Disclaimer: If I happen to one day find that I own Harry potter I'll let you know. As for know it isn't mine.
Warning: I am my own beta, so there would most likely be grammatical errors.
AN: this is my first Harry potter frantic (although not new to reading it on fanfic) it's just something I wrote out of the blue. So don't bother overly criticising it. You'll scare me off from writing Harry potter fanfic.
OOOOOOOOO
Consequences of obliviousness
"Merlin's crap, what did you do to her Ron?" Ginny asked leaning over the banister of the apartments stairs, to look fixedly at the trembling brunette ,stalking down the stairs and muttering under her breath all they way. The muttering was getting less audible as she got down the stairs.
"Oh, yeah go ahead and blame me."
"It wasn't you?" she said raising an eyebrow and closed the door. "Because as far as I know Hermione never lets herself get that bonkers for anyone's sake. Unless it involves you of course."
She followed him to the kitchen and sat herself on the counter taking off her leather gloves.
She accepted the levitating cup of tea above her, sipped it and made a face.
"I didn't even know tea could taste this horrible."
"Oh go screw yourself." Ron was in a foul mood.
"Now, now Ronny my boy. Why would I do something like that when I have Harry?"
"For god sakes Ginny! I can do things to you, evil crap that would make George's hex seem like nothing."
"Someone seems a bit cocky today." She said then snorted. "Besides wands are so overrated. But muggles," she said sounding frighteningly like there father. "now they got some convenient weapons, like that metal thing. You don't even need time to think before it kills you."
"If only Voldemort thought of that." called out Ron as he walked to he's bedroom to change.
"Just imagine we could have had the whole Voldemort ordeal over with if we just harassed him with bombs." She giggled as she gripped Pigwidgeon that was swooping by and stroked he's soft fur with her index finger.
"You know if we had a conversation like this three years ago, it wouldn't be as funny."
"True say. Now." she placed her half empty cup on the counter beside her and let the poor owl fly away from her grasp. "I was thinking about today and I think we shouldn't get a banner for the party, you know how Kreacher almost suffocated himself with it and besides Hermi-"
"Wait a sec." Ron snapped coming back in the kitchen with fresh cloth on. "What party?"
She gaped at him for a second and blinked rapidly.
"I understand know."
"Understand what Ginny? Honestly you sound like uncle-"
"Why Hermione is possible plotting your death at this moment."
"What! Why? Tell me, tell me why!" he urgently gripping on her shoulders and gave her a little shake.
"Stop shouting!" she whined. "You sound like a banshee!"
"Why is Hermione angry?" he repeated.
"You're as forgetful as Neville. Speaking of Neville did you know he was dating someone? Apparently she was in Hufflepuff in your year. me and Luna went over to he's place yesterday and the darling tried to kick us out, but by the looks of it he needed our help getting ready, like Hagrid always say's to us-"
"Ginny!" he snapped. "Why. Is .Hermione. Angry."
"Oh get away." she yelped waking him with her glove. "Your breath stinks."
"Ginny. Did some one set you up to test my patients? Cause you should report back to them and tell them I'm passing."
"What day is it today?"
"I don't know! Some messed up holiday Luna came up with?"
"No, Ron." she shook her head. "Think Ron. Search deep within your mind, and you will foresee the true -"
"Don't do that!" he said taking he's hands off her shoulders like he'd been electrified. "You sound like professor Trelawney."
"Well excuse me, I just so happened to have enjoyed her classes, as I recall back at Hogwarts I-"
"Will you just shut up!" he snapped and gave her a harder shake.
"RON!" a voice boomed causing them to jump at the familiarity of the voice. They barley stop themselves from responding to there childhood instincts and hiding for covers.
Mrs. Weasly glaring head was neatly positioned inside the fireplace.
"What have I told you about bullying your sister?"
"Bullying!" Ron sounded hopelessly close to tears. "If anything she's bullying me!"
"Don't worry about him mum, he's just cranky because Hermione's angry with him."
"Don't tell me you forgot it's her birthday Ron, you know you shouldn't forget things like that!"
"what are you taking about it's not her birthday."
"Go check your calendar dear."
He rushed out of the room.
"Wait for it…" Ginny said.
"NOO!"
Mrs. Weasly and Ginny flinched.
He rushed back into the room; every one of he's features vibrating terror, annoyance and guilt.
"Oh shit! Oh could I forget. I'm so dead! So, oh so dead! She's going to hex my willy green!"
Mrs. Weasly felt too sorry for the poor boy to even bother telling him off for he's swearing. "Calm down dear, I'm sure she'll understand." she said sympathetically. "What with Auror training you have been a tad bit stressed ."
"And besides, the party is a surprise. So you can act like you were acting that you didn't know it was her birthday so you could surprise her with the party."
He gave her a look. "You know that aint a half bad idea."
She shrugged her shoulders smug. "What can I say; we Weasly's are full of conspiracy."
"Ginny he can't lie to her! What have I always thought you children? "
"Dishonesty is blemish." they chorused. Ron but I hand up in salute.
"Second must important rule, right after always wear clean underwear." Ginny added
"Are you wearing clean underwear Ron?"
"Always." he said proudly.
"That's my boy."
"Mamma's boy." Ginny muttered.
"Yeah, I'm my mama's boy." sticking he's tongue at her.
"I need to go, this isn't good for my back speaking from fireplaces, old age and all does that."
"I don't think your old at all mum."
"Save the flattering for when Hermione comes back." Ginny said.
"Anyway, Ginny dear, I flooded your place a minute ago, Harry told me you were here. Just thought I might mention that something's off with your pygmy puff's there well…..umm….I don't know how to put it."
"What happened?"
"Well, I had no idea that it was in there nature to be so…carnal."
"What does that mean?" she asked confused.
Out of her embarrassment Mrs. Weasly got angry. "I blame you entirely Ginny! What on earth would drive you into wanting to get so many pygmy puffs! And to top it off you have no where to put them so you make us keep them in the shed!"
"I couldn't find anywhere to fit them. And there just all so cute, staring at me through there cages, you can't tell me you can just walk away from them."
"Believe me I manage. But honesty Ginny two hundred multicoloured creatures!"
"You know I vividly recall having this conversation before. What are they doing to make you so angry?"
"Mating."
The two Weasly's blushed as red as there hairs.
"No freaking way…" Ginny drawled out slowly.
"How do those little hairy balls even do that?" Ron said having difficulties visualizing it.
"Oh, it isn't a pretty sight Ron, your father almost had a heart attack when he walked in there, and he froze them for the time being, so they don't reproduce hundred more sex crazed puff balls."
"Well, what do you expect when you cram them all together like that?"
"Okay, mum move out the fire I'm coming myself."
"Well, I'm not sure how that would help, but you can come see them for yourself if you like."
"How could my babies do this?" Ginny said looking through the cup for floo powder. "I thought they were good."
"Hey even cute puffy things have urges."
"Bye honey, and for your sake I suggest you get Hermione a good present." Mrs. Weasly said.
Her head disappeared and after giving Ron a hug and wishing him good luck, Ginny left through the fireplace as well.
For the rest of the day Ron sat on the couch staring into space with a pose that would take The Thinker into shame. But of course Ron did know who The Thinker was so there was no competition.
He contemplated what he should get for he's girlfriend of almost three years. The problem was, whenever he made himself think every idea vanished from he's mind. He wished Ginny was still here so he could ask here.
He could get her a book…she liked reading.
At this rate, the pygmy puffs were going to get way more then he was tonight.
He got up from the kitchen and into the living room where he continued to think; hopefully moving to different rooms would help him come up with a late minute present. It didn't work. Damn!
But I can't be blamed for not thinking, he thought, it's that damn lapog, laptop-or whatever its called keep's buzzing in the corner.
Hermione had brought it a few mounts ago, claiming that she's become so untouched with her muggles side that she almost forgot about the internet. She tried to explain its uses to Ron several times but he couldn't believe that such a thing could have so much source of information.
Wait a second! A thought suddenly came to mind. This lapoo could become of some use.
He sat on the desk. How do you turn this thing on anyway? The screen was blank, he was about to lift he's wand to cast revealing charm, but put it down again realizing this was a muggles material that was set on electricity.
He tapped the screen a couple of times, nothing happened, he pressed a key and jumped in surprise when the screen lit up.
Hermione had taught him he basics of using the internet, he clicked on the E button with a thingy they called a mouse. Why they called it a mouse he had no clue.
He started typing on the search bar, slowly because he had to search for where the letter he wanted were. Hopefully if he was polite to it, it would get what he wanted.
Hello, my names Ron and I need a present right now to give to my girlfriend, any ideas, please?
He pressed the search button.
A second letter, the page read-sorry your search didn't match any documents.
Oh, oh! So they wanted to play difficult.
He tried again, this time a bit more demanding.
Present to get my girlfriend ideas.
On second thought he added.
Now!
Several links came up, which Ron smugly clicked on.
There were many suggestions. But none of which were useful.
He spend over fifteen minutes clicking random pages and scanning them for good ideas, until suddenly he found something that turned he's frustrated frown right upside down.
Write her a song.
But Ron had no time to write a song, and he doubted he'd make a good one. But Ron refused himself to look at the negative side, there's always a way, he thought positively. Like Ginny said, we Weasly are full of conspiracy.
Every Weasly had a family tag. Bill was the one who always asked questions, why is the sky blue? Do owls get headaches? Is the moon following us? It had become too much that they had to pay him to shut up (Mr and Mrs. Wesley were against the idea of selling there sons mouth shout). You would suspect that Percy was the tagged to be the book worms, but he's family tag was the one who always had something to do or liked to constantly be praised. Ginny was the one who always sat under tables or lay under beds, either to write or to find solitude. Fred and George were the ones that always got into people business-The nosy ones- then they'd mess it up. Charlie was the one who always fell down, usually from the top of the stairs and over the banister.
As for Ron, he was the one who always postponed everything and anything you asked him to do, but the thing with growing up always delaying things was that Ron had master the skill of rapidly doing the task and finding loopholes.
So Ron was not nervous at the least in coming up with a last minute song, he was after all the master in deception.
Ron decided to overlook he's mothers second must important rule in the book. After all even she would say its worth lying to save your life. At the moment he was very desperate.
OOOOO
Ron had a feeling Hermione was ignoring him. When he went to visit her at her office, the receptionist (a bit of a trap if you asked Ron) didn't even bother to lie to him but told him straight out that she wasn't busy in the slightest neither was she doing anything but she didn't desire to see him. When he frowned at her she shrugged her shoulders and told him she was merrily following orders.
Ron had decided to sing her the song while they were alone, he didn't have the guts to sing it in front of everyone at the party.
Ron no longer had a feeling or a hunch that she was ignoring him, because not even a dim-witted troll would not cease to realize that someone was avoiding them when they acted they way Hermione was treating him today. So that's why Ron no longer had a feeling she was ignoring him, it was a full blown fact with a capital F.
OOOOOO
Ron without much effort looked over the crowd of friends and family gathered around with the assistance of he's height and adjusted the strap of the guitar case he carried.
Ron's eyes landed on the subject of he's peril, who was in a deep and from the looks of it highly amusing conversation with a friend of hers that so happened to be a dwarf, since when Hermione started making friends with dwarfs he did not know.
He scurried between to pack of people gathered in Ginny and Harry's apartment, ignoring the complaints for shoving being thrown he's way.
He smiled when he heard her snorting laughter.
"Hey Hermy!"
Ron knew just how much she hated it when he called her that; he did it just to see if hopefully he could get a reaction out of her.
She looked at him absently, nodded her head in he's direction and continued talking to dwarf that only reached her knees.
Damn! She's still pissed.
"Could you excuse us for a moment," he addressed the dwarf. "I need to borrow Hermione for a moment."
The dwarf nodded he's head, but Ron was to busy hurling the struggling and loudly protesting women away to see it.
Hermione slumped in defeat, releasing there was no point in causing a scene and allowed herself to follow him.
They went into the bedroom; Ron closed the door behind them.
"Would you please Ronald, explained to me why you so vilely manhandled me?" She asked raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms.
"Because I want to give you your present." he said smiling and sat himself on the bed.
Her raised eyebrows went higher, almost disappearing under the bangs of her bushy hair. She put a finger on her chin thoughtfully.
"Hmm, it's difficult to contemplate just how you were able to come up with a decent present in the last minute. I have to admit I'm engrossed."
"I didn't forget your birthday!" Ron said as dramatically as he could. "How could you make yourself believe that? I was pretending so this could be a surprise for you."
That was it for her the span of her cool. She closed her eyes, gritted her teeth and it looked like she was shaking. Her facial expression was disturbingly beginning to look like professor McGonagall.
She composed herself and let out a deep breath.
"Ron." she emotionalized that one word. "I could forgive you for forgetting, really I could, and I wouldn't even have blamed you."
Her eyes darkened. "But you just had to go ahead and take created for someone else's work, you certainty had nothing to do with this party, honestly Ron what do you take me for a moron!"
Ron who had shrunk back into the bed at her every word and ducked he's head in shame, looked up at her and said in an oddly quiet and earnest voice.
"Of course not Hermione. I just didn't want you to be upset is all, honest."
She sighed and stared at him for a few seconds.
"Fine!" she said loudly, but thankfully not mad. "Whatever, it doesn't matter." she flung herself on the mattress and lay down looking up the ceiling.
Ron smiled at her, relived that she wasn't angry of him and very much appreciated the view he was getting. Her brown locks sprawled across the covers; her silky dress clung to her slim body-
"Stop visually harassing me and show me what you got.""Huh?" her voice had snapped him out of her thoughts and her words had several suggestive meanings in Ron's head.
"Your present, you said you had a present for me."
"Oh! Yeah you're going to love this."
He picked up the guitar case and began taking it out.
"You brought me a guitar?" she asked leaning on her elbow.
"No, I made you a song."
"Since when were you a musician?" she raised an eyebrow and sat up.
"No I'm a wizard."
He gave the guitar a tap of he's wand and it stood up and began playing a tone, which Hermione noticed was oddly familiar.
Ron gracefully stood in front of Hermione adapting a manly pose and cleared he's voice dramatically, he made he's voice sound deeper and began.
"L is for the way you look at me.
O is for the only one I see,
V is very, very extraordinaire
E is even more than any one that you adore and love was made fo-for…"
Ron's voice trailed off when the pained and cringing expression Hermione was making every time Ron made a high note was replaced with a vicious smile, he had hoped that this song he found on the internet would have pleased her.
"see the way I spelled love there…" he said nervously.
"Ron, why, oh why, do you insult my intelligent."
"I wasn't…"
"Where did you get that's song from?" her voice could make the must courage's Gryffindor cowered away.
"I-I umm…"
"Tell me!" she snapped.
"Oh, I can't do it no more!" he mourned in despair and sunk on he's knees in front of her. Hermione could find out anything, how did she know he didn't right this song? It was a truly a frightening thing.
"I'm really sorry Hermione." he said clasping her knees. "I know I screwed up badly, I just really wanted to give you something and I know if I tried I couldn't have got you something in the last minute but It wouldn't have been that good and I wanted to get you something special so I used the lapgo-"
"laptop." she corrected automatically.
"Right, laptop. And it gave me lots of ideas, I wanted to write you a song, but you know I'm not that creative. I was learning that song all day. And besides I thought you said you didn't like muggles music!"
She frowned at him. "I said I preferred wizardly music, but I don't dislike it, and frankly Ron you chose one of the must well known and common songs in history ask any muggles born or muggles raised kid and I'd bet you anything they'd know it."
He sighed. "I screwed up didn't?"
"Epically."
"I feel so gutted right now."
She sighed deeply. "Forget about it Ron, it's alright, besides if your singing wasn't so horrible I would have loved it. And can you please stop being so melodramatic ya silly sausage. You can make it up to me if you want." she said stroking the hair from the head that lay on her lap.
"You bet your sweet arse I'll make it up to you, tell me Hermi's anything you want!"
"Well the day isn't over yet, we still have all night for you to make it up." she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
"Oh what could be running though your mind right now? You baaad girl, you deserve I right old spanking." he grinned goofy.
"Oh no, don't spank!" she laughed hysterically and wiggled away form he's grasp.
Ron climbed on the bed with her and began tickling her while she laughed her snorting laugh and repeatedly hit him with a pillow.
"Oh, no don't spank me daddy please!"
The door creaked open and Harry popped he's head inside, took one look at them and wrinkled he's nose.
Hermione and Ron stop what they were doing to glare at him. Ron was straddling Hermione's hips.
"Ginny!" Harry called out. "Ron and Hermione are being freaky!" he yelled out while trying to shuffle he's laughter, apparently having heard there goofiness.
"Oh, get out of here you twat." Ron threw a pillow at he's head which Harry neatly dodged.
"Oh, of course I wouldn't want you to spank anyone daddy." he laughed.
Hermione and Ron blushed.
"I hate you."
"I beg to differ." he said. "Now get out of here and continue your freakiness else where."
"Screw you potter." were Ron and Hermione last words before they apparated away.
Harry laughed again, recalling there freaky role play. Just then Ginny came in and stood behind him.
"Stop laughing to yourself Harry, do you want to gain your reputation as a lunatic again? I thought I heard you call me."
There was a loud pop sound and Ron appeared again, he's hair was ruffled and shirt had almost all its buttons open.
"Hehe." he laughed awkwardly. "Forgot her bag." he picked up the said purse and with a pop disappeared again.
"Hmm, guess he's getting more than the pygmy puffs are tonight." Ginny said thoughtfully.
"Hey, Ginny want to do it like furry balls?"
She whacked him on the head and exited the room with a mumbling Harry behind her clutching he's sore head.
OOOOOOOOO
Apparently the consequence of being oblivious is getting laid. Who would have thought?
Thank you for reading! And if you liked it please review, reviews put a smile on my face.