I nearly killed him yet he forgave me. He said he loved me but forgave me when I said that I couldn't think of anyone like that yet. He'll always be so forgiving. But I won't be able to forgive myself if I let him die because of me.
Oneshot. Galeniss.
Forgiveness.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Sorry, I'm not hungry." I excuse myself from the table dutifully but as soon as I am out of sight I start running. There is no particular reason for my running other than that I feel I need to. I have done nothing to save Peeta. Nothing. Were it me who needed saving, he'd stop at nothing to do so.
I sniff back tears as I think of what they must be doing to him. Torture. Demanding to know where 'The Mockingjay' is. It's ironic really, that Panem is expecting me to save them from this sadistic world and I can't even save him. I can't even save myself.
I shut the door of my temporary room and look at the window. We are still travelling. It seems like an eternity since I last saw him and I was in the hands of the person who wanted me dead the most. President Snow can shoot himself. Save himself a lot pain because if he touches Peeta, I won't rest until he's dead.
I take a deep breath, knowing that the Capitol's control over me is broken. They can't order me to kill my peers. They can't order anyone to kill their peers.
There's a knock on my door. I turn around and wait for it to come again, in case I've imagined it. About a minute later it comes again, louder.
"Yeah?" I call, expecting either my mother or Prim to be there.
"Mum, I'm sorry. I'm sure dinner was lovely but I just..."
"No, it's me."
I freeze. Gale and I haven't really spoken but now he's calling to my room?
I say something stupid like 'oh' and I go to the door and I unlock it. He towers over me with a tray of food in his hand and a forceful look on his face. I bite my lip and wait for one of us to say something. He doesn't. But he pushes past me and lays the tray on my bed. I raise an eyebrow.
"That's nice of you, Gale. But I'm not really hungry so..."
"Katniss, you didn't eat anything today. I'm not leaving until you've eaten all this." His voice was bland.
I sigh.
"Seriously..."
He walked past me again but only to shut the door. Then he turned his back to it and folded his arms, nodding towards the food.
Gale is a lot of things and stubborn would be one of them. I sigh quietly and take a bit of bread and swallow it.
"Happy?" I ask.
He shakes his head.
"All of it." He argues. I sit down on my bed and take another bit of bread. He rolls his eyes.
"Get some protein. And some fibre." He comes to sit on the other side of the bed and I glare at him. He smiles slightly.
For a few minutes we are silent apart from my eating. Then I speak.
"What happens now?" I ask. His face turns confused.
"Well, "he spoke, "first, you finish eating. Then you tell me why you're not eating in the first place."
I turn to the floor.
"You know why."
"Mellark? Katniss, there is no way he is going to give you up."
I turn to him again.
"That's just it. I know he won't. And if he won't, they'll kill him." My voice is quiet and nothing like me. But I can barely recognise myself.
"Look, there are a few ways Snow could've gone about this. One would be a public execution. Announce it to Panem entirely that if you don't give yourself up, he will kill him in front of everyone. Another would be to announce to Panem that a reward of blah blah blah will be issued to anyone with information of your whereabouts, turn the people against you. You're the leader. You're the Mockingjay. You need to keep your strength up and you need to lead those people to freedom. To do that, you need to keep yourself alive. Mellark would want you alive." He adds the last bit and I can tell he's holding back a small bit of bitterness.
"I'd be the exact same if it were you." I whisper.
"But it isn't me." And when he says it, I know that there's a double meaning to his words.
He starts to get up but I cut across his movement.
"No, please. Stay." I cannot believe how weak I sound and he raises an eyebrow but doesn't move.
"Just eat." He says but instead of leaving, he walks up to the window and stares out for a bit. I wonder what he sees but instead I start to notice how awkward we have become. He doesn't look me in the eye anymore. Yet he feeds me. I can't take the awkwardness. Gale has always been the one with the answer and I can't lose him now, at the most crucial point in my life when I need him most.
"Stay with me. Talk for a while." I say and he is caught off guard by my sudden outburst.
He turns.
"What do you want me to say?" He says.
"Tell me what happened in District 12."
I know it might be painful for him seeing as he hadn't seen his family escape but I needed to know about everyone else. Madge, the Mayor, Peeta's family.
"It happened during your Games. It was night-time and I suppose most people were headed for bed. I was coming back from work. I heard the sirens. The bombs started falling, first on the Hob. Then a lot more came. I was close to your house so I rushed them out and told them to get to the fence. I wanted to go back and look for your family but we were intercepted by a man in a car. He ordered us to get inside on pain of your death and he said something was about to happen. War."
His story is not nearly enough for me. I press him further.
"But...what happened afterwards? Who's still alive in Distr..."
"I told you, Catnip. There is no District 12."
I pause.
"I'm so sorry. But thank you for getting them out."
I know by his face that he's beating himself up about his family.
"Hazelle's very resourceful. She'd have found a way out."
"But what then? They'll starve in the forest! I taught Rory the basics but it won't be nearly enough to let them cope. And what if Snow found them? Katniss, I need to find them."
I know exactly how he feels. He feels helpless against the bigger force that is the Capitol. So do I. But maybe two small forces could combine to make bigger.
"We'll plan it. As soon as we arrive in District 13, we'll tell them to have people searching the forest. We need to beat the Capitol. I need to and I need you with me. I've always needed you."
His expression changes. He is nearly happy.
" You're right. We're going to blow the Capitol sky high."
I smirk too, enjoying thinking about causing pain to the one person who started my own. Snow will regret the day he crossed our path. I pull Gale close to me in a hug.
Then I do something I'm not sure about. I turn around and I kiss him, full on the lips.
Gale is warm. He is someone I could always trust but now I'm not sure what I'm doing around him. I never kissed Peeta like this and Peeta never kissed me like Gale is kissing me. But then he stops.
"What's wrong?" I ask but he pulls away.
"I don't want this." He breathes and I pull away too.
"Oh. But I thought..."
"I love you, Catnip. But right now you're not thinking straight. You're doing this to forget about everything. But I want you to love me for me, when this mess is over. Not when your head is drowning with thoughts. I love you, but in no way am I going to take advantage of you when you can't think properly." His voice is stern but the fact that he stops is admirable to me.
He stands up and points to the tray.
"Eat. I'll talk to you later." He voice softens as he moves to the door.
"Forgive me, Gale." He turns and raises an eyebrow.
"There' s nothing to forgive."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I hoped you liked it. I like one-shot's so here's another one.
LF xoxo