Will POV
I'm not sure how I ended up like this, all my life I've always been a very happy person, not many things would ever get me down. I put up with a controlling wife and a crazy cheerleading coach that seems to be out to destroy my career for 2 years, but that all seemed to change when I started to fall for a certain red headed guidance counsellor, I've never fallen so hard and when I hit the reality of it, it hurt. It hurt a lot, and ever since then, well I've been like how I am.
It's got to the point where my students are asking me if I was okay, or if they ask Figgins if it was okay for me to take a leave of absence. Isn't that supposed to be my job, I'm supposed to be the once whose worried about the students, it's definitely not meant to be the other way around. I know that if Emma was here, everything would be fine, and good. But she isn't. She doesn't care about me anymore ever since she found her dentist 'boyfriend', what's his name, isn't it like Kirk or something. I know I should move on, it seems she has of course, but I can't , Emma is precious. She's a one in a million and the fact that I blew my chance with her hurts me every day. I know she wants me to justify my actions and give her a reason for them but I can't because there wasn't a reason. It was pure and plain stupidity.
I don't even fit into my clothes anymore, it's understandable, all I eat is cookies and all I drink is booze. Again, there is no need for such absurd actions but it's Emma, she drives me crazy, she makes me do things and say things I would never say. It's what makes me fall in love with her even more. It's true; I think I'm in love, not the love I felt for Terri, I don't think that was even love. What I feel for Emma is so much stronger, every time I see her I just want to tell her everything. I feel nervous around her like one would feel in the presence of the President or the Queen, but for me that feeling comes whenever I'm around my Em. I wonder if she hears the way my hearts breaks every time she hurries past me in the corridors, because I feel it. I don't want her to feel on edge around me. We were once best friends and even though I was the one that ruined that, I wish I could get one more chance to get her back. It seemed a lot easier back then, back then when she was mine even though neither of us realised it.
Glee club is hosting a school event that's coming up. I don't know if she will be there, I don't want her to be there if she's going to bring her 'boyfriend'. I will never get used to calling him that. I should be her boyfriend, I should be the one that gets to hold her hand when she's walking, I should be the one she calls when she's in trouble. I should be the one, but I'm not. Rachel asked me if I wanted to sing a song, I don't know if I'm up for it. I will if Emma is there, so I got Rachel to go and ask if Emma was going to be attending. She is. This is it. This is my chance, my chance to prove my love for her, to prove that I'll never betray her trust again, and that I'll always be there for her whenever she needs me, whether it's at 1am or in the middle of a lesson, I'll be there. I need her to know that I'd never let her go, I'd never let her slip away and I'd love her endlessly no matter who she is, and that I'll always love her OCD , and I accept that that is a part of her and I love it because I love her. Her, in all her beauty and amazingness. This could be my chance to show her that the love I felt for her is still alive and beating, and to remind her that those feelings she has for me are still there. That I see them every time she looks me in the eyes or the way she walks into the lounge but avoids the place where she shouted at me. I need to show her the way I felt when she was mine. I want her to know that I remember everything we did together. The way we would stay up talking on the phone all night, or the way that we made each other laugh so much to the point where we couldn't breathe. Or when we went to find her wedding dress for her and Ken's wedding. The fact that in that moment all I wanted to do was kiss her and never let her go but I couldn't so I ran. I ran away like I always do. I want her to know that I would never run away from her, I only ran because I knew if I stayed I would do something I would regret.
I still haven't picked my song, I'm not sure what one to do. There is an endless amount of things that need saying but I can't say them all, maybe I will get to one day. The Glee boys helped me narrow it down to a top five. There is 'When She Was Mine' , 'Last Kiss' , 'She Will Be Loved' , 'The Man Who Can't Be Moved' or 'Fall'. We decided on a mash-up between 'When She Was Mine' and 'Fall' since they both describe my exact feelings.
The night of the event came sooner than I expected and I was left stood backstage masking in all my nervousness and anxiety of performing to Emma. I don't know if she will replicate my feelings back, or will I just be making a fool of myself. The kids performed 'We Are Young' as a group number and the boys performed 'Heart Vacancy' and the girls performed 'I Knew You Were Trouble'. I heard Rachel announce to the audience 'I would like to welcome our Glee coach, Mr Schue!' which was followed by a scattered round of applause from the guests that were actually listening.
Showtime I guess….I look out to audience trying to spot Emma, I see her, she's sat at the back wearing a beautiful emerald green dress which highlighted her figure perfectly and her hair was a tousled look neatly placed in a bun, almost the same as what it was like at her wedding with Ken. I catch her eye and hold her gaze until I have to look away to find my guitar.
Everywhere I go
Everything I do
Reminds me of you
Just a picture on the wall
I'm surrounded by it all
Gotta walk before I fall, yeah
Fall out, out on the street
Streetlight, light up for me
So far from where I used to be
I look out into the audience to catch her eye, I spot her immediately , I can see that she understands that this is dedicated to her, but I can't read her eyes, I don't know how she's taken it.
When she was mine
Everything was easy
Everything was simple
Never felt so good
When she was mine
I wanted to remember
Never missed a second
Now I wish I could forget
Forget when she was mine, mine, yeah
When she was mine, mine, yeah
Well, let me tell you the story
About a girl and a boy
He fell in love with his best friend
When she's around, he feels nothing but joy
But she was already broken, and it made her blind
But she could never believe that love would ever treat her right
Did you know that I loved you or were you not aware?
You're the smile on my face
And I ain't going nowhere
I'm here to make you happy, I'm here to see you smile
I've been wanting to tell you this for a long while
I look over at her again and give her a smile, I think it comes out as a heartbroken one because after she sees it, she starts to cry. She smiles back, there might be some hope for us at last…
What's gonna make you fall in love?
I know you got your wall wrapped all the way around your heart
Don't have to be scared at all, oh, my love
But you can't fly unless you let yourself,
You can't fly unless you let yourself fall
What I miss the most
Is talking up all night
We laughed until we cried
I can see the she is reminiscing about those times. She sees me looking at her and I wink, she lets out a little laugh. I'm glad I made her smile because inside I'm dying.
Now I'm breaking at the seams
Dropping to my knees
Nothing left of me, no
Like stone turned into dust
My heart wasn't enough
So far from where I used to be
I understand these lyrics, I understand how this feels and I sing it with so much emotion because it's that line that means the most to me. I feel a tear cascade down my face, I hope no one noticed.
What's gonna make you fall in love?
I know you got your wall wrapped all the way around your heart
Don't have to be scared at all, oh, my love
But you can't fly unless you let yourself,
You can't fly unless you let yourself fall
Well, did you know you're an angel who forgot how to fly?
Did you know that it breaks my heart every time to see you cry
Cause I know that a piece of you's gone
Every time he done wrong I'm the shoulder you're crying on
And I hope by the time that I'm done with this song that I figure out
Wonder if she's out there
Wonder where she goes, she goes
Wonder what she's doing
Will I ever know, yeah
I will catch you if you fall
I will catch you if you fall
I will catch you if you fall
If you spread your wings
You can fly away with me
But you can't fly unless you let your... let yourself fall
When she was mine.
I look up from my guitar to see the audience on their feet, shouting and clapping. I hear whoops from the audience, I take a bow, look at Emma one last time and exit the stage. I manage to get off the stage without bursting in to tears, but as soon as the curtain closed , they started, rolling down my face, one by one showing the world how I really feel. How I've been falling apart inside without her. I exit the stage only to have Emma thrust herself into my arms. I look down at this wonderful woman and hug her back and rest my head on hers. She felt one of my tears hit her head and that's when she looked up.
'Will? Are you okay? What's wrong?' She asks, she's always been so caring about everyone else, I wonder how she feels and how this must hurt her as well, and just that thought alone makes me cry harder.
'Em, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. These last few months have been torture, I don't know why I did what I did, and I have no explanation for it but I just know that I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me. I really miss you, I miss the way your smile alone would light up my day, even when it would've been the worst day ever, you managed to make it better just by being there. And now recently, not having you there when I was falling apart the most, I felt helpless, there was so many times that I wanted to hand in my resignation to Figgins because I just couldn't bear to be reminded of the hurt and pain I caused you. And I wanted you to know how much I love you, it's true Emma, I love you. I understand if after this you don't want to talk to me again , I know you have your boyfriend but I really need you to know how much I love you, and how I meant every single word in those songs…'
She paused, I didn't know if I'd said too much so I done what I always do. I turned away and started to walk away, I didn't stop until I felt her hand on my arm.
'Will, I'm sorry. I am the one that should be sorry. I completely understand why you did what you did. You had been with Terri for so long and we completely rushed everything, it moved way too fast for both of our liking yet we didn't want to say because we didn't want to hurt each other, but what we didn't realise is that by doing what we were doing , we were hurting each other, way more than what would've happened if we just told each other how we really felt. I don't have a boyfriend anymore. We broke up, he realised that I had feelings for someone else and he might not have understood by he let me go. I love you Will, and I know we shouldn't rush into a relationship again, but this time it is different.'
'How' I ask, 'how is it different'
'Because now we have both made mistakes and we both know how we'd feel if we lost each other again. I feel like it's the right time, there may never be a good time but in this moment, it feels right. I understand that you may not want to, but just so you know , I'll be waiting, and I've always loved you Will. Those songs were perfect and you are perfect. I'm sorry I made you feel the way I did and I will never forgive myself but I just love you so much and sometimes I just don't know what to do with all these feelings, I've never felt like this about anyone before, so I have no clue what I'm doing. But I do know that I love you, and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, that is if you'll have me!'
Did she just say she loved me, EMMA PILSBURY LOVES ME! AND I LOVE HER! AND I GET ANOTHER CHANCE!
'Emma, you have no idea how much that means to me, of course I'll have you! How does Wednesday night sound, my place, I'll cook'
She looked confused 'but Will, Wednesday night is tonight'
'Exactly, might as well not waste any more time, and since I love you and you love me, I believe I can do this…' I lean down and catch her lips in a long and meaningful kiss.
'I think that sounds perfect. I love you so much..' We kiss again, and again and again. Until Em reminds me that we should probably get home. 'Home'…I like the sound of that.
Epilouge
'Hey daddy, come and catch me!' Nolan Isaac Schuester shouted out to his parents.
'Daddy, you have to come and catch me as well!' Nolan's twin Elijah-Moses shouted back at his dad.
Will Schuester couldn't be a happier man. If you told him 8 years ago that he would be married to formerly known as Emma Pilsbury now known as Emma Schuester, and that they would have 3 chilldren. Two 6 year old twin boys called Nolan-Isaac and Elijah-Moses and a 2 month baby girl called Orla Anne who everyone calls Annie, he would have probably started to cry because it would never be possible. But here he is, on Christmas day with his two sons playing in the snow while his wife stays with his princess inside.
He takes the boys inside to get them warmed up and get some nice hot cocoa in their tummys.
'Eli, come on, let's go play a song for mummy and Annie…!'
'Daddy, do you want to come too? I really want you to hear us sing!'
'Sure thing little man, shall we go?!' Nolan nods and Will throws Nolan over his shoulder and runs up the stairs to the rest of his family.
Elijah picks up the guitar and Nolan sits at the piano. Luckily both the boys had been blessed with the voice of angels, well when you have their parents and parents, you're bound to right?
The two little boys start to play 'Santa Clause Is Coming to Town'. Annie starts to chuckle at her brothers rocking out to their Christmas songs and Will and Emma sit and watch their amazing family. Life turned out pretty good for the Schuester family and they couldn't be happier.