fans?"

Ami: "In the past, by faking it – but nowadays it seems that having an 'attitude' is in. I've been remaking my brand as the haughty sarcastic model that I want to be. Lately I was introduced to the brand Commes des Garcons & Christian Dada – and they're like really experimental punk stuff. The type of brands that makes clothes for people like Lady Gaga."

Minori: "That crazy Western superstar?"

Ami: "Yep. At first, when I made the switch into a more 'edgy' personality – I lost a ton of fans, but I've been building back up. It's been worth it."

Minori: "Don't tell me – you're wearing meat right now?!"

Ami: "It's not that experimental."

Minori: "Awww, but I think Ami would look good in bacon."

Ami: "Of course I would. I look good in everything. But I don't ever want to have meat touching my skin."

Minori: "If I saw you in a meat dress, I would eat it. I would cook it all nice and soft…"

Ami: "Say another word and I won't help you to get a job."

Minori: "Gulp."

Ami: "I think my company has some data analytics stuff they need to process, so they definitely have those kinds of jobs available. But, you know, it doesn't make sense. That's the most boring job out there – and you said you didn't want to be surrounded by boring stuff."

Minori: "Anything is better than nothing."

Ami: "But there's never nothing. I think that's the worst part. I have all these schedules and whatever, and even when I'm taking a break, my mind is already pulling out to the next thing I have to do. Even when I stop, I can't stop. I think that's the same for you – right?"

Minori: "It sure feels like everything's stopped. My whole life has stopped."

Ami: "The fact that you think that means that your mind is still moving."

Minori: "That sounds weird. When did you start sounding so weird? Is it because of those crazy fashion designers telling you weird things?!"

Ami: "Actually, they're very normal people. They're only weird for like 5% of their life – when they have to come up with new designs."

Minori: "You need to be a normal person to be truly weird huh? Sounds weird."

Ami: "No, you're just being weird."

Minori: "Ah, you caught me."

Ami: "That's because you're too easy to catch."

Minori: "Helicooooopter!"

Ami: "Is that your new running gag? I'm hanging up."

Minori: "Aw. Bye."

Ami: "Bye. Don't do anything weird."

She hung up.

---

4.

A knock.

Minori: "Who is it? Come in!"

A tiger.

A reluctant and timid tiger, pushed its head through the door, and wandered in.

Despite being a tiger, it was as soft and vulnerable as a kitten. Its fangs were dull and its whiskers tickled your face.

With lungs as small as those, it could hardly roar.

And yet, it had spent its whole life trying.

It knew the pain of isolation and neglect.

Yet, it continued.

Thus, you could never hate it – despite its existence as one of the most dangerous creatures in the world.

Tigers used to be worshipped in China. The stripes on its head signified its regal nature.

This tiger was unbelievably precious, and could never hurt a fly.

This tiger was unbelievably earnest, and could never rip a man to shreds.

But, this tiger had hurt Minori in all sorts of ways.

Yet, she could never hate a tiger such as this one.

The tiger walked in alone.

Tigers and dragons were considered to be beasts among beasts in the world of Eastern mythology. Yet, what's interesting is that one of them was a fictional creature, while the other was real.

Thus, the dragon flew in the sky of the mind, while the tiger crawled in the earth of the body.

The dragon was the one who grabbed her into dreams, but the tiger had pulled her down to earth.

Torn both ways, she had stitches and cuts all over her own body.

Minori smiled.

Minori: "Ryuji isn't here?"

The tiger nodded.

Minori: "Are those apples?"

The tiger was carrying a bag in its mouth. A plastic bag full of apples.

Minori: Oh, wow – these look so red! You picked these out yourself?

The tiger growled angrily.

Minori: "I'm not saying you're bad at choosing Taiga! But – aww nevermind! Come here!"

Minori reached over and grabbed the tiger's head, and started to cuddle it and rub it. She was the zoo-keeper over here. The tiger squealed and made strange noises.

Minori: "I haven't seen you for so long! Don't tell me Ryuji's forcing you to do all sorts of bad things! Is he? Do you want big sis Kushieda to give Ryuji a big smacko on the lips!"

The tiger made several weird noises. It seemed embarrassed.

Minori: "Aren't both of you university students? How would I know what bad things you're up to?! But the Taiga in my heart is an innocent Taiga!"

While she was grabbing and nuzzling the tiger's head, it thrashed around and roared for a bit, before finally stopping and calming down.

Minori: "What's wrong?"

The tiger purred.

Minori: "I don't know – why are you asking me? I'm the most inexperienced person in that field! But couples fighting being normal is the thing I hear when I read those strange articles online."

The tiger pushed its face into Minori's chest, deeper.

Minori: "University stuff?"

The tiger purred.

Minori: "Once again – wrong person to ask. Do you think I'm a ghost that can fly around or something? I have no idea what that kind of life is like."

The tiger purred.

Minori: "I don't know if I know more – about human relationships."

The tiger looked up at Minori's face.

Minori: "That's because you're easy to read, Taiga."

The tiger growled.

Minori: "Honesty isn't stupid. Sometimes, I wish I was more…"

The tiger purred.

Minori: "I'm glad you think that way."

The tiger nustled in Minori's lap.

Minori: "Beautiful days… hmmm?"

Minori: "Aren't you just over-valuing the past?"

The tiger didn't make a sound. Minori hugged the tiger.

Minori: "Well, not everyone gets to play a damsel in distress, run away, fall in love, and live a life like an emotional teenage drama. But, that's all a matter of perspective."

The tiger looked quizzical.

Minori: "No, I think that those days we shared were fun. But, I think you're getting some things wrong. Did Minori Kushieda really look so happy all the time?"

The tiger was silent.

Minori: "Although she played it off like that, she was holding a lot of things in."

The tiger purred.

Minori: "You couldn't do anything about it. You had a lot of problems on your own. It was all my own issues. Don't blame yourself."

The tiger…

Minori: "You're too precious. My precious best friend. My precious Taiga. In a way, maybe playing secondary heroine to your whole light-novel romance love story was my method of looking away from my own faults."

…

Minori: "Like, everyone wants to live in that story. Being caught in love triangles, drama, adolescent craziness and the whole deal – even though it seems crazy and emotionally devastating – it's actually exhilarating."

The tiger…

ROARED!

Taiga: "Are you an IDIOT!?"

Minori was taken aback.

Taiga: "IDIOOOTT! STUUPPIIIID! If you wanted to be a heroine – you could have just… STUPID!"

Minori: "Taiga?"

Taiga: "Secondary heroine? You were the hero! Main character status! Protagonist! You did everything by yourself! You saved me too!"

Minori: "But all that was just…"

Taiga: "To me… to everyone, even – you were too big for that! Too bright for that! You were the selfishly selfless egoistical lone wolf hero! Of course it's all your own fault!"

Minori: "My own…"

Taiga: "My stupid dad. All that family stuff. Weren't you the first one to get involved? How could anyone who acts like that be a secondary heroine?!"

Minori: "Why're you so mad… Taiga?"

Taiga: "Because you were always the hero! Even before Ryuji came in, you were my first hero! You're telling all this bad stuff to yourself now because you're stuck in this room and surrounded by old people all the time, but once you get out – you'll be Minori all the way! I've always been stuck deciding which Taiga I want to be, but you'll always be Minori – no matter what!"

Minori: "How would you know what I feel?! At ALL?!"

Taiga: "I don't care about how you feel! Feelings change! Words don't mean anything! Right now, I'm studying about the human mind and stuff, and one of the things I'm supposed to read about is how stuff like Asian values were formed. One of the things that Confucius says is "When I started, I used to hear words, and believe they would be acted on; now I listen to what men say, and watch what they do." It doesn't matter what Minori thinks! What matters is what Minori has done, and has been doing all this time!"

Minori was stunned. Speechless.

Aisaka Taiga, and Kushieda Minori. Two opposites. One was weak, and the other – strong.

Which was the strong one, and which was the weak one?

The bravest little tiger to ever exist.

The hero who was always putting herself down, internally.

Which was which?

She laughed.

Then hugged Taiga.

Minori: "This is why you're my precious best friend."

Despite always needing to be saved. Despite seeming so fragile. From the very start, Minori was being saved by Taiga – all the time.

Kushieda Minori was a hero, and, that was her weakness. Her lovely weakness.

Heroes were only defined by the damsels that they saved.

---

5.

A digression involving Kitamura.

Ami: "Hey Yusaku."

Kitamura: "Hey, I finally got through."

Ami: "How's your love quest going?"

Kitamura: "Very badly. Last time, I think I told you I was doing okay, but in actuality my plans were utterly ruined. You see, I didn't tell Prez that I was going to come over – and by the time I got there, she was already in a relationship."

Ami: "WHAT?!"

Kitamura: "Yep. It was very surprising to me too. She went into Aerospace engineering, and was apparently so heart-broken after leaving Japan that she joined the Student Council there as well. She became a workaholic, or something like that, and collapsed due to studying and working at the club activities too hard. One of the other members in the Student Council helped her get herself together, and so she found a better support than me."

Ami: "And how exactly did you know about all this?"

Kitamura: "Since I didn't tell her, I had to walk around campus looking for her – and we bumped into each other by chance. It was a very very heart-breaking, emotional scene with a lot of shouting (from Prez) at what a humongous idiot I was. Thanks to that, the word spread about – and I became the legendary "No.1 dedicated lovesick idiot" in the entire campus. That's definitely a way to pull off a university debut. But I soon came to know that the guy she was with, her new boyfriend, was the nicest guy in the world and probably more suited for her than me in every possible way. So, afterwards, we became good friends. If I were a girl, I think I would fall in love with him harder than Prez did."

Ami: "Please don't make such tasteless jokes…"

Kitamura: "On the other hand, thanks to my reputation and the help of her boyfriend... he arranged for me several blind dates already. I haven't found anyone yet, but it's been a blast over here so far. Sumire's cooled off, and now we're just friends – and she seems to be a lot more mature than before, and relaxed. Whenever you read romance stories, the authors will always try to paint so & so as the best fit relationship – but life's really strange and ever-changing. It could go in any possible direction. Sometimes, you just have to know when it's not meant to be."

Ami: "Yusaku, you sound like a lame middle-aged guy right now. I guess having your heart-broken really added decades to your life and killed your youthful libido. If I were in your position, I'd definitely be plotting everything I could to steal her back for myself."

Kitamura: "Ami, please don't make such tasteless jokes."

Ami: "Haha, just kidding. But as long as you're not thinking of jumping off a building or something, then that's okay. On the other hand, I'm getting worried about the situation over here."

Kitamura: "Minori?"

Ami: "She's lost so much that I wonder whether her heart can take it."

Kitamura: "No, I don't think she'll break so easily. If you know Minori."

Ami: "Yea, you're right. She thinks she's pretty complicated. But, actually, she'll return to a few core principles eventually. In a way, that makes her pretty simple."

Kitamura: "Like yourself?"

Ami: "No way. I am truly truly complicated. Minori's like a sundial, and I'm like a grandfather clock."

Kitamura: "Then Taiga must be like a digital watch."

Ami: "In that you look at the screen and you can read her immediately?"

Kitamura: "Who knows. You're changing your own metaphor."

Ami: "Who knows? Simplicity, complexity – all of these things are pretty useless in the long run. Everyone is probably a bit of both. Trying to read people's hearts, or trying to read your own – overthinking, or underthinking – who cares."

Kitamura: "Now you're sounding like a middle-aged woman, Ami."

Ami: "Blame it on work stress. Although I'm a model, I feel like an OL. I'm being pulled left, right, and all over the place. Can't even catch a break. That's because I know that my looks won't last. That's the fate of all models."

Kitamura: "Aiming for an early retirement?"

Ami: "I wish, but I know it won't be so simple. I'm just aiming for a splendid life – in the parameters that I define."

Kitamura: "Sounds great. But I have another blind date to go to. Wish you all the best."

Ami: "You ladykiller."

The line cut.

Ami sighed.

Ami: "Romance stories, huh."

Even in that storm of emotion – those bright school days – she was an observer. Was that because of a flaw, or a gap, in herself? Or was it because she fully defined herself, such that she didn't need any romance stories to sate her?

Minori was pretty stupid because she let those kinds of worries get to her. Ami knew that, as much as she could see her own thoughts – she had no idea what 'self' those thoughts came together as. She was perfectly okay with that arrangement. Knowing yourself wasn't something that was determined and constant – like a kind of title or promotion given by a superior – but it was an opaque process that shimmered in moments, and then disappeared into a whole host of doubts and fears.

Looking at herself in the mirror – all the beauty that she was. Flowing hair. Perfect skin. Glistening eyes.

Looking at herself underneath – murkier, and a lot more indistinct.

One plus one made one. Ami, two.