Title: New York Heat (Title subject to change)
Author: Fyre
Category: Drama/Angst/Comedy
Rating: R--It has naughty language and adult situations.
Email: Boscosbabe55@bellsouth.net
AIM: ToriBoscorelli
Spoilers: None really, it's just suppose to be fun. But it's kinda based off 'The Self Importance of being Carlos." The events take place after season four.
Disclaimer: All characters are the property of John Wells and Edward Allen Bernero and NBC. Those lucky bastards. I'm only renting them for a while, I plan to be kind a rewind
when I return them.
Summary: Carlos and women

A/N: This idea came up when I was talking to Frostee *Hugs Frostee* Anyways this is all after the season four episodes, but Carlos is pre season four...he's like he was in season two...cause he was cute and funny. Now people before you go and get your literary underwear in a bunch, please remember this is for -fun-. I'm not being serious with this fic, I'm only writing it because it's fun. So don't get all uptight. If you are offended by dick and fart jokes....then this story may not be for you. Thank you.

********

The summer sun beat down on the pavement below, another hot and sweltering day in New York City.

"Temperatures should reach the mid 90's-" The lady on the weather channel reported. But Carlos wasn't listening to her-- he was watching her. Damn that chick is so hot, no pun intended. If Brittany Spears and Nancy Regan...when she was hot. Had love child that chick is -it-. He mused to himself, still blankly staring at the screen, watching her move, the TV itself, was up pretty loud but Carlos didn't hear a word of it, he only saw, and he -really- liked what he say. Hey baby, New York isn't the only place with a heat wave, there's a heat wave in my pants. He grinned.

"Carlos! Yo earth to Carlos Nieto!" Ty shouted at him.

Carlos turned around in his chair, still showing his goofy grin. "Huh."

"It's 2:30, we better get to work." He picked up his duffle bag and waited for Carlos. "Last thing we need to do is be late."

"Yea, Kim would kill me if I was late. Ever since she became Supervising Medic, she's on this whole holier-than-thou kick! I don't buy it one bit. Under all that holier-than-thou exterior, is still the same fruit loop."

"Good for her. Now can we go?" Ty anxiously questioned Carlos.

Carlos stood up, running his hand through his hair, as he picked up his duffle bag, turning the TV off on his way out.

They walked out of their apartment and on to the street. "When they said it was hot out, they meant -hot-. I could fry an egg on the street." Carlos whined, shielding his eyes for the hot, glowing rays of the sun.

"You're telling me. I hate it when it's like this. I like a nice mild 75 degrees out. A cool breeze, that weather is perfect, this shit fucking sucks." Ty bellowed, putting his sun glasses on. "Bad thing is, when it's hot like this...Sully he sweats, and bad. He gets pretty ripe."

"Yea, yea, Sully ripe." Carlos said nonchalantly as he watched a girl walking on the other side of the street. Damn look at her. She's....wow, she makes me excited. My little friend likes, he likes her a -lot- If Michelle Branch and Tyne Daly when she was hot had a love child...that chick is -it-

"Carlos are you even listening to me?" Ty questioned, rather annoyed by is lack of interest

Carlos turned around so that he was walking backwards, still watching the girl. "Did you see that girl....did you see the rack on that girl. They were out to here." He cupped his hands out in front of him. "That girl she was fucking hot Ty!"

"You wonder why you have trouble getting dates." Ty said as Carlos turned back around

"Who said I had any problems getting dates?" He asked rather hurt by the notion.

"When was the last time you went out with a girl Carlos?"

Carlos' mouth dropped. "Last week...I went out with a girl last week, that Sara girl."

"Yea you two talked for what, ten, maybe fifteen minuets and then she slapped you and walked off."

"That was not a slap!" Carlos spoke rather defensively. "That--that was a love tap."

Ty smirked. "If that helps you sleep at night Carlos, you can keep telling yourself that."

"Hey she wanted me.... she wanted me bad, she just didn't know it." Carlos shrugged. "I'm simply irresistible." Carlos cleared his throat and started to speak with a foreign accent. "Good evening.... for I am Carlos-"

Ty cut him off. "Don't you -even- start with that song, I hate that song."

A sad and hurt look grew across Carlos' face. "But-"

"No buts...that song sucks. You haven't won any girl with that song. In fact you've done the complete opposite, you've scared them off."

"What about Tanya?"

"Tanya was deaf Carlos...and she couldn't hear you." Thank God for small favors. Ty said to himself.

"If I would have known sign language, she would have been at my feet begging me to take her home." Carlos said matter-of-factly.

"No she would have been at your feet throwing up."

Carlos stared at him. "Hey I'm a smooth pimp, I'm just hitting a dry spell. That's all it is. Is a dry spell."

"A really looooooooooooog, dry spell." Ty covered his mouth holding back laughter, as they stopped in front of the 55. "Hey man good luck with your quest to get into who's-ever-pants-it-is-today." Ty said still trying to hold back his laughter. "I'll see you after work."

"Just wait--you just wait. You'll see I'll have someone tonight. If my bed is rockin'. Don't come a knock..." His words trailed off as he caught eye of yet -another- girl, walking out of the precinct house. He tried to call out to Ty to see if he could get her number for him, but he was already gone. Damn it! He cursed to himself slowly entering the firehouse, to begin his shift.

He hurried up stairs and to his locker, where Jimmy was already changing. Carlos was wearing his civvies still. Semi-baggy jeans, with a dark blue shit, that had NYU written across it. He ran is hand, through his thick, dark, Latino hair. Flashing Jimmy, his boyish smile. "Oh hey Doherty." he nodded. "What's up?" Throwing his bag down by his locker he hurried over to the window. "You should see this chick, I saw coming in. damn she was -fine-! Tight ass! Long legs, full lips...and her breasts." He held his hands out in front of his chest. "OOO they were yummy! Talk about some grade A melons. If Naomi Campbell and Dolly Patron when she was hot...had a love child. That chick was it." He looked out trying to see her. Turning around on his heel he smiled again at Jimmy. "I'm telling you that chick was -hot-! I'd so do her. She wouldn't have to ask me twice." Why would she have to ask me twice, how could she resist the charm of Carlos, Man of love? He boastfully mused to himself grinning like a schoolboy, seeing his first set of tits.


Jimmy blushed a bit and smiled. "That's nice Carlos--I'm proud of you. Now I better get going, I have a -ton- of paperwork to do. It's not easy being the acting Lieutenant."

Blah, blah, blah. Jimmy thinks he's so great because he's acting Lieutenant. blah, blah, blah...Jimmy thinks he so cute because of him dimples. Because girls fall at his feet for those dimples. Well jokes' on you Mr. Doherty. I'm Carlos, Man of love...I'm what they are dreaming of. You wait and you see. I'll bet you by the end of the night. I'll have a girl. Yup that's right. Tonight I will have a girl. He mused to himself. Yes just you wait and see!